Talmus, on the other hand, was a womanizer; the very thing she hated in a man. But she was still secretly proud of him, because what man could really claim manliness if women weren't drawn to him. It was the girls own mothers fault if they found themselves used and discarded by Talmus. After all, Ramsey was above such behavior because of Pamela's own diligent efforts to educate her and raise her to be better than the masses of man-hungry girls populating the earth. She was a good mother and she knew it and was proud of it.
#
Pamela was having breakfast on the back porch of her thirty-one-year-old home in Maple Cove when her cell phone rang. Her life was such a simple little affair that she knew whom it was before answering. In truth, she had no friends.
"Good morning, Ramsey! How are you this fine morning," she chirped.
"Momma, guess who was just in the office," Ramsey said.
Pamela frowned at the emotion in her daughter's voice. She sounded winded and excited and Ramsey was never ever winded or particularly excited about anything. In fact she was more composed than Pamela was.
"Well, don't keep me in suspense. I hate when people say guess what about something when they know good and well you couldn't guess in a million years," she said irritably. "It's a waste of breath."
Ramsey counted to ten. Her mother could be so exasperating. She didn't know why she was calling her anyway. She probably wouldn't even remember who Jackson was. Her nose was always so far up in the air.
"Jackson Steele was here with his grandfather. You know I shouldn't be telling you this. It breaks the confidential laws of my profession, but he was here in flesh and blood," she finished.
"So, what did the little rapist have to say for himself," Pam said hatefully. She never could stand Jackson and when he made his one fatal mistake it had been her pleasure to banish him from her neighborhood. Even before then she had started having nightmares about little Jackson-Ramsey babies taking over the cove. She was desperate to get Ramsey away from that boy and then he had played right into her hands.
"What did you say," Ramsey said quietly from the other end.
"Oh, please Ramsey. I know we never discussed it, but I know he raped you," she said.
Ramsey stared at the phone in her hand and told herself to breathe. "Momma, who told you he raped me."
"Your brother saw the whole terrible thing, which is probably why he's so immoral. Sleeping with different women every night and carrying on like sex can run out like money or food. He makes me sick sometimes," she said.
Ramsey was reeling. She sat down at her desk, gently placed the phone on the table and held her head for a minute. She could hear her mother's voice chattering away oblivious of the shock she had just given her. Ramsey snatched the phone up.
"Momma, what did you do back then? He disappeared and you never ever said anything to me about it. What did you do?"
"Oh, you better believe I handled that situation. I called the authorities and pressed charges against his little behind."
Ramsey was beside herself. She was absolutely horrified at what was spilling out of her mother's mouth. "You did what?!"
"Oh, he didn't go to jail. I made a deal with his folks. As a matter of fact it was Maximus who saved his little nasty butt. He promised to take him away to live with him in the country, if I dropped the charges. Why all the questions honey? He was no good and that's exactly what comes to no-good-
people….no good. I bet he's got dreadlocks, gold teeth and a heavy fake gold chain hanging around his neck doesn't he? Tell me everything, mommy's listening baby."
"You messed up, momma. You made a really, really big mistake. He did not rape me. That was his first time too. He didn't even know what he was doing! Jackson was not a bad person. I let him do that to me. If I had said no at any point he would have stopped. You --"
"Stop right there, Ramsey Laughterdale. I don't want to hear anymore about what happened. You were raped. It’s a well-known fact that rape victims suffer from guilt and often feel they were to blame. The mistake I made was not getting you some professional help. You stay away from that man. Do you hear me?"
For the first time in her life Ramsey did a very, very disrespectful thing to her mother. She hung up on her. She pressed the red button so hard it jammed in its recess and would not come out. She threw the phone across the room. Rage swelled in her chest and splintered into sorrow for the sixteen-year-old boy who'd made a mistake. She cried and cried until her associates came in and told her to go home. They were more than willing to cover her patients for her.
To be honest no one knew what to think about Ramsey's fit. She was not an emotional female and to see her sobbing scared the wits out of them all. They wondered who had died. All watched sorrowfully as she left the office and wondered when she'd be composed enough to tell them which family member she had lost.
CHAPTER 4
There was only one person in the world that Ramsey would dare discuss Jackson with. That was her father. Herby Laughterdale was a kind and unassuming man. He'd had the same job for thirty years and was neither educated nor wealthy. He was simple and often saw things in black and white, as is the case with most simple-minded people. He was easy to talk to and had a wisdom that's only gifted to those who don't give a darn about what other people think.
When Ramsey had called him out of the blue on her eighteenth birthday and asked why he left them, he'd said, "If you think you're grown enough to know the answer to that question, then prove it and tell Pam you're coming to see me."
Well, needless to say, Ramsey never got the answer to that question, because she would have sooner gouged her own eyes out than tell her militant mother that she was going to see her daddy. So, she opted for the easy way out and began spending time with Herby behind Pam's back. That was eleven years ago and Pam still had no idea that Ramsey and Herby had a healthy father-daughter relationship.
"Dad, can you talk," Ramsey sobbed into the phone.
"Girl, what's wrong with you," he asked anxiously.
"I need to tell you about something that happened when I was sixteen. It’s a long story. Do you have time?" she asked again.
Herby backed up to his old ratted recliner and settled into it. He waited as Ramsey tried to compose herself enough to make sense. He was concerned, but he sensed and wisely so, that the less he said the better things would go.
He listened to her for about thirty minutes as she told of how she had lost her virginity to a boy named Jackson Steele and how she'd kept it to herself all these years thinking it was her secret. When she got to Pamela's involvement in the incident, Herby clenched his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut. That woman was a menace. He must have been out of his mind to let her have his children. He'd pacified himself over the years with the thought that even though she was a controlling maniac and verbally abusive wife, she'd been a good mother. His kids, after all, were college educated and had everything they needed and more.
"I…I haven't been with anyone since then, because the act was just too intimate and when I see men, I think about where it all leads and I just haven't wanted that. Does that make me crazy?"
Herby came out of his own ruminations with a start. Did he just hear her correctly? Did his beautiful and well-educated daughter just say she hadn't had sex since the boy took her virginity? Herby's mind scrambled numbers and came up with twenty-nine. She was twenty-nine years old and she hadn't had sex since her virginity was taken at age sixteen. He could have understood if it was for religious reasons and for the sake of chastity, but this was something else and he knew something was very wrong.
"Ramsey." He knew his voice sounded strangled. He cleared his throat. "The first time is always bad for girls, but you're a doctor. You know why the first time hurts a female."
"It's not that. It's just that none of it was precisely good. I have feelings like normal women, I guess. I feel arousal like anyone else, but Momma said that it’s a trick God played on women. She said that the good feeling ends where the act be
gins. So, I just don't waste my time on that. But I do feel bad that Jackson's family thinks he raped me. What should I do?"
Herby was angrier now than he'd been in probably a lifetime. Pamela had warped his daughter's mind. He couldn't believe she'd filled Ramsey's head with nonsense. The good feeling ends where the act begins? He wanted to wrap his hands around her neck and choke the life out of her or better yet beat her. Pam had enjoyed sex. He could still remember her nails clawing into his back during her orgasms. She'd had no inhibitions. So, what was this bull crap she was telling Ramsey and why?
"Ramsey, tell the boy's family the truth and as for you, stop listening to your mother. She's a liar. You're a big believer in education. So, educate yourself. Take some sex education classes or get some books and do your research. You got the sex thing all wrong. Now, I gotta go. Just do what I said do and you'll be fine. Bye now."
Ramsey opened her mouth to speak, but heard the dial tone. He'd hung up on her. She frowned and shrugged her shoulders. "Now what was that all about," she said to herself. At any rate, she felt much better. She always did after talking to her father. He had great advice every time. Although she'd rather die than be caught attending a sex education class, she was not adverse to purchasing books on sex and educating herself in the privacy of her own home. Seeing Jackson again had stirred up feelings inside of her. She was interesting in moving on with her life. A little self-education wouldn’t hurt at all.
She also felt a weight being lifted in knowing that she could make amends and free herself from the terrible guilt, by just telling Jackson's folks the truth.
#
Jackson was not ordinarily a rule breaker, but he was loathed to go home to the little house in the woods without his grandfather. Having lived in the bustling city of California, dark, lonely, country lanes were extremely unappealing and a little intimidating. So, he pulled the curtain between his grandfather's bed and the vacant bed in the small hospital room. Making sure his grandfather was fast asleep he slipped behind the curtain, fluffed the pillow, stretched out on the bed, and promptly fell asleep. His last thought was of a cocoa-brown skinned woman with thick hips and thighs, a delectable mole beneath her bottom lip, and eyes filled with derision.
So, when he heard her voice, he thought he was dreaming. That is until he understood what she was saying.
"Mr. Maximus, I don't know if you can understand me, but I just want you to know that Jackson did not rape me. It was something that just happened between us. I was crying and he tried to make me feel better. If I had asked him to stop, he would have. It was his first time too. He didn't even know what he was doing. It was so awful, but it wasn't rape," she whispered.
Jackson listened in disbelief. Did she think anyone cared about her confession of the truth after all these years? Maximus and he had hashed the truth out a decade ago. Maximus Steele was nobody's fool. He had gotten the truth out of his grandson and he didn't need it from some snobbish little suburban raised doctor. Jackson jumped out of bed and snatched the curtain open. It made him happy to see the shock on her face. Her mouth fell open and she clutched the chart in her hands to her chest.
"He knows I didn't rape you. Why do you feel the need to tell the truth now, Ramsey? Nobody cares anymore. The damage was done and I paid the price. So, just do what you went to school to do and be a doctor. Leave the past where it belongs," he snarled.
Ramsey stood on shaky legs and faced Jackson. She knew he was angry and he had every right to be.
"I didn't know they knew, Jackson. When I told momma you were in town, she started talking about what she'd done. I…I never told anyone about what happened. She said Talmus saw us and that he told her. She never said a word to me back then. I swear I never knew what happened to you until today."
CHAPTER 5
He believed her. Her eyes and lips were swollen from crying and she was obviously upset by the whole thing. Jackson didn't know what to do or what to think. He ran his hand down his face and stared down into hers.
"Ramsey, I don't understand how it's possible that your mother kept all the trouble she caused a secret from you, but knowing Pam, I can kinda see it. It doesn't matter anymore. It was probably best that I left to live with granddad after that anyway."
His eyes left hers to wander fondly over his sleeping grandfather. Maximus Steel had done more than save him, he had helped him become a good man, one that knew how to work hard and give as much respect as he wanted in return.
"I would like to tell your parents the truth too," she whispered.
Jackson felt his body stiffen. It had been a very long time since he'd been in the presence of this kind of woman. He wasn't going to kid himself. He knew what sort of woman she was. Ramsey was the marrying kind of female. She was wholesome, loyal to a fault, sensitive to other's needs, and all soft and silk beneath those professional clothes she was wearing. She was just the kind of woman he'd spent all of his adult life running from.
"Uh, that won't be necessary," he said briskly. He reached to put a hand in the small of her back to escort her out of the room, but snatched it back just before touching her. She faced him again and he could feel the heat of her body tipping into his personal space. He stepped back.
"No. I have to tell them the truth." Her lips trembled and he watched nervously as her eyes filled with tears.
"Ramsey, please. You're making too much out of this. We're in our thirty's. It doesn't matter anymore. Just let it go," he begged.
"But you were just sixteen and they made you leave the cove and your parents. I remember why it happened. I was crying and you were trying to console me," she said.
"I was obviously trying to do more than that," he said honestly.
Maximus began coughing and Jackson was relieved. He suspected Maximus' timing was a little too good. But at any rate, the teary-eyed woman disappeared and the doctor instantly reappeared. She raised Maximus' bed and called for a nurse to check his vitals. As Ramsey busied herself with Maximus, Jackson slipped out of the room. He needed a moment to think about the implications of all she had said.
He found the elevator and took it down to the first floor. The lobby of the hospital was decked out with state of the art furniture. Huge, plush black leather couches were scattered throughout a massive sitting area for family and patient's waiting for admission. Coffee stations were here and there. There was ample enough room for a person to find a private corner to think, which is exactly what Jackson did.
He tumbled into a love seat facing a gigantic fireplace, rested his head against the back of the seat, and began to think. Ramsey hadn't known he'd been accused of raping her. She had no idea why he disappeared. What must Pamela have been thinking? She probably had done more damage to her own daughter than to him. So, Ramsey had kept it to herself all this time; thinking no one knew what had happened between him and her. No wonder she'd been angry when she first saw him. She thought he'd just left without a word.
Jackson sat very still and tried to put himself completely in her shoes. This was something he was good at doing. Maximus had hammered into his head the need for empathy not just for friends, but for enemies too. Once a man knew, and more importantly understood, what drove another man he was in a better position to deal with him and even outwit him if need be.
But when he finished meditating, he was thoroughly dissatisfied. He needed to know why she kept the secret. He also needed to know what kind of freaking momma Pamela had been to her. Something wasn't right about their daughter-mother relationship. It wasn't his business, but before he allowed Ramsey to go making amends for some wrong she thought she'd done him, she was going to have to let him make some amends of his own.
#
Herby took another swig of gin and got on his knees. He dug around underneath his bed for a small wooden box with a lock on it. After sifting through an unholy amount of dust, old work boots and books, he found it. The combination to the lock had been long forgotten, which should have been a good symbol for him, but right now
he needed to get the darn box open.
He tucked it under his arm and grabbed his bottle of gin. When he got to the kitchen he sat both items on the counter and looked around for a hammer. Within seconds the wooden box was splintered open to reveal a long-forgotten wedding ring and the key to his house on Maple Cove. He slipped the wedding ring on his left ring finger and put the key in his pocket.
The conversation he'd just had with Ramsey had messed with his head and he wanted to get his hands on his wife so badly it shook him to the core. He had no idea what he would do with her once he got his hands on her, but he'd worry about that when he got there. That woman had been the end of what could have been a good life for him. She and her cat eyes and small waist. She'd chosen him and he had fallen into her arms like a horny little boy. He remembered his disbelief that a woman so beautiful and so intelligent would choose little old him. Hah! What a bunch of baloney. She turned out to be a nightmare. She was insanely jealous from the start. He couldn't go to the corner market at night without being accused of sleeping with the cashier. She was controlling to the point of causing him a nervous breakdown. It was either whiskey or psychotic medicine and he'd chosen whiskey. Then when they had the babies she'd gone from bad to worse. When she accused him of fondling three-year-old Ramsey, he'd left. That was the end of that. He still hadn't forgiven her, but he understood. Her own father had molested her. She didn't know how to trust anyone. Understanding still didn't stop the crushing pain that came with the accusation. It had been a long road to recovery for him. He had done the only thing he felt he could do in that situation. He left. Staying would have torn the family apart in the worst sort of way and in his mind he felt the children needed their mother more than him. He wasn't so sure now.
The Shocking Truth About Ramsey Page 2