by KL Donn
Reed
I’m just pulling out of the mall when my phone rings. Seeing Luca’s name flash on the screen, I answer immediately.
“Hey, I’m just leaving lunch with your sister.”
“She’s been in an accident.” My heart has never ceased to beat before.
“Where?” I pull into traffic, heading the way she would have to get home, and as Luca talks, not sure where she is, I see it. “Fuck,” I hiss. I have to park three blocks away because firetrucks have cordoned off the intersection. “I’ll call you back once I know anything,” I tell him amidst his cursing.
Running to the scene, I flash my badge to the firemen, and they let me through, all the while texting Colby to get his ass down here.
“What the fuck happened?” I bark at the fire captain, directing his men.
“From witness reports, the car plowed right into the SUV where she was stopped for a red light. We're waiting on the patrolmen to get here to do a breathalyzer because the vehicle smells like alcohol.” His words only fuel my anger.
Reaching the drunk driver who's being supervised by a fireman, I command, “Stand up. Hands behind your back.” The man wobbles as he does what I say. Cuffing him, I order, “Sit. Don’t move.” He falls to the ground. “Officers will be here soon; he doesn’t go anywhere. Speaks to no one.”
“Got it,” the fireman says, and I rush to Hope’s car, where they’ve pulled her out and now have her strapped to a stretcher, encouraging her to open her eyes.
“Pretty girl,” I murmur, gripping her hand. “Come on, open those beautiful eyes for me.” I watch with bated breath as she struggles to get her body to cooperate. “There’s my pretty girl.” Her eyes are glassy and unfocused. Pain radiates off of her.
After getting her settled and in the back of the ambulance, I take a deep breath and turn to look at the scene laid out behind me.
Glass fragments and bent and broken aluminum pieces everywhere; parts are scattered around the vehicles. And the more I stare, the angrier I become.
“Reed!” I see Colby over by the driver who hit Hope, and I know if I go over there, after just seeing her, I won’t be able to contain my rage, so I tighten my fists. He nods and leaves the man with the two officers as they conduct their intoxication testing.
“How is she?” he asks.
“I have no fucking clue. Likely a concussion for sure. Nothing looked broken, but fuck.”
“Get going, I’ll deal with this. We’ll get Hope's statement later.” I nod and start the short jog back to my truck.
Hitting the sirens, I call Luca back. “How is she?” he rushes out.
“Alert but groggy. She’s on her way to the hospital now; I’m following." I watch the ambulance from three cars behind as we both weave through traffic.
“What the fuck happened?” Luca hisses, his own worry turning into anger.
“Fucking suspected drunk driver.”
“Jesus Christ! I’ll see you there. I’m about an hour away still.” He sounds pissed about that.
“See you soon.” Hanging up, I park my truck in the visitor’s lot of the hospital, and by the time I get into the emergency department, she’s already been taken back to be examined.
“Sir, you can’t go back there.” A nurse stops me.
“I’m here with Hope Carson. I’m her boyfriend,” I tell the woman, but she won’t budge.
“They need a few minutes to examine her and get her set up to the fetal monitor.” My entire body freezes at her last two words.
“Fetal monitor?” I’m not sure they have the right person now.
“Yes. Miss Carson’s very concerned about the baby. We need to get her calmed down, and the best way is to let her hear your baby’s heartbeat.”
“Hope’s…pregnant?” How the fuck did I not know this?
The nurse looks worried now, obviously realizing I had no idea. “Err, yes. It won’t be long until you can see them. Have a seat over here.” She guides me to some waiting chairs, and I’m left to process the bombshell dropped in my lap.
Pregnant.
A baby.
She’s having another man’s baby.
Who the fuck is he?
Where the fuck is he?
Why in the hell is he not in their lives?
Fuck.
She can’t belong to someone else. She is supposed to be mine. She has to be mine. I don’t think I can let her go. Not after this morning.
“Reed?” My head pops up at Luca’s voice as he rushes over. “What happened? Is Hope okay?” How much time has passed? I must look a mess.
“She's fine. I think. I’ve been sitting here, waiting…she’s pregnant.” I don’t finish my thought before those two words pop out again.
Luca looks guilty as he sits next to me; his friend—I still don’t know his fucking name—goes over to one of the coffee machines and drops some coins in.
“She is,” Luca confirms.
“You knew?”
“I did.”
“Fuck.” My hands dangle between my legs as I stare at the floor. “She’s supposed to be fucking mine.” I can’t get over that. I don’t want to let her go. “Where the fuck is this asshole? Why haven’t you called him? Why isn’t he fucking here?” I snap my questions out rapidly, my anger growing again.
“It’s not like that, Reed. You really need to talk to Hope about this.” I’m getting sick of him not answering my questions.
“You’ve been saying this since the day we fucking met, and yet, here I am, still waiting for fucking answers.”
“Reed Burkhart?” A nurse comes out with a chart in her hand.
“That’s me.” I stand and rush to her.
She gives a kind smile. “Miss Carson is ready to see you. The baby is fine, strong heartbeat, moving around like a champ. Miss Carson is bruised and banged up, no concussion, miraculously. She’ll be here overnight for observation but will likely go home tomorrow.” The woman explains all this as she walks me to Hope’s room.
I hesitate to enter because I don’t know where the fuck I fall in her life anymore.
Hope
My head feels like it’s been run through the spin cycle of a washer a few times, but from the minute I hear her little heartbeat, everything in me settles down. My chest loosens, my body relaxes, my heart beats just a little bit easier. And the pounding in my head ceases thumping through my veins.
I’m still tired. I’m still in agony. And I’m still emotional from everything that’s happened, but we’re okay, so I know everything else will fall into place.
Until the nurse informs me as she’s walking out of the room that she’s going to get Reed. Closing my eyes, I ball the blanket in my fists, slowly squeezing out my stress. When I hear the door open and close softly, a tear leaks from my eye.
“Pretty girl.” His voice. I can hear the change in it, but I don’t know what it is. “Look at me, Hope, please.” I shake my head. “Hope.” His voice becomes sterner.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper as the baby’s heartbeat echoes around the room, making her presence well-known.
“Why isn’t that bastard here?” My eyes fly open at his question.
“Who?”
Reed’s gaze darts to the monitor. “The father.”
I stare at him, stunned. This wasn’t how I wanted him to find out, how I envisioned myself explaining my choices to him. Sucking in a sharp breath, I scoot up the bed a little and pat the spot beside me. “Sit, please?”
I want to reach for his hand, but I get the feeling maybe that’s not what he wants right now. “I was going to explain everything to you tonight.”
“Okay.” The expression on his face indicates all the questions he must have.
“I had these friends, Leslie and Miles. They made me feel…normal. Like my brain wasn’t defective. They encouraged me out of my shell for years. They did for me what nobody else could.”
He does grab my hand this time, and I hold him so tightly, not wanting to let go. “I�
�m glad you had that.”
“Me too. I would have done anything for them. All they ever had to do was ask, and I would have said yes.”
“Okay.” I can tell he wants to ask more questions.
“A year and a half ago, Leslie was told she likely couldn’t have children. She had a low egg count, and the doctors said it could be years, if ever, before she conceived. But suggested a surrogate.” His eyebrows shoot up, and I see some of the stress on his face lessen. “They were my best friends. The only friends I ever had.”
“So, his baby and your baby…?”
“Their baby, Reed.” I match his smile.
“That’s an incredibly selfless thing of you to do.” When his hand reaches up and caresses my cheek, I lean into him, desperately needing the contact.
“It was. Until a month ago when they were killed in an accident. We’d just found out not long before that the first insemination worked. They were so excited.” I can’t and don’t try to stop the tears this time.
“Now, it’s your baby,” he says, and I can’t read what he’s thinking, feeling.
“A little girl,” I respond.
“Christ,” he utters under his breath.
“I know…I know this changes things. Changes us.” I shake my head when he goes to speak. “I’d really like it, though, if maybe, down the road, we could be friends. When you can forgive me for lying to you.”
“Time to go! Mommy and baby need their rest. You can come back tomorrow morning. Visiting hours start at eight.” The nurse pushes Reed out before he can respond to my request, and I’m left in turmoil, with that damn broken heart again, all night long. Making sleep impossible.
8
Reed
For most men, another guy’s baby would be a deal-breaker. They’d be angry and lashing out, saying stupid shit they don’t mean. Hurting their woman.
Thank fuck, my parents raised Theo and me better than that.
When I should have been sleeping, getting ready to pick Hope up from the hospital this morning, I was busy rearranging her living room to be more functional for her needs over the next few days. She’s in pain and should have everything on one floor. I’ve turned half of her sofa into a bed for her, making sure there’s a table nearby to put her things on. I brought over my recliner because that beast is the comfiest piece of furniture I’ve ever sat in.
And I won’t be going anywhere either. I’ve taken the next two days off so I can be around to help her more. I also hit the supermarket as soon as it opened this morning to stock up on a few things she might like to eat or I can make for her. I might have also grabbed two boxes of diapers.
Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. Maybe she isn’t looking to have me in her life in the same way I still want her in mine. But I know I won’t give up without a fight. I want her as my girl, my wife, the mother of my children. And that means claiming the child she carries now.
A little girl.
Hope is having a baby girl. Even though the infant isn’t biologically hers, I know she’s going to have her momma’s compassionate soul.
Noticing the time on the dashboard, I hop out of my truck and quickly make my way inside just as visiting hours begin at the hospital. I’ll be by Hope’s side for as long as she’ll allow me to.
Stopping in the flower shop first, I grab a bouquet of pink daisies and a small pink teddy bear. Arriving on her floor, I quietly enter Hope’s room to see her curled on her side, the bruises from her accident yesterday more pronounced now. But what kills me inside is the noticeable tear stains on her cheek.
She’s been crying and doing so for a while.
Placing the flowers on the small table and the bear in the chair, I climb on the bed behind her. Spooning my body to hers, I slip one arm under her head and the other across her hips. Pulling her as close to me as I can get her, I kiss the back of her head.
“Whatever’s got you so torn up, I’m here, Hope,” I reassure. Her body relaxes slightly, and I like to think it’s because she registers that I’m with her.
Grazing my free hand along her side, I stop when I reach her belly bump. It’s still small, and with the baggy sweaters she always wears, I’m not surprised I never noticed. Gently curving my hand around the precious cargo, I close my eyes and savor the intimate moment when I feel a slight movement. Nothing significant but enough to let me know she’s growing a little life inside of her.
Not long passes before I feel her breathing change and her body tense up as she feels me. “Sshh, pretty girl, it’s just me.” I try to calm her.
“You’re here.” Her words are filled with surprise.
Scooting back, I roll her onto her back before speaking again. “Did you think I wasn’t coming back?” Her hesitation makes me frown. “You thought the baby was going to make me run?” She nods this time.
Blowing out a deep breath, I’m not sure how to explain my train of thought on this. “Kids don’t scare me, Hope. The idea that there is another man out there, one that you might love, that fucking terrifies me. Because the only man I want you to love is me.”
“You do?” She breathes the question.
“Yeah, pretty girl, I do. I’m selfish and possessive, and would I rather it was my baby in your belly? Maybe. In the future. But her, little peanut here, she deserves everything you plan to give her and so much more. You both have suffered a tremendous loss, and if you’ll have me, I plan to love you both until my dying breath.”
Hope’s eyes water. “Don’t do that. Don’t cry. I can’t handle it when you cry.”
“I’m sorry.” She wipes at the tears in her eyes.
“Don’t be sorry. Just say you believe me and let me work on making you fall in love with me.”
“I believe you, Reed.” A grin takes over my face, and soon, she fashions one too, and I think it’s the first genuine smile I’ve seen from her.
Hope
“Don’t move,” Reed barks as he jumps out of his truck and rushes around to my side to help me out. From the moment I woke up this morning, Reed has been tender and loving. Attentive to the range of my possible feelings.
We’re both treading unchartered waters here, and I don’t want either of us to be walking on eggshells around one another.
As he opens my door, I lift a hand for him to stop. “Reed, please, don’t feel obligated to take care of me like this. I might be a bit fragile right now, but I’m not incapable.”
“Pretty girl. I’d never think of you like that. This is just me wanting to take care of you. We’ve had nothing but ups and downs since the day you moved in, and I want this to be how we begin our relationship together.” His honesty is refreshing. While it might not be something he’s used to showering on a partner all the time, I’m humbled that he gives it so freely to me.
“Thank you, Reed.”
“For what?” he questions after closing the truck door and placing a hand on my back as we walk to my front door.
Struggling to find the right words and emote what I’m feeling is difficult. “For accepting me the way you have. For not getting angry and walking away.”
Standing on my porch, facing each other, Reed cups my jaw and leans down. Our lips brush in a tender kiss. Not meant to incite driving lust but intended to reinforce our growing feelings.
His arms wrap around my back, and before we can deepen the kiss, I’m reminded of the pain from the accident.
“Shit. Sorry. Let’s get you inside and relaxing, so you can feel better quicker.” Unlocking the door, he closes it behind us, and when I gaze around the room, I’m stunned.
“You moved things around,” I whisper. The couch is by the window like I wanted, facing towards the rest of the main floor. As my belly grows, this will make things easier to move around, instead of darting around furniture.
“It’s more functional this way. Those idiot friends of your brother's shouldn’t have just dumped shit and left.” He shakes his head, and the glower he’s wearing shows his frustration.
Now that I’m not hiding who I am from Reed anymore, and he understands my flaws, I find reading him is marginally easier. Like now, with his brows drawn inwards, I can tell that’s his annoyance or frustration. And I noticed in the hospital, when he smiled at me before I was discharged, that his eyes crinkle in the corners with his happiness or amusement.
Reed is open to me in a way that even Luca isn’t. My brother remains a mystery to me in some ways, and when I first met Reed, he was too. Now I comprehend just a little more.
“I didn’t want to be a bother,” I tell him as he helps me into a recliner that I know isn’t mine. “Where did this come from?” I stare up at him as he places a blanket across my lap.
He shrugs. “My place. You needed the best.”
Melting back into the cushions, my exhaustion and pain takeover, making my eyes heavy.
“Sleep,” Reed whispers, and I feel him place a kiss on my temple where I hit my head in the car. Reclining the chair, I listen as Reed moves around my house, putting away the things from the bag he brought me this morning and cleaning up what little mess I left in the kitchen yesterday.
Soon, I’m off to sleep then startled awake by a bad dream I can’t remember. Jumping in the chair ignites every bump and bruise, like they’re on fire. As I’m doubled over in pain, I can hear Reed talking, but I don’t understand the words he’s saying.
“Sshhh, Hope, I’ve got you.” Picking me up in his arms, he carries me over to the sofa, sitting down and stretching out on the chaise where I noticed earlier that he had set up like a bed. He settles me beside him. “Here.” He hands me a bottle of water and a pain pill. “You were due for one of these soon, anyways,” he says as I swallow the tablet.
“Everything hurts,” I groan.
“Nice and easy breaths.” His words are soothing as my body slackens.