At the end of the corridor stands another door, bloody handprints staining the pale wood. Taking a deep breath I push through. Its pitch-black inside. A torch flicks to life behind me, illuminating the room. I glance at Sam, letting my rifle dangle at my side as I rush to a cabinet against the far wall. The circle of light follows, shining over my shoulder and revealing shelves and shelves of medicines.
I pull open the glass doors, my fingers moving across each shelf as I scan the bottles. Many of the drugs I recognise but some are unfamiliar even to me. I reach for a white bottle, a distant crash snapping my head to the door. Sam swings around, panning the beam of light to the door. I hold my breath, blood roaring in my ears as the deafening silence presses in on all sides. Not daring to move an inch I strain against my buzzing ear drums, waiting for what seems an eternity for the sound of danger. When it doesn’t come I turn back to the cabinet, grabbing bottle after bottle of antibiotics, shoving them into every available pocket and handing some to Sam when I run out of space.
“Let’s go.” I whisper, striding from the room. I’m more than ready to get the hell out of here. The snapping and barking greets us as we step back into the long room of enclosures but this time it doesn’t shock me. The animals in here are not the ones to fear. With purposeful steps I cross the room, keeping my gaze dead ahead.
Sam overtakes me, gun raised and ready. A whimper to my left halts my footsteps. Squinting through the gloom I can just make out a shivering figure, a tuft of fur peeking out from behind a large metal locker. Lowering myself to a crouch I hold out my hand, coaxing with gentle words that are drowned out by the racket of the other animals.
“Louisa what the hell are you doing?” Sam hisses. I ignore him.
“Come on little guy.” I coo. Sam hisses once more and I raise a hand to silence him. “It’s okay, you can come out. I won’t hurt you.” Large eyes peer from its hiding place, entire body shaking as it sizes me up. Sensing Sam’s urgency I reach a little further until my hand is inches from its nose. Plucking up the courage to lean out it sniffs at my fingers, warm air blowing gently across my palm. Soft and wet it runs its tongue along my fingertips.
“Louisa, we don’t have time for this.” Sam yanks at my jacket but I wrench free, reaching forwards until my hands wrap around protruding ribs and matted fur. The dog doesn’t fight me, it’s frame vibrating as I tuck it into my chest. “No. No way.”
He shakes his head but I’m already striding past, the little dog folded inside my jacket. It’s starving, nothing but flesh and bone. There’s no way I’m leaving it here to die. Not when I can give it a chance at life. Sam can protest all he likes but the dog is coming with us. He curses at my back but I take no notice, ready to get out of here and back to Kyle.
A low growl rumbles from the shadows. My steps falter, causing me to freeze as a pair of eyes stare out from the darkness. The scruffy bundle shakes violently against my chest, warmth soaking my shirt.
“Sam. Keep still.” My lips barely move but my warning is clear. Sam stops, gun raised, swallowing audibly. The growl deepens, morphing into a snarl as the huge Doberman stalks into the fading light, teeth bared as thick drool pools at its feet. Tightening my grip on my terrified pooch I dig into the back of my mind for anything I know about animal behaviour. Maintaining eye contact I take a slow step backwards. Sam takes my lead, his footsteps slow and controlled. The dog snarls, its stance coiled and ready to attack. Sam keeps moving until he’s beside me, eyes flicking towards me for instruction. I swallow, backing away slowly even though my mind screams at me to run.
“Whatever you do, don’t turn your back.” I mutter, every step painstakingly controlled, my heart hammering in my chest as it begs me to flee. The dog stalks forwards, mirroring every step we take, feral gaze fixed and just waiting for us to make a mistake. To show fear. To smell it as it coats our skin.
The bundle in my arm lets out a terrified whine and the dog lunges, springing on coiled limbs. Sam fires, gunfire ricocheting off the walls, illuminating its snapping jaws. I take off, sprinting as fast as I can, knowing in the back of my mind that we’ll never outrun it. Another gunshot precedes a yelp but the scraping of claws continues, thundering paws joined by the sound of another and another. They spring from the darkness, falling in beside their companion, joining the hunt.
I throw myself through an open door, slamming it behind Sam as he dives in after me. We don’t bother to barricade it, dashing for an adjoining door at the other end of the room. Sam shoulders it open as the other door caves, splintering and cracking beneath the weight of the pack. My legs burn, thighs screaming as I race behind Sam, barrelling through door after door as the pack closes in with their teeth gnashing in anticipation of the kill.
Sam slams a door behind me, shoving at my back as we run for the reception, grinding broken glass beneath our boots. We don’t stop running until the refuge is just a dot on the landscape, chests heaving and limbs burning. Sam stops, resting his hands on his hips as he sucks in lungfuls of air. Dropping to the ground I take a deep shaky breath and unwrap the scruffy creature from inside my jacket. It’s still trembling, bulging eyes gazing up at me. I set him on the ground but he climbs right back into my lap, soft tongue brushing against my chin.
“What the hell was that?” Sam snaps.
I return his glare. “What was what?”
“That” he thrusts his finger at the tiny creature. “What were you thinking?”
I set the dog down and climb to my feet. “I couldn’t leave it there to die. You saw those things they would have torn him apart.” Sensing Sam’s anger, the dog climbs onto my feet, emaciated body pressing firmly into my shins.
“We can’t keep him.” He folds his arms across his chest, as if his word is law.
Scooping up the tiny creature, I cradle him to my chest, blowing out an irritated breath as I stalk away from Sam. “Well if you think I’m leaving him to fend for himself you are sorely mistaken.” I don’t wait for his reaction. He can bluster as much as he likes but the shivering animal pressed against my chest is staying and nothing is going to change my mind.
….
When we burst back through the doors of the farmhouse Drew leaps from his seat and races towards me, steps faltering and eyes wide when he sees the bundle in my arms. I shake my head, not in the mood for another scolding. They can haul me over the coals later. Right now, I have a job to do. Setting the dog down I pull a bottle of pills from my pocket, flipping the cap and shaking the pills into my hand. Kyle is barely coherent, shuffling on weak arms until he’s slumped against the cushions.
“Here take these. They’ll make it better I promise.” I pop them on his tongue, accepting the bottle of water Drew hands me and lifting it to his lips. It spills down his chin but the majority makes it into his mouth. He sputters, choking on the tablets as they wash down his raw throat. Leaning back on my haunches I stare at his feverish skin. “How has he been?” I ask aloud.
“Much the same. The fever got worse about half an hour ago.” Drew replies. Over my shoulder I see him running his hands over the dishevelled pup as it presses against his legs, eyes fixed firmly on Sam who scowls at it from the back of the couch. Sighing I lift myself onto the coffee table and coax the dog towards me. It skitters to close the distance, jumping into my lap and snuggling in the protective cocoon of my arms. Drew raises a brow.
“It was at the refuge. I couldn’t leave it there.” I tickle behind its ear and it shuffles closer.
“Is it staying?” Natalie asks, voice timid.
“No.”
“Yes.”
We answer at the same time, throwing daggers across the room. The tension spikes, respective arguments simmering beneath the surface of our glares. Ever the mediator, Drew stands, placing himself between our murderous stares with his palms up in a placating gesture.
“We can discuss what happens to the dog later. Right now, we need to take care of Kyle.” He shifts his gaze between us. I nod, willing to put the topic on
a back burner. For now. Sam huffs, walking to Drew’s side and leaning around him to look at me.
“If anything happens to him because of that damn dog, I’ll never forgive you.” And with that he’s gone, front door slamming behind him. We stare at the empty space, nobody knowing what to say to fill the unease he has left in his wake.
Over the next week I continue to administer the antibiotics, avoiding Sam as best I can. Which isn’t difficult considering he leaves a room whenever I enter. His snubs hurt more than I’m willing to admit but I’m not about to back down. This little animal deserves a shot at survival just as much as we do.
Dog, as we’ve decided to name him, scampers around the yard, yapping as he chases anything that moves. Kyle watches him with a weak smile. The infection is clearing but the drain on his health is abundantly clear. He’s tired more often than not, the colour in his cheeks inching back in slowly.
“He’s starting to look like a real dog.” Kyle smiles, chucking a rock across the yard. Dog tears after it, little legs pumping. He’s started to fill out, ribs no longer protruding though he still has a long way to go. A warmth fills my chest as I watch him tumble over, claws scraping at the gravel as he bounds back to Kyle, tongue lolling and tail wagging furiously.
“Yeah, soon he’ll be nice and strong and we’ll have another companion on our journey.” I say it with a confidence I don’t feel. I’ve yet to tackle the topic with Sam and when he won’t even look at me its proving difficult. Kyle chucks another rock, shuffling on his stool to look at me.
“Sam’s mad huh?”
I scoff. “Understatement of the century.” I sigh, picking at a blade of grass. “He just doesn’t get it. A dog can be a real asset, especially now. It can guard us while we sleep, attack if we’re cornered. The pros massively outweigh the cons.”
Kyle smirks. “That’s not why you saved him. Because he’d be an asset. You saved him because you’re a good person Lou. You saved him because it was the right thing to do. You saved him like you saved me.”
A flush spreads up my neck, washing my face with scarlet. I have no response to that so I throw another rock for Dog, avoiding Kyle’s admiration. Footsteps crunch against the gravel, drawing our attention. Sam crosses the yard, scowling as Dog dances around his feet, yapping happily. Out of the corner of my eye I see Kyle grin and bite back a smile of my own. Sam comes to a stop and Dog flops at his feet, soft belly exposed, long tongue hanging from his open mouth as his tail swishes the gravel from side to side.
Sam grunts. “You need to come inside now Kyle. Natalie’s making lunch.” He avoids my gaze and I sigh, pushing to my feet and dusting off the seat of my pants. Kyle struggles to stand, favouring his left leg as he begins the long hobble back across the yard with Dog trotting beside him. Sam turns to follow and I call his name. He keeps walking, broad shoulders rippling with tension.
“Sam” I shout his name again, firmly this time and he pauses, gesturing for Kyle to continue. I close the distance between us until we’re face to face. He stares right over my head but that’s fine, I don’t need him to look at me for this. “How long are you going to punish me for?”
His jaw clenches, eyes narrowing but refusing to look at me. I rest my hand against his arm and he steps away, my hand swinging back to my side. “Sam…”
“You asked me to trust you.” He finally looks at me and I wish he hadn’t. Where I expected anger, I see nothing but hurt and it slashes into me, splitting me in two. “You told me to trust you and then you threw it back in my face. While my brother lay dying you risked his life knowing what would happen if we didn’t make it back in time.”
“But he’s fine...”
“You didn’t know that. You said it yourself that every second we wasted, Kyle was closer to surrendering to the infection but you risked it anyway…” he runs a hand through his hair. Guilt gnaws at my insides. “I’m not punishing you I just… I can’t forgive you. Not yet.” He steps around me, boots crunching as he strides away.
I spin around. “Will you ever?”
He stops. Sighs. His shoulders lift in a weary shrug before he closes the distance, stepping inside the house.
Appetite evaporated I walk away from the house, not in the mood for company. Climbing the fence, I slip into the fields, wanting to be alone with my remorse. All this time I thought he was just mad but seeing the betrayal in his eyes, the resentment it has left behind, its opened my eyes to the trust I have destroyed. Our relationship was rocky from the start, but a friendship built on trust began to blossom and I’ve ruined it. Whatever impression he had of me before is ruined and it’s all my fault. I destroyed the confidence he had placed in me and no matter what I do, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fix it.
Lowering myself into the grass I brood over my actions, the wonder of the sunset not lost on me as the sun dips toward the horizon. It stains the clouds a fiery red, blending into shades of pale pink and purple before the obsidian of the night envelopes me. Stars blink into existence, anticipating the arrival of the silvery orb that bathes the world around me in a milky glow. It is unfathomable to me how such beauty can remain in a world so consumed by death and decay. How the world can fester and crumble away but nature continues to flourish, reclaiming what we took, taking back what we have destroyed.
“There you are.” Drew drapes a jacket around my shoulders and sits beside me, stretching his legs out in front of him, worry rolling off him waves so palpable I can sense its presence. “He’s going to forgive you, ya know. It’s just gonna take some time.”
I tear my gaze from the night sky, lowering it to my hands in my lap. “I’m not so sure. You didn’t see his face.” Drew shuffles closer, placing a comforting arm around my shoulders and drawing me to his chest. At first, I stiffen but eventually surrender myself to his warm embrace, the tension in my shoulders ebbing away as I listen to the gentle rhythm of his heart.
“You did what you thought was right. You have a good heart Louisa and you shouldn’t be ashamed of that. If you had walked away and left that animal to die, you wouldn’t be you.” He pushes me away, lifting my chin with his finger until our gazes are level. “This world, the present that we live in, it changes us in ways we never thought possible but the goodness in you…don’t ever let it go. It’s who you are.”
Thank you. I mouth the words because my voice is lost. He smiles, pulling me into a hug as I weep against his shoulder, tears saturating the fabric of his shirt. We stay that way, stars glittering overhead as I weep for what can’t be changed. The ones I can’t save. I weep for the world. For those that I have lost and those I still stand to lose.
Most importantly, I weep for myself.
Eleven
- Own Worst Enemy -
“I’m happy to grant you with a clean bill of health” I grin as Kyle woops, dancing against the sofa cushions as I roll down his pantleg and pat his knee with affection. As I stand I point a finger at his face, summoning my best motherly impression. “But from now on no more climbing. If I catch you within two feet of a tree, I’m going to kick your arse. Understood?”
“You’re the boss.” He grins and jumps to his feet, whistling to Dog who jumps up from his makeshift bed, tail wagging with excitement. I smile as I watch them go, gathering up the redundant bandages and turning towards the kitchen. The smile falls away as I meet Sam’s eye, my insides squirming. I freeze, scared to move in case it scares him away.
“So, he’s okay?” he asks, tone deadpan. If it weren’t for the flicker of emotion in his gaze I would find him cold. Clearing me throat I step around him, dumping the contents of my hands into the bin, rubbing my sweaty palms against my jeans. Inhaling deeply, I turn back to face him, working hard to keep the sadness from my expression.
“He’s fine. The antibiotics did their job and the wound is healing nicely. He’ll be back to normal in a day or two.” I want to apologise again but I know he’ll run away, not wanting to hear my requests for forgiveness anymore. I press my lips toget
her and lean back against the counter, waiting and praying that he’ll say more. That we can repair the damage.
“I’m sorry.” He begins. I blink. “I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. You did everything you could for Kyle and I’m grateful for it.”
I blink again, too afraid to speak, fearing that whatever I say will crumble the unsteady truce he’s offering me. When the silence between us becomes too much Sam drops his gaze, turning to walk from the room.
“Sam…” he turns back. “Thank you.”
A smile that doesn’t reach his eyes quirks his lips. Drew strides into the kitchen and pauses between us. Sam offers him a nod as he escapes out into the yard. The breath I was holding stutters in my chest and I drop my head into my hands, running them through my hair as I exhale.
“Have you two made up?” he asks, crossing the distance and climbing onto the worktop beside me. I shrug.
“I wouldn’t say we’re best of friends or anything but it seems for now he’s declared a ceasefire.” I inhale a shuddering breath, blowing it back through my nose as I rest my head against Drew’s arm. “When did everything get so complicated?”
He laughs, smoothing my hair. “Around about the time the world ended.”
I smile. “Oh yeah, I keep forgetting about that minor detail.”
The back door opens. I lift my head as Natalie stomps inside, closely followed by Kyle and Dog. I frown at Natalie’s retreating back, raising a questioning brow to Kyle who shrugs, jumping up to sit on the island and kicking his feet against the cupboard door. Dog jumps up, scrabbling at his shins and yipping loudly. I bend and scoop him into my arms, leaning my face away from his soggy attack. Drew chuckles, hooking a finger to scratch under his chin.
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