Annie thought about protesting. She didn’t know whether she had the energy to deal with Raphael in her house. It was hard enough to hide the way she felt about him at work, but alone with him, with her guard down? The last thing she wanted was for him to guess, if, God forbid, he hadn’t already done so. But Raphael was already out of the car and was holding her door open.
‘I won’t take no for an answer,’ he said firmly. ‘You’re tired. Making you something to eat is the least I can do.’
He stretched out a hand and Annie had no choice but to take it. As she felt his hand wrap around hers she felt a warmth suffuse her body. It would be so good to have someone who cared about her. Someone who wanted this baby as much as she did, because they had deliberately made it out of love. But that wasn’t going to happen. But just this once, just for tonight, even if it was only inside her head, couldn’t she pretend that they were a normal couple looking forward to the birth of their baby, knowing they had the rest of their lives to look forward to?
‘I want to do something for you.’ He looked at her intently. ‘Please?’
She couldn’t refuse the look of entreaty in his deep brown eyes.
‘Okay,’ she said. ‘I give in. Just as long as it is better than the breakfast you made me.’
Annie showered, leaving Raphael to rummage around in her kitchen for the ingredients for a meal. By the time she returned, delicious smells of bacon and garlic were wafting through the kitchen.
‘What can I do?’ she asked.
‘Nothing. Just sit there and look beautiful,’ Raphael replied, settling her into an armchair.
‘I’m not ill, you know,’ she protested, but she couldn’t stop a smile from creeping across her face. He had called her beautiful. Did he really think so, or was it just part of the patter he gave every woman? The thought wiped the smile off her face. Don’t think about that just now, she told herself. Just enjoy being here with him tonight.
After they had eaten—and Raphael was right, the frittata was delicious—Raphael made them some coffee. They sat in companionable silence for a while.
‘What are you hoping for?’ Raphael asked suddenly. ‘A boy or a girl?’
‘Oh, I don’t mind. I’m just so happy to be having a baby at all. As long as it’s healthy…’ She laughed. ‘You know, when mothers used to say that, I wasn’t ever sure whether I believed them or not. Now I know that they meant it.’ Suddenly she felt a kick just below her ribs. ‘Oops,’ she said. ‘The way this one is kicking, I think we may have a footballer on our hands.’
In a flash, Raphael was off his chair and on his knees beside her. He looked up, searching her eyes. ‘Can I feel?’ he asked.
She nodded, suddenly breathless. He placed his hand gently on her stomach, just as the baby gave another vigorous kick. As she looked down on Raphael’s bent head, she was tempted to place her hand on his thick curls and run her fingers through his hair. It took all her willpower to resist the impulse. Especially when he looked up at her and she saw the tenderness in his eyes.
‘I would like a girl,’ he said. ‘One who looks just like you. A girl who is just like you.’
Her breath caught in her throat. He reached up and took her hand, kissing each finger in turn. The pressure of his lips was an exquisite pain and every bit of her cried out to be taken in his arms and kissed senseless.
Slowly he rose to her feet and pulled her upright. Then she was in his arms and he was kissing her. Unsure, she pulled away slightly but as he held her closer, dropping his hands to her hips, there was no mistaking his desire for her. She closed her eyes and gave in to the feelings shooting around her body. If he hadn’t been holding her, she didn’t think her legs could have kept her upright.
Suddenly he pulled away. He was breathing deeply, his eyes black with desire. She almost whimpered when she felt him release her.
‘Mierda,’ he said. ‘It is not good to make love. Not now.’
But then she was back in his arms. His hands were on her breasts, his touch sending hot flashes of need to her groin. Slowly he pulled open her dressing gown, revealing her bra and panties and her swollen belly. She covered her belly with her hands, feeling shy.
‘Let me see,’ he demanded. ‘Don’t you know how beautiful you are to me, especially now, with my baby growing inside you?’
He eased the dressing gown off her shoulders and lowered her onto the rug beside the fire, the flickering light playing across his features. He dipped a hand under her bra and she felt her nipples tighten in response. Why was he doing this? He had just said they couldn’t make love. Then his hand reached behind her back and he undid the clip of her bra. Her breasts sprang free and he cupped them, his thumbs circling her nipples sending shock waves of pleasure through her.
‘Ah,’ he said, a smile on his lips ‘But I didn’t say there weren’t other ways of making love that would be safe for the baby.’ He trailed a hand down over her stomach. His hand rested there for a moment, then he lowered his head and took one of her nipples into his mouth. Annie was lost. She could no more have stopped him than she could have carried an elephant on her back. Every touch of his fingers made her want more. The sensations in her body were overpowering. She knew it wouldn’t be long before she had to give in, but at the same time she never ever wanted him to stop doing what he was doing.
His hand resting on her belly slid lower until it was resting just at the top of her panties. He pulled his head away and looked into her eyes. ‘Do you want me to stop?’ he asked. She shook her head, unable to speak. She had just enough time to see the triumph in his eyes before he was slipping his hand under the silk and between her legs. Then she was moving against him, unable to prevent her body’s response to his touch. Then slowly, as he touched her gently at first, then with increasing pressure and pace, she felt her body explode with pleasure and she cried his name.
Eventually the world steadied around them and Raphael held her in his arms as her breathing returned to normal. She wondered at his self-control, that he could have the restraint to love her without asking anything in return. All of a sudden she felt shy again. She reached over and undid his belt and he groaned as she touched him lightly with her fingers and pulled her closer.
‘You don’t have to,’ he said, as if the words physically hurt him.
‘But I want to,’ Annie said quietly. She knelt over him and undid the buttons of his jeans, then they were off and he was lying naked beside her. Remembering from the night they had met, she touched him the way he liked it, teasing him, slowing down, sometimes stopping when she sensed he was near then starting again. Then when she knew he couldn’t take much more she used both her hands until he, holding her in a vicelike grip, gave in to his own climax.
Later they lay in each other’s arms. Annie laid her head on the smoothness of Raphael’s chest where she could hear the steady thump, thump of his heart. His hands stroked her hair, smoothing it away from her eyes.
‘Will you marry me, Annie?’ he said.
Annie sat bolt upright. She felt a zing of happiness course through her veins. He wanted to marry her. He must feel the same way she did. The connection they had felt that first night was still there; it hadn’t gone away.
‘Pardon?’ she said, wanting to make sure she had heard him right. ‘What did you say.’
He sat up, grinning at her. The light bounced off his bronzed skin. She had never thought him so sexy as she did right them. She knew she loved every inch of him. His thoughtfulness, his humour, even his old-fashioned masculinity, and he loved her! It was almost too much to take in. She had resigned herself to never finding someone who loved her the way she needed to be loved. Wholeheartedly, without reservation, and now, just when she had thought she couldn’t be happier…
‘We could live in Spain. You, me and the baby. Be a family,’ he said. ‘A real family.’
An icy shiver ran up Annie’s spine. She couldn’t help but notice that he hadn’t said he loved her.
‘Live in Spain
? But my job is here, my parents, my friends,’ she said quietly. If he loved her, surely he’d be prepared to be wherever she was?
‘You would be part of my family. My mother would welcome you like her own daughter. She will love you. I am sure of it.’
But still he hadn’t said he loved her.
‘And as for your job, you don’t need to work. I have plenty of money and besides a woman should be at home with her child, no?’He continued, seemingly oblivious to her silence, ‘Of course, then there will be no need to go to the lawyers for access.’
She was furious. She stood, picking up her discarded dressing gown and pulling it on over her shoulders.
‘So that is what this is about,’ she said through clenched teeth. ‘My God, Raphael, is there nothing you wouldn’t do to get your own way? Had you planned this all along? Did you really think that after you made love to me, I’d be so grateful that I would go along with your plans? Was this the only way left to get your child with you in Spain? And if the price you have to pay for that is marriage to a woman you don’t really love, then so be it.’
She picked up his jeans and T-shirt and flung them at him. ‘But what about what I want? Did that cross your mind? Please don’t imagine for one minute that I would enter into a loveless marriage, no matter how convenient.’
If she hadn’t been so angry she might have laughed at the bewilderment on Raphael’s face as he slipped on his T-shirt and jeans. But she was in no mood for laughing. How could she have let her guard down? She knew how much Raphael wanted this baby and she had completely underestimated the lengths he would go to to get what he wanted.
‘Let yourself out,’ she said. ‘I’m going to bed.’
CHAPTER ELEVEN
AFTER leaving Annie’s, Raphael decided to go for a walk on the beach. He was far too restless to go to sleep and he needed time to think. He always thought better when he was doing something. He had thought about following her into the bedroom and trying to explain, but something told him that Annie was in no mood to listen to him, let alone believe him. Dios, he thought ruefully, she is like a tiger when she is angry. He had never seen her other than quiet and calm, but he didn’t find the new side to Annie off-putting. He was delighted that there was still lots more to find out about her. And whatever she thought right now, he fully intended that they would have time to discover each other.
The night sky was shot with lilac. Until recently he had wondered if he had done the right thing coming here. He thought back to the day he had met Annie. He had been hurting then, and the pain he had seen reflected in her eyes had drawn him to her. It hadn’t just been her beauty, although with her pale skin and light green eyes and that luscious body, there was no denying he had been powerfully attracted to her. So attracted he hadn’t been able to stop himself taking her to bed, even though he had known in his soul that it was dangerous. And he had been right. But she had turned out to be dangerous in a way he couldn’t have possibly imagined.
When he’d found out she was pregnant he hadn’t been sure she was telling him the truth. After all, he had been deceived before. But the more he learned about her, the more he knew that she didn’t have a deceitful bone in her body. She was too transparent for a start. He wondered if she realised how every emotion showed on her face—he always knew what she was thinking. But the worst thing of all was he knew he was falling in love with her. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, he couldn’t stop himself remembering how she had felt in his arms. Her soft, silky skin, the smell of her perfume, the way the pulse beat at the base of her throat, the way her thick hair fell across his face when they were making love covering him in her scent. And it wasn’t just a physical attraction he felt any longer. If it had been he knew he would have been able to deal with that. It was her innate kindness, her laugh, the way she smiled, her mouth curving at the corners, and the way her eyes sparkled when she was happy.
He groaned aloud and, picking up a pebble, he threw it into the sea where it skipped over the waves. It was too late. He wasn’t falling in love with her. He already loved her. With a passion. All he had to do now was persuade her that he meant it.
After Raphael left, Annie made herself a cup of tea, still fuming. How could she have been so naïve? She rubbed her back. She’d had a dull ache all day and now it was getting worse. A flicker of fear shot through her as her abdomen cramped. Dear God, no! She couldn’t be going into labour. It was far too early. She was only twenty-eight weeks.
‘Okay,’ she told herself. ‘Keep calm.’ It could be Braxton-Hicks contractions, couldn’t it? Or a tummy bug. It was one thing being a trained midwife and being able to reassure her patients, but quite another being the patient herself. She looked at her watch. Ten o’clock. It was late, but Kate or Chloe would probably still be awake. She could phone one of them, just for reassurance. She could also phone Raphael, of course, but she quickly dismissed the thought. Right now he was the last person she wanted to speak to. She had told him she could cope perfectly well without him so she could hardly call him every time she felt a twinge.
Making up her mind, she phoned Kate. Happily she hadn’t gone to bed, but straight away Kate picked up on Annie’s anxiety.
‘What is it, Annie?’ she said. ‘Is something wrong?’
‘It’s probably nothing,’ Annie said. ‘But I’ve been having some lower back pain and some cramping. I’m probably being over-anxious, but I just wondered…’ As she said the words a sharp tight pain squeezed her abdomen and she gasped.
‘I’m coming,’ Kate said. ‘But first I’m going to call an ambulance. Only as a precaution. Just hold on, Annie, I’ll be there in ten minutes.’
Now Annie was seriously frightened. If Kate was calling for an ambulance, she must be worried too. But they had to be wrong. She couldn’t be going into labour. She just couldn’t. It was far too early. But Annie knew that it was entirely possible. The chances of premature labour had slightly increased after she’d had the miscarriage scare. Kate would know that, too. It was probably why she had called the ambulance. She sat down as another wave of pain washed through her body. She wrapped her arms around her body, almost as if by doing so she could keep her baby safe inside her. If she was going into labour she needed to get to hospital, perhaps there they could give her something to stop it. Every day the baby stayed safe in her womb was crucial at this point.
Unaware of how much time had passed since she had called Kate, she was relieved when she heard a knock on the door. Thank God, she thought. Kate had arrived. Maybe everything would still be okay.
Raphael had decided to go back and see Annie. Whatever she said, they needed to talk. He had to tell her how he felt.
But one look at her, curled up in the armchair, her eyes wild with terror, was enough to send his heart crashing against his ribs.
Before he could breathe he was by her side.
‘What is it, Annie?’ he said, taking in her pale face and pinched lips.
She moaned and clutched her stomach. ‘The baby,’ she gasped. ‘I think it’s coming.’
She reached out a hand and gripped his arm. ‘Make it stop, Raphael. It’s too early, please make it stop. I can’t lose my baby. You have to help me.’
Raphael forced his own fear away. He needed to be strong for Annie right now.
‘Tell me,’ he said gently.
‘I’ve been having backache all day, but it was different from before. I just thought I had strained a muscle doing yoga. But now I’ve started cramping.’ Her eyes shimmered with tears as she looked up at him. ‘I phoned Kate. She’s phoning for an ambulance and then she’s coming.’
Raphael’s heart contracted. She had gone to someone else—not him—when she had needed help. She must really hate him. But he couldn’t let himself think of that right now. All that mattered was making sure that Annie was all right. Even the baby…his heart twisted…wasn’t as important as Annie.
In the distance he could hear the wail of the ambulance and the door opened and Kate
burst in, carrying her medical bag.
‘Dr Castillo. I didn’t realise you were here. What’s going on?’
‘I haven’t had time to make an assessment,’ he said. ‘But I’m afraid it sounds as if Annie has gone into labour.’
Hearing his words, Annie moaned again and folded in on herself. Raphael had never seen such anguish before. But she mustn’t give up hope. Not yet.
He crouched down beside her and lifted her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes.
‘Listen to me, Annie,’ he said. ‘I am going to do everything we can to save our baby. You have to believe that. Okay?’ It took every bit of strength to keep his voice steady, but he couldn’t let Annie see how terrified he was.
Annie looked back at him, her eyes wide with pain and fear. But he saw resolve in her eyes. His Annie was stronger than she realised.
Kate passed him the Sonicaid from her bag so he could listen to the foetal heart. He felt almost weak with relief when he heard a steady beat.
‘Baby’s heartbeat is strong, Annie. We can do a better assessment when we get you to hospital.’ He could hear the wail of the ambulance getting closer. ‘Perhaps we’ll be able to give you steroids. There may still be a chance we can stop labour.’
He looked over at Kate.
‘Can you gather a couple of things, please? I will go with Annie in the ambulance.’
‘I’m coming, too,’ Kate said firmly. ‘Annie is my patient as well as my friend. As far as this baby is concerned, you are the father and not in the best position to make clearheaded judgements. Rob is over at mine, so Jem will be fine.’ She took Annie’s hand. ‘I’ll stay with you as long as you need me.’ Then she looked at Raphael. ‘As long as you both need me.’
Raphael took one look at the determined set of the senior midwife’s mouth. He was glad she would be around. Annie needed all the help she could get. She was all that mattered.
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