Chapter 6
At 6:15 Monday morning, Amaryllis and Bridgette stepped off the elevator.
Marvin was anxiously waiting at his post for the roommates pass to him by.
Amaryllis reached his desk first. “Good morning, Marvin.”
If it wasn’t a good morning five minutes ago, it was certainly a good morning now that Amaryllis was present. Marvin presented her with a dozen red roses. “Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady.”
Amaryllis took the roses from him and sniffed them. “Thank you, Marvin. These are beautiful. I’ll place them in water and set them on my desk when I get to work.”
Bridgette walked up. “Today is my birthday, not hers. Where are my darn flowers?”
Marvin looked at her. “I was running late for work this morning. I didn’t have time to stop by the cemetery and pick ’em.”
Bridgette moved closer to him. “Didn’t I tell you that I could say two words that’ll make all three of your teeth fall out?”
“See, you can’t even count.” Marvin held up two fingers. “I got fo’ teef.”
Bridgette looked at the two fingers he held up. “And you say I can’t count? How many teeth do you have, Marvin?”
He held up two fingers again. “I got fo’ teef.”
Bridgette laughed, and so did Amaryllis.
“Bridgette, will you leave Marvin alone?” Amaryllis asked.
“He started with me about the flowers. Why do you always take his side?”
“Because Marvin is an old man.” Amaryllis wanted to separate them before an argument erupted. “It’s your turn to drive. Go get the car and drive around to the front of the building.”
Bridgette looked at Marvin. “You better be glad I gotta go to work.”
“Nah, y-y-you b-better be g-glad y-y-you g-gotta go to w-work.”
Bridgette walked to the door that led to the garage then turned around. “Hey, Marvin, how m-m-many t-t-teefs y-you g-got?”
Marvin patiently waited for Bridgette to finish mocking him and held up two fingers.
“I got fo’ teef.”
Bridgette laughed and walked out the door. Amaryllis thanked him for her roses again. “I really appreciate my flowers, Marvin.”
“You wanna come around my desk and sit on my lap?”
“You know what, Marvin? This time last year, I would’ve gladly sat on your lap and charged you fifty bucks. But I don’t live like that anymore, sweetie.”
“Is you a virgin?”
Amaryllis thought about his question. “I’m trying real hard to be.”
She bid him farewell, then walked out of the building with her roses.
When she fastened her seat belt after getting into the car, Bridgette pulled away from the curb. Near the end of the block, before Bridgette reached the stoplight, a woman made a sharp right turn. She cut in front of Bridgette’s car, nearly causing a collision.
Bridgette went into a rage. She honked her horn profusely and yelled obscenities at the driver. “You stupid…Can’t you see my car?”
Her outburst startled Amaryllis. “Bridgette, would you please calm down?”
Bridgette unfastened her seat belt and exited the car on her way to confront the woman. “No, uh-uh. I’m gonna tell this trick a thing or two.”
“Bridgette, get your behind back in this car!” Amaryllis demanded as she started praying. Just when Bridgette got to the rear of the woman’s car in front of her, the light changed to green, and the woman sped off.
Bridgette was hot under the collar that she didn’t get a chance to give the woman a piece of her mind. As she walked back to her own car, a man who sat in his vehicle behind hers blew his horn to get her moving. Bridgette looked at him and yelled, “Don’t you see me getting in the car, you idiot? Huh? You wanna die this morning? Press that horn again and see what happens.”
Amaryllis was in the passenger seat with her eyes closed. She was still praying.
Bridgette got back in the car and sped all the way downtown to the law office where the two of them worked. Amaryllis didn’t say a word…she just prayed silently.
No sooner than Amaryllis sat at her desk, she heard Bridgette yell from across the office, “Who put these folders on my desk?”
She was yelling at no one in particular, but the entire office staff stopped what they were doing and looked at her. Bridgette had been employed at Parker & Parker Law Office as a paralegal for the past six years. For the entire six years, she’d started every morning off with a loud complaint. It was always loud enough to get everyone’s attention.
On Mondays, it was, “Who put this on my desk?”
On Tuesdays, it was, “Who’s been using my darn computer?”
On Wednesdays, it was, “Where is my darn coffee mug? I left it right here on my desk.”
On Thursdays, it was, “Whoever stole my Winnie The Pooh ink pen better return it in the next five minutes, or else I’m gonna set it off up in this mutha.”
Fridays’ outburst were everybody’s favorite. “It’s eight o’clock. Where’s my darn check?”
At around ten minutes before noon, Bridgette’s intercom buzzed. “Yes, Mr. Parker?”
“Bridgette, can you come into my office, please?”
“Sure, Mr. Parker. I’ll be right in.”
She dialed Amaryllis’s extension. “Girl, this is it. The boss wants to see me. It’s promotion time,” she sang.
“All right, girlfriend. I guess lunch is on you today, huh?”
“Lunch and dinner.”
Bridgette hung up from Amaryllis and grabbed a notepad and pen then went and knocked on Mr. Parker’s door before gently opening it. He was sitting behind his desk speaking into a Dictaphone. He motioned with his hand for her to come in and have a seat. Bridgette sat in a chair across from him and patiently waited for him to finish his thought. In a moment, Mr. Parker set the Dictaphone on his desk and looked at her.
“Bridgette, how are you feeling today?”
She smiled. “Fine, thank you.”
“Tell me what happened in the break room earlier today.”
Her smile faded. Mr. Parker was referring to the argument she had had with David, another paralegal that happened to be Mr. Parker’s nephew.
“I don’t know what you mean,” she answered nervously.
“Did you and David argue?”
“We exchanged a few words, but it’s all good now.”
“What do you mean, ‘it’s all good’?”
“It’s squashed.”
Mr. Parker gave Bridgette a look that told her he didn’t understand her language.
“We’ve settled the disagreement, Mr. Parker.”
The boss folded his hands on the desk. “David said you threatened him when he changed the channel on the television in the break room.”
“I was watching the The Young And The Restless, right? The idiot came in the break room and changed the channel like I was invisible.”
It completely went over Bridgette’s head that she had just called the CEO’s nephew an idiot.
Mr. Parker picked up a sheet of paper from his desk. “Bridgette, I have a written statement from David that reads, ‘I thought Ms. Nelson was asleep, so I changed the channel on the television. That’s when she jumped up from the sofa and said that she would throw me out of the *$@&^ window if I touched the television again.’”
He laid the sheet of paper back on the desk and looked at Bridgette. “Is that a true statement, Bridgette?”
“Nope. I told that idiot I would throw his punk behind out of the *$@&^ window if he touched the television again. You tell that nerd that I said if he’s gonna quote me, quote me right.”
Ten minutes later, Bridgette left Mr. Parker’s office and walked straight to Amaryllis’s desk. “Girl, you ain’t gonna believe this sh…uh, stuff.” She had almost cursed but caught herself.
Amaryllis kept typing. “What?”
“He didn’t give me the promotion.”
Amaryllis looke
d up at her with a surprised expression on her face. “Why?”
“Because I cussed David out this morning and threatened to kill him. Can you believe something that minor stopped me from getting my promotion? Mr. Parker said he’ll consider my application for the promotion if I take an anger management class. Girl, when he suggested that, I almost went to jail. I looked into the future and saw myself leaping across his desk and choking the sh…uh, mess out of him. Then I heard God say ‘Peace, be still.’” Bridgette held up her right hand. “But I promise, I was ready to go to jail.”
“So, what are you gonna do, Bridge?”
“I’ll tell you what I’m not gonna do. I’m not taking an anger management class. Can you imagine me sitting in a circle with a bunch of crazy folks? What am I gonna say, ‘Hello, my name is Bridgette Nelson, and I’m a mad $#@&%’?”
There was a time when Amaryllis would laugh whenever she witnessed Bridgette let loose her tongue. But witnessing her best friend lose a promotion because she couldn’t control her mouth wasn’t a funny matter to her. Bridgette had made a promise to stop using so much profanity, and Amaryllis wondered when she would start to make good on that promise.
“Do you remember the promise you made to God to stop cursing, Bridgette?” Amaryllis reminded her best friend.
Bridgette leaned against Amaryllis’s desk and picked lint from her sleeve. “Uh-huh.”
“Well, it’s about time you made good on your word, don’t you think?”
“I’m trying to.”
“How? How are you trying? Were you trying this morning when you cussed out that lady who cut you off? Were you trying when you cussed out the man when he blew his horn at you? How about cursing out Mr. Parker’s nephew? Were you trying then too?”
Bridgette became defensive. “Don’t preach to me like you’ve been saved your whole life, Amaryllis. You ain’t nowhere near perfect. Hmph, I know what you used to do.”
“You said the magic word. Yeah, I used to do some wild stuff, but I don’t anymore. You and I made promises to God together, and we swore to keep each other on the right path. I kept my promise. I haven’t rubbed up against a man in a long time. And trust me on this—staying away from a man’s bed is just as difficult for me as controlling your mouth is for you. But this conversation isn’t about me, Bridgette. I’m not the one who just lost a promotion—you are.”
With that being said, Amaryllis turned her attention back to her computer. Bridgette stormed across the office to her desk and plopped down in her chair. Five seconds later, the entire office staff, including Mr. Parker, heard Bridgette yell, “Who turned the volume down on my radio? I was listening to Bishop T. D. Jakes preach.”
Amaryllis looked at her best friend and shook her head, then mumbled, “What for? It ain’t doing you no good.”
Chapter 7
After their evening run on Tuesday, Amaryllis and Bridgette walked two blocks from their condominium to Estella’s Shrimp Basket. They left the restaurant with three pounds of jumbo shrimp and a large container of fried okra. Back in their building, they passed the security desk on their way to the elevator when the guard who worked the evening shift spoke to them. “Hey, you ladies hear about Marvin?”
Bridgette set their food on the security desk. “What about him?”
“He had a heart attack this afternoon. From what I hear, he was in bad shape.”
Amaryllis placed her hand over her heart. “Oh, my goodness. What hospital is he in?”
“The paramedics took him to Loyola University.”
The two women went to their unit and put their dinner on top of the stove.
They both showered and dressed in nylon jogging suits, then headed to the west side of Chicago to Loyola University Medical Center.
At the receptionist’s desk, they were told that Marvin was in the Intensive Care Unit and visiting hours would be over in twenty minutes.
Amaryllis and Bridgette expected to see Marvin attached to many machines and barely conscious. They stopped in the gift shop where Bridgette bought get-well balloons. When the ladies walked into Marvin’s room, he was sitting up in bed, watching Sanford & Son and eating ice-cream sherbet.
Bridgette heard Fred Sanford when he insulted his sister-in-law, Esther.
“I could stick your face in some dough and make gorilla cookies,” Fred Sanford teased.
Marvin laughed at the television, and Bridgette went and stood next to his bed. “Get the heck up out of this bed. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with you. Here I am driving like a maniac across the city, rushing to get here because I thought you were knocking on death’s door. Yet, you’re in here having a miniparty.”
Amaryllis looked at her. “What do you mean ‘like a maniac’? Shouldn’t you have said, ‘Being the maniac that I am, I drove like a fool’?”
Bridgette ignored her and spoke to Marvin. “If you had a heart attack, why are you laughing at the television and eating ice cream?”
Marvin raised his eyebrows. “Who told you I had a heart attack?”
“The guard who works the evening shift.”
“Well, he lied. I was having chest pains and a hard time breathing, but the doctor’s ruled out a heart attack.”
Amaryllis patted Marvin’s foot. “I’m glad you’re okay, Marvin.”
Bridgette tied the balloons to the railings on his bed, and Marvin smiled at Amaryllis.
“Thank you, sugar.”
Bridgette was offended. “What the heck are you thanking her for? I was the one doing eighty all the way over here. And it was my twenty dollars that bought three darn balloons. I bet the next time I hear about you riding in an ambulance, I’ll wait until I get an invitation to the funeral before I buy anything else.”
Marvin grabbed Bridgette’s hand and kissed the back of it repeatedly. “I’m sorry, sugarplum. Thanks for my balloons. I knew you loved me.”
Bridgette snatched her hand from his grip. “Uh-uh. Don’t be trying to make up for it now. And I don’t love you. I just wanted to see for myself that you were dead.” The mushy card Marvin was playing wasn’t working for Bridgette. She preferred to be at war with him.
Marvin teased her and sang, “Bridgette and Marvin, sittin’ in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”
Bridgette looked at his wrist. “Sing it again and I’ll snatch that IV right out of your arm, I promise. And if you’re sick, you don’t need to be eating ice cream. It could freeze your heart.” She sat down in a chair next to his bed and grabbed the cup of sherbet off his tray. She made herself comfortable and ate what was left of it.
Amaryllis scolded her. “Bridgette, you can’t take his ice cream.”
Bridgette looked at her. “Look, Amaryllis, we didn’t get a chance to eat our shrimp, which means I’m hungry.”
“But the sherbet is for Marvin.”
Bridgette pressed the nurse button on the remote control, then looked at Marvin.
“When she answers, tell her to bring you another cup of ice cream because I’m eating this one.”
On the way home from the hospital, Amaryllis asked Bridgette to stop at Wal-Mart. There were only a handful of customers in the store. In the feminine hygiene aisle, they were comparing prices of maxipads when Amaryllis noticed a young Caucasian store clerk watching every move she and Bridgette made. He pretended to arrange items on a nearby shelf while at the same time keeping one of his eyes on them.
Amaryllis whispered to Bridgette. “Bridge, that guy thinks we’re shoplifters.”
What Amaryllis had said was all the fuel Bridgette needed to start a fire. She looked at the young clerk. “What the heck are you watching us for? How come you ain’t watching the white folks? We ain’t gotta steal a darn thang.”
Though the clerk would never admit it, Bridgette’s outburst and forwardness caught him off guard. “I wasn’t watching you, ma’am. I was just stacking these products.”
Bridgette looked at what he was supposedly stacking. “Well, how long does it take you to stack douche bottles that were alre
ady on the shelf?”
He quickly removed his hand away from the shelf. “I’m just doing my job, ma’am.”
“Is it your job to watch me like a hawk?” Amaryllis asked.
“It’s my job to assist you.”
Amaryllis held up the boxes of maxipads she was holding. “Okay, well, sometimes, when I bleed, it comes out clotty and real heavy. Which of these brands do you recommend I use to keep from having to soak my panties in the bathroom sink every month?”
Bridgette couldn’t help herself. She held up the box of tampons. “And can you demonstrate how to properly insert these?”
The young clerk’s face turned completely red. “Uh, I’ll get someone else to help you.”
He practically ran away from them. Amaryllis looked at Bridgette. “Bridge, we’re ignorant.”
Chapter 8
On Wednesday morning, Amaryllis was typing at her computer when her extension rang. She wasn’t in a talkative mood and decided to let the caller talk to her voice mail instead. After a few minutes, she called her mailbox and heard, “Hey, sis, just callin’ to—”
Amaryllis quickly disconnected the call and dialed Michelle’s number in Las Vegas. “Hi, Michelle.”
“That was fast. What are you doing, screening calls?”
“Girl, I have to. I’m running from men these days. And I definitely don’t wanna talk to Tyrone.”
“What’s this I hear? Is there trouble in paradise?” Michelle asked.
“Honey, please. What we had can hardly be considered paradise. So, let’s change the subject. How’s James?”
Michelle smiled at James’s photograph sitting on her desk. “James. Now, he’s Mr. Paradise. He’s wonderful.”
“I gotta give it to you, Michelle. If there was ever a near perfect man in this world, James is the one.”
“I am blessed to have him.”
“He’s blessed to have you too. Don’t ever forget that, Michelle.”
“Thanks, sis. That was a nice thing to say.”
“It’s the truth. So, what’s up?”
“Well, James’s mother is flying in from Houston this evening. I’m hoping to be out of court in time to go with him to the airport to get her. James has been running around frantically, trying to make sure everything is perfect for his mommie.”
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