by Michele Hauf
“Just out back.” He grabbed the baby sling, fitted Peanut against his chest, and headed outside.
And Mireio finally let the teardrop fall that had been threatening since she’d realized Lars had fallen and hurt himself. Had he been holding Peanut at the time, the baby could have gotten hurt too. Was the man degenerating so quickly? Did he need someone around to watch him? A caregiver?
Heartbeats thumping, she pressed a fist over her chest and shook her head. She would be that caregiver if he asked. But she knew he would never ask. And she didn’t want to make the man feel more helpless than he likely already did.
Navigating Lars’s right to privacy and need to ignore his disease was a tough situation. And it would only grow more difficult.
Could she do this?
* * *
After supper Lars helped Mireio wash the dishes then, after she’d folded the drying towels over the sink, he took her in his arms and hugged her. “Sorry,” he said. “It’s how I’m dealing with this...stuff. For now.”
“I get it. But allow me to stumble as I’m dealing with it too?”
“Of course. I’ll try not to be such an asshole from now on.”
“No, you’ve every right. I mean, not to be an asshole, but to be as unsure about how to deal with your feelings as any man would be. I can take it. I’m a big girl.”
He squeezed her hand, then smiled. Just a little. “A big girl?” His eyes focused on her chest. “That you are.”
“Oh! I have a surprise for you. For us, actually. We’ll need two forks.” She grabbed the bag she’d left by the door because it hadn’t needed to go in the fridge and pulled out the white bakery box. “I didn’t make this, but I know it’ll be good. It’s called triple chocolate decadence.”
He held up two forks. “Deal me in.”
Mireio sat on the couch, before which Peanut lay on the floor on his stomach. She opened the box and the sides folded down to make a plate. Lars sat next to her and kept both forks.
“This looks like mine,” he said taking the makeshift plate from her. “Where’s yours?”
“I only want a few bites. I think there’s enough sugar in there to keep me awake for two days.”
He forked the first bite and then turned to feed the next bite to her. The soft chocolate frosting melted on her tongue and she groaned.
“That good?” he asked.
She nodded. “But not better than sex.”
He tried a few more bites and nodded in agreement. “But very good.”
On the floor, Peanut suddenly rolled to his back and kicked his legs and arms.
“Hey! He’s getting good at that,” Lars said. “He’ll be crawling soon. Probably before the book says he will. My kid is smart.”
Mireio dashed her finger through the frosting and leaned over the baby. “Let’s see if he likes chocolate.”
“Wait!” He grabbed her wrist. “I don’t know. He’s not on solid food yet.”
“I’m just going to put a little on his tongue. Let him taste. Okay?”
He considered it and she almost sat up and licked it off herself, but then he said, “Sure. A taste can’t hurt.”
“You’re very protective of him.” She touched her finger to Peanut’s mouth and the baby tongued at it. “I like that about you. So fierce in everything you do, be it chopping wood, helping me to track a vampire or taking care of your boy.”
He tilted his head against her shoulder and gazed up at her. “You forgot sex.”
“No, that was next on my list. You are a fierce lover.” She bent to kiss him and he dashed out his tongue to touch hers, giving her the sweet lush chocolate heat. “Mmm... More of that, please.”
He peeled off some frosting with his fork and when she thought he would feed it to her, he dashed it across her lips, smearing them with chocolate. And he quickly followed with a kiss that devoured her more thoroughly than cake.
But the baby cooing at their feet lured them both forward to find Peanut bright-eyed and giggling.
“I think he wants more,” she said.
“You’ve created a monster.”
“So he really does take after his dad?” She nudged him with a teasing elbow. “I mean that in the nicest way.”
“I’d better get him a bottle. He might go down early tonight. We did a lot of work out back today.”
“Is that so?” Mireio picked up the baby, bummed that Lars had taken the cake with him to the fridge. She wiped a smear of chocolate from Peanut’s mouth. “What did you and Daddy do today? Did you build something?”
“I finally got a building permit for the plans I handed in to the city. Soon as I get materials, I can start on the addition to the back of the cabin.” Lars forked in another bite of cake while he set the bottle in the pot on the stove. Then he picked up the last piece with his fingers and ate it all. “You’re right. That cake will have me flying high. Good thing I plan to stay up tonight.”
“So tell me what happens when you wolf out under the full moon? I know you wolves have to do it. It’s innate. But what do you do? Where do you go? Is there a werewolf party I’m unaware of?”
He laughed and joined her on the couch. When he held out his arms for Peanut she handed him over, knowing she’d have another chance later before bed to sit and feed him. The baby fit against Lars as if there were no other place he belonged. Truly Daddy’s boy.
Once Peanut started to drink, Lars flipped his long hair over his shoulder and sat back. Noticing his eye where the cut had been, she touched it. “It’s almost gone. Just a faint line now.”
“Normally that would have healed within minutes. I’m hoping getting my wolf on tonight will restore my fading strength. Maybe that’s all I need? To wolf out and race toward the moon?”
“Or toward a party?”
“There’s no party. We werewolves need to answer the call to the moon once a month or we get really fucked up inside. Our bodies need the shift. So we run and race and sometimes even catch small animals.”
“Seriously? Oh, I don’t want to know.”
“Then I won’t give you details. Once in a while Dean and I run into one another and we have a good tussle and then race along the hill. We can run for miles and miles without worry of getting close to humans. It’s why the compound is way out here.”
“You tussle? So you have a werewolf fight?”
“Yep. Sometimes I win, sometimes he does. It doesn’t get too nasty. And we always see each other the next day and bump fists. It’s our nature. We need that. Like what about you witches? You must have something that you absolutely need to do in order to live and exist?”
“Practicing our magic. Not letting it go stale. And...” She sighed.
“What? Tell me?”
“It’s just... I can’t.”
“You want to live forever. Who doesn’t?”
“I do, but some people aren’t given that chance. I’m so selfish.”
“Hey.” He kissed her but with Peanut in his arms it was only a brush of his mouth over hers. Always delicious, though. “It’s what you want. It’s what you need. Don’t apologize for that.” In his arms the baby burped, and that ended the serious portion of their conversation.
And Mireio was thankful for that. “When are you going out?”
“In a couple hours. I like the sky to get really dark.”
“Despite the moonlight?”
“Exactly.” He stood and bounced as he patted Peanut’s back, mining for another release of gas. “I’d ask if you want to watch some TV before I go out, but I don’t have one. So that leaves sex.”
“Hmm...” She tapped her lips, making a show of giving it some good thought. “I suppose I could manage that.”
“You suppose?” He spun on her with a smiling gape on his face. “Well, if
you’re going to be that way.” He turned and bounced Peanut over to the crib.
Mireio stood and pulled her shirt off as she walked over to the bed. She slipped off her skirt and climbed onto the bed before Lars had turned around. And when he did, she pushed up the girls in her bra and winked at him.
Chapter 15
Making love with a baby lying not six feet away from their embrace didn’t bother Mireio. Why should it? Peanut was asleep. Parents across the world had been doing it forever. Not that she considered herself a parent, but it was hard not to feel parenty when around Peanut.
But right now, she felt like a lush, desirable woman as Lars, hands to the bed beside her shoulders and beard brushing her bare breasts, thrust inside her slowly. His eyes were closed in bliss. They’d both come once together. Now the slow and steady, stay together as long as possible, was happening.
His tense abs gleamed with the moonlight beaming through the window and onto the side of the bed, and she wondered if they might have had too much sex. Because on the night before and after the full moon, some werewolves chose not to shift. One day during the month was enough. But in order to keep back that urge to shift they had to have sex until they were sated. Lars seemed insatiable.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked. “You’ve got this curly smile on your face like you know more than everyone else.”
She pulled his hips toward her, urging his motions to speed up. “I was thinking how much you love sex. And how much I love having sex with you. But is this too much? Will you be able to shift later?”
“I’m already feeling the pull to shift. Don’t worry, it’ll happen. Just a little longer, please?” He bowed his head and nuzzled his beard across her nipple. “I like being inside you.”
“I like your big, thick cock making itself right at home. Stay there always?”
“As long as I can, lover. But I’m almost there...”
She put her hands to his forearms, which tensed and the veins bulged as he neared orgasm. Fashioned of steel and suede, this man. So sexy. And he smelled like chocolate and sex. Yet when he slammed his hips to hers and she awaited his climax, he suddenly pulled out.
He kissed her mouth and then rolled off the bed. “I gotta go. I’m feeling it.”
“But you didn’t come.”
“Can’t. Or rather, won’t. Gotta save my energy for the shift.”
“Do you want me to wait up?”
“No, I should be out all night. Make sure Peanut gets another nip in an hour?”
“I will.” She watched him stroll to the door, naked. Of course, he didn’t need clothes. “You don’t even bring along a towel or something?”
“Why?” He spread his arms, giving her a good long view of his physique. The muscles were steel, and his hard cock jutted upright. “I usually keep extra towels out in the bathroom. I can get dirty loping through the woods. Promise to shower before I come back in. See you in the morning.” He blew her a kiss, then left the cabin.
Mireio sat up on the bed and realized Peanut was lying awake in the crib. “He’s pretty awesome, your daddy. You’re one lucky baby.”
Peanut giggled and kicked his legs in response.
* * *
Lars leaned against the huge oak trunk where he had established a sort of base for his moonlight outings. He’d been standing here for—hell, he didn’t know how much time had passed, but it felt like an hour. A raccoon family had wandered past him, casting him shifty looks with their night-mirrored eyes. He growled at them, and they scrambled off.
He panted and shook his fingers and stomped his feet. The neuropathy wasn’t rearing up, but he couldn’t shift. What the hell? Normally the process was a seamless, minimally painful flow from human shape into werewolf shape. He’d done it hundreds of times since that first shift when he’d been a thirteen-year-old boy living with his adopted parents, Ridge and Abigail, at the compound. Shifting wasn’t even a second-nature thing. It was his nature.
So why couldn’t he do it now?
Had Mireio been right? Had he had too much sex?
That had to be it.
“Shoot.” He kicked the grassy forest floor with his bare foot.
He still had the night of the full moon. So tomorrow night he’d try again. And he’d have to keep his hands off Mireio to ensure nothing went wrong next time.
“That’ll be a challenge,” he said as he turned to march back to the cabin.
Ten minutes later, Mireio muttered a sleepy “Really?” She lay in bed, naked, the sheets not covering her beautiful breasts. Lars had checked on Peanut. Sleeping soundly in the crib. “You couldn’t...?”
“You were right,” he said as he slipped between the sheets beside her. But he didn’t snuggle up close. “I had too much sex. I’m going cold turkey until after the shift tomorrow night. You okay with that?”
“Sure.”
He kissed her forehead quickly, cautious not to touch her tempting breasts, then turned his back to her. When her fingers teased at his hip, he wiggled and scooted closer to the edge of the bed.
“Right,” she said on a yawn. “Touch not the wolf. See you—” Yawn... “—in the morning.”
* * *
The next night Mireio handed off Peanut to Lars, who wanted to tuck his son in before he went out to howl at the moon. There was something about the sight of a big, burly man rocking a little nugget of baby hugged against his chest and clutching his beard with chubby little fingers that made her ovaries quiver. Oh, mercy, she had it bad for the man and the baby. And the beard.
After Peanut was down, Lars kissed her. “We going to make another date to do some vamp hunting soon?”
“Uh, sure. But I’m still working on memorizing the spell. No rush.”
“I made a promise to you, Mireio. I will help you with the vampire. Just tell me when we’re good to go.”
She gave him a thumbs-up, and kissed him at the door. He’d not taken off his clothes in preparation to go out and shift. Because he didn’t want getting naked to make him even hornier than he was.
“See you in the morning,” he said and slipped out the door.
Tilting a hip against the doorframe, she watched him stride away and around the back of the cabin.
“The vampire,” she muttered. “I don’t think I can do it anymore. How can I? I can’t be so selfish. To ask a dying man to help me gain immortality?” She shook her head and sniffed back a tear. “I can’t do it. But I still want that vampire dead. By the goddess, what am I going to do?”
* * *
Around eleven, Mireio checked on Peanut. He’d been fussy after Lars had laid him down, but after carefully sliding her finger inside his mouth she’d felt the edge of a tooth he’d been working on for days. So the fuss had been well-earned. She hadn’t minded rocking and walking with him a little longer. Now she fluttered her fingers over his wild crop of black hair. So soft. She wondered if that’s how wolf cubs’ fur felt when they were little? Natural wolves, that is.
Werewolves gave birth to a human and the child was never actually a cub. They didn’t have their first shift until puberty. What if Lars’s son only ever remained human? With a human mother it was possible. Would it be a disappointment to the man? She couldn’t imagine anything about Peanut upsetting Lars. The two had already bonded. No matter what the future brought...
She winced, realizing how far she’d let her thoughts wander. Lars would never live to see his son experience his first shift. Maybe?
Could the doctor be wrong? So what if Lars did have some crazy mean disease. Maybe the degeneration part wouldn’t happen so fast as the doc expected? A few months? She’d known him almost a month. Time was moving too quickly. He had to have longer than that. And by all appearances he looked healthy. A strapping, fine man. What man could ever know when another would breathe
his last breath? People, no matter if they were human or paranormal, had no such powers. And to believe such a proclamation to death would only make it real.
“Bastard,” she muttered about the doctor. “He shouldn’t have given him an expiration date.” She could only imagine it must occupy his thoughts constantly. And it clawed at her insides that her proud man had been given a dark ending to a story she had only begun to create with him.
Tiptoeing over to the sink so as not to wake the sleeping baby, she quietly rinsed out the bottle and set it on the drying rack. Lars lived such a stark, simple life. No modern conveniences like a television or microwave or even a computer. He did have a cell phone, but she wondered about the Wi-Fi reception up here.
Not feeling tired, she decided to sit out on the front stoop for a while and listen to the crickets chirp. A blessing for the insects, and Lars’s bees, would cap off the night perfectly. But when she opened the screen door she found Lars sitting there, a towel wrapped about his hips, head bowed and hair concealing the side of his face.
She sat next to him and hugged up to his shoulder. “Did you have a good run? I thought you were going to be out all night?”
When he didn’t answer, her mind jumped to what could be the only reason he was not racing through the woods free and wild right now. “Oh, goddess. Again? You couldn’t...?”
She tilted her head against his shoulder and rubbed his forearm. And he reacted by wrapping an arm around her and pulling her in tightly against his bare torso.
“It’s crazy,” he said on a whisper. “I’ve never felt so...incapable. So small. This is not me, Mireio. How do I stop this? I don’t want to...”
She tightened her lips as they wobbled. Tears heated the corners of her eyes. This big strong man was being reduced to something lesser, and he was struggling. He was trying to fight back, but how to defeat the inevitable?