Theodosius saw Braccy and nearly flew across the common room to land on him. For a moment, Epsi thought he would hug the newcomer. From the dawning, trembling smile on Braccy's face, he thought the same. He opened his arms, reciprocating the open arms of Theodosius--and stood there, arms open, while Theodosius descended on the pile of luggage that came through with him.
"You have got to have a copy of the most recent Magical Mumbler," Theodosius snarled, after opening half of Braccy's bags and tossing most of the contents out onto the floor. Epsi was impressed to see Braccy had a valet spell in effect, immediately putting everything back into the bag as soon as Theodosius tossed it aside. "What good are you, showing up without it?"
"You didn't place an order with him, did you?" Epsi snapped, and stepped up to put herself between her cousin and Braccy, who had started to collapse into himself, trembling. "How was he supposed to even know he'd be put in the same holding dimension with you? Hmm? Neither of you got passing grades in prognostication class, so how could he know?"
"Epsibellah." Theodosius attempted a smile, which was more along the lines of straightening the downward curve of his mouth. "How wonderful to see you here, dearest cousin."
"Sixth cousin, five times removed," she reminded him, and gestured behind her for Braccy to move backwards. From the shuffling sounds, he was alert enough to notice and comply. "I've got the feeling the main reason I'm here is because I'm related to you. Should have surgically removed the connection centuries ago."
Several people tittered or sputtered, and a couple laughed outright. Those were the brave ones who didn't care if Theodosius knew how much they despised him.
"I'm surprised you're here. I would have expected you to be in the holding dimension with those who have three strikes against them, not two. After all, you went to the academy with our late, lamented queen. And you gave her chocolate."
He kicked aside the luggage he had disemboweled, sniffed, and sauntered off to a corner of the communal living area that looked like he was trying to turn it into a throne room or Mafia don's office, whichever came first.
"Thanks," Braccy whispered. He caught up the tethers of his luggage when it finished reassembling itself and levitated for easier transport to his temporary quarters.
"You're just as innocent as the rest of us." Epsi patted his shoulder. She smiled thanks to several former school chums who gathered around to welcome the timid little man.
"What did he mean, about three strikes and two strikes?" Dulcibella chirped, as their small group escorted Braccy to the cubicles that were still open for occupation.
"That's the newest thing in this investigation." Braccy gave them all an apologetic smile, as if he thought the news was his fault.
Epsi felt another flicker of guilt. Braccy and others like him thought everything was their fault because selfish, power-hungry bullies like Theodosius pounded the idea into their minds. And also because people like her, who wanted nothing to do with schoolroom fights, avoided confrontations and didn't think to stand up for the poor downtrodden souls until it was too late.
"They're sequestering all those who are under suspicion, and ranking them according to how many marks they have against them. I guess it's logical," Braccy said. "The ones with the most reasons or opportunities for killing the queen get investigated first. Those of us with less reason have to wait."
"So the really innocent ones have their lives disrupted the longest?" Dulcibella snorted, rolled her eyes and shook her head. "That's the bureaucratic mind for you. Thoroughly logical--backwards, of course."
"So how come I'm not in the three strikes holding dimension?" Epsi asked aloud. She counted off on her fingers. "Related to ugly Theo, school chum, big boatload of chocolate. How many of us imported chocolate from the Human realms for our coronation gift? Should that be counted against us, too?"
"Why would Human chocolate be any more suspect?" Beauregard asked. His voice was just as resonant and rich as it had been once it stopped breaking.
Epsi had just finished sharing Will and Phill's revelation about carob--and how Humans used it as substitute chocolate in a ridiculous effort to convince themselves they were being healthy--when a communication globe shimmered into being directly in front of her. She had two seconds to read the message that she had visitors and was to report to the visitation dimension. The next moment, she blinked and found herself in the visitation dimension. It was a good thing she hadn't been taking a bath or changing her clothes or eating or something else that would put her in an embarrassing light.
"Harry?" She looked around the room, essentially featureless, with slowly churning lavender and pink walls and floor, and a conference table and chairs that oozed up from the floor. She was alone with her three visitors--Harry, and two Fae men who looked familiar in that "I've met you before, maybe centuries ago in a really, really crowded party" way.
One was dark-haired and handsome, polished in the hereditary advocate style and wearing the Fae knock-off of Armani. The other wore Army fatigue pants, and a baggy purple T-shirt with the Tasmanian Devil slavering on it. He had shaggy, dusty brown hair, a beaked nose and slightly bugged eyes. Despite that, there was something charming and little-boyish about him that had her smiling as soon as his gaze locked with hers. She liked his slowly dawning grin and the blue and green and gold sparkles in his big, chocolate-brown eyes.
Right now, she hated all mention or thought of chocolate, but she definitely liked this bit of chocolate in her life. Not that that made any sense.
"This is my distant cousin, Kevyn. He's an advocate," Harry said, pointing to the immaculately groomed one as they settled around the table. "And this is his buddy, Guber."
"Guber!" Epsi was so glad to remember him, she nearly leaped over the table to hug him. It had been years since she had seen him. If she remembered correctly, he had stood up to Theodosius with some really clever, messily nasty tricks. That made him her hero, even before the realization that he was probably here to help Harry in her defense.
"He's a tech wizard. Human tech is his specialty," Harry added.
"We're putting together a carob detector," Guber announced, eyes sparkling, his voice rich, as if this was all a fascinating adventure he was enjoying immensely.
Epsi kept her mouth pressed in a tight smile, to avoid blurting that he had no business having so much fun when her life and liberty were at stake. It took a few seconds for her to catch on to what he was saying, and it occurred to her that Harry couldn't have found anyone better suited to help her with her problem than someone who was totally immersed in all things Human and tech.
"A carob detector? Can you do that?"
"Better this way than doing it your way," Kevyn offered with a tip of his head.
"My way? Oh--getting sick. Yeah. Not cool." She decided maybe she was on the verge of being out of her depth, so she should just sit back and let the experts handle the problem.
At least she had someone helping her on the outside.
Kevyn, she learned quickly, might be a relatively young advocate in terms of years of practice, but his time spent exploring the Human realms had given him a perspective that stood them in good stead. He specialized in any areas where Humans and Fae interacted, or problems that resulted from Fae and Human interaction. She wondered where he had been when Maurice got exiled to Divine's Emporium. Wouldn't Kevyn have been a good one to have on his side?
The four of them talked for nearly three hours, exchanging theories. Epsi had gathered up information from some of her fellow sequesterees. Many of them had imported chocolate from the Human realms, even if they hadn't gone out personally to do the purchasing. Kevyn liked her theory that maybe some of the suppliers weren't quite reputable and had adulterated the chocolate with carob for reasons of their own, especially when it came to elaborate shapes, such as the boat Epsi had ordered. He left them for a while to talk with the investigators' liaisons to propose the theory and gain access to records.
Then Harry had to step away to the
corner of the visitation dimension to take a phone call. She was thoroughly impressed with him, that he had a cell phone that could take trans-dimensional calls.
"So, how does this carob detector really work?" Epsi said, when she and Guber were alone at the table.
"We had to feed it samples of all the different kinds of carob formulas out there, from the good stuff that passes for gourmet chocolate to the really wretched stuff people think their dogs like."
"Who would feed chocolate to dogs?"
"The same people who think that dogs actually like things like chocolate and ice cream. Y'know, if it ain't the real thing, what makes them think it's gonna taste and feel like the real thing? And why train your dog to want the stuff if the real thing is gonna kill it? That's just totally loco, know what I mean?" Guber snapped his fingers and a five-dimensional display globe popped into being with a shower of multi-colored sparks that shifted through the spectrum as they faded away, and brought a fresh aroma of pine boughs to the air. "Are you gonna be bored if I show you what it's supposed to do?"
"I don't know. I've never really been into technical things. Especially Human gizmos. No time like the present to learn though, right?" She decided for all his sleepy looks, Guber was kind of cute in an adorable, worn-out-teddy-bear way. And she liked that he actually asked before he inflicted his technical schematics and demonstrations on her.
As it turned out, she wasn't bored. His globe peeled away the layers of the device as he explained what it did, so she could see the different elements of the process as they worked. It totally amazed her when she was able to follow what he said. Even better, when something escaped her and she asked for an explanation, Guber did so without giving her that "you're supposed to know something so simple, how could you be so dense?" look that a lot of people gave her when she was much younger.
Long before she was ready to go back to the holding dimension, the disembodied, de-personalized voice of the monitors informed Epsi that visiting time had ended. She was surprised to realize how sore her throat was from talking and laughing with Guber. Despite his rather off-beat appearance, he was up-to-date and informed, intelligent, and had a wicked, sharp sense of humor. Besides, he despised almost exactly the same people she did, loved the same Human TV shows, and belonged to several groups that took episodes from their favorite science fiction and fantasy TV shows and rewrote them to add new characters or fix major logic holes. Epsi had been delighted to realize there were people who dared to re-invent sacred cows, and wondered why she hadn't ever tried it. There were dozens of shows she had wished had gone a different way, after all.
Even better, Guber promised he would bring her copies of his and his friends' stories when he came back.
"You will come back?" She blushed and sparks that strobed through green to yellow to orange to red swirled around her head in lopsided orbit. "I mean, I expect Kevyn to come back, but you don't have to."
"Oh, yeah." Guber gave her a crooked smile. The whites of his eyes turned green, then blue, then purple in synch with the expanding corona of his blush.
Epsi muffled delighted giggles. How long had it been since she had made anyone blush?
"I definitely got to come back. I mean, yeah, I could probably get to work with everything you told me, but... Don't want to leave you alone in there, y'know?"
"Thanks. You guys are the best." She decided not to tell them that there were several dozen Fae just in her holding dimension, let alone the other two areas designated for different amounts of strikes against the suspects.
Epsi took a step back, startled at the sudden impulse to hug him. Then she decided, Why the heck not? Just to be safe, she hugged Kevyn first, but she held onto Guber three times longer. He had a decidedly dazed grin on his face as the two of them stepped backwards and the transportation portal opened up behind them in the wall.
Epsi was still grinning and blushing as she stepped back into the holding dimension. Her sparks strobed all the way back to purple and blue and green now, and increased their orbits, so they crashed into each other. Immediately, her companions clustered around her, demanding to know what had happened and if she had any news of the progress of the investigation.
* * * *
"Welcome back." The totally unfamiliar female voice came from behind Guber.
He honestly thought the speaker was addressing someone else, until a slim hand landed on his shoulder. Turning, he found himself gazing at an equally slim face with magico-surgi-enhanced slanted emerald eyes.
Then he realized that the voice was not only female and sexy-raspy, but it hadn't gotten any reaction from him.
Well, duh. Brain's too tangled up with Epsi and her problems and ... well, yeah, with Epsi. He muffled a chuckle, and a moment later realized he might just be in trouble. There was something about the elegant face and form that made all his self-preservation interior alarms burst into dissonance.
"Sorry, don't know you, so I'm guessing you mixed me up with someone else. Sorry." He shrugged and turned to leave.
That elegant hand turned into a claw of titanium alloy, holding him in place. Guber flinched, trying to twist sideways to free himself and then another twitch sideways to slide into another dimension. He caught himself before the second twitch--the last thing he wanted was to take this stranger with him when he fled for shelter.
"Do you mind?"
"Actually, I do." Those emeralds turned to steely gray. Guber swore he saw shark teeth behind those lavender-tinted lips. "You have a civic duty to all the Fae."
"Excuse me?" Kevyn stepped up and stared at the hand--and the invisible magic force--holding Guber prisoner. He displayed his Advocate powers and legally enhanced strength without even touching this stranger. "You're Sybellianora Prescaville of the Heredity is Best League."
She paled a few degrees, released Guber's shoulder, and stepped back.
Guber groaned, realizing exactly what civic duty this super-slim, super-hot chick referred to.
"I'm not bound by my genetics anymore, 'kay?" He held up his hands in the inter-dimensionally recognized sign of "no harm, no foul."
"Skabellious's legislation--" Kevyn began.
"Has been suspended for the unforeseeable future," Sybellianora said with a smirk that somehow managed to be elegant. "Since it hasn't passed yet, it isn't valid. Which means you're still one of four candidates for the throne with over ninety-eight percent royal blood." She held out a hand, beckoning for Guber to surrender and put his life, his sanity, and his future into her grasp.
Right at that moment, Guber mentally slapped and silently scolded himself to wake up. There were some--only a few--advantages to having that much royal blood. One of these days, he was going to sit down and go through the family tree and the mathematical calculations to figure out how he could have ninety-eight percent royal blood. It just didn't make sense to him. But who had time to spare for brain-teasers like that at a time like this?
One of those advantages was the ability to detect when influencing spells were being used, no matter how subtle the spell, no matter how delicate the control.
And this twitchy chick definitely was using an influencing spell on him. In that fraction of a second it took to figure out what was being done to him, and to fight it, Guber realized something else. Part of the spell was anchored in pheromones, meaning he should have been dragging his tongue on the ground about forty seconds ago--but he wasn't.
Mental multi-tasking was another benefit of a high concentration of royal blood.
His lack of reaction meant his physical attention was already focused on someone else of the female persuasion, and focused strongly enough that Sybellianora couldn't leverage herself in to capture his attention.
Okay, Epsi, I owe you a big one.
"Not interested, 'kay?" Guber stepped back. He wasn't too proud to put his advocate friend between him and one of the extremists who wanted to put hereditary royalty back into power. "I got better things to do with my time and powers."
"What could
be more important than taking your fated place at the helm of the ship of destiny of all Fae in every realm and dimension of reality?" Sybellianora blurted.
The panic tinting her eyes orange was almost amusing. She might have done her homework to create a spell that would subliminally influence him, but she obviously hadn't connected the dots. She should have realized that someone with that much purple blood, by default, had the sensitivity and the strength to resist anything she tried to do to him.
That was what gave the royal family the ability and advantage and leverage to become the royal family in the first place.
"Hold that thought," Kevyn said, holding up his index finger. A blue spark flashed off the tip. "Okay, I just filed a new restraining order against you and your cohorts, anyone involved in your league, and anyone who has even heard about the league. My client here has other things on his mind right now--"
"Rumor is, he's using Human technology to track down who killed Queen Mellisande," she said, stepping back the required four steps. Meaning she had just received the restraining order by Ether transmission. "Isn't that a conflict of interest?"
"If I was interested in taking over the throne, which I most definitely ain't," Guber said. "Kev, pal, can we split?"
"Definitely." Kevyn stroked his index finger downward from above his head to his waist. A slit appeared in the air and continued splitting downward, creating a dimensional short-cut. He gestured for Guber to step through ahead of him. Green sparkles flashed along the edge of the slit, marking it as a restricted access doorway. Even if she wanted to, Sybellianora didn't have the power to overcome the bureaucratic barriers and follow them.
Advocates on official business, especially when they were involved in something as serious as the death of an Administrator Queen, had even more power than purple blood and the Council and the speaker for every ministry board in all the Fae enclaves combined.
Death by Chocolate Page 4