“I’m going home,” she told him firmly.
“That’s exactly where you need to go,” he told her. “Our home, Gracie.”
“No, Deuce,” she interrupted him. “I’m going to my apartment. You need to go home to the ranch. I’m not going with you.”
“Gracie,” Deuce stopped her, his voice soft. “You belong with me. We’re mates. Whatever fears you have about our future we can work through together. Please, Gracie. Come home with me.”
Gracie took a step away and did the hardest thing she had ever done in her life. She looked up at the man she loved with all that she was and gave him the coldest look she could muster. “I’m not coming home with you, Deuce.”
“The child you’re carrying is mine, Gracie,” he told her quietly.
“There is no child, Deuce,” she insisted, her voice losing some of its intensity as fear filled her.
“Yes, Mate. There is a child. My child.”
“You’re wrong,” she told him sadly. “And I’m not going to take a chance that there will be a child. I will not bring a child into this world to suffer because of me.”
“Yes, Gracie. There is a child growing inside of you, and I will not allow you to keep me from being a part of my baby’s life. I’m going to be with you through your entire pregnancy, the birth of our baby, and the raising of our child. You can’t deny me that right.”
Gracie’s heart beat quickly as the thoughts raced through her mind. Deuce was so sure she was pregnant, but she wasn’t. It didn’t matter that, emotionally, she secretly hoped that she was. Logically, she knew that she shouldn’t bring a child into the world. She reached for something to tell him that would end this relationship and give him the ability to walk away from her without guilt.
“I have my period, Deuce,” she told him, her voice calm and strong. “So you’re wrong. There is no baby.”
She turned away from him and walked to her car without looking back. She wasn’t going to change her mind. She knew she was doing the right thing even if it was destroying her.
The pain that filled Deuce’s heart was immediate. She had her period. That meant she had miscarried their baby. He hadn’t felt the warmth of his child’s life when he had kissed her belly back at her office, but he had attributed it to the fact that he had kissed her through her clothes. The loss hit him so hard, he could barely breathe.
He should be with her, taking care of her, and helping her come to terms with the loss. He needed to bring her to the doctor so he could make sure she was all right. Once he was sure she was healthy, they were going to have a serious discussion about the babies she would be having with him. And he was determined that she would be having babies.
Deuce watched as she opened her car door and eased inside to sit behind the steering wheel. He couldn’t help but admire the strength that she possessed. He knew that she was doing what she thought was right, but he also knew that he was not going to allow her to give up on them.
He loved the stubborn woman who was his mate. She would soon be home with him and within his arms where she belonged.
Preferably naked, damn it!
Chapter 25
“Gracie, please come to the ranch,” Melanie’s calm voice spoke to her over the phone.
“I’m not going back there, Melanie,” Gracie told her softly. “I’m exhausted. And my hip hurts. When I get home from work I’m going to take a long, hot bath, get into my pajamas, and go to bed.”
“I get that you’re scared, Gracie,” Melanie told her softly. “But you don’t have to be. Everything is going to work out.”
“As much as I want to believe that, Melanie, I know that it won’t. And I’m not going to stick around and bring a child into this world to suffer like I do.”
“That won’t happen, Gracie.”
“Damn right it won’t. Because I won’t let it. Now, I’ve got to get going. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Gracie.”
“What?”
“I need your help.”
“With what, Melanie?” Gracie asked her sister, every warning bell going off in her head.
“I have an appointment with Dr. Andrews at three o’clock this afternoon. Luke said he’ll take me, but I don’t want him to lose any more time from work. He’s already stressed enough about leaving Jake and Rafe with so much work when he was home with me. Staying out of work after his accident didn’t help his level of stress. He feels guilty about not being there to do his share of work. Please, Gracie. I really need you to take me and stay with the kids while I’m in with the doctor.”
Gracie thought for a minute. If she had to get Melanie to the appointment for three o’clock, they would have to leave by two o’clock. Deuce would be out working the ranch at that time, so she wouldn’t run into him. Maybe Melanie was being honest about the need for her help.
“Okay,” she told her finally, resigned to the fact that she couldn’t refuse to help her baby sister. “I’ll be there by two.”
“Thanks, Gracie,” Melanie told her sincerely. “I’ll tell Luke he doesn’t have to take me.”
“Please don’t let him tell Deuce I’ll be there. I really can’t handle another confrontation, Melanie. My nerves are shot.”
“Okay, honey,” Melanie agreed sadly. “I still say you should talk this through with him. He’s such a good man, Gracie.”
“I know.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. “I’ll see you later.”
* * * *
Gracie walked up the front porch steps of Deuce’s ranch house. She looked around nervously, trying to see if Deuce was close by, but the corral was empty, everything was quiet, and she finally took a breath to settle her nerves. It looked like Melanie had been honest with her after all.
Before she had a chance to knock on the front door, it opened to reveal her smiling sister holding Mary Grace against her chest. Robbie bounced on the balls of his feet as he stood beside his mother.
“Hi, Aunt Gracie,” he greeted her happily.
“Hello, Robbie,” Gracie answered immediately, leaning down to pick him up in her arms and kiss his cheek soundly. “Are you ready to go for a ride in my car?”
“No. I want to go in Daddy’s truck,” he told her, shaking his head.
“Gracie, I forgot the diaper bag in Luke’s old room,” Melanie interrupted them. “Would you mind running up to get it while I take the kids out to your car?”
“Sure.”
She put down Robbie and walked into the house, taking the stairs slowly. She rubbed her hip lightly, wincing at the twinge of pain. She had one hell of a bruise, and it was really tender.
When she reached the top landing she turned to walk toward Luke’s old room, smiling sadly as she passed the room she had shared with Deuce not so long ago. It literally made her heart hurt as she remembered how they had talked and laughed and loved in that room.
Opening the door to her sister’s temporary bedroom, she walked inside, leaving the door open behind her. She looked around quickly but didn’t see the diaper bag. Walking into the adjoining bathroom, she searched for the bag but still didn’t find it. Turning to go back into the bedroom, she froze in place when she saw Deuce standing in the doorway, blocking her only means of escape.
He stood there as gorgeous as ever, dressed in his jeans and long-sleeved flannel shirt. The red material of the shirt looked good on him. Everything looked good on him. She couldn’t help but appreciate everything about him as he stood there, filling the room with his power. His body exuded strength, and his character demanded respect.
She couldn’t deny the effect he had on her. She wanted to drop to her knees before him and beg him to take her in his arms and protect her and love her for the rest of her life. But she couldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair to the children they may have together who would suffer as she had suffered throughout her lifetime.
“We need to talk, Gracie,” he told her softly, stepping toward her.
For each step he took toward her, she matc
hed them with one of her own away from him. She didn’t miss the look of exasperation that crossed his face.
“I think we’ve said everything we have to say, Deuce,” she told him, trying to make a wide berth around him to leave the room.
He wasn’t going to allow it. “No, Gracie,” he told her, reaching out to wrap his hand around her forearm. “We haven’t.”
Gracie tried to pull out of his hold, but he just tightened his grip. “You’re hurting me, Deuce,” she whispered.
“No. I’m not,” he insisted calmly. “I’m just preventing you from leaving.”
“I have to take Melanie to her appointment,” she tried to explain to him. “I don’t have time to talk to you right now.”
“Luke is taking her,” Deuce told her firmly. “We have all the time in the world to talk. You’re not leaving.”
“Yes. I am.” Her voice was firm as she twisted her arm up to break his hold. Surprised when he let her go, she wasn’t going to question it. She had to leave. She would deal with her traitorous sister later.
“We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way,” Deuce told her calmly.
Gracie looked at him briefly, seeing the flash of determination in his eyes. Her stomach clenched as she thought about the many nights he had taken control and had demanded her submission—submission that she had willingly given to him.
“Sorry, Deuce,” she told him finally. “I don’t have anything else to say to you. I’ve already used my safe word. You have to honor it.”
He looked at her calmly. She could see the muscle in his jaw twitching as he clenched his teeth. She knew she didn’t have much time to escape before he lost his temper. In all the years she had known him, he had only lost his temper three times. The first time had been when Tommy Phillips had pushed her down and had called her names. The second time had been when Becca had been injured by her mother’s cruelty. And the third time had been when her father had beaten her with his belt when she had been eighteen. In each of those instances, Deuce had struggled to keep control of himself, but he had become physical in order to protect them.
She was aware that she was pushing the limits of his control, but there was no choice. She knew she couldn’t resist him if he held her. Instead, she straightened her spine, brushed by him, and headed out into the hallway. She only made it three feet when she found herself caught up in his arms and lifted over his shoulder.
“Put me down,” she demanded, slapping at his back ineffectively. It was like a small child slapping at a giant. The muscles of his back were like concrete bricks. There was no way she could ever hurt him—not that she would ever want to.
“You’ve been a very bad mate,” he told her angrily. “I am not putting up with your stubbornness any longer.”
As he carried her into his bedroom, Gracie panicked. She struggled with every bit of strength that she had. She kicked her feet and pounded his back with her fists, twisting her body to try to dislodge herself from his hold, but he only tightened his grip on her legs. His left arm wrapped securely over her thighs to keep her in place while his right hand lifted and swatted her backside. Hard.
Gracie screeched in indignation. “How dare you!” she ground out through clenched teeth. “Put me down right now.”
“Gladly,” he told her, his voice just as angry as hers.
He bent forward and pushed her off his shoulder, successfully throwing her onto their bed. She bounced once before he was on top of her.
“Get off of me,” she demanded, trying to turn away from him to scuttle off the bed.
“Absolutely not,” he answered calmly, holding her down with his hands and trapping her legs with his right thigh. “Calm down so we can talk.”
“No. Get off me!” she screamed at him, fear fueling her anger. “I will not talk to you anymore.”
She felt the binding around her right wrist before she realized that he had moved to grab the restraint. That’s when all hell broke loose. She kicked and clawed at him, fear and sadness overwhelming her. She wouldn’t let him restrain her. She couldn’t allow him to take control. She had to leave. She had to leave now.
In less than five seconds, he had her other hand secured in the restraint and was wrapping the padded cuffs around her ankles. Her chest heaved with exertion, and she felt as if she were going to be sick.
“Calm down, baby,” he told her softly as he stood at the foot of the bed. “I would never hurt you, but damned if I’m going to let you go until we straighten this out. Please, Gracie. I don’t want you to injure yourself.”
“Then let me go,” she demanded. “You’re going to be the cause of me hurting myself. Isn’t that against some kind of dominant rule?”
He stood at the foot of the bed with his arms crossed over his massive chest. He watched as her chest rose with each heaving breath and knew that she was going to make herself sick if he didn’t get her to calm down.
“You can report me to the Dominant Society Police.”
Gracie stopped struggling at once and looked up at him. “Is there really such a thing?”
Deuce couldn’t prevent the full smile that crossed his face. “No, baby, there’s no such thing.”
“You’re an idiot,” she snapped.
“Yes, sometimes I am. But I’m your idiot.”
Gracie snapped her mouth closed and watched him warily as he walked around the bed to sit beside her at her hip. She waited silently, unsure what, if anything, she could say or do. He had effectively prevented her from leaving.
He reached out and rubbed at her hip lightly, noticing the way her face flashed with pain at his touch. The fact that she was hurt made his heart ache.
“How badly does your hip hurt, honey?”
“I’m fine,” she insisted, trying to arch her body away from his touch. “Don’t touch me.”
Instead of pulling away, he reached out and pushed up her blouse and tugged down the waistband of her skirt to expose her abdomen to his gaze. Very slowly, he raised his hand and covered her belly, afraid that he would not feel the warmth of his baby within her. The very thought of her losing their child had devastated him.
She tried to pull away, but he held her still with his free hand, capturing her hip and pressing down gently to keep her in place. When he felt the warmth of their baby radiating through her to gently kiss his hand, he breathed a sigh of relief and said a quick prayer of thanks to the Great Spirit.
He looked at her silently, pulling his hands away from her and resting them lightly on his own thighs. He knew he had to respect her wishes, but a good Dom knew when their sub’s wishes were not what they really needed or wanted. And he knew that Gracie didn’t really want to be away from him or divorce herself from his touch.
“Marble,” she told him suddenly.
He shook his head slowly. “Not going to let you safe word, Gracie,” he told her gently.
“You have to let me safe word. That’s how it works.”
“This is not a sexual scene, Mate,” he told her firmly. “This is just a matter of keeping you still so we can talk. Once we settle this, I’ll release you.”
Gracie watched him silently. Fire flashed in her eyes as she looked up at him. She had to stay angry. If she didn’t, she would do something stupid like cave and admit that she wanted to stay with him.
“Okay. Talk.”
Deuce looked down at her very seriously. “You lied to me.”
Of all the things she had expected him to say, that was not one of them. A good dose of fear rushed through her at that moment. She had no idea what he was going to say.
“You told me you had your period,” he told her softly.
“I do have my period,” she insisted.
Deuce looked down at her calmly. “Then I guess you’re just going to have to show me, honey.”
“What?”
“You’re going to have to show me,” he repeated.
She blushed and looked away guiltily. Deuce smiled at the little victory. His ma
te would soon know never to try to lie to him again.
“I’ll help you remove your pants and spread your legs to see exactly what’s going on with you, Gracie. I’m willing to bet that I will find a perfectly sweet pussy with no tampon inside of it. What do you think, Gracie? Is that what I’ll find?”
“I should be getting my period next week,” she defended herself.
“No. You won’t.”
She remained silent. His cool stare made her uncomfortable, and she squirmed within her restraints.
“That lie made me think you had miscarried our baby,” he told her softly. “I was already grieving for the baby I would never know or hold. You could have prevented me from experiencing that pain of loss by telling me the truth.”
Before she could answer him, he reached out and covered her belly with his hand once again. When the warmth of his hand made contact with her skin, she couldn’t prevent the gasp that escaped her. The feel of his hand touching her made every nerve in her body tingle. She wanted his touch more than she wanted her next breath.
“Gracie, when we made love by the brook when we had our picnic, we created our baby,” he told her softly as he rubbed a continuous arc back and forth across her stomach with the pad of his thumb.
“You don’t know that,” she pushed aside his words, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Yes. I do,” he insisted softly. “When I was holding you as you slept, I felt a warmth coming from your body. When I touched your belly, the warmth increased. Even now as I’m touching you I can feel the warmth of our baby living and growing inside of you.”
He leaned forward and kissed her belly tenderly, turning to rub his cheek against her softly. When he looked up, he saw the single tear that was slipping from the corner of her eye to fall into the softness of her light brown hair at her temple. He leaned up to cover her torso with his, loving the feel of her sweet curves beneath him.
“Please don’t cry, baby,” he whispered, wiping away the tear with his thumb. “I’m sorry if you aren’t ready to have a baby yet, but the Great Spirit knows it’s a good thing. He’s blessed our child, Gracie.”
Touching Deuce [Cowboy Mates, Psychic Connections 2] (Siren Publishing Classic) Page 30