by Joan Jonker
‘Perhaps when yer’ve settled in, I’ll be able to meet her and her husband.’ Geoff couldn’t understand why Sadie wouldn’t let him take her home – not even to the end of the street, never mind her front door. But perhaps this move might see him meeting some of her family. ‘They don’t mind yer going out with boys, do they?’
‘No, I shouldn’t think so. They’ll probably be delighted to meet yer.’ Sadie crossed her fingers for good luck. She hadn’t told him any big lies, just left out the whole truth. ‘Anyway, it won’t be for a few weeks yet. I’ll see yer loads of times before then.’
‘Where do they live?’
‘I’m not telling yer no more in case it doesn’t come off.’ Sadie told herself it had to come off or she’d die of disappointment. She’d just come from a house that wasn’t fit for any human being to live in and if she didn’t get away she’d lose her sanity.
Chapter Fourteen
As soon as Sadie saw Brenda on Monday morning, with her bright smile and clear eyes, she knew her friend’s fears had been groundless. ‘If you put yerself in that position again, Bren, then yer’ve only yerself to blame an’ yer’ll deserve everything yer get. Yer lucky, yer’ve had a warning so heed it. Keep away from stinkers like Alec or yer’ll get yerself a bad name and no decent feller will touch yer with a barge-pole.’
‘Don’t worry about that – I’ll be steering well clear of Alec Gleeson,’ Brenda said, nodding her head for emphasis. ‘I heard how he got that black eye, and why. And I want yer to know, Sadie, that I was stupid to believe what he said about yer and I’m sorry.’
Sadie’s voice was high with surprise when she asked, ‘Who told you?’
‘Sylvia Black from the sewing room. She said everyone in the factory had heard about it and they’re all givin’ Alec the cold shoulder.’
‘Well, at least it’ll put paid to him ruining your reputation, or anyone else’s. He’ll be afraid to open his mouth in future. But for God’s sake let it be a lesson to yer, Brenda, and keep any other boy at arm’s length. Nice girls don’t let boys do what you let Alec do, so bear that in mind.’
Sadie was silent for a while, deep in thought. Then she decided that as she’d have to go to the office today to give her notice in, it would be mean not to tell her workmate first. ‘Bren, I’ve got meself another job an’ I’ll be givin’ me notice in today. I’ll be leaving a week next Saturday.’
Brenda looked stunned. ‘Oh, yer not, Sadie. Please tell me yer not.’
‘I’m sorry, Bren, but it’s true.’ Sadie took one look at her friend’s face and was filled with guilt. And when the lies started she felt even worse. ‘I’ve got the chance of a job in a sweet shop in Aigburth and I’m takin’ it.’
Brenda had always shown signs of being selfish and childish, and it came out now as her eyes filled with tears and she wailed, ‘But what about me? We’ve always worked together, yer can’t leave me just like that!’
Sadie’s guilt evaporated when she saw the tears of self-pity roll down Brenda’s cheeks. ‘Oh, but I can! I’ve found meself a better job and I’m taking it. And if you were any kind of a friend you’d show some interest in the job and be happy for me. But the only person you’re interested in, Brenda, is yerself. Let’s hope the girl they put in my place will be as soft with yer as I’ve been for the last two and a half years. I can’t see it meself ’cos there’s not that many fools around. Not in this factory, anyway. Most of them would make mincemeat of yer if yer tried to come the little innocent with them.’ She thought back over the years to the number of times Brenda had pleaded an upset tummy or a headache for being so slow filling a crate that Sadie had given her a hand so she wouldn’t get into trouble. ‘If I were you I’d start right now learning how to do the job properly. Try moving yer arms and legs a bit quicker and with a bit of luck yer’ll be able to keep up with the new girl when she comes.’
The rest of the morning passed in stony silence. Sadie knew it was a ploy on Brenda’s part to fill her with such remorse she’d change her mind about leaving, so she let her get on with her sulking. There was as much chance of the sky falling down as there was of her changing her mind. When the dinner-bell sounded, Sadie grabbed her bag and made for the door, saying over her shoulder, ‘I want a word with Bobby, so I’ll see yer at the chippy … that’s if yer intend going.’
The smile dropped from Bobby’s face when he heard the news. ‘Ah, blimey, Sadie, just when I was gettin’ to know yer! But it won’t stop yer comin’ out with me, will it?’
‘No, I shouldn’t think so. Anyway, it’s two weeks off – I’ll be goin’ out with yer four times before then. And I can come and see yer in me dinner-hour because it’s only about six stops on the tram.’ May God forgive me, Sadie thought, for telling lies to someone as nice as Bobby Bennett. If only Brenda could have seen the goodness in him, he’d have been an ideal boyfriend for her. Then she had an idea. It was worth a try, and if it worked out, it would salve her conscience. ‘Bobby, on the Thursday before I leave, would yer mind if Brenda came out with us? Just a little farewell thing, nothing spectacular. I’ve worked with her since the day I started, so it would be nice to ask her … that’s if yer don’t think I’ve got a cheek for asking?’
‘If that’s what you want, Sadie, I’m willing.’
‘Bobby Bennett, yer one of life’s gentlemen, yer really are.’
‘And you, Sadie Wilson, are a real little lady.’
Sadie giggled. ‘Shall we stand here all through the dinner-break and starve while we pay each other compliments?’
‘Lookin’ at you is better than a corned-beef sandwich any day, Sadie.’
‘It won’t stop yer tummy rumbling, so I think we’d better eat. And I don’t have a lot of time ’cos I have to go to the office to hand in me notice. So I’ll see yer tomorrow, Bobby.’
Sadie was waiting to be served when Brenda walked into the chippy. She handed a penny over, saying, ‘Get mine, will yer, Sadie?’
When they were walking back to the factory, eating their chips in silence, Sadie decided it was time to break the ice. She had another two weeks to work with Brenda, and she didn’t want those two weeks to be miserable; she wished to part as friends.
‘Me and Bobby were wondering if yer’d like to come out with us next Thursday? It’ll only be to the pictures but it might be the last chance we get of all goin’ out together. And we’ve been friends for a long time, so it would be nice. There’s really only you an’ Bobby that I’ll miss. I haven’t made any other friends.’
Brenda had had time to reflect and come to the decision that Sadie was much more sensible for her age than she was. And that was all the fault of her mother for insisting upon treating her like a pampered child. But the time had come to put away childish things and grow up, like Sadie said. ‘Doesn’t Bobby mind me comin’ out with yer?’
‘Not at all. He’d be over the moon having a pretty girl hanging on each arm.’
‘I’m surprised at you goin’ out with him, he’s not handsome or anything.’
‘Brenda, how many times do I have to tell yer that it’s not the wrapping yer look at, it’s what’s inside the parcel. Next time yer see Bobby, open yer eyes and yer ears, and yer’ll be surprised. As far as I’m concerned, I’d rather have him a hundred times over than the likes of Alec Gleeson.’
‘It’ll be nice for the three of us to go out together.’ Brenda said. ‘When I tell me mam she’ll be made up. She worried that I never took Alec home, but every time I asked him he made an excuse.’
‘It’s a pity about that, ’cos your mam would have seen through him in no time, like I did. I had him pegged from the word go. I only went out with him because I had no money an’ I needed someone to pay for me.’
‘I should have taken notice of yer, Sadie, then I wouldn’t have let him do those horrible things to me. I’ll watch out for every boy in future.’
‘All boys are not the same, I’m fed up tellin’ yer! Bobby Bennett is a real little gentleman, he re
spects girls.’
‘I’m goin’ to look for a boy like that – someone who respects me.’
Sadie smiled as she heard the words. Brenda was very childish for her age, there was no getting away from the fact. But, please God, she’d have enough sense to see that Bobby was just the kind of boy she was looking for.
Sadie couldn’t wait for Saturday to come. The time seemed to pass so slowly. In work she’d be willing the hands of the clock to go faster while smiling and nodding her head in response to Brenda’s constant chatter. There was no sadness in her heart about leaving, no feelings of sentiment. It had been a job, nothing more. The floorwalker was a good bloke, he’d always been cheerful and helpful. But apart from him, and Brenda, she’d never made friends with anyone else in the packing room. How could you have friends when you couldn’t invite them to your home? Even on the nights she was out with Geoff or Bobby, her mind wasn’t with them, it was at the market with Mary Ann, Sarah and her own, very first proper bed. Only on the night she met Harry in the park did she feel sad. He was the only one who knew about her family and the conditions in which she lived, and yet he’d stuck by her. In Sadie’s eyes that made him a true friend and she’d miss him. She had never let herself think of him as anything but a friend because she knew it could never be otherwise. He’d settle down one day with a nice girl from a decent family, someone his mother would approve of.
When Saturday finally came, Sadie hurried home from work to pay her wages over and have a bite to eat before going to the market. She found Jimmy sitting on the front step looking very depressed. There was nothing in his life to be happy about, but today he seemed more miserable than usual. ‘Have yer had yer dinner, Jimmy?’
‘No.’ Jimmy gazed down at his hands, clasped between his knees and with the dirt still on from the day before. ‘I’ve only had a round of bread all day an’ I’m starvin’.’
‘Why isn’t the dinner ready? Isn’t me dad home yet with his wages?’
‘Yeah, he’s home. Me mam sent our Dot out to get the messages.’
‘And she hasn’t come back yet?’
‘Oh yeah, she came back!’ Jimmy stood up and dug his hands into pockets that were ripped to pieces like the rest of his trousers. His young face dark with anger, he looked at Sadie. ‘They’re dirty they are, and I hate them! I wish they were dead! When I’m a bit older I’m goin’ to run away from home an’ I’ll go away to sea. I’ll go where they’ll never, ever, find me.’
Sadie was shocked to the core. ‘What on earth’s happened? I’ve never heard yer talk like this before, Jimmy. What’s upset yer so much?’
Near to tears, the lad shook his head. ‘They’re bad, they are. They’re wicked an’ I hope they go to hell when they die.’
‘Tell me what’s happened to get yer in such a state. Come on, Jimmy, yer know yer can talk to me.’
Jimmy cast his eyes down. ‘Yer know how me dad always drags me mam upstairs to the bedroom on a Saturday? Well, when our Dot came back from the shops and found out they were up there, yer should ’ave heard the carry-on out of her! She started screamin’ and shoutin’, and the bad words she used were terrible. Everyone in the street must ’ave heard her.’ The lad’s eyes looked sad and troubled. ‘Our mam and dad are not like a real mam an’ dad, are they, Sadie? They don’t look after us proper.’
Sadie was raging inside. This was a twelve-year-old boy talking. He should be dressed in decent clothes, his tummy should be full and he should be out playing footie with his mates. Instead he was dressed in rags, his tummy was empty and he didn’t have any mates. And because she’d suffered all these things herself, she knew exactly how he felt. And from next week he wouldn’t even have her to tell his troubles to … But even if she stayed, cast aside her dream – what could she do to improve the quality of Jimmy’s life? And that of Ellen and Les and baby Sally? Nothing – because she was too young in years and too short of money. But she wouldn’t abandon them; she’d find some way of helping them.
‘Jimmy, I want yer to know that whatever happens I love you and the other kids. Not our Dot, I’m afraid, I’m not goin’ to be a hypocrite about it, I can’t stand her. But I’ll always be there to help when I can. And keep tellin’ yerself that yer won’t be a kid forever. The day will come when yer grow into a man and can choose the life yer want to live.’ Sadie held her hand out to him. ‘Come on, let’s see if your dear sister’s got yer dinner ready.’
‘She’s upstairs in the bedroom with me mam an’ dad.’ Jimmy’s voice was choked. ‘I told yer, she took off like a ravin’ lunatic. Threw all the messages on the table and ran up the stairs shoutin’ her head off.’
Sadie ground her teeth together. ‘Oh, she did, did she? Well, we’ll soon see about that!’ Rage had Sadie taking the stairs two at a time. She banged on the bedroom door with a clenched fist, shouting, ‘If yez are not out of that room pronto, I’m goin’ for the police. And don’t think I won’t, ’cos it would give me great pleasure to see yez all behind bars, which is where yer should be.’
She could hear scuffling behind the closed door and banged again. ‘I want me dinner on the table before yer can say Jack Robinson or I’ll take the kids with me to the chip shop and buy them a dinner out of me wages. Then I’ll go to Blackler’s and spend the rest of me money on meself.’ After one last bang on the door, Sadie tripped down the stairs, beckoned to Jimmy to come in, and they sat side by side on the couch, watched with awe by Ellen, Les and the baby.
Dot was the first to show her face and the look she gave Sadie was one of hatred. ‘I don’t know who the bleedin’ hell yer think yer are, but yer not ordering me around. If yer want any dinner, make it yerself, smarty pants.’
‘Right. That suits me fine.’ Sadie stood up and stared back into the hard face of her sister. ‘I’m sure the kids would rather have somethin’ from the chippy than the muck you serve up.’
Dot was having second thoughts. ‘I’ll do the kids’ dinners, but I’m not doin’ anythin’ for you, so yer can bugger off to the chippy.’
Lily Wilson came through the door in time to hear her daughter’s words. She swiftly crossed the room and delivered a stinging slap to Dot’s face. ‘Yer’ll do as yer told, yer hard-faced little madam! And don’t you dare back-chat me or I’ll give yer more than a slap across the face. Get in that kitchen and see to some dinner for the whole family.’
Lily didn’t meet Sadie’s eyes as she picked up the baby. What was happening in the house was getting out of hand but she was powerless to stop it. She was being usurped by her own daughter and blackmailed into silence.
Jimmy tugged on Sadie’s skirt and patted the seat next to him. When she was seated he winked at her and braved his mother’s wrath by saying, ‘I wish it was you at home all the time, our Sadie, instead of our Dot. She’s a dirty, lazy thing, and mean. She’s always hittin’ us for nothing.’
Lily shook her fist at him. ‘You keep yer trap buttoned.’
‘Oh Mam, yer should never stop anyone from telling the truth.’ Sadie’s voice dripped with sarcasm. ‘After all, it’s you who’s got yerself in a hole; it’s no good takin’ it out on the kids ’cos ye can’t dig yerself out of it.’
There was venom in Lily’s eyes but she wisely kept her mouth shut.
‘Sarah’s been waitin’ ages for yer, girl, she was beginnin’ to think yer weren’t coming.’ Mary Ann eyed Sadie’s flushed face. ‘Been rushin’, have yer?’
‘Me dinner wasn’t ready an’ I had to wait.’ Sadie wasn’t going to tell the truth. Apart from the shame, she was afraid the stall-holder would be so incensed she’d take the matter further. If that were to happen, the children would be split up and put in institutions and Sadie might never see them again. It was the fear of that happening that had stopped her from ever going to the police or telling her teacher when she was at school. ‘Where is Sarah?’
‘She may have gone to see Andy, to give him the address for delivering the bed.’ Mary Ann grinned. ‘Anyone would think she was
expectin’ royalty to move into her spare room, she’s that excited.’
‘Ay, I’ll have you know I’m as good as royalty any day.’ Sadie had used the time it took to walk from home to calm her emotions. Devastated by the state of affairs at home and the plight of her brothers and sisters, she’d made a vow to spend some of her weekly pocket money on buying clothes for them off Mary Ann’s stall and finding a way of getting them to the children without disclosing where she lived. She would keep in touch with them until she was old enough to offer them a home where she could take care of them. But she was starting a new life for herself and that must take priority. From next Saturday Mary Ann would be her friend and employer, the market would be her work and Sarah and her husband would be her family. These people were giving her the chance of a new beginning; they didn’t want to take her problems on as well. So Sadie’s smile was wide when she told the stall-holder, ‘I’ve never mentioned it before ’cos I didn’t want to sound big-headed, but me real title is, wait for it, Princess Sadie of Sefton Park.’
‘I’m glad about that, girl.’ Mary Ann’s face was as straight as a poker. ‘It will add a touch of class to yer superior-quality clothes stall. Which, incidentally, has been in great demand. Your friend Elsie has been spreadin’ the word an’ we’ve had several requests. I had to tell them my supervisor in superior-quality clothes hadn’t arrived but would be here later to show them her wares.’ The stall-holder dropped her pose and, jerking her head, said, ‘So yer’d better get crackin’ and sort some of the clothes out, girl, ’cos once a customer is let down they don’t come back again.’ She began to shake with laughter at the thoughts running through her mind. ‘If I were you, girl, I wouldn’t tell Elsie about yer bein’ Princess Sadie of Sefton Park. ’Cos yer see, girl, I think she’d be after yer for the job of lady-in-waiting.’
‘If she brings customers to me stall then she can have the job of lady-in-waiting. In fact, if she brings enough customers, and the money starts rolling in, I’ll let her have a go at bein’ Princess Elsie of Paddy’s Market.’ Sadie tutted at the expression on Mary Ann’s face. ‘Yer only jealous! I’ll tell yer somethin’ else, as well. Andy said it’s quite possible that the King has slept in that bed I’m gettin’.’ She poked her tongue out. ‘So there!’