by Joan Jonker
‘I didn’t say you had to. Look, Brenda, you do as you wish. Yer old enough to know what yer doing. Just don’t come running to me if you get yer fingers burned.’ They joined the line of people in the chip shop. ‘Just one last word, though, Bren. I’ve had enough of Alec Gleeson to last me a lifetime. I don’t ever want to hear his name again.’
Geoff was waiting when Sadie got to Everton Valley and she thought how smart he looked in his grey flannel trousers and white short-sleeved summer shirt. And his smile of welcome was so genuine it cheered her heart. He seemed a nice-enough bloke, but if he turned out the same as Alec she’d take to her heels and run.
‘Have yer thought about where yer’d like to go?’ Geoff’s teeth gleamed in his brown, weatherbeaten face. ‘It’s a bit hot for the pictures, don’t yer think?’
‘Yeah, it is hot.’ Sadie tilted her head. ‘You’re nice and brown – I didn’t notice it at the dance. Have yer been on yer holidays?’
‘I should be so lucky! No, I work in the building trade and I’m out in all weathers. I’m an apprentice bricky and I’ve only got eighteen more months to go before I’m out of me time.’
Sadie was facing the sun and she put an open hand to her forehead to shade her eyes from the strong rays. ‘That makes yer nineteen, doesn’t it?’
‘Nineteen years and seven months, to be precise. And I can’t wait to be twenty-one and in the money.’ Geoff looked at his wrist-watch. ‘What would you like to do?’
‘I’ll leave it to you.’ Sadie’s knowledge of where young people went to enjoy themselves was nil. First-house pictures once a week had been her only enjoyment for two years, apart from the one trip on the ferry and two nights at a fourpenny hop. ‘You decide.’
‘We could nip into Liverpool on the tram and get the train to Southport – how does that appeal to yer?’
‘That would be lovely. I’ve never been to Southport.’
‘It’ll be nice there in this weather.’ Geoff cupped her elbow and led her towards the tram stop. ‘We can have a walk around the lake and stop somewhere for a drink.’
‘I can’t go in a pub, Geoff, I’m only sixteen.’
‘We’ll have a cup of tea, then, or an ice cream. There’s plenty to do and see there so we’ll be spoilt for choice.’
The tram ride wasn’t a novelty to Sadie, although she didn’t use the trams much because she never had any money for the fare. But she’d never been on a train before and she was like a child looking out of the carriage window at the sights. It was mostly factories they passed on one side, and streets of terraced houses on the other. But the further away from the city they travelled, the factories disappeared and the houses became more grand.
‘Ooh, look at those houses, aren’t they lovely?’ Sadie breathed. ‘I’ve never seen anything like them in all me life. And look at the gardens and trees. The people living in them must be very posh.’
Geoff was fascinated by her. He’d travelled this route many times, seen everything before. So he concentrated on the changing expressions on Sadie’s face. She wasn’t like any other girl he’d taken out before. Apart from a pale lipstick, she wore no make-up at all. But then with her natural beauty she had no need of it. And she was making no effort to impress him. There were no coy smiles, no patting of the blonde hair that owed its colour to nature and not a bottle of bleach, and no crossing of the shapely legs. He’d been immediately attracted to her at the dance where she’d stood out from all the other girls. Now her attitude of complete indifference to him made her all the more attractive to him. ‘Is it all right if I talk, Sadie?’
She turned from the window, her eyes and face glowing with pleasure. ‘I’m sorry, Geoff, but this is all new to me and I want to get a picture of it in me mind so I can go over it all again when I’m lying in bed tonight.’
Geoff smiled. ‘I’d like to have something to think about when I’m lying in bed tonight, too. But unless you talk to me, I won’t have anything. I’ll think I’ve been out on me own.’
Sadie giggled. ‘Yer’ve seen the back of me head, what more d’yer want?’
‘The back of you is very pretty, Sadie, but not as pretty as the front. So talk to me. Tell me how yer got on with yer “not really” boyfriend?’
Sadie didn’t want to talk about Alec. She’d get over what he did to her on Saturday night, but she’d never forget it – nor would she ever forgive him. But she couldn’t let it spoil her enjoyment, nor Geoff’s. ‘He’s not even “not really” now. We had a bust-up on Saturday on the way home and I don’t want nothing more to do with him.’
‘I’m glad, ’cos he’s not good enough for yer.’ The train was pulling into Southport Station and Geoff reached for her hand. ‘Come on, let’s paint the town red.’
Sadie’s eyes were everywhere as they strolled along Lord Street with its beautiful shops and arcades. She stopped outside an elegant shop to look at a dress that had caught her eye, and nearly fainted when she saw the fifteen-guinea price tag. ‘Oh, my God! That’s a year’s wages!’
Geoff roared with laughter. ‘Yer’ve got to be wealthy to shop in Lord Street, Sadie. It’s not for the likes of you and me.’
Sadie was flabbergasted. ‘No matter how much money I had, I’d never pay that amount for a dress.’ She looked down at the sixpenny one she was wearing and had to stop herself from blurting out how much it had cost. ‘I’ll make do with TJ’s or Blacklers.’
Geoff bought them an ice cream from a ‘stop me and buy one’ man, and they licked them as they wandered down to the pier. Sadie’s enthusiasm and delight in everything was so infectious it rubbed off on Geoff. He’d been to Southport dozens of times, but with Sadie by his side he was seeing things he’d never noticed before. Like the waves gushing around the pier supports and throwing up a white foam. Or the swans on the lake. He’d seen the swans before, but had never noticed how graceful they were until Sadie pointed it out. ‘Aren’t they beautiful?’ she said softly. ‘So calm and … and … I think the word is dignified.’
They were leaning over the railing around the lake when the sun began to set and Sadie thought she’d never forget the sight. The sky was a blaze of colour, from red to gold, and the reflections on the rippling waters of the sea and lake were breathtaking. ‘Yer couldn’t describe it, could yer, Geoff? No one would believe yer unless they saw it for themselves.’ In an impulsive gesture she laid a hand on his arm. ‘Thank you for bringing me.’
‘Thank you for coming with me, Sadie, and showing me Southport as I’ve never seen it before.’ Geoff thought of the one thing he’d always wanted to do but never got the chance because his various girlfriends didn’t want to get their feet wet or their shoes dirty. ‘The tide’s goin’ out now – d’yer feel like having a paddle?’
‘Oh, I’d love to!’ Sadie clapped her hands in glee. ‘I’ve never had a paddle in me life.’
‘Stop pulling me leg,’ Geoff said. ‘Everyone had a paddle when they were kids.’
‘I didn’t.’
Geoff could see she was serious so he didn’t want to upset her by asking questions. Some other time, when she knew him a bit better, then perhaps he could find out more about her. ‘Come on, let’s splash in the water together. I’ll have to roll me trouser legs up and you’ll have to lift yer skirt or yer’ll get drenched.’
They were holding hands as they made their way to the railway station and Sadie looked sideways at him. ‘I’ll have plenty to think about in bed tonight, Geoff.’
‘I hope yer thoughts will all be pleasant ones?’
‘Oh, yes, they’ll be brilliant. If I go over everything, it’ll be three o’clock in the morning before I get to sleep. And when I do drop off, I hope I have a lovely dream about that sunset.’
‘My dream will be about something lovely.’ Geoff showed their tickets to get onto the platform. ‘But it won’t be the sunset. It’ll be about a girl with bright blonde hair, eyes bluer than the sea or the sky, and a smile that would warm the coldest heart.’
‘Oh, you, don’t be makin’ me blush!’
‘I don’t want to embarrass yer, Sadie, but I just want yer to tell me that yer’ll see me again, then I’ll sleep a happy man.’
‘Ooh, I wouldn’t want to be the cause of yer not sleepin’, Geoff.’ There was laughter in Sadie’s voice. ‘We can’t have that so I’d better say I’ll see yer again, hadn’t I? Would yer like to make an appointment now?’
‘Tomorrow night,’ Geoff said quickly. ‘And every other night.’
Sadie pulled a face. ‘I can’t make it tomorrow, Geoff, I’m sorry.’
‘Have yer got a date with someone else?’
‘No, it’s nothing like that. I’ve promised to go somewhere.’ Wednesday night was Harry’s free kiss night and Sadie wouldn’t let him down. He was the only man she trusted. Never once had he tried to do more than kiss her and she respected him for that. ‘Either Friday or Saturday would be the best nights.’
‘Friday then, if that’s the earliest yer can make it.’
‘Look, I’m goin’ to be honest with yer, Geoff. I had to walk to Everton Valley tonight from Toxteth, and it’s a long walk.’ She put her hand up when she saw he was about to speak. ‘I did it because I had no money for tram fare. I don’t get much pocket money and it’s usually all gone by Monday. Then I’m skint until I get paid on Saturday.’
‘Sadie, I’ll pay yer tram fare. Good God, it’s only coppers.’
‘This is my night for being honest, so yer might as well get the lot.’ Sadie’s mind was divided into two camps. One voice was telling her he was too nice to use, like she used Alec, the other telling her to stick to her resolve because the alternative was years of misery at home. ‘I let Alec pay me tram fare last week and what he expected in return was too high a price to pay.’
‘I’ll kill him,’ Geoff hissed through gritted teeth. ‘I know what he is, he’s noted for it, but I didn’t think he’d try it on with you.’
‘He didn’t get what he wanted, Geoff, so don’t worry. In fact, he got something he didn’t want, which must have caused him a lot of pain, apart from denting his pride. I’m only telling yer this because yer offered to pay me fare, like he did, and I don’t intend goin’ through any capers like that again.’ Sadie couldn’t resist a grin. ‘Many more like Alec an’ I’ll be breaking me flippin’ leg!’
Geoff’s face creased in puzzlement. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘I’m not going to draw yer a picture, Geoff. I’ll just say that when I left him in the shop doorway that he’d dragged me into, he was doubled up in pain and howling like a baby.’
A slow smile spread across Geoff’s face. ‘Yer didn’t!’
‘Oh, but I ruddywell did! So do yer still want to pay me tram fare?’
‘I’m not Alec, Sadie, so don’t insult me. And why do yer need fare? I can pick yer up from home.’
‘No, yer can’t. I never take any friends home because me mam and dad are funny with people and I get embarrassed. So I’ll meet yer at the Valley on Friday night, as long as I don’t have to walk there.’
‘If I had a pumpkin and a magic wand, Sadie, I’d turn the pumpkin into a coach and horses and yer could ride in style.’
Sadie’s laughter rang out. ‘Go on, yer daft nit! Next thing yer’ll be having me in a ballgown, and how well I’d look walkin’ down our street in a flippin’ ballgown!’
They were still laughing when they arrived back at Everton Valley. Geoff waited at the tram stop with her and when he saw a tram trundling towards them he slipped a silver sixpence in her hand and kissed her cheek. ‘Good night, Sadie, and thank you for a lovely night.’
‘It’s me what should be thankin’ you, Geoff. I’ve really enjoyed meself.’
As she stepped onto the platform of the tram, Geoff said, ‘I’m looking forward to Friday. It can’t come quick enough.’
Sadie smiled and waved before taking her seat. If only everything in her life was as pleasant as the last few hours had been, she’d be the happiest girl in Liverpool.
The next day, as Sadie and Brenda left the factory at dinner-time, Alec was once again leaning against the wall with Bobby beside him. Sadie looked straight ahead and didn’t even turn her head when she heard him call, ‘Brenda, can I have a word with yer?’
Brenda stopped in her tracks. ‘I’ll catch yer up, Sadie.’
Sadie closed her eyes but carried on walking. Why couldn’t the stupid girl see he was going to use her to get back at Sadie? Still, if that was what Brenda wanted, then good luck to her. But when her workmate caught up with her, all smiles and bright-eyed, and said Alec had asked her to go out with him that night, Sadie tried to warn her. ‘He’s no good, Brenda, believe me. He’s out for all he can get and you won’t stand an earthly with him.’
‘That’s your opinion.’ Brenda tossed her head. ‘I think he’s nice and I’m goin’ to the pictures with him.’
‘Is he callin’ for yer, so yer mam can see him?’
Brenda coloured. ‘Not tonight. He said he’ll call for me next time and meet me mam.’
‘Well, who are yer going to tell yer family yer going out with?’ When Sadie saw her friend lower her eyes, she gasped. ‘Don’t you dare tell them yer going out with me! I don’t want them comin’ to me if you get yerself into trouble. I’ve warned yer about Alec but yer won’t listen, so leave me out of it altogether.’
‘Blimey! I’m only going to the pictures with him, for heaven’s sake! What harm is there in that?’
Sadie sighed, thinking, She hasn’t the faintest idea what I’m trying to get through to her. She’s so innocent it’s like leading a lamb to the slaughter. Still, I’ve done me best, I can’t do any more.
As Sadie was walking to the park to meet Harry, she was in a thoughtful mood. Why was it that whenever she was happy, something came along to spoil it for her? She’d been in a happy frame of mind this morning when she went to work, still full of the lovely time she’d had with Geoff in Southport. Now she felt down in the dumps worrying about Brenda. The girl wasn’t her responsibility, but still Sadie couldn’t get her out of her mind. Shielded from the world by doting parents, Brenda didn’t understand how wicked some men could be. It was to be hoped she didn’t find out the hard way.
Harry smiled as he walked towards her, happy as always to see her. Then he noted the look of dejection and asked, ‘Why so glum?’
‘I’ve just been askin’ meself what I ever did to deserve the horrible things that happen to me. I never do no one any harm, but I must be jinxed.’
‘Is it yer family again?’
Sadie was silent for a while as she stared down at the grass they were standing on. Then she met his eyes. ‘My family are to blame for everything bad that happens to me. If I had a happy home life, things would be so different. But yer don’t know what it’s like, Harry, to walk into that house every night to be met by the smell of dirt, and listen to your mam and dad coming out with filthy language. And yer don’t know what it’s like to see yer brothers and sisters dressed in rags, their tummies rumbling with hunger, and yer can’t do a thing about it.’
Harry could see tears glistening in her eyes and he put his arms around her. ‘You’ll get out of there one day, Sadie, and yer’ll make a good life for yerself.’
‘Oh, I’ll get out of there, Harry, that’s a dead cert! And the day can’t come quick enough for me.’ Sadie sniffed up. ‘I’m sixteen years of age and I’ve never once had a friend come to my home because I’m too ashamed. In fact, apart from Brenda in work, I’ve never had a friend!’
Harry squeezed her shoulder. ‘I’m your friend, Sadie.’ But even as he spoke he was remembering his mother, not an hour ago, calling the Wilson family every name she could lay her tongue to. She said the whole street was complaining about the smell that was coming from the house, and the state of the children. So while he was sincere in his feelings for Sadie, he knew he was helpless to do anything about it. ‘I’ll always be here if yer need help, yer know that.’
‘No one can help me, Harry, except meself. I can’t go on the way I am, afraid to get too close to anyone because I know that as soon as they see the way I live they’d be off like a shot.’ The sigh came from deep within Sadie. ‘I went out with a nice bloke last night – a decent, respectable bloke. I’m seeing him again on Friday, but when he asked if he could call for me I had to make an excuse. How long can I go on making excuses? That’s what my family have done for me, Harry. And it’s their fault we’re standing here now, hiding in the bushes so no one will see yer with me.’
‘Oh, Sadie love, what can I say?’ Harry pressed her head to his chest, unable to deny that what she said was true. His anger against her parents mounted. They were to blame. He was afraid of being seen with her and it was no good pretending otherwise. And it was all down to her parents. They should never have had children because it was the children who were suffering from their lack of care, love, pride and the responsibility that went with having a family.
Sadie moved away from him and pulled a face. ‘Poor Harry, always getting me troubles and me moans. I’m surprised yer keep coming back for more.’
‘You need someone to talk to, Sadie, because if yer keep it all bottled up yer’ll make yerself ill. And what are friends for anyway if yer can’t bend their ear now and again?’
‘Now and again?’ Sadie managed a smile. ‘You get it every time I see yer! But that’s because yer the only one I don’t have to lie or pretend to. You know exactly what my circumstances are. No one else does.’
‘You can’t help your circumstances, Sadie, and people should like you for what you are as a person.’ Harry put a finger under her chin and lifted her face. ‘I think yer as pretty as a picture and one of the nicest people I know.’
‘You deserve two free kisses for that, Harry Young, and you can make them two of yer famous smackeroos.’
‘Before I do, I want to know who this new bloke in yer life is. If I’ve got a rival for your affections I want to know all about him.’
‘I met him at the dance I went to with Alec. He claimed me in the Excuse Me quickstep. His name’s Geoff and that’s all I know about him, except he’s nice. I don’t ask any questions because I’m always afraid they’ll ask questions back. And I tell enough lies as it is.’