She had been living with the aftermath for nearly four years now. About three months longer than Luca had been living with his. Listening to him, she had heard his pain and anger and confusion, but also his love for his daughters, and she couldn’t imagine how difficult it had been for him to have to try and reconcile gaining his children at the cost of his wife’s life.
Hurting, for him and for herself, she slipped off the chair and knelt on the floor to begin gathering up the scattered leaflets, finding that her hands were still shaking in reaction. Distracted, she sat back on her heels, her fingers touching lips that still tingled from softest brush of his. Her eyes closed as she relived those few moments with Luca. She had been aroused by his subtle masculine scent and his gentle caresses, her whole body had been energised, her senses on high alert, and she had yearned for so much more.
Luca had said it wasn’t finished, but it had to be. She couldn’t allow anything else to happen, for many reasons. A sigh escaped as she tried to push her thoughts of Luca aside. Needing to return to her task if she was ever to finish up and escape for some time alone, Polly opened her eyes, smothering a gasp when she found herself looking at what had to be one of Luca’s daughters. The little girl’s dark brown eyes, so like her father’s, were filled with curiosity. Dressed in a pretty red-and-white spotted dress, she stood a couple of feet away, silent and watchful, her silky dark hair cut into a bob that didn’t quite reach her shoulders, her skin tone a shade or two lighter than Luca’s.
Fearing that her heart was going to rip right out of her chest, Polly sucked in a steadying breath, completely unprepared for this moment. ‘Hello. What’s your name?’ she finally managed, struggling not fall apart as pain washed through her.
‘I’m Rosie.’ The little girl stepped closer. ‘Are you Polly?’
‘Yes, that’s right.’ The realisation that Luca had spoken about her to his children added to her surprise and confusion.
Rosie’s impish smile tightened the band around Polly’s chest. ‘You’re Papà’s friend.’
‘We work together,’ Polly murmured, her voice sounding rough as she tried to contain the emotions she feared might emerge if confronted with Luca’s children.
Rosie tilted her head, an endearing little moue of consideration on her face. Despite herself, Polly couldn’t help but be amused and enchanted by this gorgeous child. It took considerable willpower to resist the instinct to invite Rosie into her arms for a hug. Experiencing a wave of desperation, unsure how long she could maintain her composure, Polly looked towards the door, hoping Luca would come and collect his little stray.
‘Toni hurt her hand and Papà is trying to mend it,’ Rosie told her.
‘I’m sure your sister will be fine.’ Polly swallowed as the little girl edged closer until she could feel her pressing gently against her arm. ‘Your Papà is a very good doctor.’
Rosie gave another sweet smile. ‘He makes people better. Do you do that, too, Polly?’
‘I try to.’
Apparently satisfied, Rosie nodded, leaning into her. ‘What are you doing?’
‘I dropped these leaflets on the floor and now I have to tidy them up. Do you want to help me?’ she asked.
‘OK.’
Rosie knelt down beside her and reached for one of the leaflets. Then another. Side by side they worked together in silence for a few moments and Polly would have laughed at the incongruity of it had she not been so on edge.
‘Rosie?’ Luca called from further down the corridor.
A lump lodged in Polly’s throat at the way girl’s face lit up in response to the sound of her father’s voice. ‘Rosie’s with me, Luca,’ she managed, steeling herself for the customary jolt that always rocked her when she saw him.
He arrived in seconds, looking heart-stoppingly sexy. ‘Sorry about that. Carol, the childminder, knew I was here and brought them along when Toni cut herself rather than try and dress it herself or wait for me to pick them up in half an hour or so.’
‘That was sensible of her. It must be a relief to have found someone reliable,’ Polly murmured, still feeling very unsure and discomfited.
‘It is. Nick put me in touch with her,’ he informed her. ‘She looks after some of his grandchildren and works closely with the nursery school, so it was ideal.’
For a moment Polly’s gaze lingered on his mouth, warmth stealing across her cheeks as she recalled their nearly-kiss, then she looked away, suffering another painful pang as she focused on the girl holding his hand.
Almost identical to Rosie in terms of facial features, Toni’s cheeks were slightly thinner, while her hair was an inch or so shorter. She was wearing jeans, trainers and a green sweatshirt with animal pawprints on it, and her free hand sported a neat bandage.
‘And how is Toni?’ Polly was moved to ask as Luca let go of the little girl’s hand and she skipped across to join her sister.
‘She’s fine…thankfully. The cut on the heel of her hand just needed cleaning and gluing.’ His caring, benevolent smile as he moved close to his daughters and reached out to ruffle Toni’s hair stripped another layer from Polly’s frozen heart. ‘This one is always up to mischief, aren’t you, trottola?’
As Toni grinned, unrepentant, Rosie tugged at his other hand, claiming his attention. ‘I’ve been helping Polly, Papà.’
‘So I see, topolino,’ he praised, gently tweaking the little girl’s nose and making her giggle.
Hearing his pet names for his children and seeing how wonderful he was with them only added to Polly’s pain. For a moment her gaze clashed with his, and the speculative gleam in his dark eyes made her acutely uncomfortable. She had no idea what he was thinking, just as he could have no idea what she was feeling. And she hoped to keep it that way. She didn’t want Luca to know.
‘You’ve been a great help, Rosie.’ Rising shakily to her feet, Polly took the leaflets the girl held out to her. ‘Thank you.’
Adding the papers to her own, she crossed the room and filed them away with much less care than usual, driven only by a desperate need to be alone to lick her wounds.
All week she had worked hard to keep Luca at a distance, and not to talk about, see pictures of or meet his children. She had sensed at once that he was dangerous to her but she had failed miserably at protecting her fragile heart. Now, what she had feared all along had happened. She was drawn to Rosie and Toni with as much need and yearning as she was to their father, but it was an impossible dream.
With unsteady fingers she fumbled with the key as she unlocked the desk drawer and took out her bag. Turning round, she saw the smiles on two adorable little faces, and then the puzzlement, concern and contemplation in Luca’s eyes. There, right before her, was everything she had wanted but would never now have. A good man. Lovely children. Fixing an over-bright smile on her face, she edged towards the door.
‘I’ll leave you to lock up if that’s OK,’ she murmured, unable to meet Luca’s gaze again.
Disappointed protests came from both girls, surprising her and bringing the threat of tears.
‘Do you have to go?’ Luca queried.
Backing up as he took a couple of steps towards her, Polly nodded, hoping her desperation didn’t show in her voice. ‘Yes.’
As she turned once more for the door, a tug on her skirt detained her and she looked down, finding Rosie beaming up at her. Confused, she hesitated, then Rosie beckoned for her to bend down. Polly did so, only for the little girl to shock her once again.
‘Bye, Polly,’ she whispered, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
Polly felt the burn of emotion at the back of her throat. ‘Bye.’ It was the only word she could manage and even then it sounded strangled.
She took a last look back at the special little family who had so swiftly and devastatingly breached her defences, then she fled. It hurt so much to remember, to think, to wonder how like Luca’s two beautiful little girls her own daughter might have been. She would be the exact age of Rosie and Toni now…had she li
ved.
CHAPTER FIVE
‘THE girls—especially Rosie—seem very taken with Polly. Who is she?’ Jane Watson asked.
Sitting opposite his mother-in-law, and subjected to her direct green gaze, Luca felt himself blushing like a school-boy, the mention of Polly’s name sparking off an array of conflicting reactions. ‘She’s one of the doctors in Penhally.’
‘And you like her?’
‘I like all my new colleagues,’ he responded, hoping the basic truth of his answer would mask his deeper confusion about Polly.
Jane chuckled. ‘Luca!’
‘I don’t know. No. Yes.’ Luca sighed, dragging a hand through his hair in exasperation. ‘Look, I’ve only known her a week.’
‘You and Elaine were certain of your feelings within hours of meeting,’ Jane pointed out with maddening calm.
‘This is a completely different situation. And Polly is nothing like Elaine,’ he added, concerned how his in-laws might feel at the idea of another woman attracting his attention.
‘And that’s a good thing.’ Leaning forward, Jane laid a hand on his arm and smiled. ‘It shows you’re ready and this might be real.’
Luca frowned. ‘How do you mean?’
‘Because you’re not looking for someone like Elaine, trying to conjure up a substitute,’ she explained.
‘I’m not looking for anyone,’ Luca insisted, troubled about the situation with Polly. ‘There was only one Elaine.’
‘I know, my love.’ Jane’s smile was tinged with sadness, and Luca followed her gaze as she looked at the photograph of Elaine on the mantelpiece.
Elaine and Polly were different in every way. He didn’t want a replacement. He hadn’t thought he wanted anyone, but a week with Polly and he was being forced to rethink everything. Not that he felt he knew her much better than on the day they had met, and he had yet to figure out her puzzling behaviour the previous afternoon.
‘Brian and I hoped this would happen long ago,’ Jane said, shocking him. ‘You’re a very attractive man, Luca, and an exceptionally good one. You have to start thinking about your needs.’
He hadn’t had any needs. Not for a very long time. The only thing he had cared about was the twins, ensuring they grew up feeling secure and loved.
‘Elaine wouldn’t have wanted you to be alone, Luca. You have our blessing. And you aren’t betraying Elaine, or letting anyone down.’ She took his hand, green eyes moist with unshed tears, her words making him choke up with emotion. ‘We know how much you loved Elaine. Nothing is going to take that away.’
Luca thought about Elaine’s obsessive need for a baby, of her persistence, her furtiveness and odd behaviour when she became pregnant. ‘I should have done something, should have seen.’
‘Elaine should never have deceived you, Luca. You know how strong-willed she was. Even as a child, when she set her mind to something, there was no reasoning with her, no diverting her from the course she had set herself on.’
‘I know, but…’ He broke off, shaking his head, finding it difficult to set aside the guilt—and flicker of hurt, angry betrayal—that had weighed him down for so long.
Jane’s fingers tightened on his. ‘Luca, it is not your fault. No one blames you. No one. It’s long past time you stopped blaming yourself and moved on with your life, not only for your sake but the girls’ too. They need their father to be happy. And there will come a time in their lives when, no matter how marvellous you are, they’ll need a woman’s understanding.’
Maybe Jane was right, but he was confused, uncertain. Polly was so different from anyone he had ever known or been attracted to before. How did he know it was real? It wasn’t as if Polly’s life was uncomplicated. With each day that went by, and with each new scrap of information he unearthed about her, the more mysterious she became. And she seemed to have more baggage from her past than he did. He shook his head thinking of her rushed exit from the surgery yesterday and of Rosie’s words after Polly had gone.
‘What is it?’ Jane asked, a quizzical smile on her face.
‘I was just thinking of Rosie and how frighteningly perceptive she is—and she isn’t four yet.’
Jane chuckled. ‘Rosie has Elaine’s intelligence, sensitivity and intuition, while Toni has her mother’s energy, and her love of sport and adventure.’
‘And for getting into trouble,’ Luca pointed out, and they enjoyed a moment of shared laughter, thinking of the scrapes Toni had landed herself in. He didn’t want to imagine what might lie ahead as she grew older. As for her sister…‘Rosie asked me why Polly is so sad inside. How can she see that at her age?’
‘And is she right?’ Jane queried.
‘Yes.’ That was one thing he did know. ‘But I don’t yet know why.’
Jane looked interested. ‘Is she a local girl?’
‘She is. Or was,’ he amended.
‘How do you mean?’
‘She grew up in Penhally but left thirteen years ago,’ he explained, drawing on the bits of information he had managed to glean. ‘Her godmother and good friend persuaded her to take the GP job. Polly came back in July but I don’t think she is finding the return to Penhally easy.’
Jane nodded. ‘I suppose it depends why she left. If she has bad memories. What’s her surname?’
‘Carrick. At least, that’s the name she’s using now. It was her mother’s maiden name. She died when Polly was young,’ he confided, remembering the conversation he had overheard between Polly and Kate in the car.
‘Carrick? Carrick…’ Jane’s eyes widened. ‘Goodness, I wonder if it could be.’
Luca frowned. ‘Could be what?’
‘Do you know her father’s name? Her mother’s married name?’
‘Reg Searle, I think,’ Luca replied.
‘Well!’ Releasing his hand, Jane sat back in her chair and let out a rush of breath.
‘Jane?’
She pressed her palms to her cheeks, a far-away look in her eyes for a moment. ‘Yvonne Carrick. I used to teach her at school. I remember the gossip when Yvonne became involved with Reg Searle. We moved to St Piran because of Brian’s job, and I gave up work to have Elaine, but I remember Yvonne died when her own child was very young.’ She paused a moment and frowned. ‘I have a hazy recollection that Penhally’s formidable headmistress, Gertrude Stanbury, was concerned about the girl. That would be your Polly.’
His Polly… A riot of conflicting emotions churned inside him. What Jane had told him had been interesting, but there was little that helped him work out anything about Polly’s life now. Whatever had happened in Polly’s past had been sufficiently serious and important that it had had an impact on her present…and, unless he did something to stop it, it threatened her future, too. He had no idea what to do or how he could make a difference, he only knew he had to try.
All of which made a mockery of his resolution not to get involved with Polly and confirmed how far she had burrowed under his skin and into his heart in just one week. And all with no intent on her part. He knew Polly was as reluctant as he was to acknowledge the attraction between them and was fighting equally hard to stop it happening. He could tell her it was too late. The battle was over…he’d lost. And yet, instead of defeat, what he felt was a mix of trepidation, puzzlement, fear and a spine-tingling excitement.
His talk with Jane had given him a lot to think about, Luca admitted, but there was no time for more now as Brian arrived back at the small, ground-floor flat, having taken the twins to feed the fish in the pond in the centre of the communal garden belonging to the sheltered-housing complex. Brian, his thinning hair now almost white, leaned heavily on his walking stick, and he was breathing heavily when he sank into his armchair.
Luca glanced at his watch, surprised at the time. They had to get moving. After rounding up the twins and making sure they had everything, they said their goodbyes.
‘Think on what I said, my love,’ Jane whispered as she hugged him.
‘I will. Thank you.’
Further delays ensued when Rosie discovered she had mislaid her favourite cuddly toy, and it was several moments before Pooh Bear was back in her arms.
‘Come on, bambine,’ Luca encouraged, hustling them out to the car. ‘Or we’ll be late for the beach picnic.’
‘Papà, will Polly be there?’ Rosie asked once they were on their way back along the coast.
The query took him by surprise. ‘I don’t know, topolino.’
‘I hope so,’ Rosie countered.
Never liking to be left out, Toni added her agreement. ‘I want to see Polly, too.’
From the time they had been babies, the girls had proved to be remarkable judges of people, clear about who they liked and who they didn’t, and he’d never known them to be wrong. But even he was surprised at the speed with which they had taken to Polly.
If Polly had been invited, would she go? One of the things he had learned during the week was how she generally kept to herself. The thought of seeing her brought excitement, doubt, arousal and confusion, and there was no denying that his heart rate had kicked up or that the blood was flowing hot through his veins.
A few minutes more and he was parking off road near the quiet cove Oliver had directed him to. He helped the girls change into their beach things, everything taking twice as long because they were bouncing with excitement and impatience. When they had everything, Luca changed his own things, welcoming the kiss of the September sun on his skin, then he picked up the cooler and locked the car.
There was no sign of Polly’s little Renault and the sting of disappointment was acute. Of course, she might have come with some of the others, he reasoned. And the unanswered question about whether she was there or not had him quickening his pace as he led the girls down the steps carved into the rocks to the safe, sandy beach below.
‘The forecast for Sunday is wonderful, so we’re going to get together to relax and have fun,’ Lauren had explained in the staffroom on Friday.
‘You can swim or play ball,’ Chloe had continued. ‘Or you can read, have a nap, or just sit and talk and eat. Please come, Polly. We’ll stop by on Sunday morning and pick you up.’
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