by Denise Wells
“I don’t think I can,” I whisper. “This is all my fault. God, Kat, if he dies, they will all hate me. It will ruin his family.”
She grabs my hand and squeezes it. “None of this is your fault. Helen is the one who did this, not you. His family will understand that. He’s not going to die. He’s a tough motherfucker. I mean, no doubt he’s going to be messed up. You can’t prevent that. But you can help to prepare them by letting them know what’s going on before the hospital does.”
She has a point.
I hit the button to call Charlie.
She answers after the first ring. “Shit, if you’re calling me this quickly it means you totally pussed out, didn’t you?”
“Charlie?” I ask, my voice barely a croak.
“Remi? Is that you?” she asks. “What’s wrong? Where’s Chance? Is everything okay?”
“No,” I say, then burst into tears. I can’t breathe. I can’t talk. All I can do is cry. Kat takes the phone from me and explains everything to Charlie. She says she’ll alert her family and they will meet us at the hospital.
I bury my face in my hands to hide my tears.
Please don’t die, Chance.
Please.
*
We get to the hospital, Trevor drops me and Kat off at the entrance while he and Lexie find a place to park.
We find the front desk and ask about Chance.
“Only immediate family is allowed any information. You are?” the nurse asks.
I freeze.
What am I?
“She’s his wife,” Kat says.
I stand up straight and try to look wifely. The nurse looks at us, eyes narrowed. But anyone can see how distraught I am. That has to count for something.
Deciding to believe us, she says, “They are taking him in to surgery. If you want to wait down the hall, the doctor will be in to give you an update as soon as he can.”
Kat grabs my hand and holds it tightly as we head down the hall toward the waiting area.
“Maybe we can get someone to look at your cuts while we’re here,” Kat suggests. I give her a look in return that I hope convinces her of how little I care about her idea.
“Remi, what good are you to Chance if your cuts get infected or you get sick?”
She has a point. We flag a nurse down, who has me fill out some paperwork, then takes me into an exam room to check everything out.
“My God, what happened to you,” she asks once I’ve stripped out of my clothes.
“My uh, boy… husband’s ex held me hostage and cut me up with a scalpel.”
She laughs. Then looks up, realizing I’m serious. “Oh my God.”
“He’s the one in surgery right now with a gunshot to the leg. She shot him.”
“Jeez,” she says. “You’re definitely winning first prize for whacked out emergency room story of the day.”
I grunt in reply.
“Sorry,” the nurse continues. “That was incredibly insensitive.”
“It’s okay. Really. The story is seriously fucked up. And the worst part is, I don’t know where she went after she shot him.”
“Have you told the police?” she asks.
“Oh, yeah,” I say. “We told them everything that happened and stuff, but I wanted to get to the hospital to check on him more than I wanted to stick around and file the report.”
She nods her head. “I understand.”
She finishes checking the bandaged cuts and tells me that Kat and Lexie did an excellent job of cleaning and bandaging everything. And that the ointment she put on will prevent infection and minimize scarring. She leaves the room, and I re-dress, grateful she didn’t try to continue a conversation.
I head back out to the waiting room and let Kat know that I’m okay. After which, barely any time passes before Chance’s parents rush into the room. Or at least, that’s how it seems.
“Oh, Remi, dear girl, how are you? Have they told you anything? Is he okay? Of course he is, he’s a strong boy. What happened?” Annalise and Brian both speak at the same time. Annalise has been crying.
We sit down, and I tell the two everything that I know, with Kat interjecting every so often to clarify. Lexie and Trevor arrive soon after, with Eliza and Audrey right behind them and Charlie bringing up the rear. We fill them all in on what we know, and then we settle in to wait. I think I doze off because I wake to someone saying the words I’ve been waiting to hear for hours. “Mrs. Bauer?”
I jump up at the same time as Chance’s mom. “Yes?” we both say. She looks at me, eyebrows raised. My face reddens with embarrassment.
Kat jumps to my defense. “This is his wife and his mother, doctor. Both have the same title.” She looks around at the Bauer family. No one says a word to the contrary.
Annalise, Brian, and I approach the doctor. He tells us that the bullet had lodged in Chance’s thigh and he’d lost a lot of blood. But that Trevor tying off the wound when he did, probably saved his life. They were able to remove the bullet in surgery, but it did hit his femur at just the right angle to shatter it.
Once he recovers from the gunshot wound, he’ll still require physical therapy for the femur injury. They will try to get him up and walking as soon as possible, but he will probably still require someone to help him with everyday activities for the first week or so. In addition to a wheelchair and then crutches.
“Oh my, he’s going to just hate that, isn’t he Remi, dear?” Annalise says.
I nod dumbly.
“When can we see him?” Brian asks.
“He’s coming out of surgery now and can have very limited visitation once he wakes. Immediate family only. Wife, parents, maybe a sibling or two. But I can’t stress enough the importance of rest right now.”
“We understand.” Brian nods.
“I’ll have the nurse get you once he’s awake,” the doctor tells Brian.
Annalise clutches my arm as we return to our seats.
“Now, don’t you worry, Remi, dear. Chancey is a strong boy. It’s not his time yet. He still has to give me Bauer-named grandbabies.” She pats me on the back as she says that. It’s all I can do to halt my sputter at the idea. I’m barely used to the idea of a relationship. Babies are nowhere on my radar.
Kat comes to sit on the other side of me. She pulls my head down to her shoulder and smooths my hair back.
“Have you heard from Brad?” I ask.
She nods. “He and Ethan are good. And the Rainbow Park fire is eighty-five percent contained.”
“That’s fantastic,” I say. She nods.
“Wow. You okay?” I ask her.
She nods again. “Just blows my mind sometimes when I think about what Brad does for a living.”
“He would never put himself in harm’s way,” I say.
“I know,” she says. “But sometimes harm has a mysterious way of finding you.”
“Kat,” I say. “I didn’t come all this way in my little love journey, that you practically forced me into I might add, just to have you be single again. Not happening. We’re going to be in this relationship shit together. For a long time. I need you to help me navigate. How else will I survive?”
“You always know how to straighten a girl right up, Rem,” she says. “You just make it all about you instead of her.” She smiles. I smile back.
The nurse approaches. “Chance Bauer family?”
“Yes,” I say, at the same time Brian says, “We’re right here.”
“I can take you back now,” she says to the three of us. “He’s asking for Remi, I’m guessing that’s you?” she says just to me.
I nod. Relieved to hear that he’s asking for me. That’s got to be a good sign. Right?
Still, we reach his room, and I pause. Why the hell am I here with his parents? His sisters should be here. Or someone else. Hell, even Kat deserves to be here more than I do.
“He asked for you, dear,” Annalise says quietly, as if recognizing my hesitation.
I steel my shoulders an
d walk in.
Nothing could have prepared me for Chance in a hospital bed. Somehow, this big hulk of a man looks frail. With the IV in his arm, bandages and an oxygen mask covering his face, machines beeping all around him, and his wounded leg elevated slightly.
I make my way to his side, slowly, not sure if I should touch him. I lean down and kiss his hand. His eyes flutter open and he slowly pulls the mask from his face.
“You’re here,” he sighs. “You okay?” His voice is all gravel and rough.
Tears stream down my cheeks at a rapid rate. “I’m good, great,” I sob.
“Not crying,” he rasps with a hint of a smile.
“I’m not crying,” I say, wiping at my eyes.
“Beautiful,” he whispers. I lean down and kiss him softly. His lips one of the only areas on his face that don’t appear cut up and scraped. He looks beyond me, seeing his parents.
“Ma.”
“Don’t talk, Chancey,” Annalise says, choking back a sob. “Just rest. You just rest and know that we love you. We’ll be here when you wake up.” She leans down and kisses him on the cheek. Brian does the same. And even though I know they are close, it amazes me to see affection from parent to child. Especially parent to adult child. They leave me alone with Chance after a few minutes.
I pull a chair up next to his bedside, and lay down with my head on his chest, my hands clutching his.
I need more.
I don’t feel safe.
I need his arms around me.
“Come here,” he rasps. As if he knows my thoughts. I crawl into the hospital bed next to him and make myself as small as possible. He scoots over with a groan. I hate that he’s in such pain. But then he puts his arm around me and pulls me into his chest.
“Thank you for coming after me,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper.
“I’m pretty sure I would do anything for you,” I breathe.
“Look at me,” he says.
I want to. But I’m afraid. This moment that I feel we are about to have. It’s too much. I’m feeling too much.
Then why are you here in his hospital bed, Remi?
I take everything in around me: the antiseptic smells, the heat of his body, the firmness of the mattress, the cool push of the bed’s handrail at my back. Then I let my eyes travel up his body toward his. His chest, rising and falling steadily beneath his hospital gown. His neck, tanned from the sun and still slightly dirty from his roll down the hill. His lips which are so soft when they are on me, yet so commanding when they speak. And finally his eyes, so piercing and blue, and shining with love. It takes my breath away.
Chapter 45
Chance
I muster all the strength I can to talk. I have to tell Remi, I can’t wait any longer.
“I’m gonna take a chance here. I get that it might scare you, but it’s got to be said, Remi.” I inhale deeply and let it out slowly, the effort causes me to cough. I don’t want her to run. But if going through Helen abducting and hurting us both has shown me anything, it’s how much I love her. I want her in my life. For the rest of my life. Of that I’m certain. I want to protect her, shelter her, make her laugh, make her coffee. Make her mine.
“I love you, Chance.”
I want to hear it so badly, I’m certain I’ve imagined it. I look at her, her eyes bright and clear. Her expression filled with love. Even though I see it on her face, I want to hear it.
“Say it again.”
“I love you.” She says it with more conviction this time. But even if she didn’t, her eyes shine with it. Plain as day. My beautiful closed-off girl is letting all the emotions shine through.
I use my free hand to cup her cheek. The IV hindering my movement a bit. She nuzzles my palm, her eyes closed. I wait until she opens them again. “I love you. More than anything in this world. You are it for me. I’m so sorry this happened. So sorry about Helen. I swear I will never let anyone hurt you ever again, Remi. I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you.”
“There’s nothing to make up for,” she says. “All I wanted is for you to be okay.”
We lay there for a minute. She shifts on the bed, wincing slightly.
“Did you have someone look at your cuts?” I ask.
She nods, then asks, “What happened out there? Why did she shoot you? Where did she go?”
“She was driving straight into the fire, it was like she didn’t even see it. Or she didn’t care. I tried to get her to stop, to turn around, but she just kept accelerating, trying to get her car up the hill.”
“The top of the hill was where your date was?” Remi asks.
I nod. “She never stopped, Remi. I still don’t know how I managed to get the car door open and that’s when she shot me. I managed to roll out, but she still didn’t stop the car. Helen drove straight into the fire.”
“I’m so sorry, Chance,” Remi says, turning to kiss my chest.
“Oh, beautiful, you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one who is sorry.”
“I’m fine,” she says. “You, on the other hand, have been shot, your leg is all broken up, and your ex apparently just committed suicide by fire.”
A small part of me wishes we’d been able to get Helen the help she so obviously needed. As much as I hate her for what she did, I know that it wasn’t her doing it. It was her illness and she just needed help. Help that we couldn’t give her. I pull Remi tighter into me, so grateful to have her here.
A light knock on the door, then it opens. “Just wanted to make sure one of you hasn’t killed the other yet,” Kat says.
“Not funny,” Remi says.
“We’ve got a bet going at the station, Bauer. I give you two weeks before she kills you in your sleep. And I’m being generous.”
I smile at Kat, then turn my head to kiss my girl on the forehead.
My girl.
I’m still amazed she’s here.
“Still not funny,” Remi says to Kat. “You haven’t had a chance to go to the station to make a bet. And you aren’t even a real cop. So, shut the fuck up.”
“Someone’s a little touchy,” Kat says.
“He almost died today, Kat,” Remi whispers harshly.
“He’s fine,” Kat says. “Look at him, he’s a fucking tank.”
“See?” I look up at Remi and nod my head in agreement. “Fucking tank.” But then I start coughing and quickly lose my breath. Remi has to move the oxygen mask back over my mouth. It’s hard to be a bad ass when you can’t breathe.
The girls move to leave soon after and I take a minute to tell Lexie how much I appreciate her and Trevor. Remi’s eyes start to tear up, so I stop and let them leave.
“Love you guys,” Remi says after them.
“Love you more,” Lexie says. Kat turns back and blows us a kiss. They close the door softly behind them, only to have it open right back up.
My sisters come into the room. Remi tries to push away from me to get out of the bed, but I don’t let her. She relaxes her body and lays back down.
It’s clear that Audrey and Eliza have been crying. Charlie, not so much. But she’s a lot like Remi in that way. Won’t show her emotions to others.
“Always have to grandstand for attention, don’t you, Chancey?” Charlie says.
I shrug my free shoulder and pull the mask away again. “It worked. I got the girl,” I say with a smile.
Audrey comes toward us. “Remi, how are you? I heard, well, Helen …”
“I’m fine, Audrey, thank you for asking,” Remi says.
I turn and kiss her forehead. My girl is tough.
“I just wanted to tell you both I love you, and I’m so happy you are okay,” Eliza says. Remi stiffens in my arms.
Eliza notices. “Are you okay?” she asks Remi.
“Remi is going to have to get used to affection and attention,” I tell my sister. Guessing as to Remi’s sudden discomfort. When she relaxes back against me, I know I was right. “We have to go slow with her at first, E
liza. Ease into the endearments.”
Remi slaps me lightly on the chest. “I’m not that bad.”
Charlie and I both laugh. “Two peas, one pod,” Charlie says to Remi. “I’ve got your number, like recognizes like. They’re my freaking family and I still have a hard time with it. You’ll get used to it. They are all a bunch of gummy sweetness inside. Especially Mom, watch out for her.”
I laugh even as a wave of exhaustion washes over me. And I know that I’ve been talking too much. Doing too much. Audrey must see it on my face. “We’re gonna go. I’ll let everyone else know that you’re doing okay.”
“Thank you, Audrey,” Remi says with a yawn. I have a feeling the day is catching up to her as well.
My sisters leave the room, closing the door softly behind them.
“I should go too,” Remi says trying to push herself up.
“You aren’t going anywhere, woman. I’ve finally got you back in my arms, I’m not letting go now. Stay with me. Please.”
She snuggles farther into my side and swings one leg over mine. I’m happy she’s on the side that wasn’t shot.
“I love you, Remi.”
“I love you, Chance.”
I put the mask back over my face, close my eyes, and listen as Remi’s breathing evens, until I’m certain she’s fallen asleep.
Then, feeling at peace for the first time in days, I do the same.
Epilogue
Chance – Six Weeks Later
My family has a barbecue planned for today to celebrate my ‘graduation’ from the wheelchair to crutches. My leg has been healing nicely, and faster than the doctor predicted. I’ve followed all of his instructions, for the most part. We did start having sex sooner than I should have. But when you are in love with a woman like Remi, you can’t help yourself. Or at least, I can’t help myself.
She practically forced me to move in with her after I was released from the hospital. I’ll admit, it didn’t take a lot of convincing. One, because I am head over heels gone for this girl. And two, because my apartment is upstairs, with no elevator. So getting to it was near impossible. Her house is a one-story mid-century rambler on a large lot with a fenced yard, and Hudson loves it. I deprived him of a decent yard for too long.