by Erin M. Leaf
* * * *
Jake finished marking something on a piece of paper and then looked around stealthily, making eye contact with Duncan on stage. He jerked his head, motioning towards the dressing room, and Duncan nodded. They both felt Emma’s worry. Jake didn’t know what to do, but he couldn’t think of anything he wanted more right now than to hug his best friend. He walked to the room and opened the door, looking in satisfaction at the sofa and the bottled water on the table next to it. Duncan’s costumes hung from the racks in the corner and the dressing room table mirror was lit and ready, opposite the couch tucked against the back wall. He felt a moment’s peace at the quiet then the worry about the bonding came rushing back in.
“Hey, man, what’s up?” Duncan walked in and shut the door behind him. He locked it. Jake flinched at the click.
“You know what’s up.” Jake sighed and dropped onto the old sofa. He felt the springs protest beneath him and winced, hoping that the worn cushions wouldn’t give out tonight. Duncan sat down beside him and put his hand on Jake’s neck, gently massaging the muscles until the tension began to dissipate. Jake pointedly ignored the spark of heat he felt at Duncan’s proximity. He wasn’t ready to deal with that yet, and Duncan was too smart to bring it up in conversation, especially now, what with the bonding and Emma’s freaking out. They could feel her from a hundred miles away.
“I know,” Duncan sighed then let his hand fall away. He rubbed at his eyes, breathing slowly in and out for a few minutes. Jake could feel the other man willing him to relax, and that almost made him panic all over again, but he knew that he had to get over it. He had the feeling that this was it, that this relationship with Duncan, and with Emma, his brain helpfully supplied, would be the last serious relationship he would ever have. And strangely, he realized that he wanted it. He wanted them both. He would just have to deal with the sudden and inexplicable attraction to a guy.
“Duncan,” Jake began, trying to think of a way to talk about what he was feeling before falling silent. He shouldn’t bring it up. Emma was still upset, and he had a feeling that if he opened that particular door they would need hours to talk, and they didn’t have the time. He needed to chill out and do his job so that the concert tonight ran smoothly. Then Duncan looked at him and smiled and Jake felt his heart stop for a moment. Jesus, he’s gorgeous, Jake thought, taking in the soft brown eyes and the traces of eyeliner smudged around them, leftover from yesterday. Duncan’s affection was evident in the way his eyes crinkled at the corners. His lips weren’t smiling, but Jake could see the telltale quirk on one side that said Duncan knew exactly what he was thinking and was amused. Jake pressed his lips together, realizing that Duncan did know, for real, and not just because they’d been best friends forever. Duncan could hear his thoughts. He smiled, sweet and sexy, and Jake felt himself blush.
Duncan’s eyes grew dark. “Jesus,” Jake breathed as the arousal built between. He had to shift position on the couch, let his legs fall open as his jeans grew increasingly tighter.
“Jake,” Duncan murmured, reaching forward to cup Jake’s cheek. He ran his thumb over his stubble, and Jake relished the gentleness of the gesture. It made him feel alive, made him think that this was real and that he wasn’t in it alone. Am I finally getting used to this? He closed his eyes and just breathed as he leaned into his friend’s touch. Duncan shifted closer and Jake’s cock jumped against his jeans so hard it made him fear for the fabric. When he opened his eyes, he finally let his arousal show on his face. Duncan swiped his thumb over Jake’s lips then took his hand back. “You know I’m not going to do anything you don’t want me to.”
“I know,” Jake said, dropping his eyes. He chuckled then reached down and adjusted himself. “I can’t deny what I feel, and I can’t hide it. This is like having a lie detector hooked up all the time, you know?”
Duncan laughed. Jake felt him resist the urge to just grab and couldn’t help smiling. His friend’s self-control was epic. “Yeah, I know,” Duncan said. Jake sent Duncan the spikes and sparks of his attraction across their connection before drawing back in an attempt to calm down.
“Even so—” Duncan started, his smile suddenly dropping away, but Jake interrupted, nodding.
“Yeah, even so, you’re still my best friend. We just have to figure out how to incorporate this into everything.”
“And what about Emma?” Duncan asked. Jake wondered what she was doing. He couldn’t tell really where she was, only that she was sitting down and she was absolutely exhausted after dealing with the debacle of the bonded students.
“And what about Emma?” Jake repeated, understanding perfectly. It wasn’t enough that he suddenly felt this thing for Duncan, oh no. He had to hook up with a third person, too. This is just how absurd my life is, he thought for a second, frustrated, before he caught Duncan’s compassionate look and felt his friend soothe away the edges.
“Stop it,” Duncan said, not unkindly. “She didn’t ask for this either and she’s scared out of her mind.”
“I know, I know, I’m an ass.” Jake let himself be comforted. He hoped Emma hadn’t caught his momentary panic but knew that she had. He sent a pulse of regret her way along with the equivalent of a mental hug. He felt her smile, faintly.
“This is really weird. I could feel you do that.” Duncan wrinkled his nose, and Jake tried not to think about how adorable that made him look.
“I know.” Jake laughed abruptly. “It’s not even difficult! How bizarre is this? It’s like the universe suddenly woke up and planted a great, big, honking love whammy on us.” He tried unsuccessfully to stifle his laughter.
Duncan shook his head, smiling unwillingly. “Look, I’ve got an interview in, shit, five minutes,” Duncan said, pulling his phone out of his pocket to check the time. Jake was already nodding. “Let’s just get through the rest of the night and take it as it comes, okay?”
“Yeah, except, you know Emma’s coming,” Jake said slowly. He didn’t know it would feel so strange to say it out loud, what they’d both been thinking for the past several days. Talking about it made it real, but Duncan just nodded.
“I know, and I think we should get some backstage passes to her.”
“How? We don’t even know where she’s sitting.” Jake stood and stretched to work the kinks out of his back. He felt Duncan watching him, and deliberately let a sliver of skin peek out between his low, tight jeans and T-shirt. Duncan smirked as Jake grinned at him. He might still be a bit uneasy with his newfound attraction to his best friend, but he always prided himself on his pragmatism. He refused to hide from the truth.
“I don’t know, but I think we should get one ready. Or two, actually. Most people don’t go to concerts alone, so she’s probably coming with that cute friend of hers, and yes, I know that you are an alien who likes to go to shows by yourself!” Duncan finished with a laugh before Jake could say anything. “And don’t try to deny it!”
Jake chuckled and looked around for his clipboard. There were a million details to work out before tonight’s concert. “Okay, I won’t. And I’ll get two passes together, give them to Dave.” Dave was their head of security for this tour and all around miracle worker.
“Maybe once Mizar starts playing we’ll be able to see where she is.” Duncan caught Jake’s skeptical look. “Hey, it’s possible! I know the place is huge, but maybe she’ll be close. And I’d bet that the closer she gets to us the better we’ll be able to sense where she is. So even if she isn’t close, I think we’ll be able to find her.”
His friend was right, Jake realized. He always knew where Duncan was, it was part of his job, but since the bonding marks showed up, Duncan almost always knew exactly where Jake was, too. He’d be playing and singing and then look off stage and wink, making Jake smile in the midst of the chaos. “Okay,” Jake said, licking his lips. The realization frightened him for some reason. He wasn’t sure why. He grimaced. Maybe I’m not as used to this as I thought I was?
Duncan stood up and gath
ered Jake into a hug. “Hey, hey, calm down, all right? You’re making me crazy here.” He tucked his friend’s face into his shoulder and Jake relaxed.
“I think I’m nervous about meeting Emma,” he mumbled into Duncan’s jacket.
“I know,” Duncan soothed. “I’m a little nervous, too.”
Jake looked at him skeptically. “Yeah, right. Dude, you never get nervous.”
Duncan smiled. “I know, but I can feel your anxiety. I can feel hers. It’s making me itchy.”
Jake shook his head then shoved at Duncan. “Don’t you have an interview or something? Like, five minutes ago?”
Duncan grinned and hugged Jake again. “I do, but you mean more to me than a stupid interview.” Jake couldn’t help smiling at this. He hugged Duncan back with all his strength.
Chapter 4
“I’m coming!” Emma called, poking her earlobe and then wincing as she missed the hole again. Stupid earring, she thought as she walked to the front door. “Why didn’t you just come in?” she asked as she opened the door for Julie. “You’ve been here enough times that you don’t need permission.”
Julie shrugged. “Habit, I think. Here, give me that.” Julie eyed Emma’s pink earlobe. “Why didn’t you just look in the mirror?” she asked as she maneuvered the silver wire through Emma’s piercing. She slipped the plastic backing onto the post then stepped back to flick at the dangling silver strands.
“I was in a hurry.” Emma looked around for her shoes. “I fell asleep after work and just woke up about fifteen minutes ago.”
“Seriously?” Julie raised her eyebrows. “How could you fall asleep? We’re going to see Duncan Green in concert!”
Emma shook her head. “I was exhausted.” She found her favorite purple suede heels and slipped them on, walking to the full-length mirror on the back of her bathroom door to see if they looked okay with the rest of her outfit. The slim, dark jeans looked good with her fitted purple blouse. The fabric was shiny and stretchy, and she loved the way the short sleeves made her arms look thin and pretty. What she liked best, though, were the silver snaps that held it closed instead of buttons. She couldn’t do anything to disguise her curves, but in this outfit she looked almost skinny, so she was pleased. The purple shoes complimented the black, and she slipped on the thick silver bracelets she’d set out earlier. Her hair was loose, falling around her shoulders in soft waves, the silver from her earrings peeking out from between the strands. She’d actually broken open the mascara for once, highlighting the black liner she’d applied not five minutes ago. She wondered if she should cover up the marks on her arms then decided the bracelets hid them enough. Most people would just think she had a pair of very unique tattoos.
“I understand being tired, but Emma, aren’t you excited? I mean, you’re probably going to meet them, right?” Julie asked.
Emma fidgeted with her hair one last time, wishing she could avoid the question. “I know, Julie, I know. It’s just—” she sighed.
“You’re nervous.” Julie smiled and rubbed her friend’s arm compassionately.
“Yeah.” Emma sat down on her sofa. She looked at the pink nail polish that peeked through the open-toes of her shoes. “I mean, yeah, I was exhausted from the situation today at the school, then I was really nervous about the concert, then I just sat down and zonked out.” Emma carefully didn’t mention how she spent a good half-hour eavesdropping on Jake and Duncan while they had their little heart-to-heart in the dressing room. She didn’t think Julie would understand her fear. Her friend was a fan of Duncan’s and would probably love to be telepathically attached to the man. Emma, though, had spent most of her life alone. The sudden invasion of her mental privacy was as upsetting as it was comforting.
“Well, okay, I don’t know how you could sleep, but at least you’re rested and ready for the show! Come on.” Julie grabbed Emma’s hand and pulled her up. “Time to go!”
* * * *
Two hours later, Julie stopped her car in the parking lot a few blocks west of Madison Square Garden. Emma felt her stomach flip over and silently congratulated herself on having the good sense to not eat anything heavier than an apple for dinner.
“Oh my God, I’m so excited!” Julie said after they’d paid the attendant. “Look! You can see the Garden from here!” She pointed and Emma obediently looked down the street at the venue’s distinctive outline. “Do you see it?”
Emma grinned. “I see it, I see it! I’ve been here before, you know,” Emma teased, but Julie just laughed and grabbed her hand.
“Let’s go!”
Two blocks later they were walking past the tour trucks parked in back of the building. “Thank God the parking wasn’t far,” Emma remarked, trying not to get a heel wedged in the metal grates that dotted the sidewalk. “I can’t walk very far in these shoes.” She let Julie tow her toward the front entrance, trying to ignore the way Jake and Duncan felt in her head. The proximity made her even more aware of the two men. She could feel them as they moved around backstage, and the mental double-vision was making her dizzy.
“I told you it wasn’t far. That parking lot’s pricey, but it’s worth it.” Julie shoved them both through the crowds. They walked up the wide steps, and Julie tugged her towards the VIP entrance. “Come on, I think we’re supposed to go in here.” Emma balked and Julie pulled on her hand. “Oh relax, it’ll be fine! Seriously.”
Emma shook her head but stopped trying to hold back. Julie had no idea. Duncan and Jake knew she was there. She could feel their anticipation. Her heart tripped alarmingly, but she gamely moved forward with Julie, hoping everything would be okay. She laughed to herself as Julie showed the ticket attendant their paperwork. What did she think was going to happen? She knew they were nice guys. Even if they hadn’t taken up residence in her head, just watching the interviews she could find of them on the internet assured her they weren’t typical rock-star assholes. Most of the interviews she could find featured Duncan, but she’d managed to track down two that had Jake, including the infamous Oprah segment. She smiled as Julie tugged again, exasperated with Emma’s timidity.
“I’m pretty sure I’m going to throw up with nervousness,” Emma said when they finally broke through the crowds and into the hallway leading to the floor near the stage. “We’re practically on the damn stage here.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. And the lights shining in his eyes will make it hard for Duncan to see much in the audience. I’ve been in the front row here before, a few years back. Different concert.” Julie grinned, maneuvering them both down the rows of chairs. Emma tried to keep her feet as the number of people grew larger the closer they got to the front. She could feel the excitement in the air, and she took a moment to look up and out in the vast interior of the arena. There were ads scrolling along electronic billboards, and the noise level was near deafening just from all the people talking and milling around. She was abruptly glad she’d remembered her earplugs. “Hey, I think we made it in time for the opening act. Look, they’re uncovering equipment at the front of the stage.” Julie pointed, but Emma was too distracted to pay attention.
“Julie, they know I’m here.” Emma stumbled into her friend’s back when Julie finally halted. “They don’t have to see me.”
Julie swiveled around to look at her. “Um, seriously?”
“Yeah,” Emma replied, nervous. “I can feel them, too.”
“Holy shit, that is so cool.” Julie breathed, gesturing to the folding chairs right next to the stage. “I think those are our seats.” Julie began making her way through the people. “And, wow. I thought maybe it was just a burst here and there that you got or something, like a bad phone connection. You’re saying that you can feel them all the time?”
Emma nodded. “I mean, it’s not like television or anything. It’s more like having a stray thought in the back of your head, and if I concentrate, or one of them concentrates, it comes into focus. And I know things without knowing I know them, you know?” Emma explained
, sitting down with relief. She really wasn’t used to wearing shoes this high.
Julie stared at her then sat down too. “That is so weird. I mean, it’s cool, but it’s weird, too. Isn’t it weird knowing they can, what, feel you? See you?”
“Yes, exactly.” Emma was relieved that Julie was finally getting the idea. “That’s why I didn’t want you to tell anyone. I’m not used to this yet. I don’t know if I’m ever going to get used to it. And I have no idea how Jake and Duncan feel about it. It’s not like we’ve actually had a conversation.”
“So, you can’t, like, talk to them in your head?”
“No,” Emma replied. “At least not yet.”
Julie frowned. “What do you mean?”
Emma sighed. “Remember how those kids at school acted when their parents tried to separate them?” Emma asked. Julie nodded. “I have the feeling that it was physically painful for them to be away from each other. And remember, Duncan, Jake, and I haven’t actually met. What happens when we touch each other?”