by Louise, Kara
"I cannot believe any man would say such things in a proposal of marriage!" Jane stated bewildered. "What kind of man would do this?"
Elizabeth’s large brown eyes looked away as if in deep thought. She arched one eyebrow and she replied slowly, "I believe it would have to be a man who was very sure of being accepted."
"Mr. Darcy had to believe you would accept him. He had to have been so sure of himself, that he gave no thought to his words or how he spoke them! Think of it, Lizzy, any woman would not have had the slightest hesitation in accepting him, if but simply for his fortune."
Upon hearing these words Elizabeth suddenly looked down, wringing her hands. Jane quickly added, "Not that I am saying you should have accepted him. But imagine how he must feel! He must be so hurt and humiliated!"
"I would not concern yourself with Mr. Darcy," Elizabeth sighed. "I do not believe he will suffer much by my refusal." She chuckled apprehensively. "It has been over a week. I am sure his regard for me is all but forgotten."
"I simply do not understand. Were you ever persuaded of what his feelings were for you?" Jane asked, shaking her head the whole time, trying to comprehend what her sister had just told her.
"I had not an idea of it. Every conversation we shared frequently resulted in sharp words. We could barely carry on a civil exchange for more than a few sentences. You are as surprised as I am, Jane." Elizabeth smiled at her sister.
Jane then gently took her hand. "It is not that I am surprised he asked you, Lizzy. I am surprised because he seemed to think us all so decidedly beneath him. He always appeared to me to be wishing he were anywhere else but here in Hertfordshire."
"That he did."
"What was he like at Rosings? Did you notice any peculiar regard there?"
"We had our share of strained conversation there, as well. At times he appeared very uncomfortable. When I first saw him, I was of the opinion he was definitely not happy to see me. His cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam, was very open and friendly, but Mr. Darcy seemed very withdrawn and uncomfortable. His coming to me with an offer of marriage was the last thing I would have ever expected from him. But Jane, you must promise not tell a soul of this. You are the only one who knows!"
"Oh Lizzy, you know I would not!"
Elizabeth sighed and looked down at her hands that now gripped Jane's tightly. "Jane, there is one more thing that came out from all of this."
"What would that be?" asked Jane anxiously.
"He wrote a letter to me after I had refused him. He presented it to me the next morning." Elizabeth looked up. Jane was staring intently, hanging on each word.
"In it, he told me what really happened in his dealings with Mr. Wickham; how Mr. Wickham had deceived us with his story about him. Jane, it was actually Mr. Wickham who betrayed Mr. Darcy and his family."
"No!" whispered Jane. "You mean Mr. Wickham fabricated his story?"
"Yes, I imagine he did it to suit his own needs; to make us look favourably on him and unfavourably toward Mr. Darcy."
Elizabeth went on to share with her sister the unfortunate circumstances regarding Wickham; in particular, his brazen actions toward Miss Darcy. As she shared this with Jane, she became more and more appalled that her attitude toward Mr. Darcy had been based mainly on the deception of one who had been determined to ruin him. She felt more and more remorseful of her attitude toward him in this area. How could she not have discerned the truth earlier?
Jane's face showed her distress over this news. "I cannot believe that he had fooled us all! Are you quite certain that Mr. Darcy did not misconstrue the events? Perhaps both of them simply have a mutual misunderstanding."
Elizabeth looked at Jane and with a reflective air stated, "There is but such a quantity of merit between them; just enough to make one good sort of man." Elizabeth let out a deep sigh. "I am afraid one has got all the goodness, and the other all the appearance of it."
The realization of her words penetrated Jane, but her thoughts took her to Charles. Her expression of astonishment at once turned to heartache. Tears filled her eyes and she looked down quickly. Elizabeth reached out and touched her arm, "What is it?"
"On proper reflection, I must conclude that Mr. Darcy had all the admiration and Mr. Bingley had only the appearance of it." With that, her breathing became soft sobs.
"Jane, I know that is not true! I am convinced that Mr. Bingley has all the regard for you that one can possibly possess." Elizabeth tried in vain to reassure her sister of Charles' true affections.
"Forgive me, Lizzy. I did not mean to…" She could not finish her sentence as she struggled to regulate her tears.
Elizabeth drew her sister into her arms and hugged her tightly. "There is no need to ask forgiveness, dearest Jane. I do not claim to understand any of the events that transpired over these past few months." She was distressed to see the prolonged hurt in her sister and know that it was caused in part by Mr. Darcy's own doing. She felt her stomach knot, as she felt the anger that she had toward him again flare.
Since she had been apprised of the truth in his letter regarding his dealings with Wickham, she struggled with consistency in her feelings toward Mr. Darcy. In that area her anger had diminished towards him. But she could not let herself forget the other provocation. There was still the issue of his inexcusable interference in Jane's and Bingley's relationship. This distressed her gravely.
Jane leaned over and kissed her sister. "Lizzy, I want you to know that I do respect you for your decision to refuse Mr. Darcy. You did what you felt you must; what you knew you had to do! As much as Mama would have expected you to be grateful and accept such a proposal, I know too well that you could not be persuaded into marriage with such a man!"
"Thank you, Jane. It does make things easier knowing you understand. Please, whatever you do, do not let Mama find out about this. I would never be able to live in the same house with her again if she knew I refused yet another proposal; and from a man worth ten thousand a year!"
Jane laughed in the midst of her tears. "That is so true! Would she not be completely undone! Well, it is getting late. Good night, dear sister. I am so glad we are both home again."
"Good night, Jane. I am so glad to be back and have you to share things with again!"
As Elizabeth slipped into bed, she was welcomed by her own sheets, her own pillow. As she laid her head on her pillow and reached back to plump it, she made a determined resolution. She would do whatever she could; do everything in her power, to get Jane back together with Mr. Bingley. Feeling somewhat satisfied by this decision, she drifted off into an uneasy sleep.
*~*~*
The next day arrived too soon for Elizabeth. She had slept fitfully through the night and now all she wanted was to remain in her cosy bed and sleep the whole day through. The sun crept in through the window, beckoning her with the notion that since it had arisen, so should she. She lay in bed a few minutes longer, looking around her room, savouring the feeling of being home again. Her eyes went to the window and out to the grounds that lay beyond.
She suddenly thought of her walks in the beautiful grounds at Rosings, and how, on more than one occasion, she unexpectedly encountered Mr. Darcy. She had assumed they met by accident, but now she wondered, could he have purposely sought her out? He never truly made any effort at conversation as they continued to walk together, and she often felt his accompanying her had been out of politeness. Now, she could not be certain.
She thought back to how different he was at Rosings than in Hertfordshire. At the latter he had been stiff and formal, arrogant in his countenance, abrupt, and distant. Yet at Rosings he appeared unsettled, disquieted, and uneasy. He did not have the arrogant air about him that he had earlier. When he walked with her out in the grounds, she recalled how he often looked at her with a manner of kindness. But that he was often so quiet, she took his behaviour to be strictly out of forced civility. He had been different there, but not enough to give her any reason to believe him enamoured with her.
&nbs
p; The beckoning sun finally had its way and she arose. She dressed quickly and joined her family downstairs for breakfast. Not being terribly hungry, she ate only a biscuit and a little fruit. Mrs. Bennet was discussing the need for some items from the milliner's shop in town and Elizabeth, anxious for a diversion, offered to walk into Meryton to pick them up. Jane enthusiastically offered to join her. Fortunately for them, their three younger sisters were otherwise engaged for the morning, so the two would have the sole pleasure of each other's company as they walked into town.
As they set out for Meryton, Elizabeth was again glad for Jane's company. How she had missed her these past weeks! Their conversation echoed much from the night before. Lizzy had to be careful what she said to Jane. She would not tell her of Mr. Darcy's interference in swaying his friend's regard for her. There would be no reason to tell her. So she guarded her words very carefully.
As they walked, Jane turned to her sister with a resigned look on her face.
Elizabeth returned her look with a sigh. "You are not happy, Jane. It pains me to see it."
Jane tilted her head to one side, as if to dismiss as irrational what she was about to say. "It is just that I am afraid I still prefer Mr. Bingley to any other man I have ever met. I do believe that he…" She stopped herself from continuing that thought. "Yet I am resolved to think of him no more. There! I shall be myself again, as if I had never set eyes on him." She looked at Elizabeth and steeled herself for her next words. "I will be perfectly content. Do not concern yourself with me."
Elizabeth heard her sister's words, but knew that within her heart it was a completely different matter. How she ached to make things right by her. Just how she would do it was yet unknown to her. She took her sister by the arm and gave it a reassuring squeeze. They walked the remainder of the way to town in silence.
The milliner's shop in Meryton was gaily decorated with ribbons and lace and hats. Elizabeth walked over to the lace handkerchiefs and picked one up. This one would look very nice with my initials embroidered on it, she thought to herself. It had a tatted edge and a cut out heart in each of the four corners. Jane purchased a few items and they stopped by a bakery for some fresh baked goods before slowly strolling back to Longbourn.
As they made their way back to the house, they saw a gentleman leaving on horseback. Neither of them was able to recognize him.
"I wonder who that was," Jane pondered aloud.
"I could not tell. Do you suppose he was delivering a post?" asked Elizabeth. "Shall we go in and find out?"
As they entered the house, there was great commotion, coming mainly from Mrs. Bennet.
"Oh, girls! Look what we just received!" She rushed over to them, putting her arm around Elizabeth and holding out a letter. "This is from a Georgiana Darcy; she is the sister of that fine Mr. Darcy."
Elizabeth looked quizzically at her mother. "What could she possibly want?" she asked, astounded with that news.
"She writes to you, Lizzy," her mother began.
"Mama, you read a letter that was addressed to me?" cried Elizabeth.
"I had no choice, as we had to give a reply to the carrier while he waited. We were not certain when you would return. But look, read what she says!"
Dear Miss Elizabeth Bennet,
With much anguish I must inform you that my brother, Fitzwilliam Darcy, was in an accident just outside of Lambton as he returned to Pemberley two days ago. The carriage in which he rode overturned and he sustained some injuries. He is under the care of our doctor here at Pemberley. We have been assured that he had no broken bones, but he has been unconscious since then and of this the doctor is concerned.
I knew that you would want to know, and I hope that I am not asking too much for you to come to Pemberley as soon as possible. Even though he is unconscious, he does occasionally call out your name and I wonder if you may be the only thing that will bring him out of this sleep. Miss Bennet, the doctor has not been overly optimistic concerning my brother's condition. It has been two days since the accident. As each day passes and he still does not regain consciousness, I can see the doctor becomes more gravely concerned.
We have also summoned his good friend, Mr. Charles Bingley, with whom I know you are acquainted. He is on his way here now, as well.
I would be exceedingly grateful if you would come. I have no doubt that you would most likely desire to be here and hope that arrangements can be made to bring you to Pemberley promptly.
Please reply as to whether you will be able to come and when you plan to leave Longbourn. I will arrange the coach from Pemberley to meet you in Lambton.
Thank you.
Yours, &c,
Miss Georgiana Darcy
"See, Lizzy, that fine gentleman, Mr. Darcy, has been calling out your name! You must go to him. Miss Darcy believes that only you can help him! I have sent back the reply that you and Jane will leave tomorrow morning and be in Lambton by the afternoon!"
Elizabeth looked at her mother in disbelief. "But Mama, he is not even conscious, not in his right mind, and calling out my name? I cannot believe it! His sister must be mistaken!" Elizabeth struggled to come up with a way to prevent this. She knew the only reason her mother would have agreed to this was that, in her mind, a man worth 'ten thousand a year' was asking for her daughter and that, even though he was quite ill, he was a very promising prospect as a husband for her.
"Now, Lizzy, you simply must go. I have replied that you would be arriving with Jane. When Mr. Darcy sees how well you tend him and how kind and giving you are, his affections will certainly be engaged toward you. And just think! Mr. Bingley will be there. Jane will be able to see Mr. Bingley again!"
Elizabeth suddenly stopped, realizing what her mother just said. Jane will be able to see Mr. Bingley again! A light began to flicker in her dark eyes. "I suppose it is a good idea, Mama." Elizabeth looked over at Jane, whose mouth suddenly dropped open. "Come, Jane, I think we must go ready ourselves to leave on the morrow."
Jane rushed to join her, stopping her by taking her arm. She whispered frantically, "Lizzy, I know what you are up to! You cannot do this! I know you are only agreeing to do this because of me!"
Elizabeth put her hand to Jane's mouth to silence her and prodded her to walk with her away from the gathered family. "I do not understand why Miss Darcy wrote me. If she only knew what really happened between Mr. Darcy and me! He is probably suffering nightmares about me and yet she must think he calls my name out of admiration or fondness."
Her thoughts went from Mr. Darcy to Jane and Charles. "Jane, I think this may be just the opportunity to bring you and Mr. Bingley back together; to find out for a certainty what his feelings are for you. I do believe Providence has dealt us a very interesting hand!"
Hope blending with a touch of fear filled Jane’s countenance. "But what if Mr. Bingley…"
"If it appears he no longer has regard for you, we will return home at once."
Elizabeth smiled at the situation that had presented itself to them. How ironic it would be to be at Pemberley, in Darcy's own home, that Jane and Charles would be brought back together -- right under his nose!
For Jane's sake, Elizabeth had to appear sure of herself. A grin overspread her face as she said, "Jane, I think Mama has done us an immense favour. Besides, what can we do? She has already sent the reply. It appears that we are going to Pemberley tomorrow!" The two sisters grasped hands and smiled. Jane's heart pounded as it had not done in months. The pounding in Elizabeth's heart suggested something entirely different, yet she was not sure what.
Jane moved to go to her room and ready herself for the journey tomorrow. She turned with a soft smile and said, "You know that Mama is not just expecting a proposal to come out of this for me, Elizabeth, but for you, as well. Would Mama not die if she knew that you had already received a marriage proposal from Mr. Darcy?"
"No, I believe she would simply faint. She would, however, die if she knew I had refused his proposal!" With that, both girls laughed uncontro
llably, spurred on by the nervousness each felt.
Elizabeth went directly to her room and sat on the edge of her bed, contemplating what this would mean for her. It would be quite awkward for her to face Mr. Darcy again. She knew that for a certainty. She had no way of knowing how long Mr. Darcy would remain unconscious. If… when… he awoke, she would definitely offer an apology to him for her misjudgement of his dealings with Mr. Wickham. She would, however, stand up to him again, in defence of her determination to bring Jane and Mr. Bingley together again. She was resolved to do it. She only hoped that they could remain at Pemberley long enough for Jane to determine Charles' true sentiment toward her.
Clothing and accessories enough for a week were packed for the sisters. They did not know how long they would be there. It could be for just one night if things turned out disastrously, yet there was always the possibility that they could stay longer. As she contemplated staying more than a few days, Elizabeth found herself thinking of Mr. Darcy and his injuries. He could be in grave condition, indeed. An apprehensive thought kept resurfacing. What if he never regained consciousness, as Miss Darcy so greatly feared?
She did not know whether the knots in her stomach were a result of concern for his welfare or her fear to face him again. She only knew that the remainder of the day and evening were very discomfiting to her. Her mother continually interjected her opinions on how the two of them should behave when they arrived at Pemberley, what they should say, and how they should sit, stand, and walk. Mrs. Bennet had settled it in her mind that they would both be engaged by the time they returned.
Mary had to express her concern that this was not a very proper thing to do, to allow her two unmarried sisters to go to the home of a single man and to have his single friend there, too. Even though his sister would be there, she was not of the opinion that this was at all wise.