"What a fool was I, to jump when I did. I should have trusted in Graeber," Rai thought to herself. Except she wasn't allowed private thoughts anymore.
"If it means that much to you, you can have him back. A prize for your efforts." Vida must be feeling generous today.
"I doubt he'll want what I am now. He's something of a racial purist."
"He gets no choice. No want. What I declare is. Or he dies."
Rai remembered back to those moments in Harper's Sorrow when she and Graeber had almost touched. When she'd almost known him again, but he'd never allowed it. Her heart ached to go back to that moment, to know who he was, who they'd been together. To have all of her questions answered before Vida destroyed everything.
And, of course, Vida was listening. And she understood at levels Rai didn't yet comprehend, but Rai was beginning to integrate. Each memory was synthesized through all her senses, but also Vida picked up on the history around the moment, all of the plant and animal activity in the area, and bio scans of each of them too. Things Rai must have been aware of, on some level, before.
"It's called multi-dimensional awareness. You'll get used to it, as it's a part of us now. And yes, you will have that moment, it is assured."
Rai imagined herself frowning. As she wasn't physically in control of her body, her consciousness was limited to the mental image Rai had of herself. "Why would you do that for me? For Graeber and I?"
"Because, child, you may not see it through my mind's eye yet, but he's just like you were when you came to me. Another perfect vessel. I can see this through the strength of your memories and the bond you had with him. I need to know before I complete my task, how this came to be. And I need the use of him."
Rai laughed. "He is not one to yield."
"Neither were you."
Rai recalled all too vividly how her will and body had been stripped away. Rai felt chills pass over her consciousness, pocketed within the space she inhabited inside Vida.
"You've said you can see things through your mind's eye. What does that mean?"
"I am aware of all life here, and elsewhere, through my mind's eye. It is how I became aware of the humans. Without a suitable vessel, however, I was not able to bring action to your doorstep."
"And how does it work, this eye?"
"Would you like me to show you? We are one. We are to be of one will. The sooner you understand the true nature of things, the easier for all."
"So, what, using this will change how I think?"
"No, it shows truth purely. Absolutely. Then you are driven to act accordingly, as a creature of conscience would be, yes?"
Was this a trap? Was it mind control, or could Rai use it and then use what she saw to give Vida a human's perspective on the viewings? Would a better understanding of humans impact Vida's planned course?
Rai had no idea, yet her curiosity won out.
"Show me how."
"Willingly, vessel."
Rai's consciousness was drawn out of her protected little pocket, and into the wholeness of Vidaaquar. Again she felt her feet moving upon the ground, the wind rushed past her body, and her hair whipped to and fro. The world rushed past them in a blur, but somehow the effort was insubstantial. It was always that way with Vida, although Rai didn't know why.
Now she was fully back in her body, but she didn't presume to be in charge. Next, her vision shifted, and it reminded her of her previous enhanced night vision, but this was altogether better and more complex. Everything around her gained an extra dimension of intricacy and information, and yet her awareness held a dreamy, disembodied quality. The trees they passed; she knew their ages, exact dimensions, how much water they took in and how much oxygen they put out, and their relationships to each other without even having to ask. The same was true of a family of rodents living in the hollow of one of the trees, which she glimpsed in passing.
But that was only the beginning. Beyond physical eyesight, Vida's mind's eye observed other beings further out and other structures. Some were natural formations like caves, and some were human-made. Rai felt, instead of seeing, where the roads were, and how far away they were. Stretching farther, she felt the cities, the farms, the outposts. She felt the humans, all of them. Rai felt the city, Sebaiya. It would not be long before they reached it.
However, they did near a Guardian outpost, and she knew Vida meant to encounter it. Rai's mind cringed, it would not go well here. It hadn't worked well for the past few farms they'd passed. Rai had protested, begged, and screamed for Vida to stop, but to no avail. Rai had withdrawn into silence after that, willing herself unsuccessfully to not witness her people's piecemeal destruction.
"You saw all of this before? Knew we were here?"
"I merely glimpsed. I knew only of a wrongness. I did not have the focusing lens of this vessel. Together we are stronger."
Glad to be of service, Rai thought to herself.
"But you have been."
"I will show you we are not pests. We have value."
"I have already seen. I already know."
"You use me. I have value."
"Ah, but you are not like them. You who are the vessel. You will be made to understand. I have seen the way to this truth as well. I will make you whole."
Rai pulled back from the mind's eye, stupefied. "You can do that?"
"Oh yes. Nothing is beyond us."
"Thank you, Vidaaquar. Perhaps when I'm whole again, I can do a better job of convincing you to save my people."
"I think when you are whole, you will no longer try."
Rai went silent, and within her mind, wept.
They walked up to the outpost, the walls standing firm, Guardians on alert. Rai began to withdraw, knowing what was next.
"No, we are one. I will no longer permit this."
"I cannot bear it. These are my people."
"You are no longer of them. You are the all-knowing, all-seeing Vidaaquar. You will not separate."
And Vida fixed Rai in place, with a series of mental peg holes, and her mind was draped and affixed in front of Vida's mind's eye. Surely, this will drive me insane. I can only hope sooner than later, I suppose, Rai thought
A Guardian approached them, and asked her business, surprised to find a lone traveler on the road during a state of martial law, when no such travelers should exist.
This time, when Vida touched the Guardian and directed his cells to dissolve into their molecular components. Because she was watching through the mind's eye, Rai understood the mechanism and knew the commands necessary to make it happen. And because she was so intertwined with Vida, this time tears ran down her face as she watched the Guardian disintegrate into a pile of slime. The soft parts like the skin and organs more quickly slimed, the bones and cartilage took longer to break down. After that, even the clothing followed. In the end, the earth swallowed him up.
Alarms blared, but this didn't bother Vida, she cherished the humans knowing that fate was upon them. After all, to her, they'd earned their fate, hadn't they? Soon there were more, and they used every trick they knew, but Vida anticipated it all as if she had the universe itself on her side.
Rai wondered: if there were gods, would Vidaaquar qualify? Could Rai convince this veritable goddess that not all of humanity had earned her ire? How does one bargain with a god? Vida had cultivated and curated this world towards her goals for millennia. Could she be convinced to somehow include humanity within her grand design?
Rai caught a glimpse of energetic waves shooting off through the sky, headed towards the cities in a color of blue she knew to be beyond her human perception. Radio waves? Vida adeptly translated the message, using Rai's awareness of Az'Un language. The electronic message warned of another attack by the unknown beast, most likely the one warned of by Ponar Durmah. Well, at least they had their facts straight.
The Guardians attacked with all their weapons, but Vida had thickened her skin to make it impervious, so nothing penetrated, and she felt no blows. They were used
to animals and humans and Terrors. An armored assault by stone was unknown to them. All Vida had to do was touch them to take them down, and she was as fast as lightning. They had no chance.
Rai watched it all. Lived it all, as if it were her own doing. And with each death, Rai lost the will to resist. Each step, in this new configuration Vida had forged upon their minds, brought Rai from the background and into the present. Vida had begun drawing the ending out, reveling in her triumph over the interlopers, insensitive to Rai's emotional distress. With the final few deaths, Rai herself gave the kill order, not waiting for Vida to act. Disgusted and exhausted from the display of Vida's power, Rai wanted it over. Needed it over, to retain her sanity.
In the end, none escaped. Not even the horses.
"We could have ridden a horse. Horses are very fast."
"We're faster. We never tire. Cease your petty defiance."
"Surely your energy is not boundless? Even stars have limits," Rai goaded.
Vida laughed, and it was full of joy and the room filled with a shimmering light. "My kind, we imagined the stars before they ever were. We are the bringers of harmony and light."
"So, why not choose to harmonize with my people, instead of destroying them? Because, if you have a choice, wouldn't the peaceful option be better?"
"Harmony isn't about peace. It's a grievous mistake to assume so. Nothing in your human ways promotes harmony through longevity. In time, your processes would have stripped this planet. This is why my micro-organisms reacted to your kind as an invader. We sensed the inevitable imbalance which would occur with your continued presence, and your destiny was set."
Rai was dumbfounded. "Resources can be used without ill effect. Rocks are used to build houses, but they aren't destroyed."
"No, but trees are cut without being reseeded! Wild game is killed wholesale in areas! Whole segments of forest were wiped clean for cities, and nothing is done to relocate the animals first! The water was befouled with chemicals from the machines used to remove and cut apart the land!"
Rai sighed, unable to argue Vida's points. "We could have, and should have, done better to steward this land. The Az'Un can be educated to follow your guidelines."
Vida walked away from the outpost, and to emphasize her point, the entire structure flattened to the ground, slowly again becoming wood, rocks, and any natural items that remained inside. All else dissolved. The sound was deafening, at least to ears that weren't Vida-proofed.
Rai couldn't speak to Vida's charges; she didn't remember that time in the colony's history. Rai didn't even remember the teachings from the classrooms. "I'm sure no disrespect was meant. I'm sure the colonists were trying to do things in the most economical, fastest way possible."
"They cared only for themselves, not for harmony. This is the end result."
"They can be made to change. This close to you, I sense you can make a difference, yes?"
Vida was still for a moment. Had Rai pushed her too far? "I can create new things through change when I find them worthy. You, as a vessel, spoke to me. I found you worthy and necessary for my task. You were already partly reformed, and I finished the process and then joined with you."
Rai's curiosity peaked. To have a being so powerful judge her so... Could this entity understand Rai in a way her own kind never did?
"Why do you feel I am worthy, Vidaaquar? In my attempts to adapt humanity to Az'Unda, to your plague, I went to extreme lengths. People died because of my choices. Many of my peers judged me undeserving of their forgiveness. How can you find otherwise?"
"I see into your heart. I see the crimes you do not remember. You tried to create harmony, at a high cost, even when you were forbidden to do so by your colleagues. You tried to understand me, through the plague, and they stopped you. You came the closest to grasping my pure form, and so I have rewarded you by allowing you alone to abide."
Suddenly Rai understood, without further detail, when Vida had used her as a vessel that she'd had the option of obliterating her, but hadn't, because of Rai's choices in her life. Funny, the Core wanted her dead for her crimes, and yet Vida had kept her consciousness alive for just the same reason.
"Do you wish I hadn't kept you? Is this all is too much to bear, gentle soul that you are?"
Rai sighed. "I am gentle no more. I fear I never was. But I will not surrender my arguments. It is not in my nature to do so."
"That's what I like about you."
Together in spirit, they ran towards Sebaiya. Rai felt stunned that Vida had not only spared her but had come to like her. Moreover, Rai was beginning to discover, beyond a healthy fear and respect for Vida, an understanding and sympathy for Vida's point of view. Sharing Vida's skin for only a few days had already shifted her perspective. How much farther would Vida be able to push her before Rai broke completely?
Chapter 22
Sometime later, Ponar was roused from sleep by bright lights. He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, and looked out upon a solitary Juggernaut observing outside his cell. This one had a gleaming white sigil, and his body was broader, taller, and bulkier than the others. Feeling every part a prisoner and not wishing to earn any ire at this early juncture from his presumptive captors, Ponar stood and walked to the open door.
"I trust you are well rested?" the Juggernaut asked.
A courteous question, was this how all questionings began? "Yes, I am well rested."
"Good. Let us walk."
Ponar hurried to keep up, but he managed. Soon they exited the zoo and entered a sitting room of sorts. There were large, flat couches in a semi-circle opposite a series of full-wall screens. Flat short tables in the middle held an array of both local and off-world foods and beverages. If not for the addition of technology and the difference in scale and shape of the couches, the room might even feel homey.
The Juggernaut climbed on top of a couch and motioned for Ponar to assume one across from him. Ponar did as directed, growing progressively befuddled.
"I am Assessor Brague of the Hegemony, on special assignment to Queen Klimitzi. You are honored to be in my presence. There are none other who outrank me on this vessel, or in this quadrant."
"I am, so honored, Sir."
"Ponar Durmah, I'm sure you are ill at ease right now, yes?"
"Of course."
"Let me assure you, my interest in you is ancillary to my main investigation. Once my questions are answered, you may return home to your family, or wherever else you wish on Az'Unda."
"That is quite a comfort, Sir."
"As it is meant to be. Feel free to enjoy the refreshments. They are intended to help you relax and to sustain you during our discussion."
Brague accessed integrated circuitry in one of his forearms and the scene from the forest replayed silently on the screens in front of them but from a third person angle. How he'd captured the scene, Ponar had no idea, but the images were perfection. He'd heard in school that the most superior technology was manufactured by the Juggernaut.
"I'm sure you remember this scene well?" Brague prompted.
Seeing his sister set him at ease, calming him more than he'd thought possible. "It's rather etched into my memory." Ponar served himself a glass of water, sipping slowly.
"I'm sure you do. It's not every day a pair of colonists comes face to face with the superiority of the Hegemonic Empire with no warning. And yet, your sister, Rai, that's her name, yes?"
"Yes, Rai Durmah."
"Yes, Rai, met me with no fear at all. She was, if anything, perturbed by my disturbing your personal discussion, wouldn't you say?"
"I do not think she meant to offend you, Sir. Your eminence. Please forgive her," Ponar stuttered.
"No, please, do not use such honorifics. Sir does quite nicely. And you cannot apologize for her. Among my people, although you would not know this and so I will forgive you this once, this is seen as an insult. We all stand alone, on our own merits or without them. She will answer for her transgressions, where any have occurred
. You cannot answer for her. You are responsible only for your own faults. And that day, you acted quite honorably towards the Hegemony, Ponar. You deserve no shame."
"Thank you, Sir," Ponar said, oddly pleased at the Assessor's praise. A brief wave of shame fluttered through his gut--this Juggernaut was his de facto captor. What value did Brague's approval mean, as seen through that lens?
"A simple statement. That first time we met within the forest, I noticed there were differences between you and your sister. I take it you are not from the same genetic pool? Explain how this has come to pass."
"Oh, Rai's a recent adoptee to the Durmah Sept, just a few months ago." Brague remained silent, so Ponar continued. "We'd petitioned for another addition to our Sept, for help running our Waystations. We're always expanding and needing more help. Besides waiting for more children to grow up, it's another way to expand our Sept."
"So she's not of your genetic strain?" Brague helped himself to a drink as well, something translucent and blue. "Was she taken from another Sept?"
"No, the other Sept gave her up."
Brague stilled. "Why?"
Ponar shifted uncomfortably; how to best answer so he didn't upset his host? If Brague had been a human, Ponar would have been better able to guess his reactions. As it was, he had no idea if the behemoth was simply curious or enraged.
"She was found barren by the Temples; unable to bear children. It was within the rights of her birth family to shun her and focus their resources on their productive members."
Brague swayed his head, which Ponar took as a sign of agreement. "In a small colony such as yours, an inability to breed would indeed hold a significant social stigma. Every barren member could be viewed as a missed opportunity for the society to grow and prosper. Even so, you must know your colony's efforts do not flourish?"
"I am not privy to the details, Sir." But Ponar wasn't surprised. The cities and schools were not growing and or as full as promised, that much any fool could see.
Dreams Manifest (The Depths of Memory Book 2) Page 17