Rhodey’s lips slanted. “Are you enjoying this, Noah? Because talking to me like that makes me think you’d like this to be a long visit.”
Get a fucking grip on yourself.
He schooled his features. “No. I’m sorry, that was uncalled for.”
“Smart boy.” Rhodey inhaled slowly, jaw working as though chewing over his thoughts. “The gang had both those kids months ago. They stabbed one. If that was what you were reacting to, you wouldn’t have waited this long.”
Noah’s lips thinned. “Leave it alone, Rhodey.”
“No, I don’t think I will. You were willing to abandon everyone. To get yourself locked up again—though I believe you wanted that either way. To put your mother through hell all over.” Rhodey expression darkened. “There better have been a damn good reason or I’m wasting my time.”
“There was.”
“Good. We’re getting somewhere.” Rhodey nodded to himself. “What happened?”
Fuck.
Providing the answers Rhodey demanded would quicken the process, but Noah wouldn’t give him that. Ezran had trusted one person with the information. Noah wouldn’t even know if Jamie hadn’t overheard and been forced to tell him.
He wouldn’t expose Ezran’s pain to save himself.
Letting out a heavy sigh, Rhodey gave him a sharp nod. “I didn’t want to start off this way, but there we have it. Come.”
Noah stared forward, reached the door, then stopped. Being in this mock cell gave him a sickening, familiar feeling, but leaving it was almost worse. He fisted his hands at his sides, digging his nails into his palms.
A few feet away Rhodey slowed and turned. Watched him as though willing to wait all night for Noah to take that next step. When he did, Rhodey’s lips curved into a smile. Though not a warm one. “You’ll move faster next time if you want to convince me that’s not where you’d rather stay.”
“Yes, because locking me in here will definitely help. You’re right, Rhodey. It’s what I’m used to.” He let out a bitter laugh. “I’ll sleep soundly the second I hear the lock click.”
That brought a glimmer of amusement to Rhodey’s eyes. “Who said I’m locking you in? There’s a bed for you upstairs you’re welcome to use.”
There had to be some sort of catch. Noah frowned at the man, but followed him to another section of the basement, muscles tensing as he saw the large sink. His pulse quickened. He took an involuntary step back when Rhodey clicked in the plug and turned the faucet.
“Don’t make me come get you, you must be beyond that by now.” His uncle didn’t bother looking at him. Simply watched the water flow. “What are you, almost thirty? When you were fifteen you’d be right in my face telling me you could take whatever I could dish out.”
“I don’t enjoy repeating myself.”
“Mhm.” Rhodey glanced over as Noah approached. “Hands behind your back. Keep them there or I’ll restrain you.”
Sucking in a sharp breath, Noah clasped his hand to his wrist behind his back. He hated the submissive posture, it never felt natural, but restraints would remain in place for the night, if not longer. If Rhodey decided Noah needed restrictions to the point he’d need help pissing and removing his clothes, he’d bring in another Dom. Noah knew most of the hardcore ones in the area and submitting to any one of them would be humiliating. Knowing Rhodey, he was just waiting for any excuse to give fucking Jared a call and see if he felt like hanging out for a few days.
One hand secured to Noah’s wrist, Rhodey tipped him off balance against the edge of the sink. “What happened tonight?”
“I took Curtis’s gun and planned to start shooting gangsters until every last one was dead.” Tone bored, Noah watched the water ripple, inches from his face. “Then find another gun to shoot some more.”
“Why?”
Lips pressed together Noah braced himself. A firm hand on the back of his head forced his face into the icy water. He jerked at his wrists, breathing out into the water, bubbles rushing around him. The water sluiced down his chest as his lungs burned. He kicked, twisting his body, but Rhodey didn’t let him up until his chest and throat were raw with his water-muffled shouts.
Lifting him, Rhodey took a firm hold of his jaw. “Why did you want to kill them, Noah?”
“Why does it matter?” Noah gasped in air. “I didn’t.”
Down again, longer this time. Noah sagged as Rhodey brought him up. “Are you a killer now, boy? Were you willing to end a few lives just to get yourself back in prison?”
Closing his eyes, he saw the dead man at his feet, his neck broken, eyes staring up at him, unseeing. Finally accepted he’d become a weapon. That his ability to take a life wasn’t limited to those whose crimes made them international targets. He’d gotten out, but that didn’t change who he was. A man capable of taking a life. Who would again if he lost control. “No!”
“Then why?”
Silence. His lungs strained as he struggled not to inhale and drown himself.
When his head came up, water splashed everywhere as he kicked forward, spinning out of Rhodey’s hold.
Rhodey latched onto his neck, pinning him with his back to the massive sink. “What are you trying to do, Noah? Who are you trying to protect? Yourself? Your pride?”
“Ezran!”
“Why? He’s not your problem anymore.”
“He was never my problem! I love that boy and I’d do anything…” Noah almost dropped to the floor when Rhodey released him. “Fuck, there’s nothing I can do for him. Not anymore. This was…” He swallowed hard and shook his head. “This is all I have left to give.”
“And we’ll continue until you realize that’s bullshit.”
“Like fuck it is!”
“Do you even know that boy anymore? Do you care to? Maybe that’s more important than abandoning him again because you don’t know how to be a fucking father to him. Or even a damn friend.” Rhodey shoved away from him, peeling his soaked shirt from his skin and ringing it out. “As for what happened to him, you don’t have to say more. I’ll deal with whoever’s responsible.”
For a second, Noah wanted to argue. To demand the satisfaction of vengeance that would do absolutely nothing for the boy. His stomach turned as his mind stuck on that simple fact. Killing every single member of that gang wouldn’t have been for Ezran. Wouldn’t help the boy heal. Curtis was doing that, simply by being there for him. And Noah…
Noah had reacted in a way that would’ve served no one but himself.
The man who’d hurt Ezran deserved to die. It didn’t matter who made sure it was done. The rest of the gang needed to be handled but eliminating every single one would make Noah no better than the men who’d murdered the fighters in front of The Asylum over two years ago. Some of the gang members were fucking teenagers.
Matt’s brother had been one of them. That sweet kid who hung around Noah’s mother’s house, helping her out with the dog she was fostering who had a new litter of puppies. Shy around Noah, but Garet had been friendly, lending a hand without needing to be asked, bringing him supplies and iced tea while he did repairs. Because of The Asylum, because of Lawson and Curtis, Reed, and his brother, Matt, Garet had been freed from the gang.
But if he’d still been with them tonight, if Noah hadn’t been stopped, he could’ve been one of many bodies. Among other kids who deserved a second chance.
“Fuck.” Noah dropped to his knees, gripping his head in both hands. His whole body shook, and not just from the cold. He would have killed them. If he hadn’t been stopped, he would have killed them all. “Fuck, what’s wrong with me?”
“You spent two years with someone else setting the limits for you, while being completely in control, within those boundaries. Now you don’t have them anymore.” Rhodey let out a heavy sigh and brushed his hand over Noah’s soaked curls. “Among other things.”
Hands braced on his knees, Noah lifted his head. “You missed your calling as a motivational speaker.”
“I was too busy making weapons.” Rhodey patted Noah’s cheek. “You would’ve been one of my better ones if you hadn’t decided on a normal life.” His lips quirked. “Or...normalish.”
“I assume this doesn’t mean we’re done?”
“Not even close.” Rhodey held out his hand and pulled Noah to his feet. “You have so many fucking triggers anything could set you off. Not going on a killing spree is a low bar.” He held Noah’s gaze for a long moment. “What happened with Lawson? That was more than a fight. Your mother knows you, she’s seen you fight a hundred times. What was different about this one?”
Water trailed down Noah’s face from his hair and he swiped it away, his hand coming away slick with blood. He was still bleeding. He stiffened as Rhodey eyed the wound, then motioned for Noah to follow him.
He stopped in front of the cell. “You’ll be answering those questions one way or another tomorrow. I’m going to get the medical kit. You need stitches.”
“The first of many, I imagine.”
“Probably. Try to avoid anything I can’t fix, I’m not a fucking doctor.” Rhodey folded his arms over his chest. “Decide where you’re spending the night.”
Upstairs seemed the obvious choice, but...the whole demented ‘training session’ would be pointless if he wasn’t honest. He pressed his lips together and stepped toward the cell. Disappointing Rhodey shouldn’t mean a damn thing, but it did. He couldn’t meet the man’s level gaze.
His uncle squeezed his shoulder. “We’ll get there, kid.”
“You’re seriously going to call me that?”
“I am.” The cold detachment that had filled Rhodey’s eyes whenever Noah fucked up, for as long as he could remember, thawed enough to show concern. “You’re not the only one who failed the people he loves. I’d rather not have had this revelation before breaking you apart, piece by piece, but that’s the price I’ve gotta pay for making you this way.”
Noah shook his head, not sure how to handle his uncle being this open with him. He could shield himself from the man’s cruelty. His cold ideas of discipline. But genuine caring was something he only accepted from his mother. And even then, he rarely did anything to warrant that kind of attention. It was his job to care for those around him.
What Rhodey was doing was like replacing a broken piece in a machine. Nothing more, nothing less.
“I don’t need your pity.”
“Maybe not, but you’re going to need someone’s by the time I’m done with you. More than your sub’s, who won’t be able to call you on your shit and force you to accept the help you need.” Rhodey gave Noah a small smile, filled with regret. “Let’s just hope there’s anyone left who can—and will.”
There isn’t.
He went to his cell to wait for Rhodey to return and tend to his wound, breathing a little easier in the tight confines, though the open door put him off balance. Even before he’d gone to prison, his ‘strays’ had looked up to him. Relied on him and known they could always trust him to put their needs above his own.
And now I’ve lost that too.
Chapter Sixteen
The world tipped when he sat up, but Lawson managed to rise from the bed, only slightly nauseous from the pain of his ribs and the throb in his skull. He eyed the tall glass of water next to the medication Matt had left for him and decided to attempt the day without them. He didn’t like how tired they made him and he needed to get back to work.
Before he reached the door, he was faced with his own frowning submissive. Followed by Doc, who looked over at the nightstand, brow raised.
“I’m fine.” He continued moving around his room naked, gathering his clothing for the day. Not like Doc hadn’t seen him like this more times than either of them could count, though never for anything fun. He’d almost prefer the man wanting to fuck him, rather than his gaze following him as though he couldn’t wait for his next chance to poke at his broken ribs. “You and the doctor at the hospital said to rest. I rested. Now I have work to do.”
Doc gave him an arch look. “Work all you want, but the pain will prevent you from breathing deeply and you’ll end up with pneumonia. I know what a horrible patient you are when you’re sick. Take the pills.”
“There’s nothing wrong with the way I’m breathing.” Lawson bent down to pull on his boxers. A sharp jab in his side had him sucking in a deep inhale, which hurt even worse. He laughed, nodding when Matt came to take over. Embarrassing as it was, he didn’t plan to spend the whole day naked and Matt didn’t worry as much when he was able to help. “Is there at least another option that will keep me alert?”
“The pills aren’t what’s exhausting you. It’s called healing. You’ve gotten too accustomed to winning fights and aren’t used to dealing with the aftermath of a loss.” Doc crossed the room, picked up the pills, then folded them into Lawson’s palm. “Take this yourself or I’ll make you. Those are your options.” He eyed Lawson’s head. “Maybe Noah should’ve hit you a bit harder and cracked that thick skull of yours.”
“I believe he tried.” Lawson’s lips thinned. He popped the pills into his mouth at Doc’s stern look and took a few gulps of water. “But to be fair, I refused to tap out.”
Matt held up Lawson’s dark red shirt, his eyes flashing with anger. “Fuck fair. If you’d let me watch the match I would’ve—”
“That is why you weren’t there.” Lawson cupped Matt’s cheek. “I might not be in any condition to punish you, but I will see it done if needed. Watch your language when you speak to me.”
“Yes, sir.” Matt lowered his gaze. “I’m just frustrated that sh-things went this far before someone decided to do something about Noah. Jamie being all over the place when the man was around is one thing, but I don’t think Curtis has been able to get him to leave that damn room yet.”
Lawson’s brow furrowed. He shook his head, resting his hip against the dresser when the room tilted. “What do you mean ‘do something about Noah’? Did I miss something?”
“I…” Matt looked over at Doc, who simply motioned for him to go ahead. “Curtis came by this morning. I thought he told you.”
What time is it?
Rubbing his face with his hands, Lawson moved stiffly across the room to where his phone lay on the table beside his reading chair. Almost noon. Again. He glanced back at Matt. “I told you to wake me up at eight.”
“And I told him to let you sleep.” Doc patted Matt’s shoulder. “Rhodey came for Noah after Curtis and I restrained him. He’d gotten ahold of Curtis’s gun.”
“For fuck’s sake.”
And they decided to let me sleep in? Today of all days?
He began doing up the buttons of his shirt, letting his hands fall to his sides as Matt approached him hesitantly, then took over at his nod. “When will he be back?”
Doc held his gaze. “That’s not how this works. There’s no set timeline. Rhodey will know when he’s ready.”
Maybe the damage Noah had done to his head was worse than he’d thought, because not only Matt—who likely didn’t fully understand—but Doc was acting as though Noah being taken by his hardcore, mercenary of an uncle was the most normal thing in the world. The man had knocked Lawson unconscious and tied him up for daring to disagree with him about the rescue attempt for Curtis and Reed.
What the fuck will he do to Noah in the state he’s in lately?
“I don’t care how angry you are with him, Doc, you can’t want…” Lawson shook his head when Doc’s eyes hardened. “There’s no guarantee Rhodey won’t make things worse.”
Stepping up to Lawson, Doc brought his hand to his side, pressing just hard enough that Lawson had to grab the back of his chair to keep from dropping to his knees. “Things couldn’t get much worse. You’re supposed to be the smart one, Law. You’re the only one he couldn’t walk all over. So he put you out of commission.”
Jaw clenched, Lawson straightened. “Then he failed.”
“We’ll see about that.” Doc expression shifted,
amusement tilting his lips. “Take your medication. Give yourself a few more days. You’re in charge. We need you at your best for the New Year’s event in a few weeks.”
Inclining his head, Lawson watched him go, then grabbed his phone, prepared to go down to the bar and make an appearance at the very least. Hopefully get updates from Curtis. Make sure he was all right. Noah didn’t have his own gun, which meant he’d gotten his hands on one of the two accessible ones in The Asylum. The only ones he knew about. Lawson’s was securely locked in the false bottom of his nightstand. Which meant Noah had gone after Curtis’s. And had used the very thing against him Lawson had been trying to avoid since he’d returned.
Why did he need the damn gun?
He couldn’t see Noah getting his hands on a weapon without a reason. Not that anything justified manipulating Curtis, but was him being at the mercy of his uncle any better? The deepest scars on Noah’s body had been put there by the man. As much as his relationship with Noah had deteriorated, he didn’t want to see fresh ones in their place.
“I need to find out if Curtis knows where Rhodey brought Noah.” Lawson kissed Matt’s forehead when his sub tugged his arm. “I will rest, Matt, but I can’t—”
“Leave without pants on?” Matt held up Lawson’s pants, his eyes shining with mirth. “I mean, not like I’d tell you what to do or anything…”
Shaking his head, Lawson held still, lifting one foot then the other so his boy could finish dressing him. “After I finish fucking the snark out of you, I’m going to make sure you can’t sit for a week.”
“Promises, promises.”
“Mhmm.” Lawson gave him a pointed look. “Curtis is perfectly capable of doing it for me right now.”
“Yup.” Matt gave him a slanted smile, slipping from the room, softly singing Panic at the Disco’s Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time.
His boy was definitely in need of some tender loving care. The painfully pleasurable kind. But if Curtis was watching over Jamie, this might not be the best time to ask.
And there was still the matter of Noah. Rhodey hadn’t had him for long. Hopefully, Lawson could reason with him.
Hard Justice: The Asylum Fight Club Book 3 Page 18