by Louise, Kara
Elizabeth noticed the change to her formal address and she inwardly berated herself for saying something that would cause Georgiana to recall her inappropriate relationship with Wickham. But she would not let on that she knew of the particulars. "And how did he treat you in this situation. Was he very harsh on you?"
"Oh, no, never! He has always been so loving, so kind and forgiving. I just cannot bear to hurt him again…because of how it makes me feel." Tears began streaming down her face and she buried her face in her hands.
"You dear girl, I am quite certain that you do not have to worry about disappointing your brother. He thinks so highly of you. We all occasionally do things that are wrong, even your brother must have some faults." Elizabeth's mind went back to Netherfield, and her conversation with Mr. Darcy about his faults.
"Oh no, not that I can see. He is so very perfect."
"Georgiana, no one is perfect. And I am sure he does not expect you to be perfect either." Elizabeth tried her best to reassure her.
"He has always had such high standards for himself and he has them for me, as well. But Elizabeth, I do believe you are right. I do keep things to myself, so not to give others the opportunity to think ill of me."
"You said yourself that your brother is loving, kind, and forgiving. You must not fear his disappointment in you for something you might say or do. That would not be his character!" Elizabeth startled herself with her words about him.
"But what do I do? How do I change?"
"First, you must tell yourself that he will not judge you ill, neither will anyone else who is worthy of your concern. He loves you precisely the way you are! Then, to help you with conversations with others, perhaps you could keep a journal?"
Georgiana looked up at her quizzically. "A journal?"
"Yes," began Elizabeth, wondering at her own inspiration. "It would help you to write down things you discover; what you hear about people, or places, or things. Write down your thoughts and feelings. Then when you meet people, whether new acquaintances or old, write down what you learn about them. You can refer to your journal and have ideas on what to talk about when you encounter these people again. You may even ask your brother about certain places or things in advance and then write them down. I have found that writing things down does help me formulate my thoughts better and to remember them better, too."
Georgiana looked at Elizabeth with wide-eyed wonder. She suddenly, unexpectedly, gave her a big hug. A smile on her face gave Elizabeth all the assurance that she would, indeed, give this a try. "This sounds like a very helpful idea."
Elizabeth then added, "Now would be a very good time to start. You must have many feelings about what has been happening with your brother. Writing down your thoughts and feelings is also good therapy.
"Oh Elizabeth, thank you. I look forward to beginning right away!"
Elizabeth smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. She was not certain that this would help her, but at least Georgiana was willing to give it a try and it might help her keep her worries about her brother at bay. They turned to head back toward the house when they saw a barouche carriage coming up the road.
"Oh look," cried Georgiana, "it must be Mr. Bingley! Let us go meet him!"
Georgiana turned and in a stride that was between a skip and a run, she made her way down the path toward the house. Elizabeth turned to join her, grateful for the special time and bond that just transpired between them, but feeling the necessity to carefully, lovingly inform Georgiana of the truth of her and Mr. Darcy. Yet in her heart, she felt it was not yet the right time!
*~*~*
Jane had been watching out the window and saw the carriage arrive. It pulled up to the house and the door was opened for Charles Bingley. The Pemberley servants rushed outside and met with his coachman and valet and helped him with his belongings, bringing them into the house. Bingley glanced about him, always amazed and impressed with the grounds and house that was Pemberley.
Jane's heart nearly leapt out when she first saw Charles step down. How handsome he still looked; how terrified she felt now that the moment was here.
As he entered the house, he surveyed the scurrying of servants attempting to make his arrival smooth. As he looked beyond them, he noticed a woman standing off to the side. He suddenly stopped, feeling somewhat unstable as he wondered whether his eyes were betraying him. No, he realized it was Jane! He could not get his feet to move toward her, he only stood, staring while trying to comprehend the situation.
Each looked upon the other with many unanswered questions. Jane was trying to determine whether the look on his face displayed joy or displeasure in seeing her. Charles was overwhelmed with feelings rising to the surface that had been repressed, but was also wondering what she was doing here!
He finally gained control of his senses and a smile broke through as he took himself immediately to her side.
"Miss Bennet!" he exclaimed. "How good it is… how good it is to see you again!" His exuberance was all Jane needed to be finally relieved of all the anxiety she was feeling this whole day. "Excuse me, but is your family well?"
"Yes, thank you. And yours?"
"Splendid!" he murmured. He took her hand and held it, "How long it has been since we have seen each other! It has been, I believe, almost five months!"
"Has it been that long?"
"Yes, I believe it was November twenty-fifth, at the ball at Netherfield!"
The servant bringing in Bingley's luggage walked over and told him they would be putting his things in his usual room. He only nodded, not taking his eyes off Jane. "It is good to see you!"
"Mr. Bingley, there is something I need to talk with you about, privately."
He looked concerned, and suddenly realization swept across his face. "Oh, no! It is not Darcy! Has he…?"
"No, he is still the same. But it involves his sister."
"Miss Darcy?"
"Yes."
He stepped aside with her, away from the bustling servants. "What is it?"
"You may wonder what I am doing here."
"To be honest, I was."
"It is really all because of a misunderstanding that we have not yet been able to remedy."
"A misunderstanding?"
"Yes. Apparently Miss Darcy believes that Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth are engaged! She wrote to us of his accident, believing her to be engaged to be married to him and felt she would want to know of his condition and be here with him!"
Charles let out a hearty laugh as he heard this. "You cannot be serious! Mr. Darcy and your sister engaged? How could she have ever come to that assumption?"
Jane looked down to her hands and then back to Charles. "Mr. Darcy did make an offer of marriage to Elizabeth when he encountered her while visiting his aunt at Rosings, but she turned him down. He had sent off a letter to Georgiana before he proposed to let her know he was going to ask for her hand. The accident occurred before he was able to inform her of Lizzy's refusal."
Suddenly Charles' face clouded over. "I am afraid I do not understand. This is all too peculiar to me. Why, Darcy was so hard on me about…" He looked at Jane and did not finish his thought. "So Miss Darcy understood her brother to have asked for your sister’s hand, but was unaware that she turned him down?"
"Yes. We came here unaware of this misunderstanding and have not let her know because of the hope she put in Elizabeth that she could bring him out of the state he is in. We do not know what to do now, when we should tell her."
"And there is no change in Darcy?"
"No."
"I would suggest we not say anything yet, at least until we know something more of his condition."
"The doctor is in with him now. He should be coming out fairly soon."
With that, Georgiana and Elizabeth appeared at the front door.
"Oh, Mr. Bingley! How good it is to see you!" Georgiana went to him and he reached out his hands to greet her. As he took her hand, he pulled her towards him and gave her a sympathetic hug.
&nb
sp; "Miss Darcy, if there is anything I can do to help you and your brother, please advise me."
"Thank you. I am just so grateful you came!"
"Mr. Bingley, it is good to see you," added Elizabeth, smiling warmly.
"And you, Miss Elizabeth. What a pleasant surprise this has been, to discover that you and your sister are here!"
The party went into the sitting room, deciding to wait there until the doctor came out. Elizabeth felt a great burden lift as she watched the interaction between her sister and Charles. They certainly were continuing where they had left off. Georgiana watched the two in delight and with a little confusion, as she had not been aware of the fact that Mr. Bingley had any affection for anyone, let alone Miss Jane Bennet.
When the doctor came out, his only encouraging words were that his patient had not changed for the worse, he was holding his own. He encouraged everyone to continue to speak to him, stimulating his senses, trying to get through to him wherever he was deep inside. He assured Georgiana he would return the next day or at a moment's call.
Charles asked Georgiana if he could go in and see him with her. She took him back to the infirmary while Jane and Elizabeth visited and waited. Elizabeth smiled at her sister. "I do believe he was happy to see you, Jane."
"Do you really? I feel so much more relaxed, having seen him and now that the first meeting is out of the way."
Elizabeth leaned forward and in earnestness said, "Jane, may I suggest something to you? Let him know, without any reservation, how you feel. Do not leave him in any doubt of your feelings."
Jane blushed and said, "You know I am more reticent in that area, but I shall make an effort!"
Charles came out after awhile, obviously shaken by what he saw in there. "He is so altered; I cannot believe he is the same man! Come, Miss Bennet, I feel the need for a walk and some fresh air. Would you care to join me?"
Elizabeth suddenly found herself alone and after a while, felt the need for fresh air. She decided to go for a walk herself and after looking out to see which direction Charles and Jane had set out, she set out in the opposite direction. This time, without Georgiana, she was able to take in the sights and sounds of Pemberley. The lake and stream that ran through the woods around the house boasted crystal blue water. The trees and flowers suggested a natural, yet lovingly tended appearance. She felt as if she could walk for miles around here!
When she finally returned to the house, she found Charles and Jane in the sitting room. She greeted them and then announced that she would be going to her room to freshen up. Upon ascending the stairs, she heard some music coming from somewhere ahead. She had not yet ventured out beyond her and Jane's room, and ventured forth, feeling drawn to the music.
She came to the end of the hall and turned, finding herself facing a magnificent, long hallway. It was lined with portraits on either side, presumably of people on the Darcy side of the family. She stopped and looked at each one, reading their names and dates, trying to determine who each one was. She saw Mrs. Anne Fitzwilliam Darcy and gazed into the kind eyes of the woman looking down at her. Could this be Mr. Darcy's mother? She was very beautiful and Elizabeth thought she would have liked to know her.
Next to her was a painting of Mr. Frederick Evans Darcy. Elizabeth believed for a certainty that this was his father. She could see the resemblance; he had the same dark eyes and dark curly hair.
She next came to the painting of Mr. Fitzwilliam Richard Darcy. She breathed in deeply, seeing on him a broad smile that had only on a rare occasion graced his face in her presence. She thought of the man lying downstairs, comparing him to the one in this picture and then comparing those two completely different men to the one she knew. How puzzling this man was!
Becoming aware of the music again, she walked toward it, glancing from right to left at pictures lining the hall. When she came to the door from which the music was coming, she stopped, seeing that it was Georgiana playing at the pianoforte.
How beautifully she plays! thought Elizabeth, who quietly stayed where she was, so not to disturb her.
When Georgiana finished, Elizabeth exclaimed, "Georgiana, that was simply beautiful!"
The startled and somewhat embarrassed Georgiana quickly looked over and saw her standing in the doorway, watching her. She blushed and said, "Oh, it was nothing. I was just practicing. I find that the music helps me… take my mind off my concerns. This is what gives me strength."
"And it was beautiful. I wish I could play like that!"
Georgiana tilted her head and looked at Elizabeth with a look of reflection in her eyes. "You know," she said softly, "My brother often quietly comes to the door… just as you did… and listens to me play without me knowing. How often he would startle me, as you have just done."
Elizabeth smiled, although with a bit of discomfort, as she answered, "I do not doubt that he enjoys your playing as much as I did."
"He wrote me once of how much he also enjoyed hearing you play. He said he received much pleasure from your playing and singing."
Elizabeth felt herself flush and quickly responded, "I am sure he exaggerated. I play very ill, indeed."
"My brother rarely exaggerates, Elizabeth. I should like to hear you play. Do you mind?"
Before Elizabeth could answer, Mrs. Reynolds came in and apologized for interrupting. "Miss Darcy, something has arisen that we need to discuss. The nurse has been called away to help Dr. Brisby with a difficult labour in town. Apparently it is beyond the ability of the midwife, and his other two nurses are unavailable. If we have to, we know where we can send for her if anything arises, but we must keep someone with Mr. Darcy throughout the night until she is able to return."
"Thank you, Mrs. Reynolds." Georgiana looked at Elizabeth for support.
Elizabeth reassured her with, "We will be down immediately and discuss how this is to be done. Come, Georgiana."
They met downstairs and planned out two-hour intervals to stay with Mr. Darcy until a nurse returned. Even Mr. Durnham, Mr. Darcy's valet availed himself of some time. He had been principally staying in his quarters nursing his broken ankle, but now felt he could venture out on his crutches and help at this time.
Everyone but Jane, who still felt inadequate to place herself inside that room for any length of time, offered to sit with him. Elizabeth was to replace Georgiana from the eleven o'clock hour to one in the morning. She was to be replaced by Durnham, then Winston, and then Bingley after that.
The threesome visited in the sitting room, while Georgiana spent most of the evening in her brother's room. Elizabeth visited the Pemberley library and spent a good amount of time looking through the vast collection of books there. If she could have spent a year here, she would have barely touched the surface in reading the books she desired to.
She picked one up and brought it back to the sitting room to read. She noticed Jane and Charles were still very attentive to each other and Elizabeth smiled as she saw more regard on Jane's part than she had in the past. She was obviously taking Elizabeth's advice to heart.
Elizabeth was soon involved in the book she was reading and was surprised at how quickly the time had passed when Georgiana came out and asked her if she could relieve her. Elizabeth could see the drawn look of fatigue on her face and encouraged her to get herself right to bed and try to get a good night's sleep. "Please do not worry about your brother tonight; he is in good hands."
Georgiana smiled and wished everyone a good night.
Elizabeth picked up her book and set out for her two-hour sit with Mr. Darcy.
At first, she was content to just read silently from her book until she recalled the words of the doctor. Try to stimulate his senses. She decided to read aloud to him. She thought that would be easier than to try to carry on a one-sided conversation with him. This would be the next best thing.
Elizabeth began reading. Occasionally she would glance over at him as she read and make some silly comment about the book, ask him whether he was enjoying the story or was he bo
red with it, or suggesting that perhaps he had already read it before himself.
After a while, he began to stir a bit. She noticed his breathing became more laboured. She put the book down and watched him. She saw that his face had become more flushed, he was perspiring heavily. She put her hand to his forehead. He was burning up! Since the accident he had been running a mild fever, but this appeared to be very high. She looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was ten minutes before one o’clock. Durnham should be coming soon. She would have him find someone to go for the doctor as soon as he came in.
Elizabeth went over to the sink that was in a room adjoining the infirmary and filled a basin with water. She found some cloths and brought them over to the side of the bed where she dipped one into the water and wrung out as much water as she could. Taking the cool, damp cloth, she applied it to his forehead, face and neck. She knew that she needed to cool his body down from the outside, to try to lower the fever that was ravaging him on the inside. Concern gripped her, not knowing what brought on this sudden rise in temperature. She repeated this procedure over and over again.
Finally Durnham hobbled in on his crutches and Elizabeth quickly apprised him of the situation. "Please send someone to find the doctor and tell him that Mr. Darcy has a very high fever. If you are able, please return soon and help me with him."
"Should I summon Miss Darcy?"
"I do not want to wake Georgiana yet, as she needs her sleep. Let us wait a bit before we do that."
"I will fetch Winston, and then be back right away!" Elizabeth was grateful that he was able to use his crutches with ease.
She felt herself trembling as she applied the cloths, wondering if it was lowering his fever at all. Occasionally he thrashed about, startling Elizabeth with each violent movement. He began to moan, unintelligible sounds, but at least they were sounds. In her heart she hoped that this meant he was coming back to them, but she also knew it could just be the result of delirium from the high fever. His nightshirt was becoming soaked with the tremendous amount of perspiration.