Lavender Is a Harsh Mistress

by Earl Watson

  “You have done that. Remember when we were at that dance and you were coming onto that young stud that Mrs. Withers was with?

  While dancing with him you faked spraining your ankle. Then when he helped you over to sit down and removed your shoe. You had written your phone number on the inside of the shoe directly in the middle.”

  “That was different. He was young enough to be her son and besides she was hideous and I felt that it was my moral duty to save him.”

  “You never did tell me if he ever called you.” “Yeah he sure did. We went out to dinner and a play. I paid for everything soooooo, that was the end of that.”

  Amanda broke out into a laugh.

  “Only you Carney, what a boob you are.” Carney shot back with a deadpan look.

  “Come on Mandy that can happen to anybody. Besides look who’s talking. A girl with a Lassie hairdo and makeup that makes her look like Frankenstein.” The two friends laid back on the couch and had a good laugh.

  “Carney there’s one more thing about today that I just remembered.”

  “What’s that?”

  “When I got out of Marcus’ car I had his jacket around me and I dropped it into the wet street. Why can’t anything go right for me when I am around him?”

  “Come on Frankenstein, I have just the thing that is going to cheer you up.” Carney went into the kitchen and when she returned she was holding an envelope that was half white and half black.

  “Here they are Mandy, your yearly invitation to Alvin’s, Street On The Street Party. You know the tickets that people in the world of fashion have been known to just about kill for. They were hand delivered this afternoon. There are three tickets and since I am in town. I just know that I am one of the two people going with you.” Amanda ran her hand thru her still wet hair.

  113

  Lavender Is A Harsh Mistress

  “Of course I am going to take you, you and Patrick.” A look of horror spread over Carney’s face.

  “Oh no Mandy! Not little Dick Patrick, anybody but him. Why do you want to torture yourself?”

  “What else can I do? His parents sit on Alvin’s board, I would look pretty foolish if I didn’t invite him. It’s not like I am going to show up with another man. There is no way around it, besides I am taking off next week. That way I will have plenty of time to gear up for him.

  I know that after the party he is going to want to have sex. I guess that I will have to be ready for that too. I just called you a boob! I am right behind you.”

  Alvin Seeton’s Street On The Street Party, was a yearly affair that took it’s cue from Hollywood’s Nineteen Twenties Era. A time when top stars gave over the top parties and only the who’s who were invited to attend. One of the rules of those high class parties was you had to wear only black and white. It didn’t matter what you wore but it was limited to those two colors. But Alvin’s party had added one more rule. If you didn’t have an invitation you could also attend. But, he would meet you at the door with thousands of people looking on.

  Then either give you a thumbs up or a thumbs down. Most of those who came without an invitation were minor B list actors or celebrities, whose careers were on the wane, or who never had any careers at all. Alvin would give them a thumbs down and then proceed to berate them without any mercy. The next day their names would be dragged thru the gossip pages and they would be the butt of late night television jokes. Then their names and faces would be swept into the dust bin of entertainment history. It was no secret that many of those that were invited came only for this one spectacle alone. For Alvin this was a night that he lived for. For him it was Heaven and Nirvana all rolled into one. This year Alvin had built a balcony that was just about twelve feet high and connected it to the spiral staircase that people used to walk down to get to the bottom floor. Now when you came thru the door the audience could get a clear view of who you were and what you were wearing. As each guest came thru the door and stepped onto the balcony. They were announced by a huge man that would bang a giant metal pole onto the floor and the guests would become silent. After the man called out their name he 114

  Lavender Is A Harsh Mistress would shout either “With invitation or without invitation.” If you had a invitation you would be escorted to your seats. If you did not have an invitation Alvin would stand up and announce to the people if you could stay or if you were not important enough to be at his affair. So far tonight he had turned nine uninvited people away and he had been quite gentle by his standards. But everyone knew that he was saving his most toxic venom for Trevor Heggers. The dust up between the two men had been talked about in the papers for months. Trevor Heggers had once worked for Alvin, and when he left to work on Broadway, had penned a tell all book that was not kind to Alvin and his company. Trevor had boasted for weeks that he was coming to Alvin’s Street On The Street Party “Weather I am invited or not, and take my chances.” The huge man banged his pole against the floor and when the crowd fell silent he shouted out.

  “Mr. Trevor Heggers.” All heads looked up toward the balcony as a ripple of tension filled the room. Alvin arose from his chair with a sneer on his face. All could hear him as his words reverberated around the room. “I see that we have a traitor in our midst. A traitor in heart, deed, and spirit, that would even put Benedict Arnold to shame. Here before us stands a man. But I truly ask you, is this a man? Or is he a dog? I say that he is neither! Because if he were a man he would not have picked up the Devil’s pitchfork and stabbed those in the back that once loved him. If he were a dog, he would not have bitten off the hand of those that fed him and gave him their trust. The question still dangles over our heads. Exactly what do we have before us? Something that is not lofty enough to call a man! Yet, something that is not on the same plain as a mangy dog!!”

  Alvin turned away from looking at the balcony where Trevor was still standing in obvious discomfort. Alvin’s last few words dripped off of his tongue with the taste of hemlock.

  “Begone back to those demons that conceived you in the pit of Hell!

  It’s a wonder that they can even stand the sight of such profound treachery!” Alvin raised his hand up high and gave a thumbs down.

  The entire crowd nodded and voiced their approval. Two beefy security guards rushed onto the balcony and roughly dragged Trevor off of the balcony and out the door. Amanda had seen enough of Alvin’s preening and his sideshow and turned to Patrick. “Are you ready to 115

  Lavender Is A Harsh Mistress go or do I have to call for a taxi?”

  “Ahh come on Amanda, things are just getting good.” She was just about to ask him again for the last time when she heard the huge man bang his pole against the balcony floor and shout out in a booming voice.

  “Mr. Marcus Vipsainus Peterson. No invitation!” The overflow crowd again trained their eyes on the balcony. Alvin exploded out of his chair as if he had been shot out of a cannon. His anger was still in rare form due to what had just happened with Trevor Heggers. He whirled around with a flair and was ready to do battle with Marcus.

  He glared at Marcus with a contempt that no one had ever seen before. Marcus moved not a muscle as he glared right back. Alvin placed his arms Akimbo, and took a few steps backward. Amanda could feel a wave of heightened tension begin to brake over the crowd as everyone waited to see what would happen. The reporters took out their pen and paper. While the photographers all got their cameras at the ready. The two men were facing down each other like two prize fighters. Each waiting to see which one would flinch first.

  It seemed like an eternity. Suddenly Alvin shot both thumbs up with gusto into the air. The crowd went crazy. No one had ever gotten a two thumbs up at a Street On The Street Party. The reporters started writing and the cameras clicked away. The place seemed like New Years Day, after the ball had dropped. Patrick was beside himself.

  “Amanda! Amanda! Did you see that! That dude just got a two thumbs up. We will have something to tell our children about! I can’t believe it! I was actua
lly here and I am part of it!” Amanda was still staring at Marcus who was still standing on the balcony. He was wearing a brown full length camel hair overcoat that came down to his shoe tops. He dipped his shoulders and the coat fell into the arms of the huge man. The crowd again fell silent as many of them gasped in shock. Marcus was decked out in a red dinner jacket, white shirt, red bow tie, a white silk handkerchief in his breast pocket, silver cuff links with ruby studs, black pants and black patent leather shoes. In his hair was the hint of a soft snow that just had began to fall. Upon seeing what Marcus was wearing Alvin sprinted up the spiral stairs onto the balcony. He walked around Marcus a few times with shock on his face. He stepped in front of Marcus as his voice 116

  Lavender Is A Harsh Mistress cut thru the crowd.

  “You dare come here in violation of my dress code! Who do you think that you are Mr. Marcus Vipasinus Peterson? He stared for a few tense seconds as the audience waited. He suddenly thrust both thumbs into the air again and turned to Marcus with a smile. The crowd once again erupted as Alvin led Marcus down the stairs.

  “Marcus my boy I would only make allowances like this for you. You look just great! I like people that challenge authority, and you are a natural. Mandy and her crew are over there.” Marcus followed Alvin’s direction and headed toward Amanda’s table. From the second that his name had been announced she had been unable to take her eyes off of him. Tonight in this place, at this time to her he looked like Atlas, and she was sure that he had the world in his back pocket.

  Amanda watched all of the woman’s adoring eyes as he walked past them. All of the men just lowered their eyes and stared into their drinks. This was the first time that she had seen him since Albany.

  He reached her table and extended his hand to Carney.

  “It’s so nice to see you again Carney. I hope that you are having a good time.” He then turned to Amanda.

  “Miss. Wilcox, I haven’t seen you at work, I hope that you are well.”

  “Yes I am fine, I just needed a few mental health days. This is my friend Patrick.” Marcus walked around the table and extended his hand to Patrick.

  “I am pleased to meet you Sir.” Patrick remained in his seat and offered up a limp weak handshake.

  “Hey dude, you just got a two thumbs up! Ain’t no body ever got a two thumbs up! You are gonna be famous man! By tomorrow you will be mentioned in every paper in the county. I can’t wait to tell my boys about this! This is out of sight my man!” Amanda saw a look of disgust on Marcus’ face and she knew what the reason was. Marcus had extended his hand to Patrick as one man to another. He had expected Patrick to stand up, look him in the eye and give a firm handshake. It was a sign of respect from one man to another. Patrick had failed the test. Marcus found a seat between Carney and Patrick and sat down. A painful look came over Amanda’s face as Patrick continued.

  “I didn’t know that you worked for my girl. Man you sure do have 117

  Lavender Is A Harsh Mistress a set of balls. Not many guys would have done what you just did!

  But I was thinking about doing the same thing myself next year.

  Alvin wouldn’t dare throw me out.” Marcus kept his eyes focused on Amanda, and was paying Patrick not one bit of attention. Carney turned to Marcus.

  “When did it start snowing?”

  “I guess about an hour ago. My sports car kept slipping as I went around every corner.” Patrick nudged closer to Marcus and cut in.

  “Man what kind of car are you driving?” Amanda and Carney both cringed at the same time.

  “It’s a Testarossa.” Patrick nudged even closer to Marcus and knocked his drink onto the table and almost spilled it onto Marcus.

  “Man did you say a Testarossa? Those things cost well over a hundred grand. How can you afford something like that on what my girl is paying you? Is she paying you that much?”

  Carney excused herself to go to the ladies room as Amanda tried to change the subject.

  “Mr. Peterson what did Alvin say to you.” Marcus was no help as he answered.

  “Not much.” Amanda’s phone started ringing and she took it out of her purse. It was Carney calling. “Please tell that moron to shut his stupid little mouth. If he doesn’t I am going to stab him in the eye with my fork!”

  Amanda put her phone away and caught Marcus’ eye.

  “Oh my God, I know exactly what he is thinking. This is your boyfriend!!” For the first time since he got to her table Marcus took his eyes off of Amanda and addressed Patrick.

  “Listen, take my car keys and tell the valet that I want you to move it to a closer spot.” Patrick’s eyes popped open as he grabbed the keys and then knocked his empty glass over into Marcus’ lap.

  “I am already there Marcus!” He mugged his way thru the crowd and was up the stairs and out of the door in a flash. Amanda felt that she had to say something.

  “I am so sorry Mr. Peterson, sometimes he just goes off. You shouldn’t have let him drive your car.” Marcus rested his hand under his chin.

  “My car! What car!”

  “The one that you just gave him the keys too. Your Testa.... some-118

  Lavender Is A Harsh Mistress thing.” Marcus reached into his pants pocket and pulled out another set of keys.

  “Oh, I must have given him the keys to my Corvette by mistake.

  It’s still parked in New Jersey.” They both broke out into a relieved laugh. Amanda realized that this was the first time that they had ever shared a laugh together.

  “Never the less Mr. Peterson, I am sorry that I subjected you to this.”

  Carney returned and took her seat.

  “Mr. Peterson, what would you have done if Alvin had given you a thumbs down?”

  “I would have just gone home.” She peered at him intently with a look of mild surprise.

  “But the papers would have written....”

  “I really don’t pay much attention to the papers and I rarely read that part, or pay any attention too it much.” Suddenly the atmosphere in the room had changed for Amanda. She gave Carney a kick under the table and instantly felt a little ashamed. For having resorted to such an old female trick in order to be alone with a man. Carney took a few seconds before she got up after giving Amanda a wink.

  “Well Mandy I have a thousand things to do in the morning, so I had better get some sleep. Nice seeing you again Mr. Peterson.”

  Marcus got up and shook her hand.

  “May I escort you to your car?”

  “That’s alright I have already called for a cab.” Once again it was only the two of them sitting at the table. Amanda wished that he would take his eyes off of her for at least one second. Then she realized that her eyes were fixated on him as well. From somewhere in the back of her mind she heard Patrick’s voice. As he was making his way thru the crowd toward the table.

  “Marcus! Hey Marcus this key won’t work, are you sure that this is the right one? Me and the valet tried everything but nothing worked!

  Marcus searched his pockets and found the right keys.

  “Oh my God, those are the keys to my Corvette that’s still in New Jersey. I am so sorry.”

  “That’s alright, let me have those so that I can move it. I looked thru the window to his car Amanda! You wouldn’t believe it. I have never seen anything like it! I think that the steering wheel is made mostly 119

  Lavender Is A Harsh Mistress out of pearl. Is that right Marcus? Look Marcus where do you hang out? Because we can arrange to hang out together. If Amanda wants to tag along I don’t mind.”

  Patrick was totally oblivious to the fact that Marcus’ eyes were still looking at Amanda. He finally turned toward Patrick.

  “Yeah, sure Patrick, we will have to do that sometime. But now I have to be going.” Patrick tugged on Marcus’ red dinner jacket and Amanda could see the anger flash in Marcus’s eyes.

  “But Marcus, can I at least warm up the Testarossa for you?”

  “Not tonight, but if we get together so
metime I promise that I will.”

  Marcus stood up and again offered Patrick his hand. Once again Patrick replied with a limp and weak handshake. He then moved over to Amanda and took her hand and planted a soft kiss in her palm. I hope that you enjoy the rest of the evening Miss. Wilcox.”

  She watched him in awe as the crowd parted as though he was Moses and they were the Red Sea. When Marcus started to mount the spiral stairs Alvin grabbed his arm and led him onto the balcony. The huge man banged his metal pole and silence took over the gathering again as Alvin spoke.

  “If anyone of you are thinking about trying what this man did tonight.... just forget it! If I am on my mark, and I always am. He is going to be a flaming star on this thing that we call “The Street.” So you had better sit up and pay attention. He’s got something! I don’t know what it is but he’s got it in spades. If all of you sitting out there in a drunken stupor can’t see it! Then you are all bigger fools than I thought you were. So consider this a warning and an education. You may all be looking at the beginning of the reign of a new king. Mr.

  Marcus Vipsainus Peterson!”

  Amanda and Patrick stayed at the party for a bit after Marcus left. Her mind was floating away from her as if she was on a cloud. She came back down to earth after Patrick stopped at a red light. He reached over and tried to put his hand between her legs.

  She grabbed his hand and slammed it hard against the dashboard.

  “Damn girl! What are you trying to do, break my hand? Ok, ok, I will wait until we get back to my place alright!” She answered him in a clear and confident voice that he had never heard before.

  “No Patrick I don’t think so. What I want you to do is to take me 120

  Lavender Is A Harsh Mistress home. I will call you, when I call you.”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean! Girl are you drunk or something? You sure do sound funny!”

  As Amanda sat at the kitchen table she couldn’t remember how she had gotten upstairs. She figured that she must have taken the elevator but she just couldn’t remember. Her hair was damp and she had a nightgown on. But she couldn’t remember taking a shower either. She went into the room where Carney was sound asleep and shook her awake.