Case of the Great Cranberry Caper

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Case of the Great Cranberry Caper Page 18

by Jeffrey M. Poole


  Four separate Star Wars references and no one had been able to explain why the dogs had fixated on them. But now? Standing in the living room of this accountant, who was clearly a fan of comic books, and all manner of sci-fi memorabilia, I began to wonder if there was anything from the Star Wars universe present. One look was all it took.

  I was right. Over there, in the far corner of the living room, on a three-feet tall wooden pedestal, sat the only Star Wars collectible that I could see. It was the Lego version of the Millennium Falcon, and before you scoff at that, I can tell you that it’s the adult version. Why was it classified for adults? Well, it might have something to do with the fact it has over 7,500 pieces.

  Being a Star Wars fan myself, I had been drooling over that set for quite some time. However, I just couldn’t bring myself to spend $800 for a set of Legos. Sure, it was a huge set, but it was still Legos. So, I’d have to be content with someone else having it and being allowed to put it together.

  I also knew, as I slowly approached Han Solo’s beloved space freighter, that the Millennium Falcon was known to be a smuggler’s ship, and this particular model incorporated the secret compartments referenced several times in the movies. You couldn’t find a better place to hide a cranberry-sized diamond. Well, there was only one way to find out.

  “What are you doing?” Stephen demanded. “Don’t touch that. It took me nearly 40 hours to put it together!”

  “What are you doing, Zack?” Vance wanted to know.

  “We’re still waiting for the warrant, Mr. Anderson,” Captain Nelson informed me.

  “I’m a Star Wars fan,” I told the people seated around the dining table. “I’ve always wanted to see one of these things up close. You don’t mind, do you, Stephen?”

  “If you break it, you buy it,” the homeowner warned me.

  Nodding, I carefully lifted off the back plate of the ship and, in doing so, realized something. Stephen had essentially given me permission to look at his model. That definitely meant he was not in cahoots with Peter, seeing how the poor intern had a look of horror on his face and appeared as though he was ready to puke. Setting the back plate safely off to the side, I took my first look at the guts of the ship. Wow. I used to think these Lego kits were for only kids, but the level of detail in this one? It could only be for an adult. I could see the storage hold, the little seating area where Chewie and Luke played that weird space chess, and there, in the hallway, were the fake panels I knew were hiding the secret compartments.

  Lifting the small cover plates out of the way, I leaned in to take a closer look at the newly revealed space. I grinned as I saw what was concealed within. Vance appeared next to me and handed me a pair of latex gloves. Properly protected, I bent down to retrieve the object that had been stashed inside the ship: the extraterrestrial diamond!

  Holding the glittering diamond aloft, I victoriously turned around and approached the table. That’s when we all heard Peter let out a collective groan. Stephen let out a comical squawk of surprise before he turned to his former classmate and threw a right hook.

  He missed, which resulted in him spinning around and plopping unceremoniously onto the floor. Vance, doing an admirable job of keeping a straight face, gave Stephen a hand up before turning to Peter.

  “I hope it was worth it, pal.”

  ELEVEN

  “There is nothing I like more than the smell of a turkey cooking for the better part of the day.”

  “If I cooked this bird for the better part of the day, then we’d end up trying to eat a charcoal briquette. That’s the most common mistake people make on Thanksgiving.”

  “Overcooking the bird,” I said, nodding. “Makes sense, I suppose.”

  Jillian smiled at me. “Has it ever happened to you?”

  “On many an occasion,” I recalled. “My father actually decided to give my mother a break one year. He wanted her to be able to relax, so he bought a turkey fryer.”

  “That’s definitely not the healthy way to go,” Jillian lamented.

  “I would agree. Especially since Dad sat down to watch a football game and promptly forgot about it.”

  Jillian covered her mouth. “Oh, no! What happened?”

  “Easy. We ended up eating turkey jerky that year.”

  “Oh, you and your stories,” Jillian laughed.

  I shrugged. “I have been known to bend the truth here and there, but on this particular occasion, it was true. At least the parts that were still edible tasted pretty good. Hey, do we have a final head count yet? People will start arriving soon, and I need to make certain we have enough chairs.”

  Jillian nodded. “There’s you and me, Hannah and Colin, Lisa and Kimmi, Taylor, and Dottie.”

  I paused as a thought occurred. “Do you mean to tell me that the only other male will be Colin?”

  Jillian batted her eyes at me. “I suppose so. Will that be a problem?”

  “I guess not. I mean, I am planning on decimating the poor boy on Robotron.”

  Less than an hour later, Carnation Cottage was full of bustling activity. Thankfully, Jillian had a huge kitchen in her house, so three extra sets of hands didn’t result in people getting in each other’s way. Kimmi and I wisely decided to stay out of everyone’s way and elected to sit at the breakfast bar, where we could watch the activity. Turning to the young Asian girl, I gave her a smile.

  “So, Kimmi, what type of work do you do?”

  “I’m a Realtor. Back in Honolulu, I was a bartender for a local cruise line. What do you do, Mr. Anderson? Besides making your own wine, that is?”

  Lisa Martinez looked up from the cutting board where she had been peeling carrots and chopping celery, shaking her head.

  “K? Did you just ask Zack what type of work he does?”

  Kimmi nodded. “Well, yeah. He asked me what I do, so I thought I’d ask him. Is there something wrong?”

  “What was the name of the book you just read?” Lisa off-handedly asked.

  “Misty Moors. Why? Would you like to borrow my copy?”

  Lisa pointed at me and grinned. Surprised, Kimmi turned to regard me with a skeptical look.

  “Would you like to borrow it? I mean, I know it’s probably not your thing, but …”

  “For heaven’s sake, K,” Lisa interrupted. “He wrote it!”

  Kimmi’s eyes widened. “Impossible. My book was written by a woman.”

  I gave the confused girl a mock-bow. “Ms. Chastity Wadsworth, at your service.”

  Kimmi’s face blushed bright red. “You? You wrote my book? But … but that’s not possible!”

  “You really need to pay attention to me more often,” Lisa chuckled. She noticed a few strands of her jet-black hair had fallen out of her ponytail, and promptly pulled her hair loose to redo her ponytail. “I told you he’s a world-famous author. I also told you he works with the police.”

  Kimmi automatically looked out, toward the living room. Colin was there, playing with Sherlock and Watson.

  “The dogs! Oh, I remember now. You solve crimes with the dogs, don’t you?”

  “Guilty as charged,” I admitted. “Tell me, how have you been enjoying PV so far?”

  “I love it here,” Kimmi gushed. “The only complaint I have is that there’s no shoreline, no water, and no surfing. I miss getting my feet wet.”

  “Rascal River is out there,” I reminded the girl. “The water might be a tad colder than you’d like, but …”

  “A tad?” Kimmi interrupted, laughing. “The last time I stuck a toe in that river water, I had an ice cube attached to it when I pulled it out. No, thank you. You guys can keep your freakishly cold water.”

  There was a knock at the door, which set both of the dogs off. However, I recognized that particular bark. It wasn’t an agitated bark, but an excited member-of-the-pack-was-home type of bark. Looking around the room, I realized it could only be one person.

  “Hi, Taylor! Hey, let me get that for you.”

  The woman with the short,
curly blond hair stepped inside, gave me a hug once her hands were free of the heavy platter she had been holding, and then dropped down to the ground so she could greet the corgis.

  “If it isn’t the smartest doggies in the whole, wide world!”

  Sherlock and Watson were ecstatic. They were running circles around Taylor, all while barking maniacally. Thankfully, the greeting only lasted a few moments before both dogs settled down and promptly flopped onto their backs. Taylor laughed and gave each of them a belly rub.

  Jillian appeared next to her friend and smiled. “Taylor! So very nice to see you! Wow, something smells fantastic! What’s on the tray?”

  “It’s my own version of a honey-baked ham, although I think mine’s better. Then again, I could be biased.”

  “Oooo, I’m so glad calories don’t count today,” I exclaimed.

  Every other person in the house, with the exception of Colin, regarded me with a piteous look. Before anyone could speak, however, I waggled a finger.

  “Don’t you dare. Everyone knows calories aren’t counted on holidays. Now, everyone, repeat after me: calories don’t count on Thanksgiving.”

  “Calories don’t count on Thanksgiving,” six women intoned, giggling profusely as they did.

  “I’m so adopting that rule,” Dottie announced, as she mixed something together in a small bowl.

  “What are you making?” I asked.

  The new proprietor of A Lazy Afternoon held up a spatula covered with a yellow substance. “Deviled eggs. I’ve got to make sure the filling is just right.”

  “I love deviled eggs,” I said.

  “Bet you’re gonna love the recipe I made for today,” Kimmi said.

  I looked back at Lisa’s girlfriend. “Oh? I don’t know. I can be pretty picky.”

  Six women all snorted, at the same time.

  “I’m gonna choose to ignore that,” I said, with a grin. “Okay, Kimmi, hit me with your best. What did you bring?”

  “Bubble bread.”

  I shrugged. “I like bread, and as long as it doesn’t have raisins in it, or walnuts, I’m pretty sure I’ll like it.”

  “I said you’re going to love this bread,” Kimmi clarified.

  Intrigued, I looked at the person sitting next to me. “All right, woman. You have my attention.”

  Kimmi laughed. “The more you talk, the more I can hear your voice in your books. Now, as for bubble bread, it’s also been called monkey bread.”

  “Prithee, continue,” I drawled, which made Kimmi laugh again and Jillian giggle.

  “You place uncooked, unrisen dinner rolls into a greased Bundt pan. Add some cinnamon and brown sugar. Then, you take a package of instant butterscotch pudding and sprinkle that over the whole thing. Then, bake it in the oven. The rolls will rise and everything kinda melts together. Oh, it’s to die for. Here, let me help you with that.”

  “Huh?’ I stammered, but before I knew what she was doing, Kimmi was dabbing at the corners of my mouth with a napkin.

  “You’re drooling, Zack.”

  “Oh, hardy har har. Umm, did you get it all?”

  The ladies laughed again.

  Dinner was fantastic. I never knew turkey could be so moist and flavorful. Growing up, I had gotten used to needing some type of condiment in order to get the turkey down. I’m ashamed to say it was usually ketchup. Jillian, though, introduced me to a whole new world of flavors. Sure, there were still things I wasn’t a fan of, but stuffing? Holy cow, I loved it.

  As a kid, I avoided just about everything at the Thanksgiving table. Everyone called me ‘picky’, or a ‘bottom feeder’, but I honestly think it was because my mother wasn’t the best cook. Don’t get me wrong, she had some recipes that were fantastic, but it wasn’t until many years later that I realized pork chops weren’t supposed to bounce off the floors. They could actually be moist and flavorful, and not become a dehydrated strip of protein.

  But, I digress. We were here, sitting together, and enjoying each other’s dishes. I was well into my second plate of turkey and ham when Dottie brought up the inevitable.

  “Zack? Were you able to catch the guy I helped you chase?”

  The chatter at the table came to a standstill.

  “Yeah, actually, we did,” I reported. “Turns out he wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.”

  Dottie slapped a hand over her mouth and giggled. “What makes you say that?”

  “He thought he’d give us the slip by sneaking back to the rock where he had been hiding, and the only thing he did to lose us was to duck behind trees. Sherlock and Watson, understandably, were up to the task of following him.”

  “What happened?” Lisa curiously asked.

  “I got word to Vance, and he managed to get back to the house before Peter did. Peter was arrested the moment he snuck in the back door.”

  “Good,” Taylor decided. “Serves him right.”

  “He was a good kid who made some bad decisions,” I announced, as I helped myself to a few more of Hannah’s butt rolls. And yeah, I know how that sounds. In case you’ve forgotten why they have that name, Google them. You’ll see. “Honestly? I feel bad for the guy.”

  “Pretend I don’t know anything about the case,” Kimmi began. “What did this guy do?”

  Lisa was shaking her head. “Seriously, K, you need to pull your nose out of your book more. There’s a whole world out there, waiting to be discovered.”

  “Ignore her,” I said. “On behalf of Ms. Wadsworth, we appreciate the patronage.”

  Kimmi slipped her arm through mine and stuck her tongue out at Lisa. “Why thank you, kind sir.”

  “To answer your question,” I began, “Peter Grant was working at an observatory, up in Washington State. They were studying a special extraterrestrial diamond called ‘ET’.”

  “Extraterrestrial?” Kimmi repeated, and she frowned. “What does that mean? It came from space?”

  I nodded. “Exactly. It caught a ride with a meteorite on the way down. Peter Grant, the intern in question, had been assisting a team who had been studying meteorites. Scientists, right? I personally think they’re some of the smartest people out there, but in this case, they goofed. They made the mistake of leaving one of their interns alone with it. Unsupervised.”

  “And he couldn’t resist the temptation,” Lisa added.

  “Sherlock and Watson found it,” Hannah added.

  I grinned and pointed at Colin. “Actually, Colin helped me find it.”

  The boy looked up, with half a roll shoved in his mouth. “I did?”

  “Colin!” Hannah scolded. “Don’t speak with your mouth full!”

  “Sorry.” A few moments passed while Colin furiously chewed his roll. Once his mouth was clear, he looked up at me. “I helped you find the stolen diamond?”

  I nodded. “A few days ago, you were wearing a backpack in your mother’s shop. Do you remember which one it was?”

  The boy nodded. “Yes. I only have the one.”

  “What about the backpack?” Taylor wanted to know.

  “Tell them what’s on it,” I instructed.

  Colin shrugged. “Master Yoda.”

  “Master who?” Kimmi asked, puzzled.

  “You need to take her out more,” I chortled, as I addressed Lisa.

  Kimmi smiled and looked triumphantly at her significant other. “You heard him!”

  “Master Yoda,” I slowly explained, “is the Jedi Master who trained countless people in the ways of … all right. I’m going to stop right there. If I didn’t sound like a dork before, then I sure as hell do now. Umm, long story short, Colin’s backpack captured Sherlock and Watson’s interest, only I didn’t know why.”

  “Until now,” Dottie guessed.

  I nodded. “Star Wars. There were several unexplained Star Wars references. Greeting cards at one of the burglarized stores, a video game being played by the gardener’s son, and finally, the shirt Peter was wearing when we found him.”

  “What was he wea
ring?” Jillian asked.

  “A Chewbacca shirt. Somehow, I had to find the part that everyone’s favorite sci-fi franchise played with this case. There, in the classmate’s living room, was the answer: an iconic spaceship, made out of Legos.”

  “The Millennium Falcon?” Colin asked.

  I held up a hand and waited for Colin to give me a high-five. “Exactamundo. Anyone who is a fan of Star Wars will know that the Millennium Falcon is a smuggler’s ship. It has secret storage compartments. Suddenly, I knew where Peter must’ve stashed the diamond. Sure enough, I was right.”

  “Brilliant!” Colin beamed.

  Kimmi raised a hand. “Just tell me what’s the deal with all the cranberries. Why was this diamond thief fixated on cranberries?”

  “There was a cranberry processing plant next door to the observatory,” Jillian explained. “When Peter realized he needed a way to smuggle the diamond out of the state, he headed next door. His roommate’s girlfriend worked in shipping, so he dropped the diamond in a passing bag and then noted where the bags were due to be shipped. In this case, that batch was slated to be delivered to MDC, which stands for Medford Distribution Center. However, Peter couldn’t find the right bag.”

  “That’s why he kept hitting different grocery stores,” I added. “He somehow duped MDC into giving him a list of their customers, and before you can say cranberry juice, small grocery stores began noticing some unwanted attention.”

  “I’m just glad no one was hurt,” Jillian decided. She reached for her glass of wine, which had me reaching for my glass of sparkling cider. “Everyone? I’d like to make a toast.”

  Everyone reached for their drinks. Hannah nudged her son and inclined her head toward his chocolate milk. After a few moments, everyone had their drinks in their hands and held aloft.

  “To family, friends, and a wonderful year. To my handsome fiancé, Zachary, and his two precious dogs, Sherlock and Watson. I don’t think I could feel more blessed, even if I tried. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!”

 

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