Drinker was circling desks in silence, still coming at me. He was hunched down, as if ready to do battle. I thought about picking up the photograph and flinging it at him, in expectation that he wouldn't shoot back because if I were dead, he would never know the damage I may have already done. Then I thought, if I ruined this photo, Reston would kill me anyway, so either way, I lose. My eyes quickly drifted over his desk, to a huge, hardcover legal volume, and then to his telephone. I could throw the book, which weighed more, but the fluttering paper might slow the velocity. I saw that on television once. The telephone was sleeker and harder. Of course, there was the general problem of the cord, which might slow down the throw, or even stop it in midair. I knew for a fact, though, that the cords on these phones stretched about a dozen feet, because I often liked to walk around my desk and talk at the same time.
Here goes. Drinker was but fifteen feet from me now, a free throw in the NBA. I waited another second for him to get within range, and in one quick swoop I picked up the phone and fired it at his head. Mind you, in Little League, back when I was twelve, I once pitched a no-hitter, and in the dog park in Georgetown, I am widely considered to have the best arm in the neighborhood, at least among those who are inclined to think about such things.
And I'll be damned if this throw didn't prove it. Drinker ducked, and the phone smashed into his wrist, causing the gun to fly out of his hand and slide underneath a nearby desk. He shook his wrist violently in pain, scanned the floor quickly for the weapon, then looked at me with a hatred I hope never to see again.
I was very temporarily elated, pleased at my decision to choose the phone over the picture frame or the book, and wondered if this was what the nice ad people at ATANDThat had in mind when they coined the slogan
"The right choice."
"You fucking cocksucker," Drinker said. And he started toward me at a faster pace, almost a run, but something more controlled, more determined. Tellingly enough, he seethed the words, "You should have been dead at Congressional."
Um, Peter, I thought to myself, anytime you want to help out here, please feel free. I shot a glance back and saw him at the computer keyboard, and I realized quickly that he was transmitting the story to the Record. Good to know where I stood in the scheme of things.
When I turned, Drinker saw what I was looking at, and that made him panic. He charged me with the force of a linebacker, smartly throwing his forearms into my sore ribs and lifting me up off the ground and onto Reston's desk.
As Drinker started to move past me, I collected myself and dove off the desk for his leg, bringing him down in a heap, the sound of him screaming as he fell on his bad wrist filling the room. I punched him once in the face before he even knew what had hit him. Problem was, that didn't seem to faze him much, or at least it didn't impede his ability to knee me in the ribs and cause a measure of pain that I hadn't thought possible.
As I saw stars, Drinker, free from my grip, raced across the room.
From my perch on the floor, I could see Martin back away from the computer and stand aside. I could see the story quite literally scrolling across the screen, as it does when it is transmitting. When it finally arrives at its destination, the computer beeps twice and the screen says, "File sent without errors." If we could see that now, it would read like poetry.
Drinker arrived at the computer with an absolute cognizance of what was happening. He started pressing keys immediately, hitting what was probably the escape button again and again and again. Still, the story continued to scroll.
Frantic and frustrated-never a good combination-he picked the keyboard up to rip it out of the terminal, in a last, desperate attempt to save himself. Standing now twenty feet or so behind him, I assumed he finally had us, that the force would cause such technological havoc that the whole computer would shut down or explode and the story of Hutchins's past would end up in some netherworld of information. And we, of course, would end up dead.
Martin must have thought the same thing, because at that second, the slightly built Washington bureau chief of the Boston Record lunged for Drinker and shoved a ballpoint pen deep into the side of his neck.
Drinker collapsed, his eyes bugged out. The keyboard tumbled out of his hands and dropped to the floor, and as it did, the monitor beeped twice and the words "File sent without errors" flashed across the screen. Drinker rolled around on the ground, moaning, the pen still protruding out of his neck. Martin leaned on a desk, disheveled, licking a cut on his finger. I stood back in something of a fog, taking it all in. You'll forgive my lack of restraint in thinking for a brief moment, as I looked at Drinker's neck, that the pen is indeed mightier than the sword.
Anyway, Martin casually picked up the telephone and called for an ambulance. I picked up Drinker's gun and told him, "You try to stand up, you're dead." As I stood guard, Martin made a second call, this one to Appleton.
"Yeah, you're right," I heard Martin say. "This really is a pain to have this story move so late at night."
twenty-four
Wednesday, November 8
So how important is truth, anyway? I don't mean small truths, and conversely, small lies, like, "Honey, you look great in that dress."
No, I mean larger, consequential truths, along the lines of "Are you having an affair?" and "Are you really behind me on this?" Sometimes lies hurt. Sometimes truths hurt more.
Of course, in the news business, we don't particularly care, and maybe that's part of both the problem and the majesty of the profession. We aim only for the truth, or what we think is the truth, or what may well prove to be the truth. Of course, all this is seen through the prism of time and competition and the driving need to be different and interesting, even while being mostly the same. When Moose Myers is doing a stand-up from the White House lawn twice an hour for CNN, when the New York Times and the Washington Post have an army of Ivy League graduates swarming for any scrap of news they can push their WASP-ISH
white teeth into, truth can suffer, even in the most indefatigable and valiant pursuit. Facts are molded to beliefs, decisions are rushed on deadline, calls aren't made for lack of time.
And in Washington, in politics, lies aren't told out of convenience, but out of necessity. No candidate or public official in his right mind will stand before a thronging crowd of supporters and yell out,
"Read my lips, I will raise your taxes," or tell a pack of nearly snarling reporters, "I absolutely had sexual relations with that woman." Lies are so ingrained into the Washington culture that sometimes people don't even realize they're telling them. Facts are simply contorted to conform with beliefs, melded to the moment. It's the American way.
So is the truth even important anymore? Do we really need it, in life, in the body politic, or is it just better, easier, to go with what feels good, to tell lies, to accept them, with the understanding that even if lies hurt, the truth too often hurts more? Well, I don't mean to climb too high on a moral pedestal, but I'm still a fan of the truth. Always have been, and expect I always will be. Truth is an immovable foundation. Lies shift and collapse. With truth, even at its most painful, you can address it, build on it, and move on. I happen to have a rather high regard for the public. I believe they can take the truth, decide if it's important, and make sound judgments on the people put before them. Which is why journalism, for all its drawbacks, for all the twits like Appleton who hold too much power, is still a good and decent calling.
Which brings me to the issue of Clayton Hutchins, or Tony Clawson, or Curtis Black, however you want to refer to him. Do I believe in redemption? Yes. I meant it in the Oval Office when I told him there was something uniquely, importantly American about it. I also believe the public had a right to know who he really was and how he got there.
There's something American about that as well. The free flow of information, of truths, is arguably the most significant attribute of a democracy.
Hutchins won the election. He won with 50.4 percent of the popular vote, and took the Electoral Col
lege by a nine-vote margin over Senator Stanny Nichols. On Election Day, the networks devoted full-time on-air coverage to the pursuit of the Record story, quoting liberally from our pages until the early evening, when they were finally able to confirm key aspects on their own. The all-news cable stations nearly burst at the seams. The Internet all but exploded from overuse. The bottom line: the people, the voters, knew what they were doing, and enough of them believed in the concept of redemption. Or maybe they were just happy with the rising stock market. Either way. The president as our first form of entertainment is not a novel concept. As has been said before, they don't limit your miles on Air Force One or your use of the White House by your margin of victory. Hutchins was the president for the next four years.
I think. An independent counsel was named by the attorney general to investigate the president's possible role in Havlicek's death, though truth be known, I don't believe he had any. Not Black's style, not then, not now. The Democratic-controlled Congress appointed a select committee to probe possible election fraud and abuse of power. The ever-dignified vice president, Ted Rockingham, met reporters on the White House driveway and pleaded with the country to give Hutchins the benefit of any doubts. Whether he'd get it, whether he'd need it, who really knew.
These were the thoughts I was thinking as I kicked my feet up on my desk after another difficult deadline on Wednesday night, the day after the election. It was the end of a whirlwind day of Washington events, capped by an Oval Office address delivered by Hutchins in which he portrayed his own redemption as being part of the American dream he had long espoused, the American way. Now, he said, it was time to heal, both himself and the country, and he would like to see the job through.
Ironically, while Hutchins, the admitted criminal, spoke, Drinker, the law enforcement agent, was being detained under heavy guard at a military hospital just outside Washington, facing a battery of federal and local charges, among them conspiracy to commit murder. You know what they say in Washington: it's never the crime, always the cover-up.
Dozens of FBI agents were working with D.c. police to try to determine who actually fired the shots out at Congressional. They had a body.
They just needed an identity to go along with it.
And me? I've been running crazy with the story. We did a takeout on the early years of the real Clayton Hutchins, the only child of deceased parents who died by his own hand, all alone, in his early twenties, only to see his name and childhood resurrected by a man who would become president of the United States. I received an invitation from Hutchins's secretary to join him for dinner on Friday night. That would be interesting. Meantime, every television interviewer from the smallest cable channel to the biggest network has tried to book me for their show. To each, I say, I don't talk, I write.
And television is the least of it. That day, a Hollywood producer called me at work, trying to buy my story for a substantial six-figure sum.
"Is Ernest Borgnine still alive?" I asked him.
"Um, I'm not really sure, why?" he replied.
"When you find out, give me a call," I said, and hung up.
I haven't heard back from him, which is just as well.
Well, on this Wednesday night, after deadline passed, after the bureau cleared out, after even Martin left, I wandered over to Steve Havlicek's desk, sat in his swivel chair, and ran my hands over some of his things, which were still laid out on his desk exactly as he had left them. He had a mug with the words "World's Best Dad" on it. He had several legal pads scattered about. He had a Cross pen with his name on it, which I thought was unusual. I had never seen it before.
Inside his top drawer, he had a pound bag of peanut MandMore's, opened and mostly gone. I pulled a box out of the supply closet and packed his stuff slowly and carefully into it, leaving out the autopsy report on the mystery man who fired those first shots at Hutchins and me.
Good taste prevails once again. I wrote out a quick note saying,
"Margaret, we all miss Steve more than we can ever say. This story is happening because of him. Very best, Jack." I dropped the note in the box, sealed it up, and left it for Barbara to ship to Boston.
As I walked out, I had the feeling of accomplishment, so much so that after I got home, I walked down to the cellar and pulled out a couple of folded-up moving boxes. I climbed the stairs to the second floor, hesitated for a moment in the hallway, then pushed open the door to the nursery.
Inside, slowly and surely, I took several stuffed animals out of the crib, removed the tiny cotton blankets and sheets and folded them up, placed them in a box, then lugged it down to the cellar. Back in the nursery, as Baker sprawled out on the Winnie-the-Pooh rug where I had slept a couple of weeks before, I unpacked the toy chest, putting each stuffed bear and dog carefully into one of the boxes. I threw away the dried-out jar of wet wipes. I took the few pairs of infant pajamas out of the drawers and put them into the box. I was picking up a Gund bear on top of the bureau when I heard a knock on the door downstairs.
Baker, of course, was thrilled. He limped down ahead of me. I pulled the door open and there stood Samantha Stevens, a special agent with the FBI. It must have been raining out, because her hair was matted to her head. She held a bottle of wine beside her.
"I got your message this morning," she said, standing on my stoop.
"Thanks again for the apology."
I said, "Don't mention it. I got your message this afternoon saying I'm not such a jackass."
She smiled mischievously and said, "You're not."
"Come in."
She stretched out her arm and handed me the bottle of wine. "Peace offering," she said. I hadn't seen her since Havlicek's funeral. I hadn't spoken to her-a couple of passing conversations aside-since we kissed on the sidewalk outside of Kinkead's.
As I took the bottle, she pointed to my hand, which still held the blond teddy bear, and said, "New toy?"
I didn't laugh. "Old toy, actually," I replied.
She quickly understood what I meant and studied my face for a moment while I studied hers. We were both quiet, though I'm not sure if it was out of awkwardness or relief. She followed me into the kitchen, and I put the bear down on the counter to open the bottle of wine.
When I turned around to face her, she drew close in that way she does, hardly seeming to move at all.
She put her face against mine and kissed me on the lips, not passionately, but warmly, then she pulled away, her eyes closed for a second, then open, looking into mine. That's when I kissed her, bringing my hand up to caress her wet hair. It was a long kiss, again, not so much passionate, but warm, strangely familiar, so natural.
She said, barely moving her lips, "I missed you." I glanced at the dog lying on the floor behind her, at the stuffed bear sitting on the countertop. I stared into her eyes for a few silent seconds and said,
"I missed you too."
And at that moment, a future seemed to emerge from the past, like life from ashes, like wine from old grapes, something with a bit of whimsy and so much more.
"Good," she said. "Don't be a jackass again."
"I'm promising you," I replied. "I won't."
Acknowledgments
Special thanks to Ande Zelleman, my first and best reader and the one who encouraged me the earliest and hardest to write something other than the daily news.
To Richard Abate and the elite team at International Creative Management, who gave me equal doses of encouragement and expertise.
To George Lucas of Pocket Books. His talent with words is exceeded only by his way with people. The book wouldn't be this book without his deft hand, his vivid imagination, and his seemingly blind faith in the writer fortunate enough to pen these pages.
To my sister Carol, who helped me with the medical scenarios contained within, to my sister Colleen, who didn't so much encourage as provoke me into this endeavor, to my mother, who's always been there for everything else.
To the great people of The Boston Globe; especially Michael
Larkin, who hired me too many years ago and still edits me now; Matt Storin, the editor who has entrusted me with the greatest jobs I will ever know; David Shribman, the wisest and warmest of bureau chiefs in the city-Washington, D.c. - that has gotten all too cold. Thanks as well to Greg Moore and Helen Donovan for their confidence. It's a crazy, wonderful way to make a living, this business of newspapers, and there's no better place to do it than the Globe.
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The Incumbent Page 36