by Louise, Kara
He was behaving most congenially. He did not have the sternness and reserve he had before. Elizabeth credited it to the civil behaviour of all those in her house. That her mother was behaving in a dignified way had her completely bewildered. Darcy was having far too easy of a time this evening. She knew her father could be very dignified, Bingley was his best friend, and her Uncle Gardiner was very distinguished, at least in her eyes.
Elizabeth stood to the side of the ladies, finding it difficult to participate in the conversation. Jane, who had been politely sitting with Bingley's sisters, came and joined the group. Elizabeth was grateful, as she needed the diversion, and apparently Jane had noticed.
"Lizzy, you are uncommonly quiet this evening. Are things well with you?"
"Oh, yes," she answered.
When she did not elaborate, Jane took advantage of the quiet. "He seems different, does he not?"
"Who?" asked Elizabeth, knowing full well about whom she was talking.
"Mr. Darcy, of course. Have you noticed how he appears to be a different man? I believe Charles must be correct about him."
"Jane, I am not convinced. The evening is still quite young."
"Are you not being a little too harsh on him?"
"No, I think not. He confirmed over and over again his arrogance and conceit when he was here last. I will not allow him to convince me otherwise in one evening spent with a small group of people, most of whom are actually being quite well-mannered." That last thought had her completely mystified.
"I think you may be a little too harsh on yourself, also."
"What do you mean?"
"I think you are afraid to trust your feelings. It is very apparent to me what your feelings are, and you are not giving them any credit."
Elizabeth blushed at her sister's words and did not answer. Jane turned to join in the conversation with her aunt and mother.
When Elizabeth turned back to take note of Darcy, the party of men had dispersed. She looked around and did not see him. She tried to join in the conversation going on about her, but found herself wondering where he might be.
After a while, she saw him re-enter the room. As he walked back in, he saw her eyes upon him. She quickly looked away, feeling colour rising to her cheeks. Her aunt peered at her through the corner of her eyes, looking then to the man who appeared to bring this all on.
Darcy walked over to Bingley, who had rejoined Jane and her mother. She watched him as he interacted with her mother, waiting for that moment when she would behave in a way that would drive him to the furthest part of the room. But her mother did not comply.
She suddenly had an idea that would truly test whether Darcy had changed.
Elizabeth excused herself, walking past the two Bingley sisters and Mr. Hurst. She walked into the dining room, going directly to Mr. Darcy’s seat. She looked down at the place cards and thought to herself, This will never do! Seated between Bingley and Mr. Gardiner; across from Georgiana and me. No! This would be far too easy for him!
She quickly did some rearranging, placing him to the right of her mother at the far end of the table, and next to Mr. Collins. Now we shall see the true character of Mr. Darcy and how he behaves when my mother's real behaviour is inevitably exhibited, along with our faithfully odious Mr. Collins!
With this little bit of tomfoolery behind her, she walked back out into the room once more. As she came in, she saw Darcy was now standing off by himself. When he saw her walk in, he began walking slowly toward her. Their eyes met and locked as he closed the gap between them.
Just as he was about to take the final long stride and reach her, and her thunderous heartbeat was pounding loud in her ears, the Collinses were announced. Elizabeth looked quickly at Darcy, and excused herself to go greet her good friend. Introductions were made and Elizabeth was able to secure her friend's arm and take her off to one side.
"Charlotte! It is good to see you! How have you been?" Her hands shook slightly and her face flushed with colour.
"Oh, Lizzy. I am just so glad to be here. It had been most dreadful the past few weeks at Rosings."
"Oh, dear. What is wrong?" She looked to Mr. Collins, wondering what he may have done to upset Charlotte, or even worse, Lady Catherine.
"A few weeks ago Lady Catherine visited Mr. Darcy at Pemberley. She claims that he behaved in the most rude, offensive way towards her; even demanding that she leave his home. He refused to let her stay. Unsurprisingly, it has been very unpleasant to be around her. She was not the least bit pleased that we were coming here, knowing he would be here. My husband has been most perturbed about the whole thing, feeling it is his duty to set Mr. Darcy straight on the matter. I have tried to convince him to stay out of it. I think… I hope he will behave, as long as he does not come into too close contact with him.
At these words, Elizabeth thought of the dining room table and gasped. She truly believed that if Darcy had ordered his own aunt out of his house, it had to be for a good reason. She did not want to put him through that much torture, bearing Mr. Collins’ unreasonable tirades from his aunt.
"Charlotte, excuse me. I must attend to something directly."
Mr. Bennet’s words halted Elizabeth, "Let us adjourn to the dining room. Now that the last of our party has arrived, I believe we can eat." Everyone was quite eager to go in and find their seat.
Unfortunately, Elizabeth was toward the back and could not sneak in ahead of everyone, as she wished. When she entered the room, Darcy was ahead of her and she watched him walk around to the one end of the table where Bingley was seated. He took hold of the chair he had originally been placed at and looked down, suddenly taking note of the place card. Glancing at it again, he turned a puzzled gaze slowly down the length of the table. Elizabeth suddenly felt mortified as she realized he must have been in there earlier and seen where he was initially to be seated. He looked up and could easily see in Elizabeth's expression that she was the one who changed the seating arrangements.
As he walked down the length of the table, Elizabeth noticed him tense. He looked down at the place card for Mr. Collins and next to it was his. He looked to his left and saw that he was seated next to Mrs. Bennet. He took his seat, very gravely looking straight ahead.
Elizabeth quickly found her chair and slinked into it, not being able to look at him at all. Georgiana came and found her place next to Elizabeth. When Bingley and Jane walked in, he noticed Darcy at the far end and exclaimed, "That is odd," but said nothing more when the Hursts and Caroline sat down beside him.
Georgiana was pleased to be seated next to Elizabeth. She had not had the opportunity to really talk with her this evening. When Georgiana seated herself, Elizabeth discovered something terribly distressing. When she looked at Georgiana, Darcy was directly in her line of vision, and she could not look at her without noticing him.
As Georgiana expressed her joy again at meeting her family, Elizabeth tried to concentrate, but found her eyes focusing beyond the girl to her brother. He had a very solemn look about him. She took little pleasure in the truth that this would certainly be a test for him. She suddenly felt very remorseful for her impulsive, immature actions as she watched the scene take place before her eyes. Mr. Collins arrived to find that his place had been set directly next to Mr. Darcy.
Mr. Collins came to his place at the table and as Darcy turned to greet him, Collins very uncivilly uttered, "Mr. Darcy, I am afraid I do not come with greetings from your aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh. She is most distraught, and I am sure you must know the reason for her distress. I feel it is my duty to…"
Charlotte quickly came around and, gently nudging her husband away from Darcy, picked up her place card and switched it with his, placing herself next to Darcy. She then quickly pulled out the chair and sat in it, pointing to the chair next to her for her husband to take. Elizabeth breathed a sigh of relief, as at least now, he would be spared some discomfort.
Charlotte smiled apologetically at Darcy and turned to her husband to distra
ct him from going any further with his intended rebuke.
Elizabeth noticed Darcy’s hand upon the table, nervously rubbing his thumb and finger together. When he looked over at her and saw that her eyes were upon him, he quickly stopped and picked up his napkin, placing it in his lap. He took a deep breath and felt the urge to reach into his pocket to finger the handkerchief. But he would not. That would now have to cease. He would no longer find comfort in this ritual that had taken him through the last two months.
He looked over at his other table partners and felt as though he should make some attempt at conversation, but at this point he was really not in the mood. It was very obvious to him what had happened. He had walked through earlier and seen that he was placed to sit across from Elizabeth. He looked forward to the meal and being able to spend it in conversation with her. But he had seen her come out from the dining room earlier. She must have moved his place card down to the far end of the table, as far away from her as possible, so she would not have to endure his company during the course of the meal.
He felt a strange discomfort that took away most of his appetite. He looked at his sister who was so enjoying Elizabeth's company. As he watched her, he met Elizabeth's eyes, but could not tell whether she was looking at his sister, or beyond her at him. He still found himself drawn to those eyes, and with great pain, he realized this was going to be a very long evening.
Chapter 16
Charlotte turned to Mr. Darcy after noticing her husband had solicited the attention of the Gardiners, who were seated next to him. "I must apologize for my husband," she spoke softly. "He had no right to be so unkind toward you. It is just that we have endured several weeks of very taxing visits with Lady Catherine. Just to let you know, she has been telling some quite disturbing stories about you regarding her visit to Pemberley. I am quite sure that she has greatly exaggerated what happened there."
Looking straight ahead, Darcy nervously drew himself upright in his chair. "Quite the contrary, Mrs. Collins. I am in no doubt that everything she has told you is true." He turned to her, seeing her puzzled look.
"If she told you I was callously rude to her, removed my sister from her presence, and refused to allow her to see her, finally demanding that she leave my home, that is correct." His eyes narrowed as he recalled his anger that day.
"I am certain that there must have been a very good reason for it, Mr. Darcy." She did not want to pry, but if he wanted to share what happened, she would be willing to listen.
He was reassured by her look of compassion, and was aware again as he looked at Mrs. Collins, that he could easily watch Elizabeth without her taking notice. She may not want his company, but he was going to act as civil and polite to her family and friends, no matter what she thought of him at the moment. And what harm was there in looking upon her face? In spite of his distress over her actions, having her in his sight actually soothed his spirit.
He continued, "She insulted my sister, Mrs. Collins, bringing her to tears. She questioned my ability to raise her properly. I would not stand for it and I knew if she remained, her unjust, heartless accusations would not have ceased. I could not, would not, allow her to remain on at Pemberley." He spoke with intensity, but softly, so as not to draw Mr. Collins' attention.
Charlotte responded, "I was quite certain, Mr. Darcy, that whatever happened between the two of you was attributed to her behaviour."
She turned her head toward her husband, and unfortunately, she and Mr. Darcy overheard an occasional word whispered fervently by Mr. Collins to the Gardiners, "my patroness… such distress when one’s own family members… her nephew… demanded she leave."
She looked from Mr. Collins back to Mr. Darcy. "Please allow me to apologize for my husband. If he had any good sense, he would be willing to listen to your account of what occurred."
As she turned to whisper something to her husband, Darcy kept his eyes in her direction, looking past her to Elizabeth. He observed that there was something in the way she and Georgiana seemed to enjoy each other's company that made it difficult to look away. The only time he had seen them together was when Elizabeth was leaving Pemberley, as he watched them say goodbye to each other from his study window.
He noticed the difference in his sister as she spoke with Elizabeth, and then as she turned to speak to Elizabeth's two youngest sisters. As she spoke to them, she appeared more shy and reserved, smiling politely, but struggling with conversation. Yet when she turned back to Elizabeth, she displayed more an air of assurance and he could detect a very eager spirit within her. She seemed to have no difficulty keeping up the conversation.
Darcy's thoughts were very much whirring around inside him now. Charlotte and her husband appeared to be discussing something while Darcy continued to contemplate the effect Miss Bennet had on his sister… the effect she still had on him!
Suddenly Mr. Collins arose, and in an apologetic voice uttered, "It is with deepest regret that we must take leave of you now. My devoted wife has just informed me that she has been taken suddenly ill, and desires to return directly to her parents’ home to rest. Would you please excuse us for the evening?"
A general response of sympathetic words poured forth from the party, and they began to walk toward the door. Mr. Bennet rose from the table to escort them out. Elizabeth was up instantly as well.
As they drew into the entry, she pulled Charlotte off to the side, knowing she was not feeling ill at all. "Charlotte, you need not to do this. I do not want you to leave. I know you are not truly ill."
"It is best. It will be impossible for my husband to remain silent tonight on the subject of Mr. Darcy's behaviour toward his aunt, and he does not even know the truth of the matter." She looked at Elizabeth and whispered, "Mr. Darcy informed me that Lady Catherine was very critical of Georgiana, even bringing her to tears. He would not allow her to stay in the house because of the hurt she was inflicting on his sister."
"I am not surprised, knowing Lady Catherine as I do. Poor Georgiana!"
"Lizzy, I know that you have been very offended by Mr. Darcy's behaviour in the past. But let me assure you that tonight he seemed most amiable. I truly enjoyed his company."
Elizabeth smiled meekly. Why did I ever change his seat? she asked herself regretfully. Everyone seems to have been able to enjoy his company but me.
Elizabeth and her father bid the couple goodbye and walked back into the dining room. When she stepped in, she noticed that the Gardiners had moved over and were now seated next to Darcy, engaged in conversation with him.
Apparently they had not been able to get any kind of responsive conversation with the Hursts, who were seated on the far side of Mr. Gardiner. When Elizabeth walked in, it did not escape Mrs. Gardiner's notice that Darcy's attention was immediately drawn to her. She noticed that the instant he looked over at Elizabeth, he closed his fist and nervously rubbed his thumb and index finger together. Oblivious to his actions and her notice of them, he quickly turned back to continue his conversation with her.
Darcy discovered that Mrs. Gardiner had grown up in Lambton and enjoyed sharing their favourite places of the area. They talked of people they knew, and whether the other might know them. When Mrs. Gardiner mentioned the Franks Darcy nodded fervently.
"Why he is my head stableman! He is such a fine man and has such a wonderful family, indeed!"
"His wife and I grew up together. I remember when she first met Mr. Frank. He was working at Pemberley back then as simply a hired hand to work the stables."
"Obviously my father saw great potential in him, eventually moving him up to be in charge of the stables and horses, which he still is today."
"Are you aware, Mr. Darcy, that their daughter is deaf?"
"Yes, I just recently was made aware of that. Since then I have been getting information on a school in France that teaches communication using hand signs. I informed them of this and they seemed most interested in finding out more."
"Yes, she wrote me about that. She said that some
one was looking into starting such a school in Derbyshire itself." She looked at Darcy and saw a somewhat embarrassed reaction; he coloured slightly and looked down, making her wonder whether it may have been Mr. Darcy himself who was putting up the money to start the school.
"So I have heard." He neither confirmed nor denied that he was the one, but she felt strongly convinced that it most likely was he.
Darcy selfishly wished to tell Mrs. Gardiner all about his involvement, knowing she would most surely relay this information to her niece. But he knew that telling her would make him appear too proud and conceited. He did not even want the people of Derbyshire to know of his total responsibility for it. His eyes drifted over to Elizabeth, and he wondered what it would ever take to get her to notice him. But he had a strong impression it would not be because of things he did or what he had. It would only be because of who he was on the inside. He wondered whether he could ever be that person.
As they talked, Darcy began to feel a little less distressed, finding the company of this couple genuinely pleasant. He was amused to watch their interaction with Mrs. Bennet. Mrs. Gardiner truly had a gift as she dealt with her sister-in-law. Whenever Mrs. Bennet began to get a trifle too agitated about something, Mrs. Gardiner calmly responded with a gentle word and look, which helped keep Mrs. Bennet's boisterousness to a minimum.
Because of the calming effect of Mrs. Gardiner, Darcy was actually able to converse civilly with Mrs. Bennet, but he preferred the company of the couple on his right. He found the Gardiners more knowledgeable on many subjects, but it also allowed him to covertly observe Elizabeth across the table.
Mrs. Gardiner watched him intently, being ever so aware of the slight shift of his eyes as he talked to her. She knew that from her niece's behaviour the previous night, and his behaviour at the moment, there was more between them than either would admit.
Darcy was drawn into a conversation with the Bennets about Pemberley; Mr. Bennet inquiring how long it had been in his family. Darcy obliged them with the history of his family and Pemberley, going back some two hundred years. Mrs. Bennet obliged him with overstated details about how much her two daughters enjoyed their stay there and how they returned with unending praise about the place and its occupants, causing him a little discomfiture.