by Lane Hart
Her words hit me in the chest like a bolt of lightning.
Did she just say…she’s prayed for me every day and…
“Wait. Who took me from you?” I ask as my heart thumps a million times a second. She must by lying, making up shit to take the guilt off her shoulders…
“My parents…my parents took you. I was only fourteen when I found out I was pregnant. They were livid, of course, but I didn’t expect them to be so…so cruel…” She sniffles before she goes on in a flurry of words that my mind can’t keep up with. It’s like information overload. “I never got a chance to see you or hold you even once. And you’re so handsome. You look like Samuel, just like I knew you would, except you have my eyes!”
“Samuel?” I repeat. “My father was a Samuel?”
Nodding, she says, “I was going to name you after him, Samuel Edward Goodman.”
“Do you know if, well — did he know about me?” I ask.
“Of course he knew! He felt awful about the situation, but he was still happy. And then we cried together when he found out what my parents had done. Oh, I wish you could have met him!”
Could have in the past tense. Shit. Disappointment floods me, even though I’m still in a state of shock over all of this. “What happened to him?”
“I’m afraid he left this world about ten years ago,” she answers sadly. “He always struggled with his depression and drinking. Eventually they got the best of him.”
“Oh,” I say, hating that I’ll never get a chance to meet him. And also knowing that, with those genetics in me, I should stay the hell away from alcohol.
“I still have pictures,” she offers. “You’re big and tall like he was. Samuel played football in high school, could’ve gone to college and played too if I hadn’t, well, you know. I tried to find you, but never had any luck. None of the birth certificates had the right date of birth. You were born on April 10th."
“They told me my birthday was April twelfth.”
“They’re wrong. I remember even the minute. It was eleven-fourteen that morning.”
“So…so you wanted me?” I ask the question that I’ve carried around, tied to my heart like an enormous anvil my entire life.
“Oh, I wanted you so much that it nearly killed me to lose you,” she answers, the tears in her eyes nothing but sincere. The words I’ve longed to hear for twenty fucking years are coming out of the mouth of a nun, so they have to be the truth.
I never considered the possibility that my mother didn’t have a choice in what happened to me. All that bitterness and resentment was wasted on blaming a girl who was only a teenager when she found out she was pregnant by the man she probably thought she loved.
“Thank you,” I tell the woman who gave birth to me, wrapping my arms around her and hugging her tight. It’s something that I always dreamed of as a child; and now that it’s happening, it feels even better than I imagined to just touch her.
“Thank you so much for finding me and giving me this peace,” she says as she hugs me back. “Knowing that you’re alive and happy — You are happy, aren’t you?” my mother asks when she pulls back to look at my face again so intently like she’s memorizing it.
“So fucking happy,” I say before I remember I’m hugging a nun in the backyard of a church. “Sorry. I mean, yeah, I’m really happy, especially today.”
The sudden booming of bells from above make me feel like God’s reprimanding me for my slip. Or maybe it’s the sound of all the missing pieces of my soul finally being returned to me.
“Oh, no. I hate to leave, but that’s the call to worship. Would you like to join me?” Madeline, my mother, asks us.
“Thank you for the offer, but maybe some other time,” I decline. Sure, I want to spend more time with her, but right now I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. I need a chance to wrap my head around everything.
“Of course. I hope you’ll come see me again, so I can show you those pictures.”
“I will. And maybe next time I’ll bring my daughter,” I tell her.
“That would be wonderful,” she agrees with a beaming smile and tearful eyes before hugging Jade too. “Until then, I’ll be praying for the three of you.”
“God knows I need it,” I reply honestly before she waves goodbye and walks back inside the church.
“Wow. That actually turned out…okay,” Jade says from beside me. And when I glance over at her, she’s brushing her fingers under her eyes to wipe away the tears. “I sort of expected a disaster.”
“You’re fucking amazing, you know that?” I ask her as I pull her close and crush her to me, gently, of course, because I don’t want to hurt the baby. “I can’t tell you how much this, knowing the truth, means to me. It’s like the weight of the world was lifted off of my shoulders.”
“I’m so glad, Knox. You deserve that peace just as much as she does.”
“Now I have everything I’ve ever wanted. Well, almost everything. There’s one thing that’s missing…” I tell her.
“What’s that?” she asks, blinking at me with concern.
“I want you to marry me, to be mine, forever. And it doesn’t have to be right away, because I don’t want you to do it for our daughter but do it because you love me and want to be with me, despite the fact that I’ve put you through hell the last few months.”
When Jade’s immediate response is to look away from me and worry her bottom lip between her teeth, I brace myself for the rejection I know is coming. She’s just trying to figure out the nicest way to let me down…
“Let’s do it,” she says so fast I must have misheard. “And this is the perfect place, isn’t it? Not in the stuffy church, but in the garden?”
“Huh?” I ask ever so elegantly.
“We should get married out here. I mean, if they’ll let us. I’m sure your mom can pull some strings.”
“So, wait. Are you saying yes?” I ask as I grab her shoulders and force her to look at me, so I can make sure I’m hearing this correctly.
Hugging me around the waist, Jade says, “Knox, you are by far the craziest, most unpredictable person I’ve ever met, but that only makes me love you even more. Life with you will never be boring. And I’ve never felt more alive or excited to wake up in the morning and see what the day will bring. All I hope is that you’ll be a part of each and every one.”
“It’s a yes, then?” I ask since she still hasn’t said the magic word.
“Yes!” she exclaims with a burst of laughter until I kiss her, and it changes to a moan.
I know the two of us are doing everything in a reverse order, or maybe even in an expedited way because we found out we’re having a baby together before we really knew anything about each other.
But Jade and I know what’s in each other’s heart and that’s all that matters to us. Everything else we have the rest of our lives to figure out together.
And I finally get the one thing I’ve always wanted — a family.
Epilogue
Knox
September
I startle awake to the sounds of anguished screams.
Luckily, it’s not the first time I’ve heard them, and I know exactly what to do.
Jade starts to sit up in bed, but I reach over and grab her shoulder to guide her back down to the mattress. “I’ve got this,” I tell her.
“Oh, bless you, you sweet, sweet son of a nun,” she replies groggily with a pat to my arm, making me grin before her words trail off and are replaced with soft snores again.
The screams from down the hallway are only growing louder, so I get my ass in gear even though my limbs still haven’t received the memo from my brain that I’m awake. In the kitchen, I quickly grab one of the bottles from the refrigerator. While it warms up, I head to the source of the piercing sound and lift Makayla out of her crib. Just having her tiny body in my arms turns the volume down on her cries and makes me feel like a fucking superhero.
When I say, “Good morning, my beautiful girl,” even h
er whimpers stop as she blinks her blue eyes up at me. “Just need to lay you down to change you; then your bottle will be ready.”
Her coos of agreement because she trusts me to take care of her is the equivalent of fireworks erupting in my chest. No one’s ever depended on me like this or loved me the way I know my daughter already does. She may not be able to say the words, but she tells me so when she reaches a chubby fist out to me or smiles up at me like I’m her favorite person in the world. But that usually only comes after she has her bottle and her belly is full and happy.
I didn’t know shit about being a father the day our daughter came into the world, but I’ve learned to watch Jade and follow her lead. She’s the best damn mother anyone could ever have.
And while I may never be the perfect father or husband, all I can do is try to show my girls how much I love them each and every moment of their lives.
The End
Thank you so much for reading Knox!
While this is the last book in the Out of the Cage series, you may see the fighters again in my upcoming MC series. Look for Chase: A Savage Kings MC Novel soon!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
New York Times bestselling author Lane Hart was born and raised in North Carolina. She continues to live in the south with her husband, two daughters, and several pets named after Star Wars characters.
When Lane's not writing or reading sexy novels, she can be found in the summer on the beaches of the east coast, and in the fall watching football, cheering on the Carolina Panthers.
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