by Tania Hutley
“My band doesn’t work.” When she looks puzzled, I add, “There’s a lot more I need to explain, but it’ll be easier if I tell you both at once.”
“But we can’t call him now. It’s the middle of the night.”
I think of all the midnight training sessions Cale and I had, and manage a twisted smile. “Believe it or not, that’s our best time.”
She still looks uncertain. And tired. She’s in rumpled pyjamas, and her wispy gray hair floats in a halo around her face rather than being tied back in her normal bun. My heart goes out to her. She never asked for any of this, yet she’s taken me in and fed me when I had nowhere else to go. I want to tell her how bad I feel for waking her, but she’s already calling Cale.
It takes a while for Cale to answer, and when his hologram appears above the doctor’s band, he’s tousle-haired and rubbing his eyes. His hair looks a little longer than last time I saw him, and his square jaw is dark with stubble.
I hadn’t forgotten how handsome he is, but it hits me all over again, like I’m seeing him for the first time. Even half asleep, he’s handsome enough to suck the air from my lungs.
He’s wearing a faded gray T-shirt that looks like the one he had on when I last saw him. What wouldn’t I give to be able to go back to that day, to tell him how much he means to me instead of letting him walk away?
“Hello?” Cale’s voice is gruff with sleep.
My heart is thudding, but at the same time, my throat constricts. I was afraid I’d never get to see him or speak to him again, and there are so many things I want to say that I’m not sure where to start.
“I’m sorry to wake you,” Doctor Gregory says. “I’m with Rayne. She thought it would be okay to call this late, considering everything that’s been going on.” Then she glances at me. “I’m going to expand the range so Cale can see you, okay?”
Cale’s soft brown eyes turn suddenly hard. “That’s not Rayne,” he says in a flat, hostile tone.
I drag in a loud breath, my gaze flicking between him and the doctor.
She gives him a puzzled frown. “What do you mean?”
“Her face and name were broadcast on b-Net. She’s Milla Scully, and she’s wanted for murder. She killed the real Rayne and took her place. You shouldn’t believe anything she tells you.”
Chapter Three
The doctor eyes widen and she gets slowly up from the table, staring at me as though I’m about to bite her.
I stand up too, meeting the doctor’s gaze as my stomach turns itself inside out. “I didn’t kill Rayne. I swear I didn’t.”
“Why should we believe you?” Cale’s tone gets even harsher. “You’ve already proven you’re a liar.”
“Please, just hear me out. It’s true, my name’s Milla and I took Rayne’s place. But I didn’t hurt her, and I hated lying to you both. I wanted to tell you the truth, but I was afraid of being kicked out of the contest.”
“Why would you take Rayne’s place?” Doctor Gregory asks in a breathy voice. She isn’t moving, but the muscles in her legs are tense, and her scent gives her away. She’s preparing to move quickly. Maybe to shut herself in the bathroom, to lock herself away so she can call the police again.
I put my hand out to her, speaking fast. “Rayne and her boyfriend came into my shelter one night. I had no idea who she was, I never even spoke to her. But I saw they were being targeted. You can’t just walk in to a shelter wearing clothes like they were and expect to walk out again.” The words tumble out quickly. Though I’m terrified they won’t believe me, it’s a relief to finally admit the truth. “Two men attacked Rayne. They stabbed her. I couldn’t do anything to stop it, though I tried. I swear I tried. Somehow, I was left holding Rayne up while she died. Her blood was on my hands and the announcement of her being chosen for the contest was on the holo.”
Doctor Gregory still looks wary, and Cale is silent, his lips pressed into a line so hard that looking at him breaks my heart.
“I stole her band,” I admit. “It was a split second decision, a crazy thing to do. I regretted it as soon as I’d done it, but it got me into the contest.”
“If you didn’t kill Rayne, it would be easy to prove.” Cale’s tone hasn’t softened. “The security cameras must have shown who really did it.”
“The place was crowded. If the cameras even worked, chances are they wouldn’t show anything. That’s if anyone cared enough to watch the feed.”
“Convenient,” he mutters.
“I was arrested. The stompers let me go because there wasn’t any evidence. Because I didn’t kill anyone.” When he doesn’t say anything, I add, “You know me, Cale. You’ve come to know me better than anyone. Do you really think I could kill someone?”
He stares at me in silence, his eyes narrowed. Perhaps he’s trying to decide whether to call the stompers and turn me in.
“Listen,” I say desperately. “There’s more going on than you know. Director Morelle knew I wasn’t really Rayne. She called me by my real name, then told me she was keeping my secret because she wanted me to compete.”
“I was wondering how you could have deceived the director,” says the doctor. “None of this makes sense, but I find it hard to believe she wouldn’t have known your real identity. She was strict on security. I doubt anyone could fool her for long.” She sounds thoughtful rather than afraid, and her muscles have relaxed a little. Hopefully I’m making progress.
“Director Morelle wanted to study me, to use me as a human guinea pig. She let Cale and I train at night, then tried to run tests to figure out why my human body was wounded when my Leopard Skin was hurt. After the contest, my body was a mess. Her doctor injected me with something to keep me knocked out for days, so I could heal before she started her experiments. That’s where I’ve been all this time. Lying unconscious in a laboratory, waiting for her to cut me up into little pieces.”
“You’ve been in a coma?” Cale asks. Am I just being hopeful, or has a tinge of worry crept into his eyes, softening his anger a little?
“I didn’t know the war had started, but I’m sure the director is behind it, pulling the strings. And there’s something else.” I catch the doctor’s gaze. “I think Director Morelle’s using a Skin herself. She must have made one in secret. I don’t know whether she’s using it all the time, but if she is, who knows what she really looks like?”
The doctor frowns, shaking her head. “That’s not possible. Realistic humanoid avatars are illegal.”
I say nothing, keeping my eyes on hers. After a moment, she sinks back into her chair.
“It’s possible,” she admits. “I was the lead scientist on the project for years, until she started edging me aside. I couldn’t understand why she was pulling me away from my work for other, less important assignments. Like taking care of the contestants. I’m the last person she should have given that job to.”
“You must be too honest,” I tell her. “Maybe she has other scientists who aren’t.”
“We shouldn’t be talking so openly over the network,” says Cale. “It’s not secure.”
“Will you come over here?” I ask. “We could talk in person.”
“How can either of us trust you now?” His anger flares again, his eyes so cold they sear though my chest and deep into my heart. “And what makes you think Doctor Gregory will let you stay in her house when she’s just found out you’re wanted for murder?”
The doctor blinks several times, her hand resting against her cheek. “Well, I don’t know.”
I let out a breath, trying not to let my dismay show. Cale’s right. Of course the doctor won’t want me here after Cale’s revelations. “I can find somewhere else to sleep. But would it be okay for me to come back tomorrow so we can talk some more? We’re the only people who know what’s really going on, and nobody else would understand what I’m talking about.”
“What about your injured feet?” asks the doctor. “Do you have anywhere else to go?”
“I’ll be fine. Plenty
of dark corners in Old Triton I can hole up in.” The idea makes my stomach flutter with nerves, but I give her a reassuring smile. Before my Skin changed me, it would have been too dangerous for me to consider sleeping outside. But I’m a lot stronger now, and anyone who decides to bother me will find I’m tougher than I look.
Cale makes a sound like clicking his tongue on the back of his teeth. “You can’t sleep rough.”
“That’s right,” agrees the doctor. “If you’ve nowhere else, you’ll have to stay here. May I have your word that you’re telling the truth now?”
“I promise I am. In fact, why don’t you test my blood?” I offer her my arm, sweeping my gaze over the equipment on her cluttered workbench. “I probably still have the drugs the director gave me in my system. It’ll prove I’ve been knocked out and that part of my story is true.”
She shakes her head. “That’s not necessary. And I suppose if you intended to murder me, you would have done it by now.”
“I’ve never killed anybody.” Why is it that when I say it out loud, it always sounds like a lie?
“I’ll drop by first thing in the morning to make sure you’re okay,” says Cale. For a moment I think he’s talking to me, then I realize he means to check on the doctor, probably to make sure I haven’t killed her in her sleep. Does he really think so little of me now?
I might deserve his suspicion, but it still makes my heart ache so badly, I have to turn my face away to hide the tears that prickle the backs of my eyes. When we trained together, it was the way Cale trusted me that brought down my barriers. I hate that I’ve lost that trust.
Since moving to the shelter, there’s only been one other person I could really depend on. Tori’s my best friend, and means as much to me as Cale does. But she was moved to another factory, and I may never see her again.
Now I’ve lost Cale too, and it was my own fault for not telling him the truth a lot earlier.
“We’ll see you in the morning,” agrees Doctor Gregory. She disconnects the call and turns back to me, her expression troubled. “It’s late and we could both use some rest,” she says. “I’ll show you where you can sleep.”
I swallow hard, trying to shift the lump in my throat. “Wait. I know I have no right to ask you for any more favors. You’ve already done a lot more than most people would. But if I don’t speak to Ma, I won’t be able to close my eyes. Would you please call her for me? I need to know she’s okay.”
“Now?” she asks with a sigh. “In the middle of the night?”
“I put my band onto Rayne’s body, so the stompers will have told Ma I was dead. It’s been weeks, but I’d like to let her know I’m alive.”
The doctor blinks. “Of course. She shouldn’t continue to believe the worst. But I have no way to give you any privacy.”
“That’s okay.”
When Ma answers, she sounds hoarse and weary. Her hologram forms above the doctor’s band, and the image is far clearer than when I used to speak to Ma using my old glitchy band. It’s almost like seeing her in person. My chest tightens. She looks every bit as ancient and exhausted as she sounds.
“Ma. It’s me.” The tears that stung my eyes earlier force their way free and leak down my cheeks.
“Milla? That’s you?” Her voice cracks. “Love, is it really you?”
The raw emotion in her face makes my chest feel impossibly tight, like it’s going to crush my heart into pieces.
“I’m here, Ma. I’m okay.”
“They told me…“
“I know. I can’t explain what happened to me, but I want you to know I’m okay.”
“Where are you, love?”
“With a friend. How are you? Are you still at the same shelter?”
She’s crying too hard to answer for a while, but finally chokes out something that sounds like, “You’re really alive?”
“I’m alive.” I wipe my eyes on my sleeve. My throat feels raw, like the tears I’m trying to swallow are made of acid. “Everything’s fine,” I lie.
“What happened? Why did they tell me you were dead?”
“It’s a long story, Ma. I’m sorry, I can’t tell you right now.” I glance at the doctor’s tired face. “I can’t talk for long, but I wanted to hear your voice and check you were okay.”
“I’m okay. I’m working.”
“No double shifts?”
“Don’t worry about me, love.” Another burst of tears, then she sniffs hard. “You’re sure you’re not hurt? Do you have a job? Which shelter are you in?”
“I’ll tell you everything later, Ma.”
“I wish I could see you, but my holo app is barely working.” She tugs a scrap of fabric out of her pocket and presses it against her nose. “When I got the message about William, I thought I’d lost you both. I was afraid—”
“What message? Did you talk to him?” We haven’t been able to contact my little brother for a couple of years, since we accepted an offer to transfer him from the rundown orphanage he hated, to a military academy where he was supposed to be given free schooling.
“It was a recorded message to tell me he’s a soldier now. In one of those Skin things.”
“He’s what?” The image of the teenaged soldiers I saw on the holo flashes in front of me, and my stomach turns over. “But he can’t be. He’s too young.”
“Too many of the regular soldiers died in those bomb attacks. The message said he’d volunteered and was now part of the army, but as many times as I call, his band still won’t connect. I don’t know if they’ve blocked my number, or if he doesn’t want to talk to me.” She sobs again. “They’d let him talk to me, wouldn’t they?”
“I don’t know, Ma.” My mind is racing. “William went to an academy owned by Director Morelle. That must be where all her volunteers for her army have come from. We thought the academy was some kind of charity, helping get kids out of orphanages. But all this time, she’s been training soldiers.”
I feel sick. My little brother was always so sweet, it’s impossible to imagine him as a soldier forced to kill people. And what kind of Skin will they make him wear? What if he gets hurt in his Skin, and his real body gets wounded too, like me?
“Have you seen the new Skins?” I ask Doctor Gregory. “Do you know what they’re like?”
The doctor shakes her head, but Ma answers. “I’ve been moved to the factory that’s making them. Horrible things. And that technology’s not safe. I don’t want them sucking out his thoughts, putting his brain into one of those things. They didn’t even ask me, and I’m his mother. They won’t take my calls. Nobody will talk to me, or tell me anything. They won’t even say if he’s alive or dead.”
“I’ll see what I can find out, Ma.”
“Will you, love?” She sucks in an audible, shuddering breath. “When I thought I’d lost both of you, it just about drove me mad.”
“I won’t let anything happen to William. I promise, Ma. I’ll make sure he’s safe. And if Director Morelle’s taken him against his will, I’ll get him back.”
Chapter Four
After having been asleep—unconscious—for so long, I don’t know how I could be so exhausted. But incredibly enough, the doctor has an entire second bedroom she doesn’t even use, and it’s quiet and comfortable. I sleep so soundly that I’m barely up and showered before Cale arrives the next morning.
Doctor Gregory found some clean clothes for me to wear, and I manage to ease a pair of borrowed sneakers over my battered feet. I’ve been hoping Cale might have forgiven me for lying to him about who I was, but I can tell by the way he barely glances at me that he hasn’t.
I want to tell him how much I missed him, but the words die on my lips when I see his expression. His easy smile is gone and his eyes hold a wariness that makes a lump form in my throat.
He doesn’t waste any time asking how I am, or making small talk. The doctor invites him to sit and he pulls out one of the chairs around the doctor’s cluttered work table and perches on its edge, as thoug
h he’s ready to spring up and leave at any moment.
“Would you like a drink?” the doctor asks him, going into the kitchen. “Juice? Coffee?”
“Nothing, thanks.” And to me, “What makes you think Director Morelle is using a Skin?”
I take one of the other chairs at the table, picking the one closest to him in spite of his hostility, because of the bitter-sweet longing his scent stirs in me. He still smells fresh, like the air in New Triton after it’s rained. It reminds me of training with him, and how amazing it felt to race him up the never-wall, and to rest with him after we finally managed to exhaust ourselves. We used to talk about everything.
If only I’d trusted him enough to tell him my secret.
“She was stronger than a person should be. Much stronger than me.” I study his hands, resting on the table. He has such long, graceful fingers. They’re the hands of a floater, smooth and unscarred.
He snorts. “That doesn’t mean anything. She’s fine-tuned her muscles with nano technology.”
“Her scent is wrong. I didn’t notice when we were in the training room, because there were so many other smells. But when she touched me, I knew. I could tell.”
The doctor comes out of the kitchen with a glass of juice. She exchanges a glance with Cale, and their doubt is obvious.
“We need to contact Sentin,” I say. “He knows what her plans are. He won the contest so he could fight her from the inside.”
Doctor Gregory puts the juice down in front of Cale and sits opposite us, shooting him another doubtful look as she settles on her seat. My heart sinks. They seem to agree that I can’t be trusted.
I need to get William out of Morelle’s army, and get my Leopard Skin back. It’ll be more difficult going up against the director without their help, but if I have to do it by myself, I will.
“Director Morelle is showing off the new Skin Soldiers in the city square today, right?” I ask. “Sentin will be there. If I can figure out a way to get close enough, maybe I can talk to him.”
“I’m going to the square.” Cale still isn’t meeting my eyes. “I need to make contact with some friends from the Fist.”