by Joan Jonker
‘Was it hell!’ Florrie smoothed the front of her floral pinny before folding her arms and hitching up her bosom. ‘Your friend, Sadie, told him a few home truths and she did it so well I felt like clapping.’ Florrie took on the part of Sadie. ‘ “Call yerself a father, well that’s a laugh. I’ll never acknowledge you as my father, I’d be too ashamed. What yer are is a dirty man, and a cruel man who likes to beat the daylights out of the children. Yer a mean and selfish man who stands in the pub every night supping pints while yer family sit in the cold because there’s no money for coal. No money for food or clothes, either, so the kids go hungry and walk around like tramps”.’ She glanced at her husband to bear out that what she was saying was the truth.
‘I know I haven’t got it right word for word, but it’s near enough, isn’t it, Jack? Then she said, if he wouldn’t buy the children clothes, she’d be sending them some as often as she could afford to. And she warned him that if he threw them on the back of the fire her friends wouldn’t take kindly to it. Nor would they take kindly to him hitting the children, so in future he’d better keep his hands to himself.’
Jack coughed to draw his wife’s attention, and when she looked at him, he raised his brows. ‘Isn’t there something you want to say to Harry, love?’
‘Yes, there is. I was wrong about Sadie, son, and I’m sorry. Children can’t help who they are born to and I should have had the intelligence to work that out for meself. She stuck up for those kids tonight and it made me feel so ashamed for treating them like dirt and the terrible names I’ve called them. I’ve had my eyes opened tonight, believe me. The girl I thought of as being as common as muck speaks better than I do! While her father was coming out with all the vile words yer could think of, never once did she resort to using swearwords. And to think she’s spending all her money on clothes for the children! She must really be as good and as nice as you’ve always said, Harry.’
‘Mam, from the day Sadie was old enough to talk, she has always been a little lady. I’ve never heard a bad word cross her lips.’ Harry let out a deep sigh. ‘I wish I’d been here, I’d like to see her. What time did all this happen?’
‘Just before you came in,’ Florrie told him. ‘Our Paul went out to the door and she was walking down the street with her two friends. I don’t know how yer missed them – yer must have passed them.’
Harry closed his eyes. Oh, dear God, he had passed them! He was turning into the street as three people went by, two blokes with a girl walking between them. He looked at his brother. ‘Paul, was Sadie wearing a scarf?’
Paul was still nodding when Harry grabbed his coat and headed for the door. ‘I’m goin’ to see if I can catch them up. Keep me dinner warm, Mam.’
Florrie and Jack exchanged glances. ‘Yer’ll never catch them up now,’ Florrie shouted. ‘They’ll be miles away.’
They heard him say, ‘With a bit of luck they may be waiting for a tram.’ Then the door banged behind him.
Paul pulled a face. ‘What’s got into him?’
‘Never you mind,’ Jack said, giving Florrie a significant look. ‘And when he comes back I’d advise yer to keep yer trap shut unless yer fancy a black eye.’
Harry ran so fast he had pains in his chest. He tried the tram stops either side of the road going to and from the city, then ran down to Mill Street to see if he could catch sight of them by the stops going to Aigburth. He knew in his heart he was wasting his time. They could be anywhere, gone in any direction, but he had to try.
It was an hour later when Harry fitted the key into the lock. Florrie heard it and made straight for the kitchen, throwing a warning glance at Paul as she passed. When she came through with a steaming plate in her hands, she said softly, ‘Here yer are, son. It’s a bit dried up now but that can’t be helped.’
Harry threw his coat over the arm of the couch and pulled a chair from the table. ‘Can I just have a cup of tea, Mam? I really don’t feel hungry. It must be the pint I had, I feel bloated.’
Florrie opened her mouth to argue, for there was nothing she disliked more than having good food wasted. But seeing the look of despair on her son’s face she held her tongue. ‘I’ll put it back in the oven; yer might feel like it later.’
Jack jumped to his feet. ‘I’ll put the kettle on – I could do with a cuppa meself.’
Harry wiped a hand across his forehead. ‘While we’re all here, can I ask yer to do me a favour? If any one of yer sees Sadie again, don’t let her go without finding out where she lives. I was very fond of her and I’d like to know how she’s getting on.’
‘I’ll do that, son,’ Florrie said, picking up the plate. ‘Even if I have to sit on her until yer come in, I’ll not let her get away.’
‘What about the older children?’ Jack asked. ‘They should know where she lives.’
Harry shook his head. ‘I’ve asked the boy, Jimmy, but he said she won’t tell them in case their father beats it out of them.’
‘I’ll keep me eyes open,’ Paul told his brother. ‘If I see her I’ll throw her over me shoulder and bring her here.’
‘We’ll all keep our eyes open, son, yer can rest assured on that.’ Florrie jerked a thumb at her husband. ‘Now, Jack Young, where’s that cuppa yer promised to make? Get a move on before we die of thirst.’
Sadie lay in the darkness staring up at the ceiling. Not that she could see it clearly, it was too dark in the room. How Peter could count the cracks in his bedroom ceiling she didn’t know, unless he had the light on. Then Sadie pulled the sheet over her mouth to stifle a giggle. Fancy her believing anything that Peter came out with; he’d say all sorts to get a laugh. But wasn’t it better to be like that, than going around with a face as long as a fiddle?
Turning her head on the pillow, Sadie stared at the alarm clock with the illuminated hands. She’d bought it from one of the market stalls the week she started to work for Mary Ann, to make sure she didn’t oversleep. Many’s the morning she’d cursed its loud tinny screech for interrupting her sleep, but this morning, when she wanted the time to pass quickly, the hands seemed to be moving very slowly. It was still only six o’clock, far too early to get up. There’d be plenty of households up and about at this time, especially if there were young children in the house, eager to see what Father Christmas had brought them. But Sadie was no longer a child and it was too early to wake her grandma and grandad even if it was her first real Christmas.
Not that she had any intention of waking them until she’d got everything ready. She wanted to put their presents on the tree, rake the grate out and have a fire burning up the chimney for them, dust and tidy around, and set the table for breakfast. That should take her an hour, then fifteen minutes to get washed in the kitchen sink and put on her new clothes.
The sheet was brought up to her mouth again as a giggle threatened. New clothes! She couldn’t remember ever having anything that wasn’t someone’s cast off. But it hadn’t done her any harm, so why worry? There were lots of people worse off than her. Those simple words passing through her mind were enough to take her thoughts to her brothers and sisters. If only they could be here, her happiness would be complete. Christmas was a time for families to be together, and although she wasn’t in a position to do anything about it now, she would work towards having the children around her in the not too distant future.
Sadie’s eyes swivelled to the clock. It was still only half-six but she’d be better off working downstairs than lying here dreaming. She didn’t want to be sad today – it would spoil things for her grandparents and for herself, for that matter. There was so much to look forward to, today and tomorrow; she’d be better off thinking of the good things in life rather than worrying about something she couldn’t change.
Sadie swung her legs from under the bedclothes and shivered when her feet came into contact with the freezing cold lino. Her teeth chattering, she felt for the cardi she’d left on top of the bed so it would be easy to find in the dark. Then she groped with her hand until she fo
und the chest of drawers where she’d left a candle standing in a saucer next to a box of matches. The light from the flickering flame cast shadows on the walls as she crept silently to the door and then out onto the landing. She could feel the warmth from the candle on her face but her feet were like blocks of ice. She’d buy herself a pair of bedroom slippers after the holiday – nice warm fleecy ones with a bobble on the front. The third stair from the top was one that creaked, so holding onto the bannister she lowered herself down to the next stair. Sarah was such a light sleeper the least sound woke her up.
Safely in the living room, Sadie closed the door behind her. It was warmer in here because the fire was still bright when they went to bed. She stood for a few seconds making a mental note of the jobs she had to do. First job was to get some light in the room so she could see what she was doing. Standing on one of the wooden dining chairs, she pulled on the chain at the side of the gas-light and held the candle to the gas mantel. After a gentle plop, the room was filled with light, making it at once feel warmer and more homely.
Kneeling down in front of the grate, Sadie took some old newspaper and a bundle of firewood from the coal scuttle, laid them on the hearth and began to rake the ashes through the bars and into the ash-can beneath. Her eyes kept straying to the Christmas tree and she could feel her excitement rising. It was going to be a lovely day, with turkey and mince pies and even a glass of sherry with their dinner. Oh, she was indeed a lucky girl!
The pieces of newspaper were twisted into tight balls and placed in the grate with the firewood on top. Then, using the tongs from the companion set, Sadie picked out a dozen pieces of coal from the scuttle and placed them carefully on top of the firewood. The first match she struck was sufficient to set the newspaper alight, and thinking that luck was certainly on her side today, she watched as the wood caught fire and the flames began to lick around the pieces of coal. Sitting back on her heels, she waited for five minutes to make sure there was no chance of it fizzling out before brushing the hearth and emptying the ash-can.
By a quarter to eight, Sadie was sitting in Joe’s chair by the side of the fire, willing the hands on the clock to move faster. She’d made two trips upstairs, once to get the presents which now hung from the tree, and a second time to collect her best clothes. Now, as she waited patiently, feeling very pleased with herself, her eyes swept the room. Everything had been dusted, the table was set for breakfast, the fire was burning brightly and the big black iron kettle was on the hob ready to mash a pot of tea at the first sound of movement from above. Talk about being all dressed up and nowhere to go isn’t in it, she was thinking when her eyes caught the movement of the door handle. She was smiling broadly when Sarah’s head appeared. ‘Surprise, surprise, Grandma!’
‘Well I never! It certainly is a surprise, sweetheart, ’cos when there was no sound from yer room I thought yer were still sound asleep.’ A smile covered the lined face. ‘Here’s me, coming down the stairs backwards on all fours so I wouldn’t waken yer up. It’s a good job no one could see me, they’d have thought I was doolally.’
Sadie hurried to take the frail body in her arms. ‘A Merry Christmas, Grandma.’
‘And to you, too, sweetheart, and may you have many more.’
‘Oh, I intend to.’ Sadie smothered the old lady’s face with kisses. ‘You and Grandad won’t get rid of me that easy. I’m here to stay.’
‘I’d better go and get Joe up.’ Sarah turned towards the door. ‘He is awake, but I told him to stay in bed where it was warm until I got the fire lit.’
Sadie reached for her arm. ‘Yer not climbing those stairs again. I’ll give him a knock.’
Sarah didn’t argue. Sadie’s presents were in the cupboard at the side of the fireplace and she could have them on the tree by the time the girl came down. ‘I’ll make a pot of tea, then. He likes a hot cuppa these cold mornings, does my Joe.’
Sadie had already cut three thick slices off the tin loaf, and while Sarah saw to the tea, the girl squatted on the floor to toast the bread in front of the fire with the aid of a long-handled fork. And this was the scene that met Joe’s eyes when he entered the room. His mind flashed back to all the previous Christmases when there didn’t seem to be anything to celebrate. Now they had Sadie, and she had enriched their lives more than they’d ever thought possible. And when she ran towards him with her arms outstretched he couldn’t help the tears that ran slowly down his lined cheeks.
‘Ay, come on, Grandad.’ Sadie could taste the salty tears in her mouth. ‘Yer can’t cry on Christmas morning.’
‘Don’t mind me, queen, they’re tears of happiness. And why wouldn’t a man be happy with two lovely women to take care of him?’
‘We’ll have a bite to eat first,’ Sarah said, spreading butter on the toast. Like her husband, she was feeling a happiness she hadn’t known in years. ‘Then we’ll open our presents.’
‘You open yours first, Grandad,’ Sadie said when they’d finished eating and the dishes had been carried out to the draining board to be washed later. ‘ ’Cos you’re the oldest.’
‘Well, that’s a back-handed compliment if ever I heard one.’ But Joe was content to sit back and watch as Sadie lifted three brightly wrapped parcels from the tree. One was quite bulky, weighing the branch down, and the old man reached for it eagerly. ‘I’ll save that till the last.’
Sarah’s eyes shone with love for her husband. ‘It’s like a child yer are, Joe O’Hanlon, saving the best till the last.’
‘I feel like a child, Sarah, love. Younger than I’ve felt for many a long year.’ Joe ripped the paper from the bedroom slippers and chuckled with delight. ‘Just the job, they are. I’ll be able to get rid of these old ones, they’re falling to pieces.’ He kicked his old slippers off, threw them on the fire and slipped his feet into the new ones. ‘Thank you, queen, they’re a welcome present.’ Next came the tin of tobacco and he insisted on lighting his old briar before opening the last gift. ‘I’ll not be short of baccy for the next week, thanks to you, queen.’
Sarah watched him puffing contentedly and tutted. ‘D’yer mind, Joe O’Hanlon? We’d like to open our presents, yer not the only one in the house.’
Sadie’s inside was bursting with excitement. Buying this extra present for Joe, and one for Sarah, had left her penniless. But it was worth it. She didn’t need money, anyway – she had everything she wanted to last her until next pay day. ‘Shall I open it for yer, Grandad?’
‘Not on yer life! Half the pleasure is in the opening.’ The paper was torn to shreds in his eagerness and his gasp of delight was all the reward Sadie needed. The thick woollen cardigan was in a dark beige and had two deep pockets. ‘By, that’s grand, queen. With this to keep me body warm, me new slippers on me feet and me pipe in me mouth, I’ll be in me element. But yer shouldn’t have spent so much money on us. Yer must have left yerself skint.’
‘I’m all right, Grandad, I’ve got everything I need. And the cardi didn’t cost that much. I bought it from me superior-quality clothes stall.’
‘Well, come and let me give yer a kiss, then Sarah can open her presents. She’s givin’ me cow’s eyes for making her wait so long.’
Sadie picked the three presents from the tree and presented them to Sarah with a flourish. And when Joe saw his wife put the largest parcel on the side of her chair he took the pipe from his mouth and chuckled, ‘It’s like a child yer are, Sarah O’Hanlon, saving the best till the last.’
‘Put the pipe back in yer mouth, man, and let me enjoy meself in peace.’ Sarah opened the gloves first and exclaimed in delight, ‘Oh, sweetheart, they’re lovely. Me hands will be as warm as toast in these.’ The slab of Cadbury’s had her giving her husband a warning. ‘This is mine, Joe, so keep yer eyes and fingers off it. You have yer baccy an’ I’ll have me choccy.’
Sadie was fidgety with excitement. ‘Come on, Grandma, open the other one so I can see if yer like it.’
‘I’m sure I will, sweetheart.’ Sarah was care
ful with the wrapping paper. Having to be practical with money, she hated waste. And if the paper wasn’t torn it could be put away for next year. But when she saw the deep maroon cardi, all thought of being economical fled and the paper was allowed to fall to the floor when she jumped to her feet. ‘Oh, child, it is beautiful! Joe, will yer just look at this? It’s me favourite colour, too!’
Joe coughed to clear his throat before gazing at Sadie’s beaming face. ‘Listen, queen, I’m an old man so yer’ll have to forgive me if I shed a few tears. Me and Sarah, we haven’t enjoyed Christmas for the last fifty years. We have tried a few times, buying each other a present and pretending to celebrate, but our hearts weren’t in it and we weren’t fooling anyone, least of all ourselves. But this year everything’s changed. Last night we had the smell of the turkey wafting through from the kitchen, this morning we come down to a tree with presents on. And lovely presents they are, too. But the most precious gift me and my Sarah have been given is you.’
Sadie swallowed hard. ‘I’m not going to cry, Grandad, even though I want to. If I let one tear escape then I’ll be finished. I’ll end up bawling me head off and spoil Christmas for everyone.’
‘Yer’ll do no such thing, child,’ Sarah said, shaking her head and tutting at her husband. If she could keep her tears under control, why couldn’t he? Mind you, Joe had always been an emotional man, and wasn’t that one of the things she loved about him? ‘You just sit back and puff on yer pipe, Joe O’Hanlon, and give Sadie a chance to see her presents.’
‘Don’t shout at him, Grandma,’ Sadie said, ruffling the old man’s hair. ‘What he said was lovely, and when I think of it in bed tonight I’ll have me cry then.’
‘Well, here yer are, sweetheart.’ Sarah handed over two parcels. ‘They’re not much compared to what yer’ve given us, but I think yer’ll like them.’