"They put me in jail, Herby. They thought I was trying to kill you," she said.
"It looks like you almost did," his voiced rasped.
She took the cup away and sat it down softly on the side table and turned back to him.
"What were you thinking sneaking into my house at night like that," she whispered urgently.
"I wanted to talk to you about Ramsey," he said. "And by the way that house is mine, not yours. I just let you live there."
Pam snatched her head to the side and looked to see if anyone had entered the room and could hear them. "Shut up. You don't even know Ramsey. You don't know either one of your kids. You left them when they were babies. Remember," she said scathingly.
"Don't play like you don't remember why I left, Pam. You have a lot of explaining to do and I'm going to give you the opportunity to tell those kids about your past and about us," Herby winced. Pain was throbbing around his wounds and it was taking his breath away.
"Do you need some pain medicine," she asked concerned.
"Yes," he gasped.
She turned and ran out of the room. He knew she wouldn't be back. She was a runner. She wouldn't face the past unless he forced her too, which he had every intention of doing as soon as he could get out of the hospital bed. It was important for his children to know and understand so they could salvage their own lives. He had failed his family terribly and was glad to be alive to make amends.
He also had some unfinished personal business with Pam. She was still beautiful and she could still satisfy him. The chemistry between them hadn't changed a bit. Marriage wasn't a factor, because they'd never divorced. Their lives were like a movie put on pause. With the click of a button it could begin again. Herby smiled against the pain. He knew exactly which button to push.
#
After talking with Herby's nurse, Pam entered a private hallway bathroom and locked the door. She stood in front of the sink and looked at the woman in the mirror. She hated her. Putting her hands over her face she sobbed. Herby knew too much about her. The sight of his kind face and the calm of his understanding nature had always undone her. He was a reminder of how needy she was and she hated him for it. None of it had been his fault, but he was the one who had the proverbial finger to stick into her wounds and open them anew. She loved him; she hated him; she wanted him dead; and she wanted him alive. Pam fell to the bacteria-infested bathroom floor and broke down completely. She gave in to her pain for the first time in many, many years. At the end of the deluge she was left with nothing but tears and an aching regret. She'd mistreated and abused her husband and now she'd shot him. He was the one person who had been her salvation in more ways than one. Her throat ached with the need to cry some more, but instead she got up off the floor and decided to go home. She had some thinking to do. She would take time to think more about the people she loved and less about herself.
CHAPTER 12
Ramsey glanced at Herby's chart at the nurse's station before going down to his room. His vital signs were fine and he'd asked for pain medication only once this morning. He had eaten breakfast and would soon be eating lunch. She was satisfied that he would live. So, she entered his room with a bright smile and a happy greeting.
"Your mother left about an hour ago," he said.
Ramsey sat in the only chair in the room and crossed her arms over her chest. She had a few questions for him, but she didn’t want to tire him out. The fact still remained that he had lost a lot of blood. She didn't ask about her mother either. She would find out soon enough how she was doing.
"How are you feeling, daddy," she asked.
"I'm a little sore, but fine considering that your mother shot me point blank through the chest," he mumbled.
"Daddy, is all of this my fault," she asked.
"Child, please. You play a very, very small part in the dynamics that make up me and Pam," he said.
"Well enlighten me. You guys haven't been together for over twenty years and then you decide to sneak into her house late at night with a key that you obviously already had and I would love to hear an explanation for that, but first things first. Why did you go to momma's house," she asked.
"I wanted to see her," he said evasively.
Ramsey rolled her eyes. "You're not going to tell me are you? You're not going to explain why the police are saying you own her house either. You and momma have some pretty seedy secrets don't you?"
"Did you talk to that young man's folks," he asked to change the subject. But then he became genuinely interested when Ramsey's face changed. She literally squirmed and he'd never seen her squirm before.
"Yes, I did as a matter-of-fact" she said.
"And?"
"I feel better, that's all."
"I don't believe you. Something else happened. Go on and tell me, babygirl. I promise I won't go get shot again."
"Daddy, it's personal and I'm not ready to talk about it."
"Oh, so you were with him last night. I was wondering why you weren't with me when I woke up. I asked after you and no one in the hospital could find you. I thought it was strange, but I was too drugged up to think any further about it. So, did anything happen that I should know about?"
He already knew the answer. It was written all over her face. She was embarrassed and he was making it worse. He was so relieved he could have yelled out loud. He had to be the first father on earth to be happy about his daughter having sex before marriage, but these were admittedly unusual circumstances. She didn't have the look of a woman who had had a bad experience either. She looked more relaxed actually. He couldn't help the smug grin that spread across his face. She saw it and burst out laughing.
"You are so bad, daddy. Yes, it was good and yes, I'm happy about it. I feel free and now I have a lot of living to catch up with. So, if you will excuse me, I have to go."
"Where you going," he said, alarmed. "I can't sit up here in this hospital bed looking at the walls all day. I need some company. Your momma ran away from me and now you're going off to find lover boy. Bring me some magazines to read or something, because I can't stand watching television."
"First of all, I am not going off to find lover boy. That was a one-night stand. I don't plan on going anywhere near him again. I'm going to find some nice, unassuming man that doesn’t have to be in control of everything," she said.
Herby felt stirrings of unease. Now what was she talking about? If she enjoyed Jackson, why would she avoid him and what did control have to do with anything.
"So, you're done with Jackson?"
"Yep," she said, as she adjusted the sheets across his feet. He was glad too, because the room temperature was cooler than he liked and his feet were very sensitive to cold air.
"Does he know you're done with him, Ramsey?"
"No. I left before he woke up. I'll tell him when I make my rounds today. I did tell you that his grandfather is in the hospital didn't I? He's my patient."
"Babygirl, you are in for a rude awakening. I hope you didn't tell him that you hadn't had sex since he took your virginity."
Ramsey looked uncomfortable, but there was no sense in withholding anything from him now. "Well, as it turns out, I've been a virgin all along, but that changed last night."
"Oh my God," Herby said. He reached for the pain pump and pushed the button for more pain medication. A sweat broke out over his forehead. "I hope you realize that getting away from that man will be impossible, unless he's some kind of fool. A man his age appreciates the value of a virgin and once he's had one, in his mind she's his. You won't get away so easily and personally I don't see why you would want to unless he's deformed, mean, or immoral."
Herby fell silent and then remembered that she said she had left before Jackson woke up.
"And you'll find out soon enough whether or not he's mean, because if you left him before he woke up and without a word after giving him your virginity, he's probably not in a very good mood."
Ramsey felt unsure for the first time. She had awaken
ed at around five o'clock in the morning, which was her usual time to wake up. She was on her stomach, which was her favorite sleeping position, and Jackson's heavy arm was across her back. She'd lain there for a moment getting acquainted with the sensation of waking up in bed with a man. Then when her woman's center began pulsating and throbbing she made up her mind to leave. She'd never before in her life waken up with such a persistent arousal in the pit of her stomach and between her legs. She knew it was Jackson and she was afraid of it. She wasn't one to relinquish control easily. She had gotten up, put her clothes on, and fled.
She looked at her father and noticed that he was studying her face closely. He no longer had that ridiculous smile on his face. Instead he looked worried.
"Ramsey, chemistry cannot be created and controlled. Just because it was good with Jackson, doesn't mean it will be good with every man. If there's something special there, don't be too quick to throw it away. Most men are a little aggressive. It doesn't mean they want to control everything. I think you should just give him a chance," he said gently.
Ramsey didn't say anything, but in her heart she knew that Jackson was not the one for her. He had been good, but he had pushed her and bullied her into that orgasm. She was Pam's daughter after all. She didn't take commands from anyone. Little miss obedient Ramsey was long gone. She could be just as militant as her mother towards men and she knew the value of freedom. She'd had it for far too long. No, Jackson couldn't fit into her life. He was too big and his character was too strong. She needed a different sort of man entirely and she'd find him too, because she had no intention of going back to a celibate lifestyle.
CHAPTER 13
Maximus was sitting up in bed eating his Jell-o pudding when Jackson entered the room. He didn't take his eyes from the television when Jackson spoke to him. Jackson sighed and settled his tall frame within the chair by his bed.
"Granddad, don't be mad," he said.
"Don't be mad at me either," he said. He sounded stronger and Jackson was relieved.
"What is that supposed to mean," he asked.
"Your daddy called while you were missing," he paused to add emphasis to the 'missing' part. "When the nurses couldn't find you, he went crazy. Said he was taking the first flight out. He should be here soon and he ain't happy, Jackson. Where were you, son?"
"I was with Ramsey," Jackson said. "So, what else did he say?"
"He said he was coming to take me home with him," Maximus said sadly. "I'd rather go to a nursing home than move to California. Lord, I don't know what's gone happen to me now."
It broke Jackson's heart. His granddad had gone out of his way once to make his life easier. He'd made sure Jackson never once got bored out on that dark country road. It had been a true labor of love carrying a teenage boy wherever he wanted to go whenever he wanted to go, but Maximus had done it.
He knew he'd failed him. Now his dad was coming and if Jackson was bullheaded and stubborn, Frank Steele was worse. Once his mind was made up, there was practically no use at all in arguing the point. But Jackson would take a stand this time. He had several reasons why leaving Mississippi and returning to California were not in his best interest and this was one argument with Frank Steele he would win.
In the meantime, he had a doctor to find. He rang for the nurse and demanded that she get Dr. Ramsey Laughterdale to his grandfather's bedside immediately. He had no wish for Ramsey to walk up on his father before he'd had a chance to warn her how Frank felt about her and her mother. They would all be hard pressed as it was to explain how Maximus had been placed in the enemy's hands.
#
After calling a local handyman to come replace the glass in her living room window, Pam went into her bedroom and sat on the bed for a long time. She let her mind open up slowly. Long forgotten memories, faces, and voices cautiously emerged. She let them crowd painfully back into her psyche. Gripping the covers of her bed, she trembled her way back into her tumultuous past. When she grew afraid and tried to banish the memories, they persisted and prevailed up on her reluctant spirit.
Exhausted and temporarily debilitated, she fell against the covers into a fitful sleep and a nightmare. The little girl's face appeared first as that of a baby and then that of a teenager. She looked like Pam and Ramsey, but she looked like the monster too. It terrified Pam and she shook within her dream. The child couldn't walk and couldn't talk. All she did was scream. Her screaming went on and on and the scream eventually changed from that of a woman to that of a man. The feminine mouth became a masculine mouth and Pam watched helplessly as her father's face materialized and the screaming became hers instead of his.
The dream became so intense that Pam forced herself awake and away from it. She woke up drenched in sweat and ran to the bathroom. Vomit spewed from her mouth before she could reach the toilet. Falling to her knees, she hugged the toilet seat and was violently ill a few more times before she calmed enough to strip off her clothes and stand beneath the hot water of a shower.
An hour later she was dressed and composed. She waited impatiently on the couch as the man replaced the window. She had already gotten Herby's blood off the floor. Everything was almost back to normal, but Pam knew it was only a superficial normalcy and that nothing would ever again be back to normal and that nothing had ever really been normal in the first place.
#
When Talmus had awakened to find his mother standing over his bed in a demon-like rage he knew he couldn't deal with her. He'd done exactly what she demanded. He had taken her to the hospital to be with Herby, his so-called dad, and left. She hadn't said, "Thank you for getting me out of jail," or "Thank you for putting me to bed and taking care of me last night," or anything. She had just gotten out of his car, slammed the door and stalked into the hospital. She was mad at him for some reason and Talmus was clueless as to why. He didn't know if it was because she thought his house was a den of iniquity and was incensed that she woke up to find herself in it or what. She certainly had never stayed at his house before. She had come to see how he was living, but that had been it.
Talmus felt bereft and he hated himself for it. He had all these feelings inside of him and the only people he had in the whole world, didn't even know it. They had no appreciation for him and what he represented. The only people that knew the complete essence of him were non-relatives. He was lonely and in need of companionship for the evening. He wanted to get his mind off of his dysfunctional family and their problems. So, he decided to hit the clubs for the evening. With that in mind, he headed back home to sleep away the day. He had a full night of debauchery ahead of him and he wanted to be well rested and ready for it.
#
Ramsey knew it was Jackson doing the summoning. So, she took her time. It was two hours later when she made it to Maximus' room. When she walked into the room, her eyes naturally found Jackson's first and he shook his head and looked away. It was then that she noticed Frank Steele standing by Maximus' bed. He had not changed over the years. He was the exact same build as Jackson and Ramsey was briefly taken aback by their resemblance. Where Jackson was handsome and irresistible, Frank was hard and unbending.
His eyes landed on her and narrowed. When Jackson left the cove, Frank had stopped speaking to her mother and he had treated Ramsey as if she was an invisible child. Jackson's mom had been less abrasive in her disapproval. She seemed to understand that Ramsey was only a child and had saved her animosity for Pamela alone. She'd given Ramsey a couple of upside down smiles and unenthusiastic waves, but eventually they had moved away and Ramsey wondered now how much of their decision to move could be placed at her mother's feet as well.
She sensed the tension in the room and decided to be a doctor and nothing more to the three men in the room.
"Hello, Mr. Steele. Did the nurse's update you on your father's status?"
"No. I just got here and I can see by the name on your lab jacket why no introduction is necessary. I do have one question though," he said coldly.
"Ye
s," Ramsey said raising an eyebrow.
"How is it that you out of all the doctors in the Tri-State area became my father's doctor," he asked incredulously. "You must know that this is totally unacceptable to me."
There it was. The direct cut. It never really mattered who you were or what station you held in life, a cut was a cut and it hurt and it bled. Ramsey was embarrassed and angry, but she was a professional. She was ready for whatever Mr. Frank Steele put on her and there was more.
"I see now why I couldn’t get Jackson on the phone last night. He probably couldn't stand the sight of you. How is your lying mother by the way? I hope her health is good."
"Dad, I was with Ramsey. She had nothing to do with what Mrs. Laughterdale did and you need to remember that Mrs. Laughterdale is her mother. So, please be careful about what you say," he warned softly.
Everyone watched as Frank began sputtering and talking so loudly and incoherently that Ramsey thought she would have to call security once again. But thankfully, Maximus spoke up.
"Frank, quit acting like a fool. That stuff happened years ago and these kids are grown and got their own lives now. You know that people pick doctors and doctors don't pick people. We asked for the best and we got Ramsey. So, sit down and shut up until somebody gets enough time to fill you in on everything," he said.
"I don't need to be filled in. She is not your doctor and I am glad I got here in time. Jackson you have disappointed me again. After all that happened, you're ready to just believe anything that comes out of her mouth because of the way she looks. Well, she could look like Beyonce and it wouldn't sway me one bit. Young lady you're dismissed. We don't need your services. My dad is going to another hospital right now."
He was so ridiculous in his rage, Ramsey was only minimally hurt by his words. She chose to ignore him and turned towards Jackson, which was her first huge mistake of the day. His nostrils flared when she turned his way and his chest rose. His eyes swept over her body hungrily and her stomach dipped. She felt her toes curl.
The Shocking Truth About Ramsey Page 5