“Seriously?”
“Very seriously. Besides, I know our pull—our chemistry—but you can’t tell me that part of this wasn’t to see if I’d lose interest after I got you back under me, and that’s not how this is going to happen.”
My mouth snapped shut. “How…?”
His smile made him even more beautiful, even as pained as it was. “I think I know you pretty well by now. I tell you I’m done fucking around, you spook and take off your clothes to test me.”
“You took off my clothes,” I grumbled.
“Semantics.”
“It wasn’t all a test,” I admitted.
“I know that, too, which is what makes it that much harder to tell you no.”
“So you’re not going to touch me until I can say…that?” God, I couldn’t even think those words. Those words—whether or not they lurked in my heart—opened the door and handed him the match to burn me down.
His grin turned wicked. “I’ll touch you whenever you like. I’ll make you come thirteen different ways every single day if that’s what you want. But I’m not making love to you until it’s that. I’ve waited too long to get you back in my bed to just have sex with you, Rach.”
I looped my arms around my knees, simultaneously frustrated, turned on, and stupidly moved by his words. The Landon I knew would have taken me any way he could get me. Nova would have done it without blinking and walked away in the morning. This patient, determined guy…hell if I knew what to do with him.
“So what now?” I asked.
“Now we sleep,” he said, pulling back the covers and sliding underneath. “Unless you want a second round?”
My mouth opened and shut like a fish out of water. Of course I wanted a second round. But I wanted him inside me, with me, not just orchestrating my pleasure. I wanted his, too.
I had two possible courses of action.
I could crawl in next to him, curl into his arms, and sleep…
Or I could slide on top of him and test just how firm his resolve was.
But that slight pleading in his eye told me more than his words. So did the tiny dots of perspiration on his forehead. If he was willing to put himself through this in order to prove himself to me, then I could at least not make it hell on him.
I cursed as I found my panties, then slid them and my tank top on before sliding under the covers with him.
“Sleep,” I said.
“Sleep,” he repeated, pulling me into the curve of his body.
For every inch I gave him, every part of me that relaxed into him, there was a part of me banging even harder against the bars to flee.
I just wish I knew which one would be stronger.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Landon
At Sea
She was going to be the death of me. I’d never been this turned on for this long since…ever. I hadn’t planned that night in the bungalow. Not that I regretted it. Hell no.
How the hell could I regret any moment that I had my hands on Rachel, her breath in my ear, her tight body under mine, my name on her lips?
And shit, now I was hard again.
It was like a permanent fucking condition lately—especially the last three days since we left Papua.
She walked into class? Hard.
Sat next to me? Hard.
Looked my way? Bit her damn lip? Brushed against me in the hallway? Hard.
Said my name? Answered a question in class? Took a swim in the pool?
Fuck my life. It was like I was fifteen again.
I relished every second of it, except maybe the cold-ass showers.
I wasn’t stupid—I was well aware that she was scared, testing the hell out of me, waiting to see if I’d finally give in and sleep with her, or if I’d fuck someone else. I saw it in the way she constantly watched my reactions, the way she pressed against me, kissed me, gave me every out in the book for this relationship.
She didn’t trust me—didn’t trust herself.
Part of her wanted me to fail.
The other girls who hung around weren’t an issue. I’d lost the desire to touch anyone else the moment Rachel appeared on board. Everything else felt shallow, cheap, and I was more than willing to wait for her as long as she needed.
“Hey, Nova,” Zoe said as I walked into my suite. She was stretched out on our couch with two other girls in string bikinis, and from the look of those Solo cups and rum bottles, they’d been drinking awhile.
“Hey, Zoe,” I said, heading to my room to drop my bag.
Of course she followed me. I turned to find her lounging on the doorframe, her long, lithe figure draped to showcase its best attributes. “Long day?” she asked.
I shrugged. “Not really. A good workout, a couple classes. What about you?”
“Oh, the same. I actually helped Pax out with some stuff for Nick, then I grabbed lunch up on deck twelve…”
“Okay?” I knew she was leading into something.
“Oh, it’s probably nothing, but I saw your girlfriend eating with someone.” Her sweet smile didn’t fool me. I also didn’t bother to correct her. I was perfectly fine with everyone in the world calling Rachel my girlfriend. It was Rachel who objected.
“Yeah? I’m glad she got lunch,” I said, putting my books onto my desk.
Zoe’s eyes narrowed. “It was that Hugo guy. The cute one with the dark hair?”
“That doesn’t surprise me. They’re friends.”
She walked over and sat on my bed, crossing her legs. “It doesn’t bother you? I mean, they looked really friendly. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
I did my best to swallow back my annoyance at both. I knew Hugo wanted more. Hell, I’d been there when he’d asked her out. But I’d also been there when she said no, and when she came to my bungalow. I wasn’t going to play into Zoe’s need to incite a riot.
“No, it doesn’t bother me that she had lunch with a friend. And thank you for the concern, but Rachel and I aren’t up for discussion, Zoe.”
She squirmed under my stare. “Fine. I just care about you.”
“You want to get out here and—” Pax startled when he saw Zoe draped over my bed like a damn porn star. “Uh. Hi, Zoe.”
“What’s up?” I asked, sending him a little telepathic save me message.
“Bobby needs you in the dining room.”
“On it,” I said, walking out of my room without a backward glance. “Thank you,” I told Pax as we walked past the bar and the other girls in the living room.
“You didn’t…?”
“Hell no!” The girls all turned to look, and I lowered my voice. “I haven’t touched anyone but Rachel since she showed up.”
The relief on his face was almost palpable. “Oh, thank God. Because the last thing I need is Leah hating you. She’s already had a hard enough time accepting you were the one who hurt Rachel in the first place.”
I slapped him on the back, admiring the change in his priorities these last couple of months. I’d stupidly worried that Leah would distract him, but she’d focused him, given him a purpose that turned into an even more intense drive. “No worries.”
Penna came in through the sliding glass door, moving surprisingly well considering the giant boot she wore. “What did you guys need?”
“Originals production meeting,” Pax said, and we pulled out chairs at the dining room table while Penna stood. At least a production meeting meant there weren’t any cameras.
“I don’t really have anything I need to be here for,” she said.
Pax’s eyes shot fire. “I’m done with this shit. Your leg is healing, and you’re coming back. It’s been us three since the start. If we made it through almost losing Nick, we can handle this, too.”
“Nick didn’t almost destroy us,” she said quietly, her eyes flickering to where the girls were discussing some reality TV bullshit.
“Neither did you!” Pax shouted, uncaring about the audience.
Penna crossed her arms over
her chest.
“Pax…” I warned.
“What? She didn’t.” His gaze swung back to Penna. “I get it. You feel guilty. Guilt that you didn’t know, that you didn’t catch on, that she is your sister. I get it. She’s your family, but you know what? We are, too. So sit your ass down and help us figure out this scheduling mess, Penelope!”
She arched a single eyebrow at his tirade.
He sighed and pulled out her chair. “Please.”
She looked at me.
“We have always needed you, and that’s not going to change,” I said softly.
Her sigh was audible, but she sat.
Bobby came over from where he’d leaned against the wall while waiting for us to get our shit together and laid out the calendar in a series of papers along the table.
“I talked to Nick. Your timeline is fucked,” he said, not mincing words.
“Well, that sounds promising,” I said as the sliding door opened again. Leah and Rachel walked in.
Rachel had on a little green sundress that had to have been specially designed to bring me to my knees. There was no other explanation for the immediate need that clawed at me to strip it off her.
“Hey, Firecracker, come on in,” Pax said to Leah.
“I thought it was an Originals-only meeting,” Zoe said as she came out of my bedroom. Shit.
In my fucking Led Zeppelin T-shirt.
Fuck. My. Life.
Rachel’s eyes widened as she looked at Zoe, then swung to me in question.
I held her shocked gaze and shook my head.
No, I didn’t touch her.
To my utter relief, she didn’t freak. “Nice shirt,” she said to Zoe.
“Yeah, it’s his favorite,” Zoe replied.
“We don’t have fucking time for this,” Pax hissed under his breath.
“I know. I was with him when he bought it,” Rachel said with a sweet smile, and firmly put Zoe in her place.
Fuck, I adored her.
She walked straight over to me, and as I turned to pull out the chair next to me, she sat in my lap instead. Even better.
Once Leah was seated, Bobby started again. “Okay, here’s the deal. You’ve got Sydney tomorrow, then New Zealand, then midterms in Fiji, then home for Christmas.”
“Where’s the issue?” Pax asked.
“Well, your boy here wants to go back to Nepal,” he said, pointing at me.
Rachel turned. “You’re serious?”
“We all had one thing that we wanted to nail during this documentary. That ridgeline is mine. I’m not okay with what happened. I’m not okay walking away having failed. The documentary needs it. Nick needs it. I need it.”
I awaited her judgment with held breath and watched emotions cross over her face in waves. Surprise, worry, and finally resignation.
“Okay.”
“You’re okay with it?” I asked.
She shrugged. “I can’t remember the last time you let anyone tell you what to do when it came to free riding. And honestly, if it’s going to eat at you that you didn’t complete the summit run, then it’s worth it. This trip is all about taking chances and avoiding the what-ifs. Right?”
Uncaring that we were in the middle of the suite, I kissed her. “Thank you.”
Pax cleared his throat. “Okay, well, now that you’re committed to trying to kill yourself, when would you like to go back?”
“Christmas?” I asked. “That’s the only two-week time frame, right?”
“You won’t be ready for the X Games if you don’t spend Christmas practicing,” Penna answered, leaning forward to look at the calendar. “You’re in decent shape, but when’s the last time you were on a half-pipe?”
“Fair point,” I said.
“What about invitations?” Leah asked quietly.
“Our medals from last year serve as our invitation,” Pax answered. “Plus, it’s us, so as long as we’re there a few days early for qualifying runs, we can pretty much enter whatever event we feel like we’re ready for.”
“It wouldn’t hurt to butter up your sponsors, seeing as you’ve dropped off the face of the earth this year,” Penna added.
“Your sponsors, too,” I reminded her, tensing slightly. Gremlin was still a major sponsor, and Rachel’s dad, who was in charge of that contract, pretty much hated my guts. I was going to have to follow up with Pax about that situation.
She snorted. “Yeah, okay. I can go be a pretty statue, but considering this thing doesn’t come off for another month, I highly doubt I’ll be ready to hit anything.”
“You can still compete in snowmobile,” I said. “Your leg should be good enough by Christmas to practice. That’s two weeks in Aspen, then you’re back on board for three weeks before we head to the Games.”
She shrugged. “Not sure.”
Rachel gently squeezed my thigh, and I heeded her warning. Penna was at some kind of crossroads right now. I just wished that I knew which way she was headed.
“Okay, well, we can talk about that later,” I acquiesced.
“So the question is when we can get you back to Nepal,” Pax said to himself, looking at our schedule.
“If I can’t do it over Christmas break, I’m not sure when we can make it happen.” This was why a ton of the guys on the circuit were shocked we were even trying to finish up college. It was fucking with our careers.
“We need the footage for the documentary and, honestly, we’re kind of already on this side of the world. I don’t know when you’ll get the time to come back between classes,” Bobby added.
I rubbed the skin between my eyes. When did this all get so fucking complicated? Everything was precisely timed with our ports, our finals, our classes, and with one moment, I’d fucked everything up.
“There’s one week here.” Bobby pointed to the January calendar. “It’s the Great Wall stunt, but if we split the crew, you could go back to Nepal. You’d just have to leave early, and you’d risk missing the ship on the return.”
“What do you think?” I asked Rachel.
She sighed, looking at the calendar. “I think you’re taking a huge risk without really acclimatizing, and you can run into the same exact issue. You get one chance, and that’s it.”
“She’s right,” Pax said. “I don’t mind financing another expedition. Especially since it would be badass to get into the documentary, really kind of tie it together with the struggle, but one thing goes wrong and you’re out of time…again.”
“But what if I don’t have those issues? Isn’t it worth the risk?”
The table quieted.
“If you think it is,” Rachel answered.
“We’ll back you,” Paxton agreed.
“Will you come with me?” I asked Rachel. “I know it’s a lot to ask.”
She took a deep breath. “Can I think about it?”
“Of course. There’s no pressure.” I wanted her with me, but after the hell I’d put her through last time, I couldn’t blame her if she wanted to say no. My feelings on the subject probably would have been way different if I’d had to dig her out of an avalanche.
“Okay, then we’ll start planning that and splitting the crew,” Bobby said. “Do we have the X Games handled?”
Pax cringed. “Nick is in talks with our sponsors right now. I have a meeting with the dean tomorrow. We’ll see what he says. We’d have to miss at least a week, if not ten days. Between travel, qualifying, and the actual games, we’ll miss all of the Japan stop.”
“Has anyone thought about skipping this year?” Leah asked. “It’s not like you guys are sitting around doing nothing.”
Pax shook his head. “We’ll lose our sponsors and our titles.”
Her nose crinkled.
“Say it,” Pax ordered.
“Are you even in shape for that? I mean, not that you’re not in shape, but that level of shape?” She covered her face with her hands.
Pax laughed and pulled her hands away to sneak a kiss. “Yeah, we’re f
ine. We have all of Christmas in Aspen, and that’s only a few weeks before.”
“Then it’s decided. Nova is back to Nepal in January, and Wilder will work on the X Games,” Bobby said, snapping his folder shut. “Go team.”
“Now on to more important things,” Pax said with a grin.
“Like?” Rachel asked.
“Like turkey,” I said enthusiastically.
She laughed, and it was the sweetest sound I’d ever heard.
…
“I’m fine, Mom,” I said into the laptop the next day as I buttoned my shirt. Leah had threatened us all within an inch of our lives if we didn’t dress up for Thanksgiving.
“Are you sure? I mean, we heard about the avalanche, Landon. The least you could have done was called.” Mom gave me the look, and I sighed.
“I didn’t think you’d ever find out. Promise. Never thought that Gabe’s mom would call you, and I’m sorry. You’re right. I should have called. But I’m fine.”
“How are your grades?” She moved on with her typical finesse.
“Good. Holding my four point oh with no problem.”
“Well, at least you haven’t let your silly little activities derail you on that. Any thoughts on which law schools you’ll be applying to next year? I know you’re a semester behind because you thought it would be more fun to go snowboard some godforsaken mountain, but this is important.”
I swallowed, my tongue thick in my throat. “Well—”
“Get off the boy, Hazel.” Dad’s voice came in as his face appeared next to hers in front of the screen. “How’s it going, Lando?”
“Good, Dad. I was just calling to say happy Thanksgiving.”
“It’s not even Thanksgiving here,” Mom said.
“It’s Thanksgiving there,” Dad told her with a shake of his head. “Meet any girls yet?”
“He’s concentrating on his studies,” Mom argued.
“He’s twenty-two, almost twenty-three, and he’s trapped on a boat where at least half the population is female. I hardly think he’s spending all his free time at the library.”
Nova (The Renegades #2) Page 23