by Unknown
“This wasn’t my fault, Carlton. I can’t believe you would take Missy’s word over mine anyway!”
“And Mr. Frazier? Why is he here? I mean, what are you doing with him?”
I was dumbfounded, speechless. All I could seem to do was shake my head in tiny little motions from side to side as my mouth hung wide open. I could feel the cool sharp air as it flowed across my teeth with each breath I took. I consciously gritted my teeth and flared my nostrils, fuming with more anger than I ever felt before. I didn’t know what to say other than the blatantly obvious. “Just take me home, Carlton. I want to go home.”
“We’ll be at the estate soon.”
“No, Carlton. Home. Take me back to New York.”
“You’ve got to be joking; I can’t go to New York now! Kinsley will take the entire estate, lock, stock and barrel. I simply must stay until the hearing and this is all panned out.”
“Then take me to the airport.”
“You can’t be serious.”
I was never more serious about anything in my life. I didn’t belong here, and worse than that, I didn’t want to be here. “New York, Carlton. Now!”
“You just need some rest, Liz, that’s all. I’ll get you home to a nice bath and you can relax. My business here is just about concluded, another week or two and this will all be over, I promise.”
“I think it’s obvious that you have no fucking idea what I need. I need to go home.” I knew the words were sharp, and I knew that they probably hurt Carlton more than he wanted to let on, but I couldn’t continue to perpetuate this any longer. I had to think about myself, first, something that I so willingly gave up the moment I first gazed into his eyes. But right now he wasn’t capable of taking care of me, and I knew it. And I was no longer strong enough to carry the relationship for him.
“Let’s see how you feel after some rest.”
I hated to admit it, but he was right about that part. I doubted it would change the way I felt, but I desperately needed a hot bath and a good night’s sleep.
*-*-*-*-*
I pushed my way into Carlton’s room and was surprised, yet relieved, to see Patricia still there. If there was one person in this crazy house I could somewhat identify with, it was her. I closed the door and leaned against it.
“Are you okay?” she asked, crossing the room and grabbing my arms.
I knew that my mascara had run down my face, and there was probably no reason to hide my tortured abuse from her. Still, I never wanted anyone to look upon me with pity.
“I’m fine, now,” I said.
“What happened?”
“I don’t think you would believe me,” I said, straightening up and trying to look in complete control. It was useless; I wobbled a bit under her grip.
Patricia took a firm grasp of my wrist and with her other hand she supported my elbow as she walked me into the bathroom. I was devastated, numb. I had little to no energy, and my head felt like it would split wide open at any moment.
“Let’s get you undressed and in a nice hot bath.”
How the tables had turned, and now I was the one who needed someone to care for me. I never expected the compassion out of Patricia, but her touch and soft voice was more than reassuring and I was grateful to have one friend in this confounding mess they call a family. I felt dirty, unaware, disgusting, and the only other single feeling I could identify was absolute fury. At this point Carlton and Missy were at the top of my shit list above Kinsley. At least that witch was predictable.
As the sound of the running water filling the tub seemed to wash over the words coming out of her mouth, I stood in zombie like fashion as she slowly removed my clothes. I barely noticed her fingers brushing against my skin as she helped me into the tub and carefully laid my head back.
“Headache,” I mumbled, and with my eyes shut tight I kept the embarrassment of the situation at bay, at least for the moment. I sank below the warm water as Patricia turned her attention to the sink. I could hear the squeak of the faucet, sending sharp painful stings through my head as she splashed the water. Moments later a cool washcloth placed across my eyes brought a contrasting feeling of comfort through my head.
“Who did this to you?” she asked.
I knew she already knew. She just wanted me to say the words. “Missy and Kinsley,” I said, waiting for a response. She didn’t say anything, but slowly swirled the water in the tub next to my side.
“What can I do to make you feel better?”
“Nothing. I don’t think there’s anything that could make me feel better at this point.”
“Chayton tells me Mr. Michaud will be home this evening.”
“He’s here. Probably down in his dad’s office.”
“I’m sure he’ll take care of everything,” Patricia said with confidence.
As much as I wanted to believe that, nothing over the past seventy-two hours had shown me that Carlton could handle any of these people. He was nothing like the self assured man I fell in love with in New York. Here he seemed to be reduced to nothing more than a pawn in his family’s twisted game; someone incapable of decision and direction. Far from the strong confident man I knew.
I felt Patricia’s hand slide across my stomach. I could feel the slick trail of soap she pressed against my body as she made broad swipes up my abdomen and across my chest. Her hands slowly circled my breasts as she ran the soap across my nipple and down my side. I listened to her breathing, which was slow and deliberate. A lot like the movement of her hands on my body. Her delicate fingers ran under my hip and down the outside of my thigh, and as she passed my calf I felt her grasp once again on my ankle. Firm and confident, and with it came the desire to submit to her right on the spot. What the hell is wrong with me?
“Patricia?” I said in a voice that seemed to seek clarification. Pulling the washcloth from my face I said, “I can’t…”
“Shh,” she said. “Just relax. I’m not asking for anything.”
She may not be asking for it, but half of me wanted to disappear while the other wanted to relinquish my body to her. I was approaching sensory overload, and if it weren’t for the sincere look of concern on her face I probably would have pushed her from the room. However, I could not deny my desire for her, and quite frankly, why would I? Besides, she is my only ally in this mess and I need her help to get the hell out of this place.
I covered my head with the washcloth and leaned back against the tub. I just let her wash every inch of my body, and I thoroughly enjoyed the attention. I no longer wanted to be in control. And just when I thought she would take it to the next level, she stood and said, “You soak here while I get you some fresh clothes.”
I told myself that I was relieved that she stopped where she did. True, my desires were confusing, but I really needed to be in a better place. The last thing I wanted to do was instigate another dysfunctional relationship in this house, and no matter how comforting her touches were to me it was becoming increasingly clear that no one here was to be trusted. The more I thought about it, the angrier I became at Carlton. Why the hell was I not his number one priority? Why does there have to be so much mystery surrounding him? Am I not important enough in his life for him to be open and honest with me? My fingers traced the diamond collar around my neck, it felt heavy there now as though it was tying me to something sick and twisted. This collar meant that he promised to love and protect me; instead he’d abandoned me and sided with his sister when I needed him the most.
I crawled out of the tub feeling somewhat refreshed, but more determined than ever to put some distance between me and this God forsaken family. I quickly dressed and grabbed my phone, checking the flight schedules out of London.
“Don’t you want to rest some, Ms… I mean, Liz?” Patricia asked.
“Not now. I’m leaving.” I grabbed my suitcase and flung it on the bed, filling it haphazardly with all my things. “Grab my briefcase, will you?” I asked, pointing to the chair next to the window. “I need to think t
his out, and I can’t do that here.”
“Where are you going?”
“Home.” I flung the shoulder strap to my briefcase over my shoulder and zipped the suitcase. Pulling the handle out I said, “Can you drive me to London?”
“Mr. Michaud probably…”
“Can you drive me, Patricia?”
“Sure. Let me call Chayton to have a car brought up.”
*-*-*-*-*
The door to the office was open, and from the sounds of the very unpleasant conversation, Missy was home. I stood just outside, listening intently to their conversation.
“I don’t give a damn!” Carlton said emphatically. “I can’t believe with all that’s gone on between my father and me, and now… now you do this? I don’t know why I don’t toss you out on your ass right now!”
She was openly crying. “It’s not what you think, Carlton. I swear. It wasn’t my idea. She made me do it.”
“And that’s another thing. You know what she did to me, why would you have anything to do with her?”
“It’s…” Missy stopped short of answering him, opting for the crying approach. I seriously doubted Carlton Michaud was going to fall for that. Trying to catch her breath, Missy continued, “It’s complicated. I don’t know what came over me, but I don’t want to be alone.”
“Loyalty, damn it! Do you have any idea what the word means?” Carlton asked as he slammed his hand down against the desk. The sound alone reverberated in the room, and I could feel the anger seeping out from the open door.
I looked up, only to see the condescending look on Chayton’s face as he stepped closer to me. I rolled my eyes openly, unafraid of what he might think of me. “Perhaps you’d be more comfortable waiting in the parlor, Miss Martin.”
I shook my head and uttered through clenched teeth. “I don’t think so, Chayton. Perhaps you’d be more comfortable in the employ of Kinsley?” I turned my head slightly and glared into his eyes. “I think that can be arranged.”
“I beg your pardon, Miss Martin. I would never suggest…”
I grimaced and shook my head, “Not now, Chayton. Not now.” I waved him off in an effort to help him find my place in this unusual family relationship.
I turned my attention back to the conversation. It was quiet, possibly over. I heard the high pitched squeal which I could only assume came from Missy. Yes, she was crying again. And then the strong crushing words came from the lips of the man I love. The words I could never imagine, and certainly would never want to hear myself. “Get out of my sight. I don’t want to see you… at all!”
The words were final, unwavering, and extremely clear. No possible way to interpret it other than how it was said: Permanent. Carlton had already displayed his ability to separate himself from family members, and once he made up his mind there was little use trying to change it. All of that was clearly evident by the fact that he hadn’t seen or spoken to his father in years. But now, to separate himself from his last blood relative was not something I ever wanted for him. I didn’t feel sorry for Missy, I was pretty sure she was just too damn stupid and insecure to understand the ramifications of what she’d done. But my heart did go out to Carlton, who had been spiraling in depression from the moment he received word of his father’s death. I just wasn’t sure if he would be lost forever.
Missy’s sobs were dying down as he said his final words to her. “Get out! I’ll let you know in the morning what I decide to do.”
Missy’s sobbing got louder as she approached the door. I stepped across the doorway and she breezed right past me, never realizing I was standing there. I peered around the open door and saw Carlton sitting as his father’s desk, his head propped against his left hand.
I took a deep breath and walked into his office. The entire ordeal was taking its toll on him, and I knew I should be there for him, but I couldn’t do this any longer. Still, if there was any chance of having a relationship with him, he deserved to know. “Get out, Missy!” Carlton screamed through his massive hands.
“It’s me, Carlton. Liz.”
The look of relief on his face quickly dissipated when he saw my suitcase. “Please Liz, please. Just a couple of days. I promise I won’t leave your side.”
“No, Carlton. I think its best that I go back to New York. You do what you have to do. I have to get out of here.”
“But honey…”
“Stop, Carlton. Don’t do this. I need some time to figure some things out, and you need to finish your deal here.”
“I’ll have Patricia get the jet…”
“No. I’m headed to London. I’m a big girl, Carlton. I got this.” My words sounded convincing, even to me.
*-*-*-*-*
Not being able to book a flight until the next day was definitely inconvenient, but at least I was out of that house. Patricia helped me get settled in at the Renaissance Hotel next to the airport, and once in my room she asked if I wanted her to stay the night. I did, but I wasn’t certain if I needed a friend or a lover at the moment. She deserved to know the truth, and as much as she piqued my interest I just didn’t trust myself. That’s the real reason I didn’t just use Carlton’s jet to get home. I didn’t trust myself.
“I need to be honest with you, Patricia.”
I held her arm, squeezing firmly in a grip she would find comfortable. “What?”
“I’ve been watching you,” I said, staring at the floor filled with guilt.
“I know.”
“No, I mean...” I swallowed hard, trying to force the adolescent lump in my throat back down to the pit of my stomach. “I’ve been watching you… sexually.”
She wrapped her left arm around my waist, pulling me into her as her cheek touched mine. She whispered into my ear, “I know. And it turns me on.”
She pulled her head back and gazed into my eyes. I scanned her face, the silky smooth skin required little to no makeup, and her full lips seemed so kissable right in front of me. She slid the tip of her tongue across her bottom lip as I stared, mesmerized by her beauty and proximity. And without a hesitation she kissed me, deeply and sensually, filling my body with electricity and excitement. Her hands firmly planted on my hips, she held me close to her as her breasts pressed against mine.
“Take me,” I whispered as she pulled away from me. “Take me.”
Patricia studied my face, “Not now.”
I protested as she stepped away from me. “But I thought you wanted me?”
Patricia opened the door and began to walk through it, stopping briefly to look over her shoulder at me. “I do want you, Liz Martin. But you’re not ready. This has to be right. For once in my life, this has to be right.” Patricia turned to face me. “In your brief case is my number, in New York. If this is what you really want, you call me there.”
I flipped my phone over and over in my hands as I waited at the gate. It was only 1:30 p.m., and my flight still wouldn’t leave for at least two more hours. Carlton had called and texted me a dozen times, but I just wasn’t at a place in my mind where I felt like I could handle that conversation.
I slept well, and I had a ton of energy which for the most part was not in my favor. I checked out the sky lounge, ate way more than I should have at the airport, and drifted in and out of the ill fated fantasy that my life had become. Incredible sex, incredible desires, incredible job. But all that had culminated in the most terrifying ordeal of my life, and the man who was supposed to be taking care of me still couldn’t believe his sister could do this to me? Loyalty, I thought, what a joke. I had serious doubts that Carlton even knew the real meaning of the word. This is a clear case of ‘be careful what you wish for.’ I’d only wanted a new life, in a new city and had ended up here, alone at Heathrow wandering around like an abandoned child.
And when push came to shove, Benton had been my knight in shining armor? And then, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen announced her attraction to me but indicated that she wanted a relationship, not tawdry sex. What the hell is it about
me that makes everyone want to be in a relationship with me? Am I the only woman in the world who just can’t have a sleazy one night stand and leave it at that? I studied her note, paying particular attention to her beautiful handwriting and realized she lived in my building in New York. Probably just a company owned apartment. Still, I had enough crap brewing in my life that it was a wonder my head wasn’t spinning exorcism style.
*-*-*-*-*
I found my way to the seat in first class that had been the only remaining seat left on the London to New York flight. The exorbitant cost of the ticket left my bank account bruised, but who cares. There was one mission on my mind at the moment and it was getting the hell out of England. If I never came back it’d be too soon. Next time I want fish and chips I’m heading to Captain D’s.
Withholding information is tantamount to lying, and Carlton Michaud is a fucking liar. A growl formed in my throat and I closed my eyes as the last of my fellow passengers boarded. I felt the body sit down beside me but refused to open my eyelids to acknowledge my seatmate for the flight. Fuck them, fuck everybody, all I want to do is shut the world out and make whatever feeble attempt I can to re-center my life. At what point had I turned into a raving slut? I’d allowed sexual and emotional warm fuzzies control me for far too long. A sense of hardness swarmed through me, as if I’d grown a set of bull’s balls while wandering the airport. But exhaustion came hand in hand with the new sensation and as the plane lifted into the air I felt myself drifting amongst the clouds.
“Liz? Liz? Wake up sleeping beauty, you’ve been asleep for eight hours,” the voice was warm and familiar in my dream. It was all too familiar as a matter of fact, my eyelids snapped open.
“What? Benton?” I stared into his impossibly blue eyes with confusion.
He smiled almost tenderly, “I’ve been here the entire time. It was the first flight out. Great minds think alike huh?”