The women encouraged the prophetess even more. “You’re sho’ right about that…Preach on…Come on and talk about it.”
“Take that bounce out of your step and put a sashay in your walk. Ladies don’t bounce, we glide. Invest in yourself and buy perfume and scented lotion. You ain’t got to wait on a man to make you feel good. Love yourself and treat your own self good.”
“Glory to God…Hallelujah…Yes, Lord,” the women chanted.
“Romans, chapter twelve, verse one says, ‘I beseech you therefore brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.’
“You’ve got to change your minds about how you feel about yourselves. Get it in your mind that you don’t have to be a dope addict; you don’t have to get your brains beaten out just because your man came home drunk and didn’t like the way the furniture was arranged. You don’t have to walk around with a sewer between your legs, and you don’t have to lay up with every Tyrone, DeVante, and Henry.”
When Prophetess Anderson mentioned not laying up with the name “Tyrone,” Amaryllis could’ve shouted. She was proud of herself for not giving in to his sexual advances.
“See, I’ma let y’all in on a secret,” the prophetess said. “A woman can easily become a trick if she allows herself to, but a lady will always be a treat.”
The sanctuary sounded like a basketball stadium at playoff time.
“Tell yourselves that you are ladies of God. You’ve graduated from women to ladies today. Reach up and grab your diplomas. God has given you a master’s degree in Ladyhood. After today, you may lose some friends because they’re not gonna understand the change in you, but that’s okay. Some things ladies just can’t do, some words ladies just can’t say, some places ladies just can’t go, and some clothes ladies just can’t wear.”
The women were delirious. “Yes, Lord…Teach it.”
“When your friends call and ask what time to meet at the club, you tell them that you’re not going because you’re a lady.”
“Yes, I’m a lady…I’m a lady…I’m a lady,” the women agreed.
“What are you gonna say when Junebug calls you in the middle of the night and asks if he can come over?”
All two hundred women yelled, “No!”
“Why?” the prophetess asked.
They shouted, “Because I’m a lady!”
“Why can’t you walk around smelling like a dirty drain?”
Amaryllis shouted the loudest. “Because I’m a lady.”
“Why can’t you let a man pound on you?”
“Because, I’m a lady,” they responded.
“All you ladies in this house come on and give God some praise for your deliverance, for your healing, for your victory, and for your master’s degree.”
The ladies shouted unto God and began praising Him some more. Prophetess Anderson called for each of the ladies that she personally ministered to, to come and stand at the altar. Once they had assembled themselves next to each other, she spoke.
“God loves you, and He sees you where you are. If you want to be made whole, raise your hands right now and give Him glory.”
They obeyed her and started repenting before God. Prophetess Anderson then stepped to Bridgette and blew in her face and immediately she fell into Michelle, who fell into the seventeen-year-old, who fell into the usher, who fell into the lady who had been beaten, who fell into Amaryllis, who fell into the drug addict, who fell into the pregnant lady, who fell into the single lady having sex.
One by one they dropped to the floor in a domino affect. The ladies left standing were praising God for making their issues well and for giving them a new start.
Prophetess Anderson looked at Cookie and repeated her statement. “First Lady, I hope you’ll have me back next year.”
Chapter 17
When Michelle got home on Sunday evening after taking Amaryllis and Bridgette to the airport, she sat down on the sofa and bowed her head. “Father, you know I love my sister, right? But can you please allow me an entire year before I have to set eyes on her again? Because, Lord, you see, Amaryllis is crazy. And in the three days she and crazy number two were here, they almost drove me crazy. Thank you for however many miles there are between Vegas and Chicago. So, God, can I please have my sanity back? And Lord, whatever Prophetess Anderson meant about you testing my faith in two months, please don’t do it, Lord. I’m gonna need at least a year to recover from the crazies’ visit.”
Michelle sat silently hoping that God would honor her plea. Her cellular phone rang just as she was on her way into the kitchen to search for a chocolate fix. She recognized James’s number at the precinct. “Is this my husband?” she said into the telephone.
“You are so beautiful, and I want you,” James told her.
Michelle smiled. “Oh, my.”
“I love you so much, Mickey.”
If Michelle’s skin weren’t so dark, it would have been easy to see her red cheeks. “I love you too, James. When are you coming home?”
James was on a roll, and he decided to flow with it. “Baby, you mean the world to me. I’ve been sitting at my desk for the past half hour, thanking God for my wife. And I’m looking at your picture on my desk, and, oh my God, I’m head over heels in love with you, girl. I keep smiling at your picture, and folks around here are laughing and saying that I’m whipped, but you know what, Mickey? I don’t care what they say, ’cause I loves my baby.” He traced Michelle’s face in the photo with his finger. “I’m looking at your hair. I love the way you part it down the middle and let it fall down your back. I’m looking at your pretty brown face. I love your little nose. And the way you’re smiling back at me in this picture makes me wanna pounce on you.”
Michelle had to sit down on the sofa again. “Oh, my goodness. What’s gotten into you?”
“Nothing has gotten into me, but I wanna get inside of you.”
Now Michelle got heated and fanned herself. “Whew, watch out there now, Detective.”
“You’re the one who better watch out, Mickey. Because when I get home, it’s on. I just can’t stop looking at your picture. I had to call and tell you how much I adore you.”
“Well, sweetie, the feeling is mutual.”
James paused before he asked, “Are they gone?”
“Yep. I watched the plane take off and get smaller and smaller until it disappeared in the sky.”
“We got our house back?”
“Yes, we do. I was just on my way to the kitchen for a chocolate fix.”
“I got your fix, Mickey.”
Michelle blushed. “Ahh, sooky, sooky, now. Well, bring it on because I got the shakes.”
“Mickey, I’m telling you right now, I’ve been on my best behavior while your guests were here, but I’m coming after you full force when I get home. I’ll be leaving the precinct in twenty minutes. I advise you to pray for strength, endurance, and longevity because I’m bringing home the handcuffs.”
Michelle hung up from James and glanced at their wedding photo above the fireplace. On the way up the stairs to their bedroom, she said, “Lord, please give me strength, endurance, and longevity because he’s bringing home the handcuffs.”
Forty-five minutes later, James came in the front door. A string from a red, helium-filled balloon floating against the ceiling greeted him. There was a note attached to it. He pulled the string and read the note.
This is a setup. Do exactly as I say and no one will get hurt.
Strip and leave your clothes by the door, then walk into the kitchen.
James didn’t have to read it twice. Immediately, he stripped and walked to the kitchen, completely naked. Two steps into the kitchen was another balloon hanging from the ceiling with a note.
In the refrigerator, you’ll find a glas
s of sparkling grape juice. Drink the entire glass then proceed to the third floor. Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT open the door to our bedroom. Go directly to the third floor.
James got excited. He quickly drank the sparkling grape juice then took the stairs two at a time. He stopped on the second floor and pressed his ear against their bedroom door. Soft music greeted his ear, and he got more excited. Grinning, he trotted up to the third floor. At the top of the stairs another balloon and note hung from the ceiling.
I took the liberty of drawing you a bath in the guest bathroom. You are instructed to clear your mind, relax, and soak for exactly ten minutes. At that time you will hear a bell. When the bell rings, drain the tub, dry your body, and open the door.
An appetizer awaits you next to the tub. Enjoy.
Obediently, James walked into the guest bathroom and saw candles burning on the ledge of the tub. Bubbles were dancing in the heated Jacuzzi. He carefully stepped over the candles and sank down in the tub. A bowl of fresh strawberries sat on a tray next to the tub. He helped himself to a handful and lay back. James closed his eyes and smiled. He felt as though he were on a mouse hunt, better yet, a Mickey hunt. With his eyes closed, he began to sing. “M-I-C-K-E-Y, God gave you to meeeee.”
Exactly ten minutes after James got in the tub he heard a bell ring from outside the bathroom door, and he smiled. Just the thought of Michelle teasing and taunting him this way turned him on big time. He drained the tub, dried himself, and blew out the candles. When he opened the door, there was yet another balloon and note hanging from the ceiling.
Open the door to the linen closet.
Obediently, James opened the door to his right and saw a small wicker basket containing a bottle of Hershey’s chocolate syrup, a bottle of honey, and a can of whipped cream tied together with a note attached. Also in the basket were a long wooden spoon and a spatula with notes attached to them. The note attached to the long wooden spoon read:
Somethin’ to stir me with.
James’s eyebrows rose. The note attached to the spatula read:
Somethin’ to flip me with.
James’s eyebrows rose higher as his mouth dropped open. The note attached to the chocolate syrup, honey, and whipped cream read:
Somethin’ to rub me down with.
By now, his adrenaline and testosterone were flowing overtime. He grabbed the basket and ran downstairs to their master suite. Outside of the closed door was a fifth balloon with a note attached.
You had your bath, and you had your appetizer. I hope you’re hungry because the main course is now served. Open the door!!
All thirty-two teeth in James’s mouth sparkled as he eagerly opened the door. The scene before his eyes literally took his breath away. Michelle was lying in the middle of their king-sized bed, nude, with rose petals covering only her breasts and private area. More rose petals lay scattered all around her on the bed. Candles romantically lit the bedroom. James could hear someone blowing the heavens out of a saxophone coming from the speakers of their stereo system. But he concentrated on his wife.
Michelle’s hair was parted down the middle and flowing just the way James loved it. She’d taken her time applying makeup to her face, using gold and bronze colors to accentuate her luscious brown skin. James’s gaze followed Michelle’s perfectly proportioned body down to her petite toes. He thought to himself, I am blessed.
Michelle spoke to him in an extremely seductive voice. “Are you ready to feast?”
“Uh-huh.”
“What’s in the basket?”
James forgot he was holding it in his hand. “Huh? Oh, um, just some tools to fix you with.”
Michelle held her hand out for him to take. “Well, here I am, husband. Fix me.”
James almost dropped the basket. Quickly, he tightened his grip around the handle. He had to calm himself before he touched Michelle, because if he touched her at that moment, he’d probably hurt her. He was too excited. It took about twenty seconds for him to realize that she was his wife and wasn’t going anywhere.
“What are you waiting on, Detective?”
At the sound of Michelle’s sultry voice, he lost it. They didn’t know, nor would they have cared, that it would take half an hour in the shower the next day to remove all the goop from the creases in their bodies and Michelle’s hair.
Chapter 18
Before Bridgette and Amaryllis walked out of their front door Monday morning, they held hands and prayed. It was the first time the two of them prayed together. The women’s crusade left a deep impression on them. On the airplane ride back home to Chicago, it was all they talked about. They were empowered and encouraged.
Amaryllis talked to God first. “Good morning, Lord. First, I wanna thank You for allowing us to experience a weekend that we’ll never forget. I personally thank You, Lord, for a new revelation. Please cleanse my body from the inside out. Lord, please don’t let another man smell my private area.”
Bridgette opened her eyes and looked at Amaryllis. She wanted to laugh, but she knew Amaryllis was sincere in her prayer. She suppressed a giggle as she closed her eyes again and listened.
Amaryllis continued. “Help me, Lord. If I gotta get some ammonia, bleach, vinegar, Ajax, liquid Tide, and Dawn dishwashing liquid and mix them together and soak in the tub for a week, Lord, I’ll do it. Whatever I gotta do, Jesus, please, please help me, ’cause I don’t want anybody to smell me, Lord.”
Bridgette was laughing so hard on the inside she had to force her lips to stay closed.
Amaryllis wasn’t done. “Lord, I give my body back to You. All of it. Even my private area. It’s Yours, Lord. And You can do what You wanna do with it.”
If Bridgette hadn’t seen Amaryllis wiping tears from her eyes, she would have given in and hollered out. What in the world could God possibly do with Amaryllis’s private area? It took all that was within Bridgette to swallow the laugh, because it was her turn to pray. She held on to Amaryllis’s hands and talked to God. “Father, You are awesome and so good, and I thank You for Your blessings. I got a new revelation this weekend too, Lord. And yes, Jesus, I’ll admit that my mouth gets me into trouble sometimes. But what am I supposed to say to people when they piss me off?”
Amaryllis’s eyes shot open, and she glared at Bridgette. I know this heifer didn’t say that to God.
“All that lady told me, Lord, was that I have a hot tongue. Well, heck, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out. I like to get folks told, Lord, and You know that. I’m just being me. Bridgette. That’s who I am. I cuss folks out. So, God, You tell me what to say to people when I really want to tell them to kiss my #$*&, because I don’t know.”
Now Amaryllis’s mouth dropped wide open. She took two steps backward while still holding Bridgette’s hands, because as sure as God was real, He was getting ready to send a lightning bolt down with Bridgette’s name on it. Amaryllis wanted to give God ample room to hit the right target.
“Okay, Lord,” Bridgette continued, “I’ll admit that there have been a few times that I might have gotten a little out of hand—but only a few times. It ain’t like I cuss people out every day. Well, actually I do cuss people out every day, Lord, but I think a lot of folks make more out of it than it really is. But sometimes, Lord, I should be justified because You know what I deal with on a daily basis. There are a lot of ignorant folks in this world, and the older I get, the less tolerance I have for silly sh—uh, stuff, Lord.”
Amaryllis took another tiny step backward.
“I tell You what, Lord; I promise not to cuss anybody out today, but I ain’t making no promises about tomorrow yet. First, we’ll see how today goes. And then You and I will take it one day at a time, okay, Lord? Do You feel me? I hope You can feel me, Jesus, because I ask these blessings in Your name. Amen.”
Bridgette and Amaryllis stepped off the elevator at 6:20 A.M. Marvin was standing at attention when they got to his post. “Good morning, Amaryllis and Sheneneh.”
Amaryllis la
ughed, but Bridgette didn’t think it was funny at all as she looked up toward the ceiling. You see what I’m talkin’ about, Lord? I just promised You that I wasn’t gonna cuss today and look what happened. This old fool got jokes. This is a perfect example of what I just talked to You about. So, You best write on my tongue because You know what I really wanna say to this wrinkled mummy.
Marvin looked at Bridgette, then up at the ceiling, then Bridgette again. “What is you lookin’ up there for?”
Bridgette forced a fake smile onto her face. “Good morning, Marvin. How are you today?”
That wasn’t the response Marvin was used to. Bridgette threw him for a loop. She was Marvin’s caffeine. He needed her to curse. His day wouldn’t go right without a heated argument with her. “What you mean, how am I today? Since when you care about me?”
Bridgette set her purse on the counter and placed her hands on top of Marvin’s hands.
“Marvin, I’ve turned over a new leaf. As of today, no cuss words will flow from my lips.” You old bastard.
Marvin looked at Amaryllis. “Is she for real?”
“I hope so, Marvin, so stop messing with her,” she told him.
Marvin took his hands away from Bridgette’s. “It ain’t gonna last. You cuss in your sleep.”
Bridgette placed her purse on her right shoulder. “Marvin, I pray that you have a blessed day. We’ll see you tomorrow.” If that corroded heart of yours is still pumping then. Bridgette was proud of herself for not speaking her thoughts. She smiled and mentally patted herself on the back. It was still early in the day, but so far, Bridgette was keeping her promise to God.
Marvin watched the ladies walk out of the building. Then he went across the street to a café and bought a cup of coffee. It was something he hadn’t done since Bridgette moved into the building. He chose to drink it without cream and sugar and frowned at the taste. The coffee was strong, but it couldn’t compare to what Bridgette normally did for him.
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