Just enjoy it while it lasts, Lindsey. It’s an experience, not a life-sentence.
“So,” I say to distract myself before I dig too deep into how I feel about everything that’s happening. “Is this the kind of treatment your groupies get? I can see why you built such a reputation.” My tone is light, but I have to admit to feeling a little bitter at the idea. It’s so easy to fall into thinking I’m special to him. Even as he’s saying to my face that I’m just like all the rest. How can I look into those eyes and feel the hunger of his hands without believing this means something to him? It’s a joke though, because I’m probably just woman number twenty who took his bait in the church turned museum, and one of countless women who’s willing to sacrifice my dignity for my own night in his spotlight, and I hate myself for it.
He unfolds his napkin and sets it in his lap with a chuckle. “No. Hell no.”
I narrow my eyes. “So I’m not different from the rest, but you’re treating me different. How does that work?”
He smirks. “It has been a while. Maybe I want my dry spell to end with a little romance.”
“You’re still assuming it’s going to end tonight?” I ask, even though the question feels ridiculous when my panties are still damp from our little engagement a few minutes ago, and I can still vividly remember how amazing it felt to have his erection rubbing between my legs and his mouth on mine.
He doesn't even crack a smile. “If I decide it will, sure. I guess if you’re not willing I could always grab one of the wait staff,” he says, nodding toward one of the girls by the wall.
An irritatingly strong jab of jealousy runs straight through me like a knife, overcoming me with a sudden urge to tip the girl’s tray of water over. Stupid. So, so, so stupid. I don’t want to be one of those crazy women who turns into a competitive, jealous bitch over her man. And Chris isn’t even close to your man, I remind myself.
“If you were going to sleep with one of them so easily, you wouldn’t have gone to all this trouble,” I say, not liking how much it sounds like I’m trying to convince myself that I really mean so little to him.
“No?” he asks. “I could call her over and give you a demonstration if you—”
“Fine,” I say, clenching my jaw. He wants to play high school games and see how jealous he can make me? Fine. I’m calling his bluff, even if it makes me want to pull my hair out and scream like a child. “Call her over then. Fuck her on the table, maybe. It’ll help spoil my appetite so I don’t have to sit through this dinner with you.”
He glares at me, but there’s a glint of amusement in his smoldering brown eyes. “You are full of surprises, aren’t you? I wonder what else I’ll find when I unwrap you later.”
“So you’re back to me, are you? Maybe that opportunity has passed.”
“Has it?” he asks. “Or would I find those little white panties of yours still soaked? Look me in the eyes and tell me your cunt isn’t throbbing right this second, just aching to be filled up with every inch I have to offer. Tell me.”
I lock eyes with him, willing the words to come out even as my core tightens desperately, craving him just like he says. “I’m thirsty,” I mutter.
He slams his fist down on the table and barks a laugh like some medieval king, looking perfectly at place in a dining hall as grand as this. “Water, please,” he shouts to the servers, who look relieved to be allowed to do their jobs instead of watching what has to be the most awkward argument they’ve ever endured in their careers.
“I’m sorry,” I say to the girl as she pours me water.
She gives me a surprised glance. “Don’t be,” she whispers under her breath. “If you weren’t wet right now, I’d think something was wrong with you.”
I want to cover my face with embarrassment, but I take as calm a sip of water as I can manage. “Good water,” I say.
“I think they make it fresh,” Chris says sipping his and nodding his approval.
“Really?” I ask.
I realize my mistake as soon as I see the smirk on his face. They make it fresh. Really, Lindsey?
I clear my throat and barely resist the urge to slide under the table to hide. But after I fight through the initial nerves and gradually forget the dirty thrill of what we just did before dinner, I start to enjoy myself. I let him talk about the food and what he recommends here, and he listens when I talk about my blog. We spend nearly ten minutes talking about nothing important until for maybe the first time since I’ve met Chris, I actually sink into something close to comfort around him.
The waiters set our food down--shrimp-topped sirloin with a tangy mustard sauce for me and a huge steak for him that’s crusted in some sort of truffle coffee mix.
“My little sister would kill me for passing on the crab cakes,” I say, laughing a little sadly to think of Amelia and Brooke, who are still back home, probably feeling betrayed by me. I can only imagine how this looks to them. I lie to their faces about not having feelings for Chris and then I end up jumping on a private plane with him to Germany without even giving them a full day’s notice. It’s just a few days, I keep telling myself. Besides, they didn’t seem upset with me when I called them, so I should stop assuming they’re secretly mad.
Chris quirks an eyebrow. “She’s a seafood fan?”
I shake my head, smiling at the memory. “Just crab cakes, really. When I got my first check from blogging, I took my sisters out to a nice restaurant. Amelia tried crab cakes for the first time and it was like giving ice cream to a toddler. She went nuts for them. I think she could’ve eaten five servings if we had the money for it.”
Chris looks down at his plate, thinking something that has his forehead creased.
“What?” I ask.
“I was just thinking how frustrating it is that I could solve your money problems. I could write you a check today that would set you up for life, and it wouldn’t mean a thing to me. But you wouldn’t ever let me do that, would you?”
I look down, guilt blossoming inside me. No, I wouldn’t just take his money, but apparently I’d consider using him and tricking him for the check Alec was offering me. I ultimately decided not to go through with it, but it doesn’t excuse me for considering it. Worse, I haven’t told Chris or my sisters about the offer. But that’s going to change. “There’s something I need to tell you,” I say suddenly. “Alec offered me a hundred thousand dollars to get you to write the manuscript.”
Chris’ face clouds with anger, his fists tightening around his knife and fork until his fingers turn white. “When?” he asks through gritted teeth.
“After the morning at your parent’s graves,” I say. “After I tried to get you to write it the first time.” It’s important he believes that. If Chris thinks Alec’s offer came sooner, it would paint our past in an entirely different light--one that would make me look like a shameless con artist.
He laughs slowly, humorlessly, shaking his head and looking down. He sets his knife and fork down, throwing his napkin on his barely eaten steak and fixing me with a glare that could melt steel. “It makes sense now.” The tone of his voice scares me. The lightness that had started to show is entirely gone now, evaporated. I can almost see him moving back behind his walls of anger and hatred before my eyes. “I kept trying to figure out why you seemed so different, why you didn’t seem to care about me or my money. You seemed different because you were the biggest liar yet, that’s all. You were playing me the whole time.”
“Chris,” I say, pleading. “Just please let me explain.”
“Why?” he asks. “So you can make an even bigger ass out of me? Congratulations. You did what so many people wish they could’ve done. You pulled one over on me.” He laughs again, but there’s poison in the sound. “You even made me like you. All this,” he says, gesturing around the room. “It’s embarrassing how excited I was to bring you here. Fuck.” He stands up, walking a few steps away from the table before turning around again, eyes burning with anger. “I’m not even—”
He clenches his jaw but stays put, mouth closed.
“If all that was true, why would I have just told you about Alec’s offer?”
Pause.
“Because you thought he’d tell me eventually.”
“Why would he? He knows you better than most people do. Would you ever write the manuscript if you knew he was trying to bribe me to make it happen?”
A hint of doubt creeps into Chris’ face. “No,” he says finally.
“You said you wanted everything. Just one night. You wanted complete honesty. Well here it is. He made the offer after we talked at your parents’ graves. After. And yes, I considered it. We barely keep the lights on and Amelia’s trying to go to some beauty school that costs fifty thousand dollars. So I thought about it, and I used it to help convince myself I should give you another chance. But I told him I wasn’t going to do it. It felt wrong, and no matter how many times you told me to fuck off, I couldn’t use you like that. Okay?” I say, feeling my own anger rising that he’d jump to so many conclusions about me. “And no. I wouldn’t take your money, either, because we’re making it with what we have. It’s not worth doing things I’m not proud of to be more financially comfortable.”
The doubt in his face is still there, but just when I think he’s about to apologize, he turns to leave. “This was a mistake. All of it. I’ll have a plane ready for you in the morning to go back to the States.”
My ride back to the hotel is lonely and confusing. To add insult to injury, my body still aches for him. It doesn’t matter how hurt I am that he wouldn’t believe me. He started to wake something in me that I doubt will go dormant again.
I thank the driver he sent to pick me up, and head to my room, thankful I don’t run into Alec in the lobby. The vague threat he made still looms in my mind. It’s hard to think about anything other than how quickly what Chris and I were building crumbled. I’m even more ashamed about what we did together now that he seems ready to cut me off without a thought, and send me home like a guest who overstayed her welcome.
I peek around the corner to my hallway cautiously, not wanting to run into Chris before I make it into the safety of my room. But just as my head sticks around the corner, I see Lydia walking toward me. She stops short, giving me a concerned look.
“Hey,” she says softly. Her tone tells me everything I need to know. She knows Chris is done with me. I’m guessing she just came from his room and got his version of things. I’m guessing she will to want to deck me if she believes his side of what happened.
“Uh, hi,” I say. “I was just going to my room.”
“Listen, Chris is pissed,” she says. “For all his macho bullshit though, he’s got a tender side. I think whatever happened just bruised his pride.”
“He didn’t tell you?” I ask.
She laughs. “No. Chris barely tells me anything. I’ve been trying to get him to let me into his life for a long time now, and it was only when our parents died that he’d even talk to me a little bit.”
“Well, his bruised pride means I’m flying home tomorrow morning. So it was nice to meet you,” I say.
She tilts her head. “He’s sending you home? What the hell happened? I’ve never seen him so into a girl before. I can hardly believe he’d—”
“It’s complicated,” I say, feeling so tired I’ll probably fall asleep before my head hits the pillow. The last thing I want is to try to defend myself to Chris’ sister. Whether I decided I couldn’t take the money from Alec or not, Chris is right to be mad that I even considered it. I just hate that he doesn’t believe that my offer to help finish the manuscript came before Alec ever spoke to me.
“Well, look,” she says. “I may not know my brother as well as I’d like, but I know one thing. Right or wrong, he feels like everybody he’s ever known or cared about eventually turns out to be a liar or a user. If he seems callous, it’s just that he doesn’t want to let anyone else in who might turn around and hurt him again.”
“I find it hard to imagine Chris getting his feelings hurt,” I say.
“I doubt he’d call it that,” she admits. “But he cares more than he lets on. I don’t know what happened between you two, but his first reflex is to push people away. Try not to take anything he said personally. Maybe just talk to him one more time, see if you can get through to him.”
“And what if the thing he’s mad at me for is true? What if he has a right to be mad?”
“Then explain to him that you’re not the first person in the world to make a mistake and he needs to get over it because he cares about you. I know he does.”
I smile a little at that. “I appreciate it, but I have a feeling he won’t want to see me right now.”
“Try him,” she says. “If he’s going to send you away tomorrow morning, you have nothing to lose, right?”
“How about the last of my self-respect?” I ask with a small laugh.
She grins. “Self-respect is overrated. When you’re eighty and retired, do you want to be sitting on a beach somewhere, alone and disappointed with your life, saying, ‘well, at least I still have my self-respect’?”
I blow my hair out of my eyes and try to mentally brace myself for what I’m going to do. I nod my thanks to Lydia, who smiles and heads down the stairs, leaving me to walk what feels like ten miles instead of ten feet to Chris’ door.
I lift my hand to knock, but the door opens before I can.
He’s standing there in just a white undershirt and jeans, hair a mess and eyes hard. He looks straight out of a scene from a movie, sexy, angry and all kinds of bad news. It’s the kind of moment that deserves a picture so people can look back at it years from now and wonder if a man so incredible ever really existed and what it would’ve been like to be the focus of those eyes.
“I heard you two in the hallway,” he says.
I open my mouth to speak but can’t find any words worth saying. How much did he hear? What do I even say to that?
“Get on my bed,” he says.
I have to stare at him for several seconds before I can confirm I heard what I thought I just heard. “Your bed?” I stammer. “Wh—”
“On. My. Bed.”
There’s no arguing with a voice like that, with eyes like that. I’m moving to the bed before there’s time to think of disobeying. I get up on the bed and sit in the center, legs self-consciously crossed so I don’t give him a view up my skirt, even though he’s had plenty of that tonight.
He considers me, pacing side to side while following me with a simmering glare, no words are needed to tell me he’s trying to figure out what to do with me.
What to do with me? Why am I so sure that’s what he’s doing? Why does the thought fill me with dark excitement? I came to his room to apologize or to do something to set things right. I don’t even know what, I never would’ve guessed it was me who’d feel the need to apologize.
All I can do is watch him pace in front of the bed, anger boiling off him like heat.
“You know what pisses me off the most about all this?”
I shake my head.
“Nothing changed. I said what I said after dinner. I sent you away. Told you to get the first plane out of here in the morning. Then I left you there and realized they were just words. Just fucking words.”
He moves closer to me, gripping my chin and looking down into my eyes, jaw clenched. “Why do I still want you?”
“Because you know it’s not true. The things you assumed,” I say. “You know—”
He presses his mouth into mine, pinning me back against the bed and moving on top of me, driving his knee between my legs. I’m swallowed up by him, the scent of him, the feeling of his hard body against mine, and how soft and small his touch makes me feel.
He tastes like sin and smells like sex, like every inch of him was painstakingly crafted to drive me bey
ond all rational thought and reason. His tongue is hot against mine, teeth tugging at my lip in a way that is so hungry it makes my skin prickle with goosebumps.
His hands are rough, fingertips pressing angry red lines into my skin as he gropes his way up my dress to find my tits and squeeze, sucking in a breath full of satisfaction when he finds the hard points of my nipples.
His knee is a lightning rod for my attention though, drawing my focus to the heat and throbbing sensation between my legs. I rock my hips upward, gripping his firm ass with one hand and his broad back with the other as I use him to pull myself harder and harder into his knee. I’m so desperate for release that I don’t even care what he thinks of me, or the moans that are already spilling from my lips.
I fumble for his belt, pulling it away and throwing it to the ground even as he lifts up my dress. Our bodies are a tangle of hungry hands and heat where our skin collides. He strips away my dress and might as well throw my doubts and fears to the ground along with it, because I’m in too deep to stop now--way too deep.
He’s shirtless now and wears nothing but his underwear, giving me my first in person view of his bare chest and abs. A thin sheen of sweat coats his body, highlighting every curve of his abs and the sharp V of muscle pointing down toward his groin. He’s absolutely mouthwatering. I grip his pecs, running my fingers down the rack of abs and digging my fingertips along his skin, leaving red lines in their wake.
He hisses through his teeth, still fixated on my breasts that are now freed of my bra and completely bare to him.
My eyes wander down to his gray underwear, where I can see the huge outline of his erection pressing against my panties. A warm surge blasts through me to think his cock is so tantalizingly close to my entrance.
Baby for the Brute_A Fake Boyfriend Romance Page 32