Tony sounded like he couldn’t wait to get on with it. He was going on about how great Marco was, and how this was the opportunity they had all been waiting for, and how he was going to ditch his job, and blah blah blah. It was weird. This was the same bloke who wanted to kick off with Marco the other night, now he was talking like he was his new best friend. Another fucking loon!
Nick Black was calmer in his tone, but Nick could tell he was just as excited as Tony. Going on about travelling the globe and paying back uni debts. Nick wondered why anyone would waste their time at uni. It was a debt trap, and life just ended up passing you by in the meantime. And when life passes you by, so do its opportunities. And you didn’t get many of them. On that score, he could understand Nick’s excitement. Maybe the prick was finally realising this, and had been praying for someone like Marco to come along and hand him a pot of gold.
Maybe they all were…
He dialled Marco’s number, and it rang for a long time. And for a while, Nick had a horrible thought that maybe Marco had been playing them all along, and it was all some joke, and the number was fake, and the dream was dead, it hadn’t even got started and they all looked like mugs, especially him, and this twat Marco was hiding somewhere laughing at them, and thinking what a bunch of—
‘Yeah?’ came a voice on the other end of the line, chopping those negative thoughts down like a scythe through a field of wheat.
‘Marco?’
‘Yeah.’
Nick felt relief wash over him. ‘I thought you weren’t gonna pick up!’
‘Oh, Nick with the XR2.’
‘Yeah, it’s me. About that thing…’
‘You sorted it all out?’
‘Totally. All of us from the other night are in.’
‘Including your man who was a bit flaky?’
‘You mean Charlie.’
‘Yeah, Charlie…’
‘Including Charlie. And I got us an extra man as well.’
‘Cool. Has he got a motor?’
‘Taki? Yeah, he drives a Mini.’
‘Good. We’ll need him to create a diversion for us. Anyway, I don’t like to talk too much on the phone about this kind of stuff.’
‘Nah, me neither.’
‘So, get your boys ready, ’cos we’re doing this tomorrow.’
‘Tomorrow?’ Nick exclaimed.
‘Yeah. Problem?’
‘It’s a bit short…’
‘Like I said, I wanna get this done and dusted. It’s a Wednesday tomorrow. I’m guessing generally a pretty quiet day for visiting the dead.’
‘Won’t we need time to prepare?’
‘We can do that when we meet up tomorrow. Get your boys together in two cars and I’ll meet you at midday. We’ll sort out the plan then.’
Nick shrugged to himself. ‘Okay,’ he said, hoping Marco knew what he was doing.
‘You got a torch?’
‘Torch?’
‘Yeah, you know one of those things that shines light.’
‘Yeah, I can get one.’
‘Good. The bigger and brighter the better, ’cos that mausoleum’s got no windows, so it’s gonna be dark as fuck inside.’
‘I get you.’
‘And a bag. Quite a big one. One of those holdalls would be perfect.’
‘No problem.’ Then Nick remembered something. ‘Hey, how about clothes?’
‘Yeah, you’ll need clothes, it might be a bit cold.’
‘Ha ha. I meant masks and shit.’
Marco chuckled. ‘We’re tomb raiding, mate, not sticking up Nat West.’
‘Heh. Good point.’
‘Nah. Just come in plain clothes, the more inconspicuous the better. Just bring yourselves, two cars, and we’re cool. I’ll call you at midday to meet up and go over the plan. Don’t worry, it’ll be a piece of cake, mate. In, out, creamed.’
‘I hope you’re right.’
‘I know it,’ Marco replied. ‘See you tomorrow.’
He then hung up. Nick pushed ‘end call.’ He looked away, catching his reflection in the mirror on his wall; he stared at it, bemused. Marco’s confidence was quite something. It was almost as if he did this sort of shit for a living. Nick didn’t feel nervous or anything himself, but that didn’t hide the fact that he wasn’t a hundred percent sure what to expect tomorrow when they broke into that mausoleum. But the thought of all those jewels dulled any negative feelings he might have, and it was most probably the same for Marco. Even more so, it seemed to Nick. The promise of all that bling, all that money, that was all that mattered. But, was it as simple as that? Just turn up, do the job, then walk away rich? Is that all it took? While everyone else was busting their arses all day and night for pennies, they were just gonna roll up, loot a tomb, then everything would be sweet and their lives would change forever? Maybe it was as simple as that. Maybe the world was blind. Society had been blinded by the working day, believing it was the only way to get what you wanted. Maybe there were opportunities lying on everyone’s doorstep and all they had to do was bend down and pick them up, but they were just too blind, dumb, or ignorant to see them. Blinded by the system. Dumbed down by what they believed to be right. Educated to be ignorant to the real world. Nick didn’t care about the rights and wrongs of what they planned to do. As Marco rightly said, what use are the jewels to a dead person, when the living could make plenty of use with them? If it meant that he profited, then so be it.
Better him than someone else anyway.
Then, as he stared at his reflection, a sudden thought hit him like an electrical charge—this time tomorrow, he would be richer than today. A lot richer.
He watched his face brighten with a big greedy grin, and it was that thought that sent him through the night happy.
FIVE
They met Marco down the road from the cemetery.
He was lounging on a street corner in combat pants and a black tee, shades protecting his eyes from the midday sun. Nick XR2 pulled up next to him and beeped his horn. Marco coolly looked up, and when he saw the four of them in the car, a wide smile spread across his face, and he nodded his head. Tony wound down the shotgun window as Marco approached them.
‘Glad you made it, boys,’ Marco said, shaking the hand that Tony offered him.
‘Wouldn’t miss this for the world,’ Tony replied with a grin, and for a second Nick Black couldn’t decide whether that remark was serious, or just a joke.
‘Good to see you two getting on,’ Nick XR2 said. ‘The other night it was Vietnam and Iraq rolled into one.’
Tony chuckled. ‘Nah, my man here’s all right,’ he said. ‘Crazy as fuck, but all right…’
Nick Black wound down his window to speak to Marco. The black Staffordshire Bull Terrier sitting on his lap grasped the opportunity and stuck its head through the gap.
It barked at Marco, making him jump back. ‘What the fuck is that?’ he blurted out.
‘That’s Snoop,’ Nick XR2 replied.
‘Snoop?’
‘My dog.’
‘Prefer 2Pac myself,’ Marco quipped, staring at Snoop.
Snoop barked energetically, and his tongue lolled from his mouth.
‘Believe me, you’re not the only one,’ Nick Black said, writhing uncomfortably in his seat beneath Snoop.
‘Charlie’s gonna make out he’s walking him while he’s on lookout,’ Nick XR2 informed him.
‘Ah, good idea boys,’ Marco said. He then looked them over, and squinted in confusion. ‘We’re a man light,’ he noted.
‘Nah, Taki’s here,’ Nick XR2 said, cocking a thumb over his shoulder. ‘He’s in the car behind.’
Marco stood upright and looked over to where Nick indicated. Taki was in his Mini, waiting for the go. He held up a hand in recognition of Marco and nodded his head.
Marco returned the greeting, before bending down low again. ‘He know what to do?’
‘Yeah, don’t worry about Taki,’ Nick XR2 said. ‘He knows the score.’
‘G
ood. Well, gentlemen, without further adieu, let’s get to work.’
Tony nodded in agreement. ‘Let’s raid this barn,’ he said and gave Marco another vigorous shake of his hand.
Nick XR2 turned round to speak to Charlie, who was in the back seat with him. ‘You go in now, Charlie. Take Snoop with you.’
Charlie nodded, and then reached for Snoop’s lead.
Nick XR2 slapped his hand on Charlie’s, stopping him in his tracks. ‘Don’t let him run off,’ Nick warned. ‘He’s a horny bugger and if he sniffs bitches, he’ll be off like a shot.’
‘Don’t worry,’ Charlie replied in a miffed voice. ‘I can handle it. Dog’s not going anywhere I don’t want him to.’ He then opened the door and tugged the lead. ‘Come on boy,’ he said.
Snoop barked, then jumped off of Nick Black’s lap and out the door.
Nick Black wiped his jeans down. ‘Thank fuck for that!’ he said, relieved to be relieved of Snoop.
Charlie shut the door and the next thing they saw was Snoop scampering off in the direction of the cemetery, his lead tightening, and Charlie having to jog to keep up.
‘Jesus Christ! Who’s walking who?’ Tony asked out loud.
Snoop raced past the cemetery entrance, making Charlie stop and pull up. ‘Snoop! Snoop! In here!’ he shouted, pointing into the cemetery.
‘Fuck me, he’s gonna blow the whole plan to pieces!’ said Tony.
‘No he won’t.’ Nick XR2 reassured him. ‘It’ll be all right, trust me.’
Charlie tugged the lead, making Snoop’s head snap round. He then headed towards the cemetery in what looked like slow motion, dragging Snoop along with him. Snoop soon got the hint, and once he saw the grass verge just inside the cemetery entrance, raced ahead, and disappeared inside. The lead tightened again, and Charlie quickly vanished a second or two later.
‘See?’ Nick XR2 said, his palms open.
Marco chuckled to himself. ‘Give him a minute or two, then we’ll follow,’ he said before getting in the back seat. Once inside, he asked: ‘You bring a torch?’
Nick XR2 grabbed something from beneath his seat and held it up. ‘Big enough?’ he asked.
Marco took the torch from Nick and held it in both hands. The lamp was bigger than his palm. ‘Perfect,’ he said.
‘And Tony’s got the bag,’ Nick XR2 added.
Tony handed Marco a Nike holdall. Marco took it and placed it on the seat next to him, holding it in place with the torch. ‘So, you lot ready for this?’ he then asked.
Tony nodded his head. ‘Fuck yeah!’
‘So, all we gotta do is lift, right?’ Nick Black asked.
‘As far as I know,’ Marco replied. ‘But, if any dead bodies come to life, then…’
Nick Black’s eyes widened in horror, and Nick XR2 laughed.
‘We’ll sort out any zombies,’ Tony said. ‘Don’t you worry, we’ve sorted out worse shit than that, believe me.’
‘Would love to hear about it,’ Marco said from behind his shades. ‘But, we better get going.’
‘Absolutely,’ agreed Nick XR2.
‘Just drive in nice and slow.’
Nick XR2 turned into the cemetery, and rolled up to the barrier. To the left was a small building with both an open door and open window. Standing outside the window was a bored looking grey haired man, puffing lazily on a fag. When Nick Black looked up at the building, he noticed a CCTV camera jutting out of its front wall, pointing their way. He couldn’t see any others filming the inner part of the cemetery.
‘Fucker will stand there all day smoking fag after fag,’ Marco said in a quiet voice.
The guard turned and glanced at their car, his tired, apathetic eyes hardly registering them. Like a rusty robot, the guard placed his fag between his lips before he slowly turned, put his arm inside the open window and pushed a button. The barrier then flipped upwards, allowing them access. Nick XR2 held his hand up in gratitude. The guard responded with an indifferent nod. Nick XR2 got moving, another car going past them the other way, the opposite barrier flipping upwards for them to exit.
‘Our mausoleum is just up ahead,’ Marco informed them.
Nick Black looked around. On either side were neatly cut grass, trees, and bright flower arrangements. Up ahead the road forked left and right, and that was where he first spotted the gravestones—hundreds of them, new, old, polished, decayed. some with moss and ivy covering them like some kind of fungal disease. Other, newer stones were made of shiny marble and polished granite.
Nick XR2 headed for the split road. ‘Which direction?’ he asked behind him, directing his question at Marco.
‘Veer left,’ he replied.
They went further in, and Nick Black now noticed Charlie standing over on the patch of grass to the right. Snoop had his leg cocked up against the perimeter fence. Charlie’s head twitched so badly, it brought his face round to meet them. Marco patted the air ahead of him, indicating for Charlie to stay where he was. Charlie squinted his eyes and nodded in understanding.
Nick XR2 went past him and veered to the left, and now they found themselves surrounded by graves and tombs, some dating back a hundred years, others fresh in the memory. Stone angels, Virgin Marys and Jesus Christs watched them with eternal stares. Nick Black shivered, his memory jogging back to when he was a kid with his mum and sisters visiting his pappou’s grave. It used to freak him out then, and quickly realised that nothing much had changed. Cemeteries were creepy places. Places you just didn’t go to. Suddenly, he wasn’t feeling so hot about the idea of going into a mausoleum, never mind opening the tomb in there. Nerves began to knot in his stomach, and he wanted a spliff. Badly.
‘There it is,’ said Marco, and his words sounded in Nick Black’s ears like lines lifted straight from Tales From the Crypt. His head spun round and he was greeted by a squat building made of clean white stone. In the centre was a black iron door. Stone pillars rose to a sloped roof either side of it. A flower pot filled with fake plants sat in front of each pillar, adding a touch of colour to the small, grim house of the dead. It sat amongst the other graves and tombs like a lone iceberg floating in the Arctic. When Nick Black looked up, he noticed similar structures scattered around the place in the distance.
‘This thing new?’ Nick Black asked Marco in a jittery voice.
‘Not really,’ Marco replied. ‘The bitch inside had it refurbed when she croaked. Ordered a bigger tomb as well. The whole thing was very private and very discrete.’
Nick Black felt his face scrunch up and he involuntarily swallowed. ‘Nice…’
‘Keep going,’ Marco ordered. ‘And park up a little further on.’
Nick XR2 did as he was told, checking his rear view. ‘That door looked pretty solid,’ he noted. ‘How are we getting in?’
‘We’re using this,’ Marco said, pulling out a massive iron key from his combat pants. It had a big round loop for a handle, and looked to Nick Black like something from a Warner Brothers cartoon, Bugs Bunny or Porky Pig.
‘You sure that’s big enough?’ Nick Black asked.
‘Where did you get that?’ Nick XR2 asked on top of the last question.
‘Got it on Ebay,’ Marco replied and smiled, causing his shades to lift slightly on his face.
Nick Black looked back the way they came. He could see Charlie messing around with Snoop, heading towards a park bench in the middle of the grass verge. The guard was in eyeshot as well, meaning that he could catch them red handed.
And that was where Taki came in.
‘Right,’ said Marco. ‘Call your mate. Get him to do his thing. You sure he knows what to do?’
‘Stop worrying,’ Nick XR2 said. ‘I brought Taki into this and he wouldn’t have been brought in if I didn’t think he could handle it, believe me.’
Marco nodded. ‘Fair enough.’
Nick XR2 pulled out his phone and dialled. ‘Taki? It’s down to you now. Don’t let us down, man.’ He clicked ‘end call,’ and put his phone away. ‘Now we wait,�
� he said, keeping his eyes fixed on his rear view for Taki to make his entrance.
A jolt of excitement twanged in Nick Black’s already nervous stomach. A plan had been hatched, and they were now carrying it out. The adrenaline was starting to flow, the anxiety, the excitement growing. Could they pull this off? Or were they gonna get caught?
In his mind, he rubbed his hands in anticipation.
‘There he is,’ stated Nick XR2, spotting Taki in his rear view.
Nick Black, Marco, and Tony all stared anxiously out of the rear windscreen. Taki’s car turned into the cemetery entrance and made it up to the barrier. Looking at him in that Mini, too big for such a small car, his moon face taking up most of the windscreen, Nick Black couldn’t help but think of Donkey Kong from Mario Kart.
Nick XR2 tapped his steering wheel, clearly apprehensive. He was the one who’d brought Taki in on this. If Taki let him down, he would lose face.
The guard placed his fag between his lips, and then reached inside the window. A second later, the barrier flipped upwards.
Nick XR2’s fingers ceased drumming.
Nothing else happened, and to Nick Black it felt like time had been suspended. The whole scene became a portrait. Taki’s Mini stationed in front of the barrier, Taki behind the wheel, his face doing nothing. The smoking guard standing still and watching, waiting for Taki to move. Nick Black swore he saw a couple of birds stop dead mid-flight in the sky. He blinked, and when he looked back, the barrier began to fall back down, shattering the illusion.
But Taki hadn’t moved an inch.
The smoking guard shrugged his shoulders at Taki, who just shrugged his own in return. His hands were raised and his mouth was turned downwards. He was also shaking his head to add to the effect. The guard ignored him, reached inside the window, and then the barrier came up again, but still Taki’s Mini didn’t move.
‘He’s doing it,’ Tony said in an excited voice, but Nick XR2 didn’t respond, and knowing him as he did, Nick Black guessed it was because he didn’t want to get too excited too soon, didn’t want to count his chickens…
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