But he couldn’t stop his eyes from drifting back to the dance floor. Blast it. Could Katalin truly fall for a man like that? He seemed to meet her requirements—a title, a cache of power, a willingness to save her from harm.
“My apologies, Jason.” Aggie was looking up at him, watching him with slightly narrowed eyes. He recognized the look. She was trying to figure something out about him. “I did not mean to threaten you so. It was all I could think to do in the moment. The cut on Miss Dewitt needed immediate interference and you were most handy.”
“All ended well.” Jason lifted his empty glass to the dance floor.
His sister’s face turned even more calculating. “Why did I have to threaten you? It was just a simple dance. A simple step-in to save her reputation. Even as a drunkard, I have not known you to lose your spirit of generosity.”
Jason didn’t like where Aggie’s thoughts were taking her.
“So why not? Why not save Miss Dewitt? Do you not care for her for some reason? Past your odd meeting, I did not think you talked to her but a sentence or two at Curplan.”
“I did not like being threatened, Aggie.”
She stared at him for a long moment, her eyes still shrewd. “No. It was not that.” She shook her head. “I do wonder on your refusal, though. You did not want to dance with Miss Dewitt. Her specifically. Is there something between you two that I do not know of?”
“No. Your imagination runs away with you, Aggie. One, you did not need a drunkard like me tripping his way to Miss Dewitt. Two, I simply did not wish to be bothered at the moment. My refusal had nothing to do with Miss Dewitt. You may drop the matter.”
“Very well.” His sister looked to the open swath of dancers where the duke was accompanying Katalin off the dance floor. “As they are already chatting like old friends, I have new things to worry about.”
“Such as?”
“Mitigating all of the jealous eyes shooting daggers in the direction of Miss Dewitt right now. The duke is quite the catch, and there are too many young chits and mamas plotting against her at this very moment.”
Jason scanned the crush. Aggie was spot-on about the jealous eyes and tongues flying.
“God speed, Aggie,” he said dryly.
She slipped away from him, bright smile on her face, ready to do battle.
~~~
After encountering the Duke of Letson at three separate affairs in the last week alone, Katalin had begun to harbor the smallest hope that her mother’s plan would work.
She found the duke incredibly nice, handsome, and witty. Everything in a suitor she had hoped for. Given his title, and that he was secure with his own fortune, he was also everything that her mother had hoped for.
The duke liked her, or at least found her interesting. That, Katalin could easily discern, even with the limited conversations that were afforded to them on the dance floors and in the presence of her mother, Aggie or Reanna.
So on the fourth evening her new friends had managed to position her in front of the duke, Katalin was relieved to see it was a smaller, more informal gathering. Hopefully, it would allow more than casual conversation with the duke.
She was anxious to delve deeper into his personality. After all, if she had managed to manifest an incredibly poised veneer at the larger parties and dinners, she imagined he was very capable of doing the same.
After dining, the duke crossed her path and offered to accompany her to the outside veranda for a breath of fresh air.
Stepping into the cool dampness, Katalin snapped her fan closed, taking a deep breath of non-stifling fall air. The roof overhang above the veranda saved them from the slight mist coming down.
After a quick glance over her shoulder, she looked up at the duke. “You will forgive me, your grace, but I must stay within sight of Lady Pentworth. She is a stickler of propriety, and she is not about to fail in her duty as my chaperone.”
“Of course, Miss Dewitt,” the duke said. “I would not dream of compromising your reputation.”
“Thank you.” Katalin walked to the wrought iron railing, gloved fingers resting on the cool metal. The slight wetness on the rail soaked through the silk to her skin. A small garden below, edged with neat boxwoods, drew her attention and she couldn’t help the pang of homesickness that struck her—she missed the wilds of the island vegetation. Even in the gardens on her father’s estate, things grew rampant, untamable no matter how much attention the gardener put forth. It was always best to let things flow, rather than control. Nothing like the gardens here in England. Precise. Crisp. Beautiful. Untouchable.
The duke stepped next to her, and Katalin could feel his eyes solidly on her.
“I must admit, Miss Dewitt, this is a pleasant change from the normal.”
Katalin looked up at him, arching her eyebrows in question.
“I am more accustomed to mamas conveniently ‘encouraging’ their daughters into improper situations with me.”
“If you cannot catch a duke one way, any old devious way will do?”
“Yes. Too spot on, I am afraid.” His hand went on the railing next to hers as his eyes went down to the crisp hedges.
“You do not care for the ladies of the ton—or their mamas, your grace?”
He shrugged. “I have experienced a few, and they do not suit me well.”
“Why not?”
He looked at her, his astute dark eyes studying her. “The young ones have fanciful notions of love. The older ones are desperate.”
Katalin laughed. “Make no mistake, your grace, I am desperate.”
For a second he looked appalled, and Katalin bit her tongue. The tongue that her mother was convinced was going to sink Katalin.
But then the duke chuckled. “That is honesty I am unaccustomed to, Miss Dewitt.”
She gave a hesitant smile. “And I am unaccustomed to absolutely everything about this world. I do apologize. I tend to say the most dreadfully wrong things. As you have already witnessed—and saved me from.”
“What did you say to Lord Vutton that first night?”
Katalin shook her head. “No. I repeated it to Lady Southfork, and she made me swear to never speak those words in polite society again.”
His eyebrow cocked, slight smile on his face. He was waiting for an answer.
Katalin found it entirely interesting that he was not going to ask. Just wait. He truly did expect that he would get an answer. That must be the natural arrogance of a duke. Arrogance that would come in handy were pirate hunters to someday show up at her door.
And then he surprised her. He asked. “Your integrity is admirable, Miss Dewitt, but I already think ill of Lord Vutton. Why do you think I was so quick to save you that night?”
“Ah, so it had nothing to do with me?” For some reason, that fact alone pleased Katalin, although she wasn’t sure why. “You have a slight vengeful streak, do you not, your grace?”
“Possibly. And I am still curious as to what you said to him and would like to know, but I do understand your tight lips.”
Katalin met his gaze, squirming against what her own intuition told her to say. So very opposite the words her mother would have her speak. She hid a sigh. The duke may as well know the magnitude of missteps she was capable of.
“I must first report that my comment was merely a reaction to a noxious question he asked. He inquired as to how far below my lace my nipples were.” She braced herself as the word “nipple” left her mouth. This conversation was spinning into complete vulgarity. “I may be new to this society, but even I recognized the sheer audacity of it.”
He nodded, his manner unfazed. “Defense stated. Vutton’s words do not surprise. And you replied?”
She cringed before the words even left her mouth. “I asked him if he took a wicked deep lick of a horse’s ass before he arrived, as his foul tongue was exacerbating his foul breath.”
The duke laughed—loud—not bothering to hide the sound, not bothering to hide from the attention it gathered. “Wel
l done, Miss Dewitt. Whoever brought you up should be inordinately pleased with his or her self.”
“My father. And yes, I imagine that had he heard what I said, he would be proud, but possibly a bit disappointed I held myself somewhat in check.”
“I will be curious to meet your father.”
Katalin smiled, unsure what to say to that. Was this all it took? A few conversations? A few lively laughs and she would be married off to a man for the rest of her life? A man she barely knew.
A lump forced its way into her throat. A man that was not Jason.
Her eyes slid down to the railing. Dammit. Damn that Jason continued to burst into her head at the worst possible times. She had seen glimpses of him here and there at the soirees over the past weeks. Usually with a drink in his hand. Usually teetering. But he never approached her. Never smiled. Never even inclined his head in her direction.
And each and every time, it felt like he was leaving her under the willow tree again. Disposing of her from his life. Tearing out her heart. Damn him.
Her hand came up, the wet glove covering her mouth as she coughed, trying to clear the lump.
“If I may say, Miss Dewitt, I have watched you for days now, and at this moment, that particular look on your face is striking. Do not take offense, for it does not mar your beauty, but you have the look of a person that has lost someone dear. Someone you do not wish to replace in your heart.”
She couldn’t look up at him. She had been too obvious. Not in control of her emotions. Her mother would be horrified.
Honesty was her only ally now. “Yes. You read me correctly, your grace. I apparently do not hide it well.”
The wind shifted, blowing drizzle in at them. Katalin dropped her other hand from the railing, turning fully to him, meeting his dark eyes. “But I do wonder at your observation, your grace. You seem to recognize what is happening in my heart too easily. Like you know the feeling well yourself.”
“I suppose I do, Miss Dewitt.”
Sadness touched her voice. “We are of like mind in this regard, are we not?”
He nodded, slowly, looking like he was accepting a truth he was troubled to acknowledge.
Katalin shook her head, curious. “Why do I suddenly like you even more than I did a moment ago?”
{ Chapter 17 }
She could feel the seam splitting. First, one thread popped, then another. And she was sitting through the most excruciating dinner she had ever experienced.
A small affair at the Duke of Dunway’s home, Katalin was in awe of Aggie’s abilities as hostess. Flawlessness that had somehow positioned Katalin into a seat directly between the Duke of Letson and Jason. Aggie knew nothing of Katalin’s past with Jason, so the seating arrangement only made sense.
For hours, Katalin had not only had to keep up bright conversation with the duke—as Aggie had concocted the whole affair solely for the purpose of putting her and the duke in more private, close proximity—she also had to ignore the copious amounts of wine Jason downed next to her.
Three, four, five, six—Katalin counted the threads popping loose down the side of her ribcage. How many stitches could she lose before her breasts spilled out of the tight top of her burgundy gown? Her left upper arm clamped down even tighter to her body, pressing the fabric as hard as she could to her ribs.
She just needed to make it to the end of dinner without showing nipples. That was all. She took another shallow breath, afraid to actually fill her lungs.
As awkward as it was to finish the meal with one free hand, Katalin succeeded, and then positioned her palm casually on her chest, holding the fabric tight to her breasts as she stood. The second the ladies were free of the males and in the drawing room, Katalin shot to Aggie’s ear, leaning in with a whisper. “Aggie, might you assist me? It appears I am in need of a needle and thread.”
Aggie looked down at Katalin’s well-positioned arm at her side and the hand still over her chest. “I thought you were looking a touch more full on the top tonight.” She gave a sympathetic smile. “The seam split, I presume?”
Without waiting for an answer, Aggie put her arm behind Katalin’s waist, steering her out of the room.
Katalin groaned as they stepped into the hallway. “It is all this food during the past few weeks. I have never in my life eaten so much. My mother would be mortified that I just busted this seam.”
“Let us be grateful she took the night off.” Aggie pointed to Katalin’s breasts. “And that you managed to hold them in during dinner. That would have been most awkward. The extra fullness does seem to land in your bosom. But do not fret; you will get better at the dinners. It is a skill to eat just enough to satisfy the host, yet to not gorge yourself.”
After delivering Katalin to her chambers, Aggie left Katalin with her maid and a needle and thread. Within fifteen minutes, Aggie’s maid had the seam secured and, breasts back in place, Katalin made her way down the stairs to the drawing room.
Turning right at the bottom of the staircase, Katalin started down the dark hallway and bumped smack into a chest that appeared in front of her.
Jason.
Her hand at her chest covered her slight gasp. “You scared me.”
“You have never been scared in your life, Katalin.”
She looked up at him, eyebrow arched, as the alcohol permeating him filtered into her nose. “Never?”
“Save that once. It is not in your nature.” He grabbed her shoulders, steering her backward into the dark nook at the curvature of the staircase. “You do not get scared, Kat. You survive. That is what you excel at.”
His hands were hot on her bare skin, squeezing. She gripped his forearms through his dark jacket, yanking them off of her. “Jason, I told you, time and again. I thought I was saving you. I cannot continue to apologize for it. I have to stand by what my choice was. A choice to save you.” She stared at his glassy eyes, not buckling under his glare. She was tired of having the worst mistake she ever made thrown in her face. Tired and mad.
She had gone through the excruciating pain of his death. The pain of knowing she sent him to that death.
But he had lived, and then never came for her. He had been alive, and he never came for her.
Anger pricking the hairs on the back of her head, she didn’t think she could stand to be near his drunk self another instant. She stepped around him, moving down the hall.
“And you are busy surviving right now, as well.” His words were drawn out, poking, taunting.
Katalin spun. “What is that to mean?”
Jason kept his back to her, allowing only a slight look over his shoulder in her direction. “The duke. Your plan to capture a title. You would survive quite nicely with him, would you not?”
“What the hell do you want me to do, Jason? Hang? Lose my head?” Voice hissing, she stepped closer, almost touching his back. “Would that be enough penance for you? My head on a stake? Would that prove my love?”
She saw his eyes close, but he did not turn to her.
“It is not going to happen, Jase. There are more important things than you, and I pray that you will let me do what I need to without this constant interference. Just leave me alone, Jason. Leave me alone. Do not show up at balls—dinners—parties—and drink and stare at me. I saw you at every one of those blasted affairs. It does you no good and does nothing but further shatter my already shattered heart. Do not find me under trees, in hallways. Do not talk to me. You do not want me, so let me go.”
He did not open his eyes.
Even though she knew it was a mistake, she reached out and touched his arm. Instant fire in her hand. Her breath caught hard in her chest and it took a moment to continue, her voice raw. “You will always own my heart, Jase, but I cannot lay waste to your hatred of me. I cannot let it consume me. I cannot die because of it. Let me go, Jase.”
His head tilted down, but his eyes remained closed to her.
Her hand heavy, it dropped from his arm, and she turned, her slippers soft on the
wood floor as she moved down the hallway, wiping fresh tears from her cheeks.
~~~
“I do not hate you, Katalin.” Jason whispered it, even though he knew she was gone, knew she couldn’t hear him.
“What?”
His eyes snapped open. His sister stood in front of him, speculation on her face.
“What did you hear, Aggie?”
“Only the last few words you spoke.” She gripped his elbow, pulling him from the hallway into the empty front drawing room. “Jason, I do not understand what is between you and Katalin. While I thought you were nothing but a casual acquaintance to her, I am beginning to suspect that is not the case. Am I wrong?”
Jason refused to answer her, his chin jutting stubbornly out.
She waved her hand. “You may not answer, but your closed mouth tells volumes, brother. I may not understand whatever it is between the two of you, but I do know one thing.”
“Which is?”
“You are running out of time.”
“Time for what?”
“The duke is set to propose to Katalin. And from what I have found out about him, he is not one to wait once a decision is made.”
Jason bit his tongue, thrusting the tip of it clearly into his cheek.
Aggie’s eyes narrowed at him. “Hmmm. Fine. I think I just told you what you needed to know. I will not ask questions. Not yet.”
“Give my regards to your husband, Aggie. My night is over.” With a slight bow, Jason stepped past his sister and down the hall, ensuring Aggie stayed true to her restraint with questions.
~~~
“You look gorgeous, Katalin.” Aggie leaned forward, smiling as she pulled the mask over Katalin’s eyes slightly away to peek at her face. “That is you in there, is it not? You do not know how many people I have already mistaken here tonight. This is more extravagance than I am accustomed to in the little season.”
Aggie turned from her to survey the large ballroom. Moving in line with her friend, Katalin adjusted the mask that covered the upper portion of her face, from mid-nose to forehead, so she could see clearly again. It was then she realized the wide feathers of her and Aggie’s masks had tangled. Laughing, she took a step away as she attempted to delicately untangle the wily feathers.
Hold Your Breath 03 - My Captain, My Earl Page 16