by Abbi Glines
“She remembered,” Gee said from the corner of the room where she sat watching me.
“What exactly did she remember?” I asked taking a step toward the bed where Pagan was sleeping.
“Everything, I think. Hell I don’t know. She hasn’t talked. I don’t know how affected she is yet. If she’s hurt, mentally, I expect you to extinguish me. I can’t live with the guilt.”
Panic gripped me and I rushed to the side of the bed and knelt down beside her. What had Gee done? She wasn’t supposed to remember everything until the Deity decided it was time. I had been hoping for some small memory to come back to her but never had I wanted to harm her.
“What… Did ... You…Do?” I lifted my gaze from Pagan’s still pale body and glared at Gee.
“Get mad. Please. I want you to. If she is messed up because I made a stupid ass decision I’m not going to be able to live with it.”
Gee’s solemn expression didn’t help. Gee was never serious. I reached up and brushed the hair from her face gently. The natural pink color of her cheeks was gone. “Tell me what you did, Gee,” I begged. I couldn’t help her if I didn’t know what had happened. I needed an explanation.
“You weren’t fighting. You were just letting her go. Fuck that. I wasn’t going to let you go down so easy. She isn’t happy with the so-called soul mate they created for her. She is lost without you. I… I gave her the brooch.”
The brooch. The one I’d kept for her. The one I’d given back to her only last Valentine’s day. She’d remembered the time I’d come to her as a child. It had been her grandmother’s. She’d wanted me to keep it and give it back to her in her next life. But she hadn’t died then. The brooch had made me remember the girl’s name. So when Pagan Moore was once again in the books to die I remembered her. I went to see her. I was curious. Then it had become something more. So much more.
“What happened?” I asked, afraid to take my eyes off her. I wanted to will her awake. Make sure everything was okay. That her mind hadn’t suffered a trauma too much for her body to bear.
“I left her with it. Then I got worried and turned around and came back. She was… she was curled up on the cement with tears running down her face saying, ‘I forgot him. How could I forget him?’ I carried her up here and she hasn’t moved or said anything since. She just sleeps.”
I couldn’t deal with Gee right now. I didn’t want her near me. “Go. Just go,” I said without looking at her.
“You’ll tell me if she wakes up. I need to know she’s okay.”
“I said to leave, Gee. You’ve done enough. Leave. Us.”
She didn’t argue. She was gone.
I reached for Pagan’s hand and held it in mine. It was cold to the touch. I saw her soul. It wasn’t damaged. Her body wasn’t sick. This was all mental. I brought her hand to my lips and kissed it softly. I shouldn’t have trusted Gee. I’d known she was going to do something stupid when she’d demanded I fight last night. I just hadn’t thought she’d do something this detrimental. I had been working on a plan. Another one— one that might actually work. I had gone about making her fall in love with me again all wrong. I was going to fix that. I was also going to make sure she knew I had never had sex with some other girl. I wanted that cleared up. I didn’t like that tainting us.
Pagan’s hand moved in mine and I stilled. I waited to see if it happened again. Was she waking up? Could she wake up? Her hand barely squeezed mine and I watched it desperately hoping for more. After a few minutes, it hadn’t moved again. I lifted my eyes to stare at her face. Her eyelids appeared blue. She was too pale.
I needed to do something. I’d gone weeks without holding her. She hadn’t wanted me to. But now, I needed it. I needed Pagan safely in my arms. I couldn’t sit here while she lay curled up in a ball, cold and pale. All I could do was wait and keep her warm.
I slipped off my boots and pulled back the cover before sliding in behind her. She immediately rolled toward me and her hands fisted in my shirt. She let out several small sighs then stilled once again.
Pagan
I was warm. Very warm and something smelled wonderful. I buried my face into the warmth. The smell grew stronger. I pressed closer to it and ran my hands up to get handfuls to bring it closer.
“Please tell me this means you’re okay,” a deep voice whispered in the darkness. The warmth was talking. I fought hard to open my eyes. They were so heavy.
“That’s my girl, open those eyes and look at me,” the voice said again. I knew that voice. Panic laced through me and I reached out and grabbed him. He was leaving me. I’d forgotten. I told him to go. I didn’t know, I didn’t know. I fought to open my eyes and reached frantically for a way to hold him here. When I opened my eyes would he be gone?
“Shhh, it’s okay. I have you. Easy, baby,” he soothed me and his arms were around me, pulling me close to him.
My eyes finally opened and I stared at the chest I was pressed up against. I inhaled deeply. This was Dank. My Dank. This was my Dank. He was here. Oh thank god he was here. I pushed back until I could look up at him.
“You’re here,” my voice sounded scratchy.
“Yeah, I’m here,” he replied. His blue eyes glowed in the darkness. I knew that glow. I also knew they would glow brighter after he took a soul.
“Don’t leave,” I begged, tightening my hold on the tee shirt I held in my hands.
“I won’t,” he assured me then he looked me in the eyes. “Do you remember?”
Yes. I remembered everything. The last two months replayed in my head. Those two weeks with Dank. He’d been himself and I’d not remembered anything. He’d tried so hard to reach me. Wait… the girl… the library.
“Explain the girl outside the library,” I said needing to hear an explanation because I knew there had to be one. My Dank would never do that.
“There’s this… guy who you won’t remember but he believes I took you from him. So, he set it up to make you hate me. He wanted me to lose you too. He knew you weren’t yourself and he took advantage of it.”
“Leif?”
Dank’s eyes widened in surprise. “Yeah, Leif, but Pagan… you aren’t supposed to be able to remember him. He doesn’t have a soul.”
Because he was a Voodoo spirit. “I know that, but I remember him.”
Dank brushed the hair back from my face and smiled. “You never did fit the mold. This shouldn’t surprise me. I’ve missed you so much.”
The relief and love in his eyes made me tear up. I’d treated him so badly. “I’m so sorry. I love you, Dank. I love you so much. I don’t know what happened. I can’t believe I forgot you.”
Dank lowered his mouth and pressed a kiss to my forehead, “Don’t apologize. It’s okay. You had nothing to do with this. It is the Deity that did this. They took your memories.”
Why? What had I done wrong?
“Did I make them mad?”
Dank shook his head and tightened his hold on me. I realized my hands were still fisting handfuls of his shirt and I released them and smoothed his shirt out.
“When a soul is created, so is its mate. Jay is your soul’s mate. You weren’t created to be my mate. You have to reconnect with Jay and let your soul decide if you can live without him. They took your memories to make the choice fair. I don’t know how you remembered without their help. But we can’t let them know. You will have to continue the way we were. They want you to choose and now the choice is no longer fair. I don’t want them to take your memories again.”
They could take them again? No. No. I didn’t want that. “So I do what? Date Jay? I don’t want to date Jay.”
Dank flashed a small smile then lowered his mouth to mine, “I don’t want that either but I can’t lose you again. I need you to remember me.”
His mouth covered mine and I decided right now that wasn’t the most important thing. This was. I slipped my hands into his hair and pulled him closer. The first taste of his tongue was heavenly. I rolled onto my back and tugged
at his hair pulling him on top of me. I wanted to be covered with him. I needed him close. I’d kept him at a distance because my stupid mind had betrayed me. Dank shifted and moved his body until it fit perfectly over mine. His arms rested on each side of my head as he held some of his weight off me. I didn’t want that. I wanted all of him. Opening my legs caused his hips to fall against me.
He stopped himself from fully pressing into me. I pulled back from the kiss, “Please, Dank. Don’t hold yourself off me.”
He swallowed hard then slowly lowered his hips until his arousal pressed firmly against me. Whimpering a little from the new sensation I rocked against him. His lips were on mine again instantly and his tongue was stroking the inside of my mouth with a frenzied need. I rocked again and let out a small cry of pleasure as the tingling between my legs shot sparks throughout my body.
Dank let out a groan as our tongues tangled with each other and this time it was his hips that rocked against mine. The pressure was more intense. I threw back my head and let out a sound I’d never made before. Dank’s lips began trailing kisses down my exposed neck and stopped at my collar bone. Then the rough skin from his fingertips touched the sensitive skin just under the bottom of my shirt. I began panting, hoping he didn’t stop. His hand crept up further until he found the snap between my breasts and undid my bra easily. He pushed the unwanted barrier away before running his fingers over each nipple.
“Do you want me to stop?” He asked in a raspy whisper.
I shook my head.
“I want your shirt off,” he said watching me for a reaction.
“Okay,” I replied leaning up to take it off.
“No, I want to take it off,” he said stopping me.
I nodded and he lifted the shirt up and over my head. His hands pushed the straps of my bra back until I had nothing covering me.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered.
His praise made my heart soar.
“I think I remember telling you I’d like to see you with your shirt off,” I reminded him.
A smirk appeared on his full sexy lips and he reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head.
Oh my.
I reached out and ran my fingers over each defined ab muscle. Now, that was beautiful. “Come here,” I said lying back against the pillow again.
Dank’s eyelids were lowered and he gazed hungrily down at me. I wanted his bare chest pressed against mine. Reaching up I slipped my hands behind his head and brought him all the way down until I could taste his lips. His chest brushed against mine and I bit down on his bottom lip causing an approving groan to erupt from Dank as the intimate touch of our bodies brought us closer together.
This was my Dank. I didn’t feel lost or lonely anymore. That feeling had engulfed me over the past few weeks but I understood now. My heart had known Dank was at a distance.
Chapter Twenty- One
Dank
Pagan hadn’t wanted to put our shirts back on once I’d finally put a halt to things. When she’ d slipped her hand between my legs I was pretty sure I was going to blow. She’d just gotten her memory back. She wasn’t ready for that yet. We’d gone further tonight than we ever had before sexually. I wanted to ease her into things and not rush her. The only thing that saved us from taking it too far was the fact she was exhausted. Once we had stopped she’d curled up against me and gone fast asleep.
However, Pagan’s slow even breaths caused her chest to rise and fall against mine and created a friction that I couldn’t ignore. Each time her tight nipples rubbed against me, my control slipped a little more.
“Well it looks like she’s gonna make it. Memory intact and all,” Gee’s voice surprised me. I hadn’t expected her back tonight. I pulled the blanket up over us.
“Yeah, thanks. Not exactly something I want to see. So, do you think you might could, oh I don’t know let a girl know something? I’ve been worried since I left here.”
“Shhhh… don’t wake her up. She’s tired.”
“I just bet she is. She wakes up to wild hot sex with Death. She needs her rest.”
“That didn’t happen. Shut up,” I warned her quietly so not to disturb Pagan.
Gee rolled her eyes, “Yeah right.”
“She has her memory back. She’s fine. Now go.”
Gee winked and was gone.
“You should be nicer to her,” Pagan whispered against my chest.
Damn it, Gee. She’d woken her up.
“I’m sorry. Go back to sleep.”
Pagan tiled her head back and smiled up at me sheepishly, “Well, I would but I think we may need to put on our shirts. Waking up to this makes me want to do… things.”
Knowing she wanted to do things made me throb harder. I was going to have to get up and take a cold shower. “Yeah, probably a good idea.”
Pagan pushed against me and rolled over on top of me. She straddled me and placed both her hands on my shoulders. “Or we could do things.”
Pagan sitting on top of me with her hair falling down over her shoulders topless looking like a goddess was something no man could turn down.
“What things do you want to do?” I asked as I reached up and brushed her nipple with my thumb.
“I want to take off our bottoms,” she whispered and dropped her gaze to my stomach.
Oh damn. I was a goner.
“Pagan, if we take off our pants things could go further…”
She lifted her eyes back up to meet mine and tilted her head to the side and grinned playfully. “I know. I want to go further. With you. Right now.”
All the reasons this was a bad idea ran through my head as she crawled off me and began taking off her shorts. The light blue lace panties that were left had my complete attention. She slipped her fingers in the side and stopped before she pulled them down. Why did she stop? I tore my eyes from her lacy underwear to meet her gaze.
She licked her lips nervously, “I’ve never been naked in front of someone before,” she admitted.
“Good,” I replied sitting up and reaching for her waist and pulling her to me. “You don’t have to get naked in front of me now if you aren’t ready. But if you want to then I will be a very, very happy man.”
Pagan laughed softly, “Actually you’ll be a very, very happy Death.”
I took a nip at her earlobe then whispered, “That’s right and right now Death is having very, very naughty thoughts about you. So please take off those sexy panties and crawl back in this bed with me.”
Pagan shivered in my arms, “That sure is a good way to ask.”
She moved back and slowly pulled them down her legs until she was completely naked. My restraint was shot. I stood up and grabbed her and laid her back on the bed before quickly getting out of my jeans and covering her body with mine.
“Are you sure about this?” I asked her as I brushed her hair back off her face and gazed down into her eyes. I could hold her just like this and be happy. I never wanted to ask for more than she was willing to give.
Pagan shifted her hips until my erection was nestled against her warm folds. “I want it, bad,” she moaned as I slid easily against her.
Lifting my hips I let the feel of my length rub against her arousal. The slick heat caused me to tremble. I wanted inside her.
“Please, Dank, please, she begged locking her legs around my hips.
I wasn’t going to be able to hold back. I needed inside her as much as she wanted me there. Placing both hands beside her head I lifted myself off her as I pulled back until I was positioned at her entrance. She was making soft little moans that made me throb harder with anticipation. Easing inside her I let the ecstasy of being wrapped around her wash over me. The tight warmth was unlike anything I’d ever felt. This could become a drug for me so easily if I let it. Pagan’s body was meant to be worshiped, and I would gladly do it for the rest of eternity.
Pagan
Dank and I made love for the first time and the second and the third before Mir
anda knocked on the door. Dank kissed me and disappeared before I got up and opened it for her. She’d lost her key two weeks ago and we still couldn’t find it.
“What have you been doing? I’ve called you and texted you. Jeez girl you’re hard to get in touch with.”
Miranda walked in just a talking away about Nathan being a jerk. I couldn’t concentrate on what she was saying because the realization of who Nathan was hit me. I grabbed the doorknob to keep from falling.
“Are you listening to me?” Miranda asked. “Are you sick, Pagan? Because you look like you’re about to pass out.”
Go sit on the bed. It’s okay. I know what you’re remembering.
Dank was still in here. I nodded for his benefit and walked over to the bed and sat down. “I’m good. Just got dizzy. You woke me up.”
Miranda frowned and plopped down beside me. “You sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive.”
“Well, then should I forgive him?”
Forgive who? Nathan? I was confused.
“Could you explain all that again? The dizzy thing kind of made it hard to understand what you were saying.”
And yes you should forgive Nathan because he is Wyatt. I couldn’t say that of course. But now I wanted to go hug Nathan and tell him how much I missed him. He’d think I’d lost my mind. No wonder I liked him so much.
“This Siera girl. She calls him to come change her light bulb at six in the morning and he goes, Pagan. He up and goes to fix her light. She isn’t an idiot. She can fix it herself. Why would he go do that? I don’t understand him. We had amazing hot sex last night and I wake up to a note from him saying he’d be right back that Siera called and the light was out and she needed help changing it.”
That was weird. Nathan needed slapped around a little.
“You have every right to be upset. But maybe you misunderstood him.”
Miranda shrugged and laid her head over on my shoulder. I don’t think you can misunderstand that. Guys suck. But you know that. You really liked Dank and he went and screwed that girl. Then Jay bores you. I can see it all over your face. Also I think he may be screwing Victoria again just so you know.”