A Shimmer of Angels

by Lisa M Basso

  Did I? I looked over the side of the building again. Straight down, too many stories.

  His wings stretched out, the stars in them aligning with those in the sky. I gazed at him in wonder. A shiver tapped my spine. Those dark, mysterious wings. Against my better wishes, my scrambled brain connected Kade’s wings to the killer’s. I tensed in his arms.

  I’d been looking for Az everywhere inside: as a patient, as a nurse, but he could be here with me now. I could be pressed against his chest with his arms around me.

  If Kade really was Az somehow, then this was it for me. They’d find my body splattered on the pavement. No one would remember him. They’d think I committed suicide.

  I swallowed, forcing the hard lump down my throat. Either I trusted him or I’d get caught, be dragged, kicking and screaming, back to my bed restraints and psych cocktails. Of course, if I did give myself over to him completely, there was that pesky little possible side effect of death to deal with. I closed my eyes and shook my head, trying to convince myself to trust him. Because I had about three seconds to do just that.

  Kade hesitated. His warm breath tickled my eyelashes. “Something’s wrong.”

  I glanced up at him. “Wrong? What’s wrong?”

  “Someone’s near.”

  I tried to push off him and look around, but he squashed my face to his chest with one hand.

  “We have to go. Don’t make a sound.”

  Before I could take my next breath, he tipped us over the edge. I bit back a scream as we plummeted to our deaths.

  I waited for the end. It was too cold to take in anything but sharp breaths. And my body was still so numb that when we did finally hit the ground, I might not even feel it. The thought became a comfort all on its own.

  But death didn’t come.

  It no longer felt like we were falling. Wind still ripped passed me, but from the wrong direction. “It’s okay, Rayna. You can look now.”

  Hiking my shoulders up to my ears, I tilted my head to the side and opened one eye. And screamed. Different shades of black and blue flew by beneath us as his dark wings flapped. Tiny reflections of stars danced off them. Above me, I could see only sky.

  “Wh—who was on the roof with us?” I asked, my jaw chattering.

  “Huh? Oh, no one. I … was mistaken.” His breath warmed the top of my head, but as quickly as it came it was gone. “It’s okay now. You’re out.”

  He was lying, I could tell, but I wasn’t really in a position to question it. With the wind rushing beneath us and my adrenaline pumping, I’d just as soon let it go. It didn’t matter. We were away from there now. Far away. “Where are we going?” There was no way I could just go home now. Not after escaping the mental hospital. Would I ever be able to go home again?

  “For a skinny girl, you’re sort of heavy. We’ll never make it all the way back to San Francisco this way.” He dipped his wings. Our flight path wobbled, like turbulence in an airplane. I clenched tighter to him, surprised my nails didn’t draw blood. Kade laughed, a sound so full of life I almost enjoyed hearing it. If only it wasn’t directed at me.

  I kicked him before I could think better of it.

  “Careful, or I’ll really drop you,” he added.

  The icy air blasting us from every angle helped clear some of the fuzziness in my head. I turned my face back into his chest.

  He’d come all that way. Why? Because I’d asked him to, or because he wanted me to owe him that favor? I swallowed. Whatever his reasons for breaking me out, I’d bet they weren’t simple. Kade was a mystery wrapped in a dangerous package. And feathers. Can’t forget the black feathers. They fit in there somewhere, too. He wasn’t on my side; he just wanted something from me.

  “Seriously though, I have to land. You’re freezing, and,” he paused thoughtfully, making me look up at him. “It takes a lot out of me to fly.” Something in his face changed, hardened. Apparently, there was more to flying than he wanted me to know. I considered annoying him until he told me what it was, but I wasn’t entirely sure he wouldn’t just drop me. “We’ll stop in Sonora.”

  I maneuvered just far enough away from his chest for my voice not to muffle. “Anything to get back on the ground.”

  At least the constant stream of cold air seemed to counteract the medication. Or maybe that was the adrenaline talking. My hair whipped into my face every time I braved a glance, so I pressed my forehead back to his chest.

  Eventually, our angle changed. I felt us glide, so smoothly and evenly I could hardly tell we were flying anymore. He dropped his arms away. I freaked and clung to him.

  “You can let go now. We’re on the ground.”

  I opened my eyes to find myself standing on his shoes. I pried my arms from around him and stumbled back until I hit brick. Dizziness swirled around in my head. A streetlamp cast a faded amber glow down the darkened alley he’d set us down in. The color pulsed in my vision. The sour scent of garbage turned my already sensitive stomach.

  “Wow, that was … something,” I said after thick moments of silence spent trying to get a handle on the meds.

  “Don’t complain. Statistically, it’s the safest way to travel.” He stowed the twinkling wings behind him, as out of sight as they could be.

  Somehow I doubted that. But he still … he came. He actually came. And as much as I hated to admit it, I owed him big for it. I opened my mouth to thank him, but something else came out instead. “What happens now?”

  A dark grin shadowed his face. “Now, we party.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  “What? No. I need to get home … ish.” I couldn’t let myself believe San Francisco had nothing left for me. After all, Dad, Laylah, and Lee were there. Even if it would be impossible to see them. It was almost funny how love for the city snuck up on me, considering I’d always clung to Safford as home before.

  “You don’t have a choice.” He sounded like he truly believed this.

  Small glitters of green glass littered the alley floor. Not good with the combination of shaking knees and still-potent drugs. “Actually,” I stepped, barefoot, down the alley, my back to the wall. The crumbling brick and mortar gripped my pj bottoms, twisting and bunching them, but it was better than slicing open my foot. No way was I asking Kade to carry me again. “I can take the bus.”

  “Yeah. The mental-patient scrubs wouldn’t give you away or anything. They’d have you back within the hour. You could always call your dad to pick you up.”

  I hated him for being right.

  “Relax. I took a look around town before I came to get you. Some girl invited me to her party. We can lay low there until morning. That would be best for both of us, safer. Then we’ll find a way back.” Glass crunched under his feet, and when I peered up into his face, I could see traces of dark circles forming beneath his eyes. Or my vision was still wacky. He turned toward the mouth of the alley before I could get a better look.

  I didn’t push him, even though it really would have made more sense to skip town now. Again, I had to trust him. And again, I hated it.

  “Fine, but do you really expect me to go to a party drugged up and dressed like an escaped mental patient?”

  He looked over his shoulder. A smile stretched across his lips. “Ah, now that’s the best part.” He strode toward me, glass crunching beneath his feet. He straightened my clothes, and tugged his fingers through the tangles in my hair. “Where else but a Halloween party could an escaped mental patient and a Fallen angel find refuge from the authorities?”

  A sound of disbelief left my lips. “You’re unbelievable.” I thought about that. “And way too good at this stuff.”

  He slid his arm over my shoulders and lifted me over the glass, setting me down at the mouth of the alley. “You have no idea.”

  We walked—well, he walked, I stumbled—less than two blocks before I heard shouts and the unmistakable bump of music. A block and a half later we arrived at what would have been an ordinary, two-story house, if the entire thing had
n’t been lit red from the inside. Partiers spewed from every door, and a few poured out of the second story window to lounge on the roof over the garage. Of course Kade would not only get invited to a party in the short amount of time he was in town, but to the most intense party I’d ever seen—not that I’d been to any, only watched them in movies with Lee.

  Everyone had dressed for the occasion. Outside, seven or eight guys joked and pushed each other. Two were dressed as women; the others had oozing sores that dripped fake blood over their faces and shirts. Two girls holding red plastic cups stepped through the front door, one dressed as a slutty wench, the other as a sluttier Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. Which just seemed wrong. The second girl carried a stuffed Toto and barked—barked!—at Kade as we passed them. He grinned back at them, allowing his gaze to linger a moment too long on the sashaying hem of Dorothy’s skirt. I rolled my eyes. And I was the one in the mental hospital.

  Kade pushed through the front door, keeping me close. The hot rush of all those sweaty bodies packed together pumped my blood faster. Party goers quivered and jumped in my vision. Too many people. Too many faces. My breathing got shallow. Each time the bass pumped, my chest constricted. Tighter. Tighter. Sweat trickled down my palm. I squeezed Kade’s hand to steady myself.

  He slowed, his other hand seared into my back as he pressed us forward. It took three and a half songs to traverse to the other end of the living room, where it seemed even more crowded, thanks to the bar.

  “You want a drink?” Kade asked.

  I pinched the bridge of my nose in an effort to stop the pounding inside my head. It didn’t help. “Can’t. Drugged, remember?” I shouted as close to his ear as I could get.

  Kade checked out the bar, the line winding halfway back to the door, and took another look at the mess I had to be. I must’ve looked pitiful, because he turned his back on the bar. “You wanna find somewhere quieter?”

  I nodded, hoping the tears would wait another few moments to fall. I would’ve rather cried alone, but as we moved deeper into the house, we discovered the line for the bathroom trailed twelve people strong, and I lost hope that we’d find so much as an empty closet to hole up in.

  Kade towed me up the stairs behind him. My legs felt ready to collapse. He slowed, matching my pace. Up here was better. Less crowded, and not as loud. My chest relaxed a bit. Too bad the meds were still keeping my muscles and vision on lock down.

  We checked each of the bedrooms, all of which were occupied by couples in various stages of undress. Kade seemed to find amusement in the embarrassed flush of my cheeks. He examined me every time we closed one of the doors, and each time, his grin was different. Wider. Mortification dulled the hypersensitivity invading my senses.

  After we’d been through all five bedrooms, he grabbed a throw blanket off the back of a chair occupied by another couple and opened the window at the top of the stairs. He stepped out onto the first-floor roof and reached through to help me out. The roof laid flat enough for even my shaky feet. We weren’t alone up here, and the vibrations from the music still buzzed through my bones, but the outside felt gentler somehow.

  I stopped a few feet from the edge and sat down. The gritty shingles scratched my feet and poked through my thin asylum pj’s, but it felt so good to finally relax. Kade slid down beside me and wrapped the throw around my shoulders.

  I let out a small sigh and struggled to hold my head up. As impossible as it was, I was out. Free.

  “You feeling all right?” he asked. A skanky chick in an angel costume stumbled out the window with a “woo!” He flicked an irritated glare in her direction.

  “Much better. Thank you. For, um, everything.” I gave up trying to fight the heaviness of my body and slouched against him. “Do you want some blanket? Do you guys even get cold?” I asked, already trying to figure out how to drape the small amount of fabric over those giant wings.

  He accepted the blanket, making sure I was covered first before scooting closer and sliding his arm around my back. “You don’t have to thank me, you just have to owe me. And yeah, we feel cold and hot, just not as extremely as you do.”

  The silence washed over us—as much as it could with the music still blasting inside—but it was more the stillness I enjoyed. Well, that, and the not being chained to a bed.

  “Care to tell me why you were there?” His voice was soft and cautious, in a way I’d never thought possible.

  “Because I see angels.”

  He stared at me for a beat, and then burst out laughing.

  I sank deeper into his hold, taking in the dark surroundings and the twinkles in the clear sky. It reminded me of my first real home. I missed our little town in Arizona so much. Mom would always have dinner ready when Dad came home, and Laylah and I would take turns helping her with the dishes while Dad ate and worked more. The nights were like this. I used to look out the window after Mom tucked us in, wondering what a big city looked like.

  “You all right?” His voice was like a hum in the background of the music.

  It was the second time he’d asked that since we got up here. I could have worried about what I looked like, what he was thinking about, how I could change whatever I was doing to make myself more normal. Instead, I mumbled, “Mmm-hmm,” and let my eyes drift closed, giving them exactly what they wanted.

  I felt his head turn against my cheek, the soft brush of his breath on my hair. He was watching me, but for once, I was too tired to care.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Cam and I lay on the grass, looking over the sandbox in my favorite park, the one Laylah and I grew up ten blocks from. His wings caught the sunlight and exploded it all around him, almost as if they were the sun itself.

  “I’m so sorry for watching while those men took you to that awful place, Rayna. I would have given anything to take you away with me.” He sat up, laying his hand behind me. Blades of the damp grass squeaked as he twined his fingers around them. “Anything.”

  I suppressed a sigh. No way he was getting off that easy. Words, no matter how pretty, would not melt me.

  “And I’m sorry for getting you involved in this mess with the angels and the Fallen, for all the pain this has caused you.” Behind him, a small field of orange flowers bloomed. Poppies. They were so much like Cam, thriving in full sunlight, just like his wings. “But in a small way, I’m not sorry. Getting to know you has been the best part of my existence.”

  Between the haze around me and the perfection of his words, I knew I was in a dream. And a good one at that.

  “In that case, of course I forgive you.” I settled closer to him, determined to make this dream as worthwhile as possible.

  Our arms brushed, and he rolled over on his side to smile that flawless smile. He slid closer, pulling me to him. I nestled my head onto his chest. He was so close. So warm. But he smelled nothing like grass and earth; instead, I smelled soap and leather. His fingers tentatively brushed up my back. When they went back down, my entire body shivered. Desire hooked its clutches into me in a way I’d never experienced.

  In an effort to be closer to him, I hooked my leg over his. When had dream-me become so bold? His other hand rested on my knee, and his breath breezed softly against my cheek. Spearmint. His breath smelled like my favorite gum. He rested his forehead against my temple. Home. It was like being home.

  His lips barely brushed the line of my jaw while his hand began a slow ascent up the outside of my thigh. He whispered my name. It almost broke me.

  I clutched for the front of his shirt, but suddenly, he wasn’t wearing one. All the better. I hooked my fingers around the back of his neck. The muscles there were thick and corded. “Cam,” I whispered back and angled him toward my lips.

  He froze, then pulled back.

  The action knocked me out of the dream. I opened my eyes to find Kade staring back at me, our bodies intertwined exactly the way they had been in my dream. The dream. With Cam. Not Kade. Cam. I jerked back so fast I nearly gave myself whiplash. “Wh
at the hell are you doing?”

  Kade tensed, every one of the muscles in his bare chest contracting. He stood, and the glare he leveled in my direction cut me in two. “What was I doing? You were all over me, princess.”

  Ugh. No way was I practically molesting Kade in real life while dreaming about Cam. But it was entirely possible. I was sleeping the sleep of the dead—and doped up still. Anything could have been possible. Not that I would admit that to him. I crossed my arms over my chest. “Don’t ever do that again. This is not cuddly-McCuddle time.”

  I sat up and inched back, putting more distance between us, and looked around. We weren’t on the roof anymore. The blinds were pulled, keeping the shadows close, but I could see enough to tell we were in a bedroom. From the pink paint and half-naked pictures of guys pinned up all over the walls, I’d guess we were still in the same house, in one of the previously occupied bedrooms. Ew. I lurched off the bed.

  Kade looked away, like he couldn’t stand the sight of me anymore, and cracked his knuckles.

  Where was his shirt? I swallowed, beads of nerves gathering along the back of my neck. I’d just slept with him. I mean we didn’t sleep together sleep together, but we’d shared a bed. And almost did more.

  The definition in his abs had me thankful the bed separated us. I’d never seen such a perfect body up close before. A tingly feeling rose in my stomach. Which was one part exciting. And ninety-nine parts terrifying.

  A smooth, pink scar on the left side of his chest marred the perfection of his body. The sight of it caused an ache in my own chest. A scar that large had to have been very painful to acquire. I traced fingertips over my own heart. He’d never looked more human to me than he did now, hurt or angry at me for what I’d accidentally done, for damaging us somehow.

  No, no, no. Whatever I was thinking, or feeling, wasn’t allowed. Kade was fine. I was fine.

  “Next time you want to play make-believe, leave me the hell out of it.” He turned to peek out the window, nearly breaking the blinds when he poked a finger through them and yanked down.