"Hey, Jay!"
"How's my favorite sexy Wesco babe today? You get tired of that new boyfriend yet?" smiling and leering were my trademarks, as I said. I gave her my best leer making an obvious attempt to see her ass behind the counter. She smiled back mostly ignoring me as usual.
"Great and no. We've only been together a month. It usually takes me two months to tire of a guy," she joked back at me. I handed her my debit card, she handed it back pointing at the swiping machine in front of me. Whatever. I swiped it and let it do its magic of account depletion. I eyed these machines with distrust. Right now big brother knew I was in Wesco talking trash.
"Hey, Jay. I thought I was your favorite sexy Wesco babe." That from Bridget who was operating the cash register next to Ashley's. A glass divider of donuts separated them.
"You're all my favorite sexy Wesco babes, Bridget." I smiled and leered at her too. "Hey, is that a new pair of jeans you're wearing? Turn around so I can get a better look."
"Ha ha very funny and no way." But I had her laughing. Bridget had been recently engaged, but now was no longer. She caught her fiancé dipping into too much of the good stuff. Unfortunately, the good stuff he was dipping in was not her good stuff. That was the crazy thing because she was smoking hot with a capital H. Hell maybe he was gay. Therefore, I made it a practice to make her laugh as much as possible lately. Eventually, she would get over him and then, hell you never know.
Ashley handed me my receipt and as I reached for it I gently clasped her fingers with mine giving her the old deep soulful look in the eyes trick. She shook her head giggling and snatched her hand back, but slower this time than she had the last. I grinned and she wiggled her ass but did not turn around so I could get a better look. Damn it to hell, I left the store rolling my eyes to giggles.
When I bought my place five years ago, my original idea was a nice little homestead just out of city limits with an equally nice stand of timber for firewood, while still being large enough that my wife and I could later subdivide for the kids as starter homes, if and when the economy ever took a major shit. I had no idea they would build a Wesco across the street and down a block a year after the sale. Since then a long trail of other businesses had opened up south of the Wesco taking advantage of the traffic a Wesco and Highway 37 can give them.
Well, the wife was now an ex-wife, the city had tried twice to annex us and we barely held out both times. My property was now worth quite a bit if I ever decided to get it rezoned as commercial. My lawyer can attest to the figure when we had it appraised for the divorce proceedings. Ouch! What the hell? You deal with what the gods give you. It was only twenty-one acres but all hardwoods and big ones. I was careful not to cut down any of the frontage trees. They were my cover. In the limited time it was mine, I had added a shooting range and an underground shelter.
Do not ask me why my ex-wife doesn't know about the shelter. She does not. I had built it during the three months she was in South America two years ago with the kids. Then finished the interior and stocked it mostly while she was at work or in Maryland visiting friends. I did not really see a need to bring it up during the divorce. After all, she was already getting the lion's share of our combined estate. It was totally hidden and had escaped her detection. An evil laugh escaped me.
This new Wesco had the best looking female staff in the area. Definitely selective hiring by the manager, God bless him. I enjoyed going in to do a bit of light flirting even though they were all twenty years younger or more than my mid forties. Hey, what the ex-wife didn't know wouldn't hurt her I figured, besides they all had boyfriends or husbands. Well not all of them did now. Another evil laugh escaped me.
"Hear me my friends! This is an election that will go down in history." Dean's voice lowered and gained emphasis with his next comments. "Never before except at the founding of this great nation. This great God Fearing Nation! Given to us by God! Never before have so many different peoples of faith and ideology come together to oust that Marxist Communist would be dictator in the White House." His voice suddenly rises sharply. "YES! You are sending a message to all those left wing radicals out there! God IS among us! His faithful have put aside their differences great and small to come together with one voice. As one people!" Dean's melodious voice carried on...
I grinned to myself as I heard the tears in Dean's voice. I was quite sure if I had been tuned into DSTV online and watching, he would be removing his glasses to wipe his eyes. He was most definitely on a roll this morning. Good for him. Since they repealed the twenty-second amendment to the constitution last year, in a rare show of crooked bipartisan support, it was looking more and more like it would soon be King Johnson instead of mere President. I sighed, putting the SUV into drive as I headed south to Pete's Convenience store.
Pete was my man. Well, actually he owned and ran a convenience liquor store along with his wife Sandy. They were the greatest, friendliest down to earth people you ever met. Pete and I were best friends or thereabouts. We shot together and occasionally I went to their church on Sundays with them. Our kids were in the same school and best of all we had the same conservative values and work ethics. Not to mention Sandy had a very nice rack on her for a middle-aged woman, not that I would tap that thing if ever offered it, however she was nice to look at even if a bit older. Yeah, that's my chauvinism poking out. I can’t help judging women by their looks first, then personality, and then brains. That's how God made man I like to believe, because it gets us in trouble an awful lot and I live for trouble.
The program interrupted for a special news alert. "We interrupt this broadcast to bring you news live from Washington D.C. where the Secretary of Homeland Security is addressing the nation." Another voice immediately followed the announcers. "The Department of Homeland Security is issuing a national advisory warning. The flu virus had officially reached epidemic proportions within the continental United States and there are widespread reports of looting and vandalism going on in most major cities and some smaller rural communities. We are issuing an advisory warning for all individuals to stay in their homes during the current crises. This applies to everyone not associated with civil law enforcement, emergency and crises workers or medical personnel. If you must report to work, do so cautiously, as we have received reports of roving bands and some of the encounters with these criminals have been quite deadly. Please wear facial protection when going outdoors and communicating with other individuals. The CDC has also issued a report that the flu has now infected over a third of the population of the United States. There are also reports of some mutations of the flu virus causing an increase in mortality rates. We strongly urge all citizens to stay indoors until authorities have brought this contagion under control. Please my friends, this is for your safety. Stay indoors." The announcer came back on when the Homeland Security Secretary was finished and said the normal broadcast would resume. I turned it off since I was already parked at Pete's and needed to get moving.
"Pete!" I hollered, as I breezed through the door into the warmth of the store. Sandy was operating the register. She smiled at me and gave a short wave. Yeah, pretty sure, she wanted the big Jay tube steak but no way I’m doing that to the wife of one of my best buds. I winked at her. Staying focused on the main priorities of kids, job, sex and friends in that order kept me sane. Or was it friends then sex? Or maybe sex then job? I don’t know, but I had tons of fun with it, let me tell you.
"Hi, Jay!" She said shyly, dropping her gaze. For a chick in her forties, she was a fine looking woman.
I smiled back and headed towards the back, as Paul not being up front by his wife, indicated he was in the stock room. I barged in seeing him stacking boxes of liquor against the cooler wall. What the hell, I gave him a hand and grabbed the next obvious box and started stacking with him. He also smiled at me but in a very different way than his wife had and said, "Hi Jay!" Obviously, they read each other's scripts. Good friends are very hard to find and even though I reluctantly realized deep down his wife crav
ed what only God had gifted Jay, I knew it was not going to happen. Like I said, I lived for this inane juvenile shit and it kept my mind crisp and sane. Whether or not there was any truth to it, was beside the point.
"What up Pete?!" I exclaimed, grunting under a case of Jack Daniel’s and carefully placed it on top of the next box along the wall. This was normal, helping Paul. Whether an electrical problem or software problem or even stocking I had done it all for him. Our kids shot together at the Sportsman's Club and we were most definitely very good friends. In return for my occasional help he sold me liquor at wholesale prices, which were roughly half retail. I'm pretty sure what he sold me for cash ended up as a mark off to five fingered discount goods but what the hell, who cared anyways, as taxes had been sucking the life out of all of us since the election before last. Don't get me started; it's hard to stop on that subject.
"You better gas up, Jay. We heard there would be another big price increase today." I groaned thinking not another one. At over seven bucks a gallon, gas was too expensive already and ever since the last election, the price of gas had been steadily rising. Our dependence on foreign oil was increasing daily, and boy, were they taking advantage of it. Yeah, I know I am repeating myself on, 'ever since the last election', but everybody did that and nothing changed.
"Not to worry Pete. I gassed up at Wesco like I normally do. You know I can't pass up a chance to say hi to the girls over there." Pete also sold gas but his was a penny more a gallon. Not that at its current price it made much of a difference, but by gassing up at Pete's I would miss an opportunity to flirt with those cute younger girls at Wesco.
Pete paused in mid lift and gave me the eye. "Those young girls over there will get you shot or give ya a heart attack." Having said his moral piece, he placed the box on the others and reached for another without losing stride.
"Hey! I'm innocent." I held up both hands in mock protest. "I'm not sampling the menu, but I am trying to read it in Braille." I grinned at him. He gave up with a roll of the eyes and a shrug. He was much more Christian than I was. I liked my kids being around his, the good morals and all that.
"Hey, are we still on for Thursday, buddy?" We normally went shooting Thursday late mornings. He was actually starting to get good with that .22 of his. He still sucked at the pistol but we were working on it. I was hoping he would qualify to be on my team for the pistol competitions next spring. I had worked with him until he could hit the bowling pins almost every time. At only fifteen feet, many people found hitting them with a pistol to be an extreme challenge. I could almost do it blindfolded. Not sure why some men like me were good with guns and most were not. I had found the same thing to be true in the USMC. Qualifying with the rifle was mandatory or you stayed at that week in remedial boot camp until you did, or eventually they kicked you out. The pistol was optional and only 'familiarization’ was required in boot camp. I found there was a reason for that. Oh, I didn't mean myself. I was deadeye dick with all my pistols so I found it amazing how many people literally could not hit the broad side of a barn. Not even if they were leaning up against it, which was weird in a kind of supernatural way.
"You bet Jay. Looking forward to it!" He replied. I used logs cut to the height of a bowling pin and with the thickness of the neck, which made them skinny, by most standards. Painted white they made great practice pins at my home range. I made up some special ones for Pete that were overall the thickness of the main body of a bowling pin from top to bottom. He was still having trouble. We would get through it I was sure. Practice was all it took.
"By the way, did you hear the latest news? A special report just came over the radio that doesn't sound good."
"No. What do you mean doesn't sound good?" I filled him in and told him to be careful. Great friends are hard to find. Know what I mean?
"Look I gotta scoot. My baby's still sick and I don't want to be gone long.” I grinned as I left the back room to his wave. I heard Pete holler behind me that he hoped she was better soon and I winked again as I walked past Sandy by the front door, then paused cocking an eyebrow holding out my arms for a possible hug. She smiled again waving the forefinger of her right hand back and forth at me and mouthed 'never!’. I shrugged. Way back, she had let me hug her during a moment of excitement when Pete and I came in third place in a rifle match. While she had intended that whole arms shoulder hug thingy that women do with just friends, I had taken full advantage of the situation and gotten in a lightening quick full body breast to belly mash hug before she could escape my clutches. Obviously, she had not forgotten and made damn sure I kept my distance. She did push a large box that was on the counter towards me and pointed at it indicating it was my stuff. I grabbed it and out the door I went, theatrically sighing at her lack of hug trust.
My booze safely tucked in the back I swung by Save-A-Lot, which I do several times a week to buy food. People think you are weird when you buy a month's worth of groceries at one time, so I paced myself. My Wednesday routine was grabbing two twenty-pound bags of rice, four cans of coffee, two gallons of milk and other miscellaneous items including another case of tuna, and after paying for them headed home. No flirting with the female clerks here, as they all needed massive makeovers for sure. Well, actually a full makeover after being locked in a weight loss center for six months. Okay, I’ll be honest, perhaps a year and six months at the weight loss center.
Fearing the flu and wondering how long we would be sequestered at my place, I decided to screw convention and loaded up with a bunch of juice, bread, eggs and quite a few other things including a case of canned hams. I swear my cart was piled two-feet over the top. Actually more, and I was almost afraid to move it. For some reason the cashiers did not give me any grief over it either. That was when I noticed quite a few people were really stocking up. I guess the flu was scaring everyone.
On the way back to my place, I stopped at the local small engine repair shop. They also sharpened chainsaw blades and I had five to pick up. I had dropped them off two days earlier and Paul got cranky on unpaid bills. Even bills two days old.
"Hi Cathy, you need some help? Here let me give you a hand." Walking in I found Paul's one helper Cathy standing on a four foot ladder reaching for overhead stock. I started towards her with an eager smile on my face.
She twisted around and suddenly I was staring at a finger in my face. I backed off slightly. "Hell no, Jay! No way am I letting you help me. The last time I let you help, my ass got grabbed."
"Hey. My hand slipped. How long are you going to hold that against me?" I said in a plaintive voice. She has a great ass.
She placed her hands on her hips giving me a mock glare. "It wasn't the plural hands on my ass, it was you squeezing them several times," she winked, "And the answer to your question is a very long time. I'm married."
“Oh My God!" I exclaimed in shock. Throwing my hand up to my chest in a semblance of righteous indignation, I continued, "There I was gripping the only thing available to me, keeping you safe from a bad fall and probable death or dismemberment and I'm slandered, absolutely slandered. You're a mean woman, Cathy." I’m telling you, I seriously put some emotion into my plea or tried too.
She stated laughing and got my blades. I paid with cash, as Paul preferred it. No comment there on that cash only practice.
***
My daughter has the TV on too loud when I walk in the house, arms loaded down with groceries. It takes me a number of trips to get everything in the house this time. Maybe I got carried away. I hear some announcer coming over the TV, just the sound, not making out many words. Then the emergency warning sound came over the voice. Like the kind you get during a tornado warning. That emergency broadcast warning tone. All three kids are in the living room and I glance at the receiver seeing the channel set to sixty-six, which was Disney. What I see instead is red bands across the top and bottom of the screen and a typical news announcer waiting for the warning to end so he can speak again. I say ‘Hi’ to the kids and they started complaining
about the interruptions to their cartoons when the warning sounds stop and the announcer’s voice picks up again. I hush them so I can hear.
"For those of you just tuning in let me repeat. It is imperative that all citizens stay inside their homes until further notice. Do not travel or leave your homes unless it is a medical emergency. Anyone with flu like symptoms should immediately go to your nearest hospital or medical facility and seek treatment. I repeat. Stay in your homes unless you have a medical emergency. There have been reports of large numbers of deaths associated to the flu virus and the President of the United States has declared the country in a state of National Emergency until further notice."
Holy shit, I thought. I had never heard of that happening before and it had only been a half hour since the last warning. I kept listening.
"Do not under any circumstances let strangers into your home, especially if they look sick or have any noticeable fluids on their clothing or skin. There are facilities being prepared to handle refugees. Reports coming in from some of the major cities tell of widespread violence as feverish flu victims attack their fellow citizens. There have also been reports of some deaths associated with the vaccinations but everyone is to stay calm. Lock your doors and stay inside. Law enforcement is responding to emergencies and the President has signed an executive order calling up the National Guard to maintain order during this crisis."
He started to repeat himself, reading from the paper in front of him and I tuned him out. I grabbed the remote and switched it to FOX seeing a variation of the same thing being broadcast. Then to NBC, ABC, CNN but it didn't matter. The emergency broadcast was on every channel.
There was a pounding at my back door. What the fuck?! I about jumped out of my skin at the sound and then felt like slapping myself when rounding the corner to the back room; I saw that it was just Michael, my cop neighbor from the house next door. Actually, Michael was practically my only neighbor within shouting distance. He looked frantic and he opened the door and came in when he saw me.
Blood, Brains and Bullets Page 3