Mason laid next to me and laid his chin over my back. I didn’t like his display of dominance over me, so I tried to reverse our positions. We wrestled for the top position, but I was too tired to put up a good fight.
I refused to give up and yield to Mason, so I let out a growl to let him know I was done playing. He had me pinned down with his heavy weight, effectively trapping me. Austin trotted over and gave him a low warning growl to let me up.
I didn’t like that Austin had to intervene, so I pouted a little off to the side. Caleb came over and nuzzled me to show his affection, so I nuzzled him back. Cody laid on my other side, so I gave him a friendly nuzzle as well.
These wolves wouldn’t try to pin me down, unlike some others I could name. I shot Mason a glare to make myself feel a little better now that the largest wolf in the pack had my back. He was too busy being chastised by Austin to notice. Now I felt a little bad about getting him in trouble.
With Cody lying right next to me, our size differences were even more apparent. Cody wasn’t just large, he was huge. I think that most of the horror stories that humans had about werewolves were based on wolves like him. I’m pretty sure that if I had been human and ran into him in the forest I would have an accident in my pants.
Cody was always gentle with me and cautious about his large size. I could see why he was at the top of the pack hierarchy though, not many wolves would want to challenge him based solely on his size. I had a feeling that he was not as gentle with the other guys in the pack the way that he was with me.
After a few minutes of rest, Austin gave us a huff to let us know it was time to head back. I didn’t mind, I was more than ready to go home. We headed back at a slower pace and I thought about the plans we had made for later tonight.
The guys had agreed to be there for me when I said my final goodbyes to Evelyn and released her ashes into the ocean. That was going to be a very personal moment for me and I just didn’t feel comfortable doing it if Reagan was going to be there.
I was getting much better at feeling comfortable expressing myself when it was just me and the six guys here, but I still felt anxious at the thought of exposing my inner self to someone like Reagan. I wanted the comfort of my pack around me during a difficult time. I didn’t want an outsider judging me.
If anyone had told me a month ago what my life would be like now, I would have scoffed at them. I was still a little intimidated by Austin, and a little nervous around Cody but the twins and I had a level of friendship that I had not known was possible. The friendship that I had with Kelsey now seemed shallow and one-sided, I was actually starting to dread seeing her again.
I had never before had people in my life who did things simply because they knew it was something that I would like. The twins were always doing little things for me that showed me that they cared. They would pick up snacks that they knew I would like, or get a movie that I wanted to see.
I liked the feeling of belonging that they gave me. When I woke up in the morning I didn’t think about what I was going to do that day, I thought about what we were going to do.
I had also bonded with Caleb in some unexpected ways. We didn’t spend as much time together, but I had confided some of my deepest fears to him. I think that we understood each other on a more profound level because we had similar social difficulties.
I think his difficulties stemmed from being treated as an oddity for most of his life whereas mine were from… other issues. He never pressed me for details about my past. We were both focused on how we could better ourselves for the future.
Austin’s golden coat caught my eye as he suddenly stopped and perked his ears up. He had a look in his eye that said he was communicating with the others via pack bond. No one looked alarmed, so I just sat down to wait. I really wish he would let me into the pack bond so I wasn’t sitting here clueless at times like this.
I was still a little intimidated by Austin deep down. He was always well dressed and polished, plus he had something about him that commanded respect. When he walked into a room everyone stood a little straighter. It might have been because he was the pack-master, but it seemed like more than that. He was without a doubt a born leader and being around him could sometimes make me feel a little lacking.
I tried to use my feelings of inadequacy as motivation. I wanted to be the type of female that the other guys would be proud to have in their pack. I needed to be more confident in who I was and reconcile that with what the pack needed in a female.
I had realized that I put myself down more than anyone else did. I had internalized the voice of my uncle and was continuing to torment myself with his words. I had been told I was worthless so often that deep down I still believed it. I needed to see myself as a successful, confident woman if that’s what I wanted everyone else to see. I was letting my own hang-ups get in the way of my happiness.
As much as Reagan had irritated me, I was glad that she had come. I had received a crash course in what would be expected of me from other packs, plus I now knew more about the role I would play in the pack as the top female.
Austin started to trot back in the direction of the house and the rest of us followed. No one looked like they were in a hurry, so I guess whatever message that Austin had received was not urgent. When we got back I trotted to my space to change back and get dressed.
The twins were waiting for me outside. Jason was lighting a fire in the center of the big table, so I took a seat.
Mason mussed my hair. “We’re going to stay out here for a couple minutes, Austin has to take care of Reagan.”
Jason rolled his eyes. “It’s going to take more than a couple minutes.”
I smiled at them in amusement. It was going to take more than a few minutes.
“Do you think we could sneak in the kitchen for marshmallows?” I asked. Toasting marshmallows over the fire sounded perfect right about now.
Jason’s eyes lit up. “If you go in, get stuff to make s’mores.”
“And beer.” Mason added.
I rolled my eyes. “One of you needs to come with me to help carry all that stuff. I only have two arms.”
“Uggg, fine.” Jason said.
I stood up and headed to the patio door cautiously. It didn’t look like anyone was in the kitchen, from what I could see through the glass. I stood up a little and straightened my shoulders. Why was I creeping around in fear? This was my house and my pack, Reagan should be tiptoeing around me.
I tried to look confident as I strolled into the house with the twins following behind me. I knew they were only letting me lead the way so that I would be the first person Reagan saw if we ran into her. I really needed to work on making my pretend confidence into real confidence. I might joke about defending my males, but it seemed like it really was something that I needed to do. Especially since there was no doubt in my mind that they would not hesitate to defend me from other males.
Mason opened the door for me and we filed inside quietly. We walked through the kitchen when the faint sound of voices drifted to us. Mason and Jason looked at each other, obviously communicating. I really needed Austin to let me into the pack bond.
Jason put his finger up to his lips in a signal for me to be quiet. I followed the two of them as they silently crept through the kitchen and dining area before stopping by the doorway that led out to the foyer and stairway.
I closed my eyes as I leaned against the wall and focused on taking deep breaths. If I wanted to hear what was being said I was going to have to tap into my stronger wolf senses. I reached deep down inside myself to where I kept everything that made me a wolf packed down tight in a little ball.
I cautiously reached down. Instead of simply releasing the energy that would allow me to shift, I tried to follow Mason’s directions and tap into only the part that I needed.
I focused on my senses and tried to expand them using my newfound energy. Suddenly, everything came into sharp focus. I could pick up on the scents of Mason and Jason, close by to m
e, along with the lingering scents of pool water and food from the kitchen.
The voices that we had been listening to also came to me with clarity. It was Austin and his mother speaking. I tried to hold back my grin of delight at my success and focus on their words, but Mason picked up on it. He must have realized why I was grinning because he gave me a warm smile and a shoulder bump.
I tuned in what was being said in the other room.
“-council wanted you to stay?”
“I decided that I’m no longer needed here.” She gave a sigh. “You know I don’t like being here anymore than you like having me.”
“Mother…” I could just imagine Austin giving her an exasperated look.
“Now, let’s talk about this female that you have found for yourself.”
“Well, she’s not really my female yet.”
I turned red, feeling uncomfortable with listening to this conversation.
“She’s quite beautiful.” His mother stated. “But I have some concerns. You need to think about what kind of children she can give you. Beauty isn’t everything; you want your children to be intelligent as well.”
I could see Jason holding in his laughter as he looked at me with mirth in his eyes. I didn’t want to give away our presence so instead of smacking his arm I gave him a pinch. He rubbed his arm, but his smile didn’t fade at all. Mason scowled at both of us and motioned for us to be quiet.
“Mother, Anna is quite intelligent. She actually has a doctorate degree.”
His mother snorted, “She doesn’t seem to have much common sense. The poor girl couldn’t even manage to dress herself properly this morning.”
I started to fume. Just because I didn’t wear fancy clothes like her didn’t mean I wasn’t intelligent. It just meant that I was… casual? Lazy?
I sighed. Maybe I should try to make more of an effort with my appearance if it was really that important.
“I already told you that she didn’t grow up around wolves, Mother. She was raised by humans, so she is going to be a little different than other females.”
“So how is she going to raise your children properly, Austin? You need to think about these things.”
“You’re out of line, Mother.” I was starting to hear frustration in Austin’s voice.
“You are not thinking about the big picture, Austin. She is not good enough for you and she is not good enough for this family. Now, Jessica-“
“Enough!” Austin shouted.
There was silence for a moment. The sound of a vehicle pulling up to the house cut into the silence and broke the tension.
Mason gave my hand a squeeze and motioned for us to go back into the kitchen. I tried to push all of her words out of my head. I already knew that she felt that way, it’s not like it came as a surprise to hear her say it. And yet… I still felt hurt.
I grabbed the marshmallows while Mason took some beers out of the fridge and Jason got our s’mores supplies and metal skewers for toasting over the fire. We quietly went back outside and sat in front of the fire.
Jason cleared his throat. “You know, I wasn’t laughing at you.”
I looked up at him to see worry in his eyes.
“I know, Jase.”
“I thought it was funny that she was so wrong about you. You are one of the smartest people I know.”
“I think you would make a great mom.” Mason added.
I turned bright red. “Um…”
“Obviously, not right now.” He added quickly.
Jason laughed out loud. “You pretty much just said you want to impregnate her.”
Mason punched him in the arm with a scowl. “She knows what I meant.”
I giggled. I did know what he meant. He meant that Reagan was wrong about everything and that he cared about me. How could I be upset about that?
Mason looked relieved when he saw me smile.
I held out a hand to Jason, “Skewer?” He handed one over and I aggressively stabbed a marshmallow before holding it over the fire. Mason passed a beer my way after popping off the top for me.
I started to relax, I was out here with two of my favorite people and Reagan was on her way out the door. If I let myself be upset I would just be ruining time that I could be having fun, I needed to let go of all the doubts that she had just reinforced in my mind. If Austin didn’t want me here, then I wouldn’t be here. The guys had all made it clear that they wanted me in the pack. I had nothing to worry about.
Chapter 3
Austin
I could feel the twins close by as I argued with my mother. It wouldn’t surprise me if they were listening in. But wherever the twins were, Anna wouldn’t be far. I sighed. She had been making so much progress with us that I didn’t want her to overhear this and have a setback.
“Enough!” I finally shouted at my mother. I hated raising my voice at her, but she was not going to stop and would keep berating me until I gave in. That was not going to happen.
Anna was everything I could want in a female. I saw her disregard for fashion and the trappings of wealth as a plus, not a negative. I loved how she could be happy with a burger and a beer just hanging out with us guys.
I had no doubt that if she did have children, she would teach them what’s really important in life: family, pack, love, and acceptance. The last thing I wanted was a female exactly like my mother. I loved her, but she was too focused on appearance and status.
I heard the car pull up outside the house. Rich had already warned me that two men sent by my father were at the gate. I was a little surprised that my father had sent someone to come get her so quickly, but my guess was that he had the guys who brought her here to stay close exactly for this reason.
I opened the door to find John and one of the other errand boys for the council. I scowled at the sight of them. John had a grin on his face, which meant trouble. John never smiled unless he was causing someone pain or discomfort.
“I didn’t expect to be greeted by the pack-master himself.” John drawled.
“You’re here for my mother?” I asked doubtfully. These were not the same men my father had sent earlier. I knew for a fact that my mother hated John. It was unlikely that my father would have sent him for her.
“Oh, we were actually already on our way here.” The asshole grinned. “You gonna invite us in?”
I waved an arm to allow him and his associate inside. Reagan’s scowl matched my own. She was obviously not happy to see them.
“I’m not going anywhere with them,” she announced.
I sighed and raised an eyebrow at them, waiting to hear why they were really here.
John seemed to enjoy dragging this out. “Reagan, how lovely to see you again.”
She sniffed. “That’s Mrs. Zilker to you.”
He held his hand to his heart. “Ouch, you wound me.”
I was losing patience with this. “What is it that you wanted?” I asked him gruffly.
He snapped his fingers. “Oh, that’s right!” He dramatically pulled out a letter with the council’s seal on it.
I held out my hand for it and he started to hand it to me, but pulled it back. “Where is the lovely Anna tonight? I enjoyed meeting her earlier.”
I held back from snarling at him the way that I wanted to. I was not going to give him the reaction he wanted.
“The letter?” I asked politely.
He chuckled but handed it over. I opened it up and my heart dropped when I read the words.
“I’m going to retire for the evening, Austin.” My mother interrupted. “You can have someone take me home in the morning.”
She completely ignored the two men standing in front of me and headed up the stairs. That didn’t faze John at all; I think he enjoyed the reaction he got from her.
“Are you going to produce him or not?” John’s companion asked. I just glared at him in response. He wasn’t as tough as John because he dropped his eyes and took a step back after meeting my gaze.
“You can hand ov
er the wolf that the council is requesting, or you can try to fight us. I’m hoping for the fight, but I have to warn you. If you fight this, the council will no longer be comfortable with you having custody of the female. We can’t have her being influenced by a rebel pack.” John told me with a gleeful smile.
I tapped a finger on the letter thoughtfully. There was no way that I was willing to hand over any of my wolves to these two. I didn’t trust them at all.
“I will be escorting my wolf to the council myself.” I told them quietly. “You may follow us to provide security while we are on the road.”
John looked surprised but disappointed. “Fine.” He growled. “But no delays, we have a schedule to keep to.”
I stepped closer to him, forcing him to look up to keep my gaze. “I think you must be confused about this situation.” I let him feel the full weight of my stare. “I am the pack-master here and you are on my territory. If you cannot be respectful, then you can leave.”
He held my gaze for two heartbeats before dropping his eyes. This was a man who was not used to being challenged. It was a mistake for anyone to give this man power over anyone; he would abuse it and twist it to his advantage.
I called for James and Cody with the pack bond. James was the first to arrive and I handed him the letter without a word. His eyebrows rose as he skimmed it.
“Really?” He asked with an incredulous scowl.
Cody was next to arrive. James passed the letter to him with a glower. Cody’s face darkened as he read it and he glared at our two visitors. John held his ground but swallowed nervously. Cody was a mountain of a man and could be quite fearful when he turned his wrath on you. It didn’t happen often, but Cody’s feral side could come out when someone he was protective over was threatened.
I thought it was best not to relay John’s vague threats against Anna to either James or Cody. The situation was already tense enough without the added threat to our female.
Finding the Fire Within Page 6