by Dana Monahan
Since the day she came to say goodbye, he had wallowed in his fair share of self-pity. Plenty of women had shared his bed since then in his futile attempt to purge her from his mind, but his heart remained firmly in Billie’s clutches. But being a part of her life, even just as a friend, would have to be enough. He was ready to accept that. Curbing his urge to beg her to come home with him, Brad released his hold around her when he heard Brody step out on the porch. Glancing over her shoulder, his eyes met Brody’s and a sort of mutual understanding passed between them. They were both in love with her and Brody was well aware of the emotions churning inside him.
“How long are you guys going to be able to stay?” She asked Brad and included Trent with a hopeful look.
“I’m already packed.” Trent nodded to the duffel bags in the back seat and stepped over to embrace her. “I just wanted to see you home before I took off. Be a good girl,” he warned her and gave her fanny a good swat. After shaking hands with Brody and Brad, he drove off.
“I’m afraid I have to go, too.” Starting up the stairs, he stopped before Brody with hand outstretched. In a low tone, he said, “Take good care of her.”
Brody nodded. “Keep in touch.” Turning away, he went inside to give them a moment alone.
Standing before her again, Brad pulled her close and placed a light kiss on her forehead. Cradling her head in the nape of his neck, he inhaled the familiar scent of her. In each other’s arms, they stood in silence, neither of them wanting to say goodbye. “I love you, Billie,” Brad whispered in her hair before turning away. Without a backwards glance, he hopped in his truck and drove away.
Before returning into the house, Billie took a moment to speculate on her relationship with Brad. She had loved him, still did, but not exactly as a friend or as a lover. There was a crazy place in-between that would bond them together, forever, yet keep them apart. Because of this unusual emotion that bordered friendship and love, their reunions would always remain bittersweet.
The sound of music brought Billie out of her musings. Turning her attention to the house and the man waiting for her inside, she closed the distance between them. During her short stay in the hospital, they hadn’t had a moment alone to explore the intimate turn of their relationship. This time she would not run away. Squaring her shoulders, Billie entered the kitchen to face Brody.
There he was, leaning against the counter in that arrogant, leisurely way that was so his style. His stance was lax enough, but Billie could see determination in the tightness of his jaw and dark eyes, as if he were ready for a confrontation.
“Where are Kelly and James?” She asked lamely, trying to erase the sudden tension between them.
“They stopped by. We’re supposed to go by their place for dinner, later,” he answered, - then became stubbornly silent. Billie realized he was waiting for her to make the move. Even though he wasn’t pushing the subject, she knew without doubt if she tried to avoid it he would press the issue.
“I think it’s time that we talked,” she said, standing before him. Crossing his arms over his chest, he just lifted a brow and waited for her to continue. He was watching her so intensely, his eyes boring into hers, she almost stuttered. The speech she had prepared in her mind dissolved under his penetrating stare and she went blank. Struggling for composure, as he waited patiently, she blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “I was thinking that we could live together for a while, see how it works out.”
“Is that right,” he chuckled, but his expression remained serious. “You mean a sort of a lease option to buy type of thing.”
“No,” she stated defensively, stepping back to drop into the wooden chair. Her wound was healing and the stitches beginning to itch. Rubbing against her bandage in frustration, she avoided his eyes. “I’m sorry about running out on you that night. Look, I’m scared, okay. I don’t want to go through another failed relationship. The way I feel about you Well, I’ve never felt it before. If it didn’t work out between us, if something came between us, I couldn’t bear that.”
“Billie,” he said, waiting for her to look at him before he continued, “I don’t know how to make this romantic, so I’ll just tell you how I feel straight up. Even though you can be a pain in the ass, I love you, and I’ll always be here for you. The ranch is my work, but instead of making you accept my long hours, I want you to be a part of them. You’ll always be first with me.” Pouring out his emotions wasn’t easy, but after nervously running his hand through his hair, Brody awkwardly kneeled down before her. “I want you to be my wife, Billie. I want our children running through the house and I want you to wake up beside me every morning for the rest of our lives.”
As Billie watched him in stunned silence, Brody held his breath for her answer. While he waited, it shocked him to realize how much he needed her in his life, not just loved, but needed, and for the first time he knew what it was like to be scared of failure. As he watched her aqua eyes glittering with tears, he reached in his back pocket and pulled out a little black box and held it out before her.
With trembling hands, Billie reached out and opened the small case. The brilliance of the diamond solitaire against the black satin left her breathless, but it was the man before her that made her pulse race. “Yes!” Lowering herself from the chair into his lap, she straddled his hips and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I love you.”
Chapter 24
Eight years later
“Good Morning, Mommy.” Jessie bounced on the bed and giggled when Billie rolled over with sleepy eyes. “It’s the first day of summer in the year two thousand, I know because Daddy just told me. And guess what else?” Dropping down on her knees, she crawled over and curled up beside her mother. “Matt’s coming over. He’s going to watch us while you guys go play without us.”
Grinning back, Billie looked into the eyes so like her own and spiraled one of Jessie’s long black strands around her finger. “What about Mick? Is he coming with his brother?”
Billie chuckled just thinking about Kelly’s boys. At thirteen, Matt was already taller than his mother, handsome with his father’s good looks and, for the most part, a responsible kid. He handled Jessie’s infatuation like a real trooper, treating her as if she were his pesky little sister. Mick, on the other hand, was a little hellion, but cute as could be. Full of chaos and loaded with character, Brody would always say.
“Big deal, he’s just a big baby.” Rolling her eyes, Jessie puckered her full lips in distaste. “Matt just turned thirteen.”
“He’s eight. That’s two years older than you,” Tawny pointed out, strolling into the room to crawl in bed on the other side of her sister. Other than having dark eyes and inheriting Billie’s cocky smile, the girls looked exactly same with just under two years between them. “She just doesn’t like him because he teases her. Jessie, Jessie, you’re so messy.” She taunted her sister in imitation.
“Shut up, brat.”
“I’m not a brat!”
“Are, too.”
“Am not.”
Brody jumped into the room causing the girls to squeal in delight, pulling the covers over their heads. “Where are they? I have a whole stack of banana pancakes downstairs. I guess we’ll just have to eat them.” Brody stepped over to the bed to kiss his wife. “Hello, gorgeous.” Upon hearing his voice so close, the girls started to squirm in excitement. “There are my beauties.” Brody yanked the blanket back and tickled them both until they cried out for him to stop.
“I want to ride downstairs on your shoulders, Daddy,” Jessie cried out.
“Me, too,” Tawny added, not one to be left out of anything.
Dressed only in jeans, Brody pulled his daughters onto his shoulders giving Billie a wink before leaving the room. Although they had been married for seven years, the sight of his biceps and bare chest could still make her heart skip a beat. With a happy sigh of contentment, Billie pulled herself out of bed to take a nice warm shower.
A few hours later, Billi
e stepped out on the verandah with a glass of ice tea. Wispy clouds dotted the sky, but the sun touched warmly on her cheeks. Sounds of laughter reached her from the side of the house, and she walked over to see her two girls running through the sprinkler. Brody was close by brushing down his Arabian mare, nicknamed Red. He must have felt her eyes on him, because he looked up and Billie waved him over. On his way over, he stopped to cool off under the sprinkler.
“I just talked to Kelly. She’s waiting for James, he took the boys fishing. They’re due back anytime,” Billie said when he approached her.
“What about Brad and Trent?” He shook his wet hair sending a spray of water in Billie’s direction.
Billie shook her head, frowning. “Not yet. I hope they didn’t forget.” Meeting his eyes, she smiled sheepishly. “You know I had a dream last night that I was at the cross and Scamp came up to sit beside me. It’s weird that I never saw her again after that night when she saved my life.” After Trent laughed at her in the hospital, she had never mentioned again her strange belief that Sierra and Scamp were somehow connected. All these years later, she still remembered feeling Sierra’s presence before she had passed out.
“Wild dogs move on. I’m sure she has had a good life.” Placing his hands over hers, he pulled her close to nibble on her lower lip. “By protecting you, she saved my life, too.”
Billie deepened the kiss before pulling away. “I’m going up there a little early. I’ll go kiss the girls and meet you up at the rock in a little while.”
On her walk through the wildflowers, Billie wondered about Brad and Trent. It had been three years since she’d seen either of them for a visit. Trent always called at Christmas and birthdays, sending extravagant gifts, and although she didn’t see him she could always read about his latest antics in the magazines. His football career was in full swing after signing another phenomenal contract and in a leading magazine he was recently quoted as being one of America’s most eligible bachelors.
Brad’s calls were more sporadic, but came at least twice a year. His uncle had retired in ‘96, leaving Brad in charge of the construction company. In a few short years, he had expanded it and with a few referrals from Trent and with his own expertise, he was now considered the best in his field by the Hollywood scene. At thirty-one, he was still unmarried like Trent and neither of them in any rush to settle down, but Billie hoped someday they would find the same happiness that she and Kelly enjoyed.
EPILOGUE
The simple noises of nature become hushed as Billie steps into the clearing. Two blue jays resume their squawking when the fear of danger is past. Unaware of the small living creatures around her that she has disturbed, she glances thoughtfully at the spot that had been her childhood hangout. Smiling fondly at the rocks and grooves that have served as chairs, and hearing the steady harmony of the waterfall, she wonders how it could all look the same when so much has changed. Her lovely features wrinkle into a frown when she sees the cross, a reminder of happy childhood times gone by. Two simple sticks bound by twine signify the tragedy that has changed so many lives. Would everyone remember the pact made so long ago? Has their friend-ship really meant something, enough to bring them all together again?
After picking some wild flowers, she goes to the makeshift grave and kneels down to place the fragrant bouquet of blossoms. A long familiar howl reaches her from the mountains above, sending a shiver deep into her bones despite the hot summer sun and bringing a wistful smile to her face.
Twigs snapping underfoot signal another arrival. Billie watches as Kelly enters the clearing.
"It’s amazing how clear my memories are when I’m here. I still can’t believe she was murdered like that,” Kelly says sadly, nodding toward the cross. “We’ve been through so much together.”
“I just try to focus on the good times.”
Together they laugh and cry over the memories as the long-ago echoes of children’s voices whisper to them from the past.
As the sounds of hooting and “hollering” reverberate through the mountains, Billie and Kelly stop reminiscing to watch Trent burst through the clearing.
“Yes. I’m still the man,” he quips dropping an ice chest. He wiggles his hips and dances around as if just completing a touchdown.
Seconds later, Brody and James break through the clearing in a tie, each with a twelve pack dangling from their hands, with Brad a hairs-breadth behind them carrying a picnic basket and towels that he sets down.
Bracing his hands on his knees, Brody takes a few deep breaths and smiles at Brad. “It looks like the good life is making you soft.”
“You know it!” he says between breaths and grabs two beers out of the pack dangling from Brody’s grasp, handing him one. “I don’t have any kids to keep me in shape.” Brad casts a quick look of regret in Billie’s direction before wiping the sweat off his brow, and then deposits the rest of the beer in the ice chest.
James drops to the dirt, draping his elbows on uplifted knees. He pulls out a cold can, wiping it against his inflamed cheeks. As an afterthought, he pulls another one out and tosses it to Trent, who isn’t even winded, and scowls when Trent jumps up and catches it with his hand behind his back. “Show off,” he mumbles.
“What a bunch of wimps. You’d think they ran a marathon or something,” Trent teases, stepping over to give Billie and Kelly a hearty hug. “You both look edible and fat free. What a combo,” he says, admiring their tan legs and fresh looks with a dramatic wiggle of his brows. He nibbles on Kelly’s neck. “Let me know when either of you’re ready to dump the old men for a young stud like me.”
Kelly giggles. “You’re still as obnoxious as ever, but I’m glad to see you.”
“Just because you run faster doesn’t mean we can’t kick your ass,” James tells him, pulling up to his feet.
“Now, now, don’t get yourself all riled up. I bet the ticker isn’t as good as it used to be.” Trent smiles smugly with Kelly and Billie under each arm.
James chuckles and looks at Brad and Brody. “He’s an annoying little prick, but I admit he grows on you.”
“Yeah, like a wart,” Brody adds dryly. “Let’s pay our respects, toss these back, and go swimming.”
Billie and Kelly give Brad a warm hug before the guys grab more flowers and place them with the others at the cross. Each of them takes a moment to mourn the beautiful black haired girl who had been a part of their lives and carried the scar of their friendship on the palm of her hand.
Twenty minutes later, they have all climbed the various grooves to the top of Devil’s rock. All of them are older now, experienced in the joys and pains of life; yet, it seems as if they have stepped back in time at this place that has guarded and retained so many childhood memories by remaining the same. For a short time, they can forget their responsibilities and become the carefree children of their youth.
“Who’s going in first?” Trent asks casually while bending over to take off his sandals.
“You are,” replies Brad with a slight shove. As Trent goes over, he turns and grabs Brad by the arm and they take the plunge in tandem. Trent lands hard on his back, and Brad follows close behind with a belly flop. They both surface spitting out water and moaning in pain.
“It wasn’t supposed to happen like that. In all my dreams of pay back, you always fell down alone,” Brad sputters, and the two of them engage in a splashing fight.
“Just like old times.” Kelly grins down at Brad and Trent, raising her voice slightly to be heard over the waterfall. “It’s too bad Sierra couldn’t be here with us.”
“Maybe she is,” Billie says, mysteriously glancing up to the mountains, before leaping into the water below.
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Sitting on a peak high in the mountains, a lone black dog sits silently and watches the reunion below. After a long howl, she silently raises herself and slowly disappears into the clouds, rumored to be the home of angels.
uts like a knife