by Louise, Kara
Georgiana’s face reddened in alarm. "Richard, you were not aware of this?"
"Oh, no, but I knew something was wrong with him and I suspected it had to do with Miss Bennet. I am just surprised that he actually proposed to her. I had no idea he had such strong regard for her. But then you say she refused him?"
Georgiana nodded, now wondering if her brother would be upset at her for letting their cousin know.
"Is this not ironic?" Fitzwilliam met Georgiana's concerned eyes, and quickly reassured her, "Do not worry your little heart Georgie, I will not let on to anyone else about this misfortunate incident of his. I am sure he would not want that bit of information spread about the country."
"But why do you say is ironic?"
Fitzwilliam laughed. "He has always had it so easy, always getting anything he wanted. I used to wish he had an older brother just to make life a little more difficult for him. Being a second son, he would have had to work a little harder to get what he wanted. In a way I resented him for it, as much as I loved him." He raised his eyebrows at Georgiana and said in a sympathetic voice, "But now, when there was something he really wanted, he actually could not get it. I am quite amazed!"
He sipped on his tea, and then looked back at Georgiana. "But you said she came. Why would she have come?"
"She actually came with her sister, Jane, with the hope of reuniting her with Mr. Bingley. I sent for him, as well. I now understand my brother had earlier done some underhanded persuasion to disincline Mr. Bingley toward her sister when they actually were both very much in love."
Fitzwilliam put his cup of tea down, and looked down, breathing in deeply. "Heavens, no!"
"What is the matter?"
"Well, I suppose part of Miss Bennet refusing him is my fault."
"Your fault? Why?"
"I met Miss Bennet on a walk on the grounds of Rosings Park the day before we left. We began talking of Bingley, and I conveyed to her the fact that your brother was very self-congratulatory about his separating him from a young lady who would have made him a very imprudent wife because of her connections. I had no idea I was talking about her sister."
"What did she do? What did she say?"
"As I recall, she claimed she had a headache and we returned directly. She did not come with the rest of her party to Rosings later that afternoon, and Darcy promptly disappeared. When he returned later, his behaviour was erratic and I could tell he was disturbed. He must have gone to propose to her that afternoon, fresh after I talked to her. Little did I know by that innocent conversation with her, I was sealing his fate!"
"I would not take too much blame, Cousin. There were other reasons -- other than that one -- that strongly affected her decision to refuse him. But it is all very complicated. I am not sure I understand it myself."
Fitzwilliam and Georgiana spent the rest of the afternoon visiting with each other. He thoroughly enjoyed hearing about Darcy's misfortunes, and only wished he had been at Pemberley when his cousin awoke and found Miss Bennet there. Georgiana always enjoyed her cousin's company. He had a ceaseless supply of laughter, laughing enough for her and her brother together. But the degree to which he enjoyed her brother’s misfortune began concern her.
That evening as they were settled in the sitting room, Fitzwilliam made a boisterous confession to Georgiana. "Georgie, you have certainly made my day! I have not had a more enjoyable time talking to you about your brother!"
"Please be kind to him, Richard. I fear that if you are hard on him, he shall be angry with me for revealing it."
"Do not worry my Georgiana. I shall only tease him a fraction of the amount I usually do, being considerate of his broken heart and recent illness, of course." With that he laughed.
"That does not ease my mind at all, Cousin. Besides, he is making an effort to change his ways. He and I visited a few of our hired hands this past Sunday. We have plans to do it again this Sunday and hopefully the week after."
"Visits, you say? Did he actually step inside their homes?"
Georgiana proudly nodded.
Fitzwilliam let out a hearty laugh. "Oh, I can scarce imagine Darcy visiting the homes of those of lesser consequence. I dare say that does stretch one's imagination trying to fathom it."
Still chuckling from this last bit of information, he rose and said he would be retiring, and looked forward to more conversation on the morrow.
Georgiana informed him, "I will be spending the morning with Miss Annesley, but the afternoon should be free. I would like to hear about your family tomorrow, Cousin."
"Oh, but that would be so boring! But I shall oblige you. Good night, Georgiana."
*~*~*
The next afternoon, Georgiana heard all about their holiday and how his family was doing. She was quite aware, however, that he was still keen on hearing more about Darcy, as he kept bringing it up. She finally resolved that she would say no more to him, afraid that what she already said was too much.
By the third day, he had given up trying to get her to talk more about the incident between Darcy and the lovely Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Georgiana spent the afternoon listening for the sound of the carriage, and finally, just before the evening meal, they heard it pull up. They both stood, in anticipation of welcoming back Darcy.
Darcy stepped out of the carriage to see Georgiana and Fitzwilliam coming out to him. He extended his hand in a firm handshake to his cousin, expressed his gratefulness that he had been able to come. He walked over to Georgiana and greeted her with a fervent hug.
Darcy had always been able to anticipate his cousin's thoughts and actions by simply looking upon his face. The look on Fitzwilliam’s face now gave Darcy much concern. There was a mischievous and knowing look in his eyes and a smirk on his face that had no end.
The three entered the house and Darcy asked, "When did you arrive, Fitzwilliam?"
"The afternoon you left. I am sorry I missed you. I did not take the time to write. I felt coming immediately would be quicker than a letter, as we had been gone for some time and just returned home."
"And have you and Georgiana had a nice visit?"
"Oh, yes, a very informative one too." Darcy met his glance, noticing his raised eyebrow and the smirk, which had now turned into a sarcastic grin.
"All right, Fitzwilliam. You look like you are just itching to torment me about something. Let us get it over with."
"Ah hah! It has been quite the highlight of my life just to hear the incredible story of the Don Juan Darcy and the elusive Miss Bennet. It has been my night time story for the past two evenings, putting me to sleep very nicely. I believe Georgiana has another instalment this evening.
Georgiana looked down and blushed, wishing he would not go on like this.
"Go ahead; get it out of your system, Fitz."
"Darcy you are too serious! You take yourself too seriously. I do not doubt that learning to laugh a little more -- learning to laugh at yourself even a little -- would greatly improve your disposition."
"Fitzwilliam, I do not need you to point out all my faults."
"All your faults? I have not even begun!"
"When you have finished, let me know. I have some business I want to discuss with you. I shall be in my study when you are ready."
His cousin had always been this way, prodding him and teasing him, when Darcy absolutely hated to be teased. Yet the two had an inseparable bond. It may have been because of the difference in temperaments that they were so close, each filling the void in the one that the other had. Darcy shook his head in amused exasperation.
Georgiana regretted more and more the fact that she had let their cousin know all the details about her brother and Miss Bennet. She knew that once Richard began his relentless teasing, it would not cease. A look of remorse swept across her face that Darcy did not miss. As he turned to go into his study, he reached over to Georgiana and pulled her close. He looked down and smiled, and tousled her hair, to reassure her that he was not displeased with her.
As Dar
cy left for his study, Georgiana pulled her cousin back. "Richard, may I talk with you? I cannot help but agree with you about my brother's solemn disposition. In fact, I believe we are both of like dispositions in this area. I wish he would laugh more, but I know not how to begin to bring about such a change in him.
"Georgiana, why are you suddenly trying to alter your brother?"
She looked down and blushed. "It is just something I feel inclined to do. But tell me, why do you suppose he is so serious? I do recall when I was a child that he was a cheerful, spirited boy."
Richard's face softened. "Georgiana, when your mother died, Darcy took it very hard. His father was very strong in how he dealt with it, and Darcy felt he must be strong also, holding all his feelings inside. I believe he was hurting terribly and had no one to help him through his grief. Then when your father died, that added to the grief he had never dealt with."
Georgiana's eyes welled up with tears. "And I suppose having to take on the responsibility of raising a young girl contributed to it even more."
Her cousin put his arm around her. "Georgiana, please do not blame yourself for Darcy's temperament. He is who he is because of himself. If he wants to change, he will change. He can make an effort. I have seen him lively enough in situations that I am assured he has it within him. As a rule he just chooses not to show it."
Fitzwilliam lifted her chin to look up at him. "And Georgiana, I do believe you, also, have it within you. You are a charming girl, with an engaging smile and a gentle laugh that could prove to be quite contagious to your brother. I trust that the more he sees you laugh, the more he will begin to laugh. And maybe, just maybe, we can get him to laugh at himself!"
Chapter 12
Ever since Bingley had returned from London, Elizabeth found herself longing for Jane's companionship. Her sister spent a great deal of time with him and his sister at Netherfield. Elizabeth was grateful that Jane had the disposition to smile sweetly at Caroline's disdainful manners, but as Elizabeth did not have the graciousness to do the same, she stayed away as much as possible.
Her time apart from Jane, however, gave her ample time to work on the needlework sampler that she was stitching for engaged couple.
She picked up the sampler, looking at the work she had finished. It was about three-quarters completed, and she was pleased with the neatness and precision of her stitches. She thought to herself, This is Jane's life - neat, precise, orderly. The sampler contained a verse from the Bible, "Delight thyself in the Lord and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart." She felt it was so appropriate for the two. Yes, they certainly had been given the desires of their heart.
The words of the verse were enclosed in a burgundy heart made of laborious french knots. Flowers of many types and colours were woven inside and outside the heart coming off of green stems. At the bottom of the sampler she would embroider their names and the date of their wedding.
She turned it over to the back to tie off a colour of thread. She laughed as she looked at the sampler from the back and thought to herself, This is my life! Disorderly… loose threads hanging… not leading anywhere… all tangled together. At this point in her life she was not sure what the desire of her heart was. But if the thoughts that had been assailing her lately had been any indication, the who of her desire was someone who most likely had no intention of ever renewing his address to her.
With little prospect of anything that might cheer her these past few days, she became intent on finishing the sampler. So preoccupied was she with her work and her thoughts, that she barely noticed the entrance of Kate, one of the Bennet maids.
"A letter for you just arrived, Miss Elizabeth, from Miss Georgiana Darcy."
Elizabeth excitedly reached for the letter. "Thank you, Kate." She quickly opened it and began reading. She smiled as she could imagine the young girl actually speaking the words that were written on the page. As Elizabeth read how grateful Georgiana was for all she had done, she began shaking her head in mock protest. Then she laughed aloud as Georgiana went on in the letter to say she was sure that Elizabeth was at that very moment shaking her head in objection. She knows me too well! thought Elizabeth.
She reread the portions about Darcy. As she read each sentence about him, she was drawn back to those few days when she was in his midst. She reached out with her finger and ran it over his written name. When she finished, she folded the letter back and held it close to her heart. She did not know if she was more touched by Georgiana's warmth or her words of her brother.
"I must write her back directly!" thought Elizabeth aloud.
She put her needlework down and drew out some stationary and pen. Now, what to write! She looked at the blank sheet of stationary, and words began pouring out from her and she quickly wrote them down.
Dearest Georgiana,
How pleased I was to receive your letter. I have thought often of you since returning to Longbourn and wondered how you were doing. It appears from your letter that you and your brother are doing well. I am grateful he is so well recovered.
Here at Longbourn we have been busy, of course, with wedding plans. Mr. Bingley was in London for most of the week, and Jane and I spent much time together making plans for their wedding. Now that he has returned, I see her rarely. I must admit that I miss her and know that once she is married, things will be different. I am saddened by the thought of how things will change for us, but I am still very pleased for her. She and Charles are very happy!
I am delighted that you are keeping a journal and find it beneficial. I can tell you from personal experience that when I have gone through a difficult time, a journal was what I often found useful to help me sort through my feelings. There was many a time when I would write down my thoughts as they poured from me, not truly making any sense. But then later when I read it, I could more accurately determine what I was feeling at the time, and even decide on a course of action to take to help me get through it.
I am also pleased that you are enjoying this extended time with your brother. I am very much aware of your high esteem of him, and I know that this must bring great joy to you; both his full recovery and his presence there with you.
I cannot help but to joyously anticipate your visit next month. And I shall, if you insist, play and sing for you. Please do not hold your expectations too high, I am not as proficient as you are. But as you played for me, so shall I play for you.
Georgiana, I concur with you, that the first letter you sent to me must have been providential. So much came to pass because of our coming to Pemberley, I cannot imagine what things would be like if we had not come. So again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Most of all, having the privilege of making your acquaintance was one of the highlights.
My family is anxious to meet you, as well, as I have often spoken of you to them with great admiration. We shall look forward, then, to you and your brother coming. Our family sends you both their warmest greeting.
With fond regard, Elizabeth
Elizabeth reread it, wondering if her comments about Darcy were too revealing, too personal. No, everything in it was fitting. She sealed the envelope and put the address directions on the front. She decided she would walk it into town herself to post it.
She found her father in his library and let him know what she was going to do. "Would you not prefer one of your sisters to go into town with you?" he asked. "Your two youngest sisters are always looking for an opportunity to go into Meryton."
"Yes, but they are not as anxious these days with the militia gone. I think I shall prefer to go on my own."
"Very well, dearest Lizzy. Do not be gone too long."
Elizabeth left the house with her letter in hand and stepped outdoors greeting the warmth of the summer day. It had been days since she had gone out on one of her walks; she was grateful for the solitary ambience. It gave her time to stroll leisurely and gather her thoughts. She reflected back to her walks at Rosings Park and her encounters with Darcy there. She secretly wished tha
t there was a chance that now she would encounter him; walk past some tree or outcropping and find him standing there. But no, it would still be some weeks before he would come.
The thoughts and feelings that intruded caused her to both wish and fear his presence. She wanted another chance to treat him differently; to treat him as she ought to have done all along. She wanted another chance to show him that her feelings toward him had changed. But did she dare take that risk? Did she dare put her whole heart into this, as there was yet the chance that he would still carry much resentment toward her?
As she walked along, she heard the sound of horses coming from behind and walked over to the side of the road. She stretched out her hand and let it slide against the trunk of a tree as she strode past, pulling it along a long branch and gathering some of its leaves in her fingers along the way.
The carriage came alongside her and abruptly stopped. A voice called out, "Why Miss Bennet!"
Elizabeth turned and saw that it was Caroline Bingley. She nodded her head, "Miss Bingley." She looked at the direction of Miss Bingleys eyes to the gathering of leaves in her hand and quickly dropped them, wiping her hand against her dress to rid them of the bits and pieces that remained.
"I see you still enjoy long, solitary walks. How pleasant you must find them!"
Elizabeth looked down and bit her top lip. She finally looked up and smiled. "Yes, it gives me time to reflect and think."
"Yes, I am sure it must be required of you to get out of your household in order to have the peace and quiet that enables one to think clearly."
Elizabeth took a deep breath, knowing that she was snidely commenting on the excessive and often loud behaviour of her family. She politely refrained from making the response that came to her mind.
"I understand that you were quite the heroine for Mr. Darcy at Pemberley a few weeks back. I am sure he must feel very indebted to you."