Hold Your Breath 03 - My Captain, My Earl

by K. J. Jackson

  She met him, her lips delicate as she explored his touch, his mouth. He nudged her lips apart, surprised she followed his lead so completely, submitting to him. Submitting to what he was going to do to her.

  She was captain on the ship. But here in this moment, she had willingly fallen under his control. He explored her mouth, plunging in, licking her teeth, her lips. Damn, she tasted good, the guava she had been eating earlier still sweet in her mouth.

  Her hands went up, surrounding his neck, fingernails digging into the muscles on his shoulders. Without his guidance, her legs came up in the water, instinct sending them around his waist.

  Straining against the cloth of his trousers, Jason shifted himself as she tightened her legs around him. Hell—so perfect. He was already nestled in the crux of her, her hips circling, matching the movement of his mouth on hers.

  He pulled back, tugging her hair to expose her neck to his lips, his tongue. Her skin wet and slick, he moved up and down her neck, holding himself gentle, holding himself back from the ravaging he truly wanted to do.

  His hands went down to her hips, setting her movements in an even wider circle until he could take no more.

  Bringing his arms up, he wrapped her body as he started to walk to the shore. Stopping at the edge of the water, her legs still wrapped tightly about him, Jason went to his knees and laid her on the scrub of sand.

  On top of her, he kissed her thoroughly before he untwined her legs and pulled up straight, ripping at the rope tied around his waist. His trousers dropped, but he didn’t give it a thought for he was too engrossed in gazing at Katalin’s nude body.

  Her arms tanned from the sun, her skin eased into flawless creamy whiteness. Her breasts, solid, bigger than his hands, but not by too much. Both her arms and legs were lined with lean muscle, setting ridges that he had only seen on men into her skin. Beautiful in the power they held.

  He shook his head, exhaling as his eyes ran up and down her body. “God, Katalin, you are gorgeous. Gorgeous everywhere. Your body. Your mind. Your heart.”

  She smiled, wicked as she looked up at him. “You are fascinating to look at as well, Jason.” Her eyes flickered down to his crotch. The smile went wider.

  Balanced on his knees, he nudged her legs apart as he move forward through the shallow water. His fingers entwined into her honey-red hair. “You do want this? Truly?”

  “Truly.” There wasn’t a glimmer of doubt in her eyes as she looked at him. “I trust you, Jason. I want you—I want you taking care of me.”

  Growling, he bent over her, attacking her neck as his hand teased and tempted her body, moving downward, landing at her core. He sent two fingers into her folds, plying, awakening.

  Her hips answered him before her low groan, thrusting upward at his touch, her body arching, begging him to continue the assault.

  “Blimey, Jase—that—blimey—”

  “Touch, me Kat. Hands on me.” He hovered over her eyes, voice commanding as he watched the pleasure wash over her face. He was more than ready for her, but he needed her to touch him, to feel him straining, pulsating—to know exactly how much he wanted her.

  Her hand was tentative as it moved from his waist, along the line of muscle on his belly, to the line of hair. Eyes wide, her fingers flipped, skimming along his skin, along his throbbing ridges. Gentle. Too gentle.

  “Tight, Kat. Full.”

  She smiled, looking suddenly aware that she had just as much power over his pleasure, as he did on hers. Her hand slid fully around him, clamping as she ran her palm, her fingers, up and down.

  “Hell, yes.” The guttural mutter barely came out as Jason buried his face in her neck.

  His tongue slipped out, tasting her skin once more as he moved along her jaw, landing on her mouth. She was pitching against him now, his fingers working her nubbin hard, then soft. Rhythmic.

  She started to gasp against his mouth, arching away from him, hands moving to claw at his backside, and Jason took the moment. With a swift thrust, he slid into her, pushing through the thin membrane.

  Her body cringed around him at the intrusion, gasping, and Jason slid partway out, allowing enough room for his fingers to invade her folds again, proving the pleasure could outweigh the pain.

  “Jason—this—this—”

  “Just let me do this, Kat. Just let it come.”

  She went silent, desperate, clawing at his back, writhing against him as she demanded her body reach what it thirsted for.

  He slid deep into her again, thrusting against her pitching body as he nudged her folds into submission, into freeing the eruption they held fast to.

  Screaming—swearing—Katalin jerked up from the water, both pushing and pulling Jason as her body went into spasms.

  With shallow breath, Jason continued his onslaught, her body tightening around him in waves of contractions, gripping him tight, giving him no quarter. Water flew, and he could not slow himself.

  He wanted to wait, to enjoy it, but he was no match for her screams, for her wet body tight to his, and he came, cursing the fates as the explosion commanded every muscle in his body.

  Cursing the fates because he knew it for certain, in that instant, down to his soul.

  He would give up anything to be with this woman.

  Anything.

  { Chapter 6 }

  Her head snug on Jason’s chest, Katalin watched the last rays of the day’s sun dance along the tree-tops, rubbery green leaves rustling in the wind. The sky had already turned into a deep purple, giving way to the approaching grey of darkness.

  Happiness. Such an odd emotion, she almost didn’t recognize it. She was happy. Light.

  She had never given much thought to the emotion—her life was what it was and she wasn’t unhappy. She knew how to laugh, smile, but she had never, until this moment, realized what happiness truly could be.

  A day ago she had been in the deepest despair, and now, now she was, of all things, happy.

  Jason had done that, given her that, and she was loath to return to a world before it. So she had insisted they move out of the water and onto the small sandy patch near the edge of the pool, but no farther. She wanted to lie there, putting off for as long as possible going down the mountainside to join the others.

  She knew the majority of the crew would already be passed out, and if they truly needed her, they would send someone up to get her.

  Jason’s fingers threaded through her hair, twisting and untwisting the locks. Listening to the steady thud of his heart in his chest, Katalin’s lungs tightened. She hadn’t wanted this, hadn’t expected it, yet by the grace of the fates, this man fell into her life, and wanted her. Wanted her for her—not to captain a ship, not to be the dutiful daughter—wanted her because he liked her voice, liked what she did, liked who she was. A friend.

  A friend that had become so much more.

  “I am sorry, Kat.”

  “For what?”

  “I did not wish to turn you into a fallen woman.”

  Katalin laughed, popping her head up so she could see his face. “Oh, you are serious.”

  “Yes. I behaved in an atrocious manner, seducing you. I was the furthest thing from honorable.”

  Katalin settled her cheek back on his chest, her fingers sliding low along the muscles lining his stomach. “Are you sure you were the one seducing, Jase?”

  “What? You cannot mean…”

  She smirked into his chest at the shock in his voice. “I did not intend for this to happen—far from it. But the second you appeared from the jungle—let us just say I did not mind your presence one bit. I knew full well what could happen, and I did nothing to veer the course of things.”

  “But you were an innocent and I ruined you.”

  Katalin chuckled. “An innocent? Ruined me? Hardly, Jase. What you did was far from ruining me. You forget that we come from very different worlds. I am the captain of a ship—do you truly think I, or anyone around me, save for my father, cares if I am ruined?”

/>   “I care.”

  “You are the only one, Jase. The only one. I wanted—no—I needed every second of what you just did to me after the last fortnight.” She tapped his chest. “Every second. I needed to not be a captain, just for a little spell. So you can let your honor rest for a moment.”

  “I do not think it can, but for your sake, Kat, I will try.”

  She hid her smile, keeping her mouth closed, and turned her head to kiss his chest.

  “What truly is the color of your hair?” His voice, low, vibrating under her cheek, interrupted the quiet after a few minutes. “It was darker when it was wet, but now that it is dry—now I see it is complete randomness between honey and red-blond.”

  “It is odd. But has there been anything about me that you have not found odd?”

  His hand slipped down her back, fingers finding her nude bottom and cupping it. The touch instantly sent shivers along her thighs into her core.

  “I did not find your reaction to me when I was deep inside you at all odd. That was exactly as it should have been, Kat. You arching, begging, screaming. Perfectly correct in every way.”

  Katalin jabbed her fingers into his ribs, tickling. She was rewarded with a slight squirm from him.

  “I am glad there was at least one thing you have not questioned about me.”

  “I only question because I want to understand,” Jason said. “To know you. You are only odd to me because I have never experienced one such as you. And I find odd irresistible.”

  “You do realize I find you just as odd, Jase? You must remember I have been surrounded by sailors my whole life. They are all I have ever known, and they live with their own peculiarities.”

  “Then it is a good thing fate blew the winds the way it did. I do believe my life would have never been complete, had I not met you.”

  She retightened her hold on his torso. “My hair is darker right now because I have been at sea for several months and keep it covered. Usually it is lighter, almost all honey blond, because it is under the sun.” She picked up a tendril draped on Jason’s chest, looking at it. “But right now the red is showing itself.”

  “Whatever color it is, it is unique. Unique and beautiful, just like you.”

  She didn’t lift her head from his chest, but did tilt her face so she could see him. “I am afraid I do not know what to say when you tell me such things, Jase. I have never had a friend, much less a man…”

  “Telling you that you are beautiful?”

  She nodded.

  He smiled. “You do not need to say anything, Kat. Accept the compliment and thank your mother and father they produced the loveliness in you.”

  “My father told me once I look very much like my mother. There is very little in me that looks like him. He is a brute of a man.”

  “Well, then, he had the good sense not to pass any of his looks on to you. You are the furthest thing from a brute.”

  “Thank you for that, I think.”

  The sun rays disappeared completely, and she went silent. Jason followed, his hand still working through her hair, untangling snarls as he went.

  Long, calm minutes passed as stars appeared above them.

  His fingers working her hair stopped, cupping the back of her head before his low words slipped into the thick night air. “Heaven help me, Kat, I know you wanted no attachments. But I will be honest when I tell you I am damn well attached to you. Even if you want—demand—it to not be so. I do not know how you can ask me to not be attached to you.”

  Katalin shifted up, propping herself on her elbows so she could see his face. Even in the moonlight, she recognized the hurt, the bruised pride in his eyes.

  “This is about what I said in my cabin?”

  He nodded.

  “What I said, what I did, Jase…those days adrift with no hope.” She shook her head at the memory. “It is why I demanded no attachments. I did not do it to hurt you. If the winds had not caught sail…”

  “What? What if they had not caught sail?”

  She swallowed hard. “I have heard many tales of near end from starvation on ships. It is not kind. By all accounts it is a horrible, awful affair. The worst in humanity surfaces—let your imagination run. As captain, I would have taken the brunt of it.”

  Her palm went on his chest, fingers wide. “I needed you to not be attached to me. Chomper was attached to me, and you saw how that ended. That was about so much more than the hunger of the crew. That was about me as captain. Me sacrificing for the crew. And my fate was to be sealed with the fortune of the winds—yours was not. I could not take the chance of your survival, if there was to be a chance. After all you have been through, you are too close to returning to your beloved home. I could not take that from you. I could not put you in the jeopardy that was mine.”

  Jason sat up, moving Katalin with him, and then settled her in a straddle on his lap. His hands rested on her shoulders, fingers settling on her neck as he captured her eyes. “Do you not realize that—for some gut reason I cannot even define—I want so desperately to protect you that it hurts—physically hurts—in my chest when I cannot? That I cannot hold you, shelter you from all of the pressure the ship, the crew puts upon you.”

  “I am not a lady in need of protection, Jase.”

  “You are.” His hands moved up to her face. “You are to me, and I will be damned if I am forced to deny that. Forced to deny what you mean to me. Forced to watch you burdened, even if that is what you choose.”

  She stiffened. “I choose no burdens I cannot handle, Jason.”

  “It is not a matter of whether or not you can handle the pressure, Kat. Of course you can. I have seen that with my very eyes. It is a matter of me not wanting to see you scared, or sad, or frustrated, or in danger. It is a matter of me wanting to see you safe. Happy. Smiling. Secure.”

  Her heart caught in her throat. No one had ever wanted to ease her burdens, ease her responsibilities. Not even her father.

  It was foreign, and she couldn’t stop the rush of emotion that manifested at Jason’s words. She had never even acknowledged the pressures put upon her, much less thought of easing them, of sharing the burden.

  Her chest tightened. What he wanted of her and what she was obligated to do were very different things. “I am still captain, Jase. I cannot remove myself from that responsibility. Not now. You have to understand that.”

  “I do. You are captain. But not here. Not in this moment. Here in front of me you are just Katalin. Just the woman that I would move heaven and earth for.”

  Her head swung back and forth, flummoxed. “I do not know how you did it, Jase, but you have made me want things I never dreamed existed. I was content in what my life was. But you have made me think about other possibilities of life.”

  “Is that bad?”

  “It is terrifying.”

  “No. Do not be terrified. Not now.” He moved forward, lips on hers as he spoke, the grizzled hairs on his chin rubbing her skin. “Right now, be happy. Feel everything I want for you. Feel how I want you.”

  He slid a hand down to the small of her back, pressing her hips tight to him. She could feel him pulsating and hard once more.

  “You can save terrified for tomorrow, Kat. We can both save thinking for tomorrow. For the last two years I have been living in one moment, never knowing if I would make it to the next. I wasted too much energy worrying, and it never changed the next moment. Never. Never saved me from pain. Never saved me from humiliation. Life came as it saw fit, and I was just lucky to survive it.”

  He pulled back from her slightly, finding her eyes. “It is why these hours with you, these minutes, are the most precious. It is why I just want to hold you, be with you in this moment, Kat. No worrying on the morrow. Just be with me in this moment.”

  She opened her mouth to him, and in all honesty, her soul to his words. To his need to just be. Leaning forward, her lips met his, and everything slipped from her mind with ease. Her responsibilities. Her worries.

&
nbsp; ~~~

  Worry reappeared early the next morning.

  Even though Jason had bristled at the deception, he agreed with Katalin that anything between them had to be kept secret from the crew. That he had been willing to proudly announce them to the world had warmed Katalin’s heart, but she had no idea how the crew would react to the lowest sailor on the ship sleeping with the captain.

  She guessed it would not be good.

  Especially because of their loyalty to her father. They would all protect her, life and limb, and if they saw Jason as the slightest threat to her, he would pay dearly.

  By the time the crew gathered the fresh water, guavas, papayas, and a few boars, and transported it all back to the ship, dark clouds had already surrounded them. They set sail, hoping to make north of the storm, but another bank of clouds converged, trapping them in the middle of a wicked squall.

  Late evening appeared before the roll of the ocean went smooth.

  Except to bark orders his way, Katalin had to ignore Jason all day. That is, when she wasn’t holding a petrified breath as her eyes flew across the ship, searching for his sopping form after every wave that crashed the deck.

  Those moments, she refused to ignore him. Those moments made it all too real.

  He meant too damn much to her.

  But now she had him right where she needed him most, lying naked, belly down on her bed. He had slipped into her cabin unseen, exhausted, beaten by the ocean. But that had not deterred him from stripping off her clothes the moment the cabin door locked.

  Katalin allowed herself this one change in habit—she almost always left the cabin door ajar, even while sleeping. But after the harshness of the day, she figured none of the crew would question her need for solitude and sleep.

  Not that she had slept yet. Jason made sure of that. He had also made sure to silence—either with his hand or mouth—her screams. He didn’t want himself to be found naked in her cabin any more than she did.

  He swallowed the small soft rectangle of her bed, so rather than wedge herself in between him and the wall of the cabin, Katalin draped herself over his back. Her chin only coming up to Jason’s shoulder blades, she took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of his skin. Still salty from the waves crashing the deck.