She popped a teabag in a mug and poured in boiling water, a small glimmer of optimism emerging on her horizon. She squished the teabag against the side of the mug, not relishing black tea but in the absence of fresh milk it would have to do.
It was going to take a lot of energy to sort through what had to be done and a list of all the practical things she needed to do ran through her mind at dizzying speed. The enormity of her future lying ahead of her now fully hit her. It was all down to her and she was going to have to make it work. She had a meeting this afternoon with the solicitor and she intended to go over every single detail. She wanted to make sure Colin never had a reason in the future to come back and claim she had kept anything from him. And so, rallying her strength, she shrugged off her jacket and armed with her tea and a pen and paper went to make a list of things to do.
****
Two days later Molly was exhausted. She had done as much as she could in the time she’d had. The meetings with her solicitor and the estate agent had gone well and she’d even looked at a couple of rental flats in the West End. One in particular had caught her eye, overlooking the Botanic Gardens and for the first time she could picture herself living there on her own.
She’d emailed Colin, letting him know how much the house had sold for, and he remained as resolutely uninterested as before.
At the end of two days she couldn’t say she was happy exactly but by the time she drove to the airport to collect her parents this morning, she at least felt satisfied with what she had achieved.
Her parents’ flight had been delayed and so Molly had paced the arrivals lounge, consuming too much coffee and indulging in some people-watching.
When Brian and Carol Adams finally arrived, Molly somehow managed to hold herself together, avoiding her mother’s assessing gaze and busying herself with their bags and comments on how well they looked – which they did. Life in the Portuguese sunshine was clearly agreeing with them.
The car journey back to St Andrews was long. The roads were jammed with cars full of keen spectators flocking to see the golf. Molly kept up a stream of banal conversation, anything to avoid mentioning Colin and the divorce.
When they’d finally stepped through the door, West Sands Guest House had erupted into hugs and shouts from the children who were giddy with excitement at the arrival of their grandparents. That had been followed by a noisy and talkative dinner as they all caught up with each other over a delivery of pizzas.
Earlier, her father had taken her aside. Never one for excessive words, he had held her at arm’s length, studying her for a few moments before pronouncing she was going to be fine. He’d asked her a few financial details to make sure everything was in order and seemed impressed by the way she’d handled it.
‘You’re going to have speak to your mother, you know,’ he had said sagely.
‘I know,’ Molly sighed. ‘But I’m exhausted tonight.’ Which wasn’t a lie and so, making her excuses, she escaped the melee of the house to seek refuge in her room. She was bone tired and, to top it all, thought she might have a cold.
She sank gratefully onto the bed, thinking how much she was going to miss this lovely room. Her eyes were almost closing when the knock came.
‘Come in,’ she called, knowing exactly who it was.
Molly sat up as her mum came in, balancing two cups and a plate piled with slices of cake. Looking effortlessly stylish in white trousers and a checked shirt, Molly had to remind herself that her mother was over sixty. She also had a look in her eye that told Molly the time had come to talk.
‘I thought you might be hungry – you didn’t seem to eat much at dinner.’ She studied her daughter, concern etched on her face.
‘I’ve got a bit of a cold, that’s all,’ Molly reassured her.
‘Anna made these with Lily earlier.’ Carol inclined her head towards the cakes as she took a seat beside Molly. ‘They’re delicious so you need to eat some before I demolish the lot.’ She made a face, patting her flat stomach.
‘You don’t need to worry, Mum. I was just thinking how good you look.’
‘Thank you, darling.’
Tempted by the cherry and almond slices, Molly took one from the plate. ‘Where’s Dad?’ she asked.
‘Last I saw him he had just started playing Monopoly with the kids. I think he could be gone for some time,’ she chuckled.
‘You’re right, these are good.’ Luckily Molly swallowed a mouthful of cake just in time before succumbing to a fit of sneezing.
‘Bless you!’ Molly took the tissue her mother handed her, marvelling at her ability to produce a clean tissue in any situation as if by magic.
‘Thanks,’ Molly sniffed, suddenly very grateful to have her mother here.
‘So, are you ready to tell me why you’ve been avoiding me?’
Molly met her mother’s eyes and under the full beam of her scrutiny, fell silent. She couldn’t deny it, she’d been avoiding her and now realised how ridiculous it sounded. She looked away, shrugging uselessly.
‘I have been worried about you, you know,’ she heard her say now. ‘Your father had to stop me more than once coming to see you. But he’s a wise man who knows his daughter well so I listened to him and took his advice.’
‘Which was?’
‘To leave you alone as you wanted – to give you time.’
Molly looked down. ‘I didn’t mean to cut you off. I suppose I just wanted to deal with it by myself.’
‘That’s what Dad said, that you needed time to work through it.’ Her mother paused before continuing. ‘But you do know you could have come to me anytime, don’t you?’
Molly blanched at hearing the hurt in her mother’s voice. In the wake of Colin leaving she’d been so busy wallowing in her own misery and shame, she hadn’t thought of how that might make her mother feel.
‘Oh, Mum, of course I do. And that means so much to me. It’s just…’ She picked at the tissue in her hand. ‘I was so ashamed.’
Carol tilted her head, frowning. ‘Ashamed? Why on earth would you be ashamed?’
Molly took a breath as she recalled the days and weeks she had spent coming to terms with the end of her marriage, trying to find the words to explain.
She’d put it off for so many reasons. Reasons that made sense to her at the time but now, seeing the look of love and concern on her mother’s face, she was having difficulty explaining them.
While she knew plenty of people whose parents tried to cajole them into making certain choices, Molly’s never had. That they had trusted her in some way had put more pressure on her to make the right decisions for herself. She remembered one particular wine-fuelled evening after Colin had left, even blaming her mother for not warning her that this could happen.
‘When I married, I wanted what you and Dad have. I thought it would be easy. You met someone, you fell in love. Then you married and lived happily ever after.’ She let out a sigh. ‘But after a while, Colin and I started to grow apart – even before his affair. I worried we had married too quickly but I was scared to admit I had made a mess of things.’
‘You haven’t made a mess of anything.’
‘I felt like I let you down in some way. As if I was incapable of finding love like you and Dad. And Stuart and Anna.’
‘Oh, Molly, you should never have thought that.’ She shook her head sadly. ‘Although I do admit, sometimes I did worry that Colin wasn’t the right man for you.’
Molly looked up. ‘You did? Why didn’t you say anything?’
‘I do recall telling you not to rush into anything. But I would never tell you how to live your life.’ She pressed her lips together for moment. ‘I remember when I met your father.’
Molly nodded patiently, having heard the story many times of how her parents met. Molly’s mother had been living in London when she’d met Molly’s father, an engineer working on a huge rail project in the capital. After his job had finished they had married and returned to her father’s beloved city of Gla
sgow.
‘It was like nothing I’d ever felt before. Everything fell into place. He made me feel whole, like I’d been looking for something and didn’t know what it was until I found him.’ She paused for a moment, fidgeting with her bracelet. ‘And you have to remember that good can come from bad.’
Molly narrowed her eyes watching her mother. There was a feeling of something unsaid hanging between them. ‘Mum?’
‘There’s something I need to tell you.’ Molly felt a ripple of alarm, hoping nothing was wrong with one of her parents.
‘I don’t suppose there’s an easy way to say this so I’ll just come out and say it.’ Carol swallowed. ‘Before I met your father, I … I was married. To someone else.’
Molly blinked as she felt her heart drop to somewhere near her feet. She couldn’t have heard correctly. ‘What do you mean? Why…I don’t understand.’
‘I married a man I didn’t love,’ her mother stated simply with a shrug. ‘My parents were good people – old-fashioned, working class, who just wanted the best for me. So when I met Simon they were beside themselves. He was well-spoken and well-educated – a man with prospects they called him. My mother’s mantra was always “love doesn’t pay the bills” and I remember her telling me I’d be a fool to let him go. I married with my head, not my heart. It didn’t last a year.’ She looked at Molly. ‘And that’s why I never said anything to you. I was determined I would never interfere with your choices the way my parents had done.’
Molly stood up and paced the floor, not capable of saying much. Her head was swimming and she felt as if the foundations of her life had shifted in some way. She felt a swell of anger grow inside her and turned to face her mother.
‘Is there anything else you haven’t told me?’ she demanded.
Her mother shook her head. ‘No, of course not.’
‘Does Stuart know?’
‘No. But now that I’ve told you, I’ll find the right moment to tell him as well.’
Molly frowned. ‘Why didn’t you tell me before?’
‘There was never a reason to, it was never relevant. I’m telling you now because I hope it will help you. Like me, you married with the best intentions but that doesn’t guarantee it will work. But the truth is that you are more than your divorce. You’re a kind and wonderful person whether you are divorced or not.’
Molly nodded mutely. Growing up she had always taken for granted her parents’ quiet love and devotion. She looked out of the window, her mind racing through all the years of living with her parents to see if she could find any evidence of what she had just found out. But there was nothing.
After a contemplative silence Molly sat down beside her mother again. They regarded each other and slowly comprehension dawned on Molly that what her mother had told her didn’t change anything. She and her father had gone on to have a happy life together and that was all that mattered. She swallowed down the lump in her throat and smiled ‘Thanks for telling me, Mum.’
‘You deserve love and happiness and I know you will find it.’
Molly looked down at the now shredded tissue in her hand. ‘I thought maybe I had.’ Her voice was so quiet Molly wasn’t sure if she had actually spoken the words out loud.
Her mother looked at her questioningly.
‘But well, it was complicated.’ God, she hated that expression but honestly couldn’t think of another way to describe her feelings for Tom.
Her mother spoke gently. ‘If it’s meant to be, then the confusion, the doubts will all be brushed away. Just trust in yourself. Don’t be scared, Molly.’
Molly looked up, her eyes wide with tears, finally letting herself be lost in her mother’s embrace.
Chapter Sixteen
The next day Molly found Stuart sitting at the kitchen table with a pot of coffee, a mound of buttery toast and a pile of scholarly looking documents in front of him.
‘Good morning.’
‘Morning. Where is everyone?’ Molly asked looking around.
‘Mum and Dad have gone to watch the day’s play at the Old Course and Anna and the kids left with them to go and do more shopping for tonight.’
‘More? Don’t we have enough already?’
The kitchen was already groaning with food and drink. Deciding to make the most of the continued good weather and having everyone at West Sands, Anna was planning a barbecue for that evening.
‘Apparently not,’ he said good-naturedly refilling his coffee cup. ‘So what are you up to today?’
‘I’m going to take a walk and see Judy at the inn.’
‘Well, as long as you’re back in time to see my barbecue skills in action.’
‘How could I possibly miss that?’
After sitting with Stuart for a while, Molly walked to the inn and as she entered, remembered the very first time she came here. It was all so familiar to her now but just as enchanting. A sumptuous display of purple freesia and white roses sat in a large vase on the desk, their floral scent filling the air.
Judy came bustling out from behind the desk. ‘Molly!’ she exclaimed.
‘How are you, Judy?’
‘I’m very well. Have you got time to sit and have a drink?’
‘Naturally.’ Molly smiled.
Soon they were installed in sofas in the lounge and Molly eyed Judy as she brought over glasses of passion-fruit juice for them. She looked a different woman from the one she had seen the night of the flooded bathroom. Her perfectly poised countenance was fully restored and there was a definite glow about her.
‘How’s your bathroom now – is there anything you need help with?’
‘It’s all sorted now, thank you.’ Molly noticed Judy’s expression soften. ‘Harry came round the next day and helped me. He brought a dehumidifier so everything’s dried out now. I’ll have to think about new flooring but it’s certainly not as bad as I originally feared.’
‘That’s good, I’m pleased.’ smiled Molly smiled.
‘Harry wasn’t the only visitor I had that day,’ Judy continued.
‘Oh?’
‘Greg Ritchie came to see me the day after the tournament. He’d heard all about it being a success and obviously decided it would be a good time to ask again if I’d be interested in selling. We had a little chat and some of what he said got me thinking.’
Molly’s heart sank, she knew what was coming. Judy was going to sell the inn.
‘He pointed out that there was so much potential for the inn. But it needs someone with energy and vision. Someone younger than me.’
‘You’re not old, Judy.’ Molly frowned.
‘That’s kind of you to say. But I’m certainly not young. I admit he caught me at a weak moment and I’ve thought a lot about what he said.’
‘So you’ve decided to sell?’ Molly gulped. She didn’t know quite why it saddened her so much. She was sure Greg Ritchie would do a good job, he was an experienced hotelier. But this had been Judy’s dream with her husband. There was a story behind it and that made it special.
‘Like I said, I need someone with energy and vision.’
Molly looked down and nodded silently.
‘Which is why I’d like to know if you would be interested in coming to work here?’
Molly’s head snapped up. ‘Me?’
Judy took a sip of her drink, giving Molly a few moments before slowly setting her glass back down.
‘You’ve probably noticed Harry and I have become quite friendly recently. It turns out he used to run a specialist travel agency and we have a lot in common.’
Molly smiled. ‘That’s nice for you.’
‘We both lost the loves of our lives and know that we’ll never replace those people. But we also both know we’re at the stage when we need to make the most of our time now. We get on well and would like to spend more time together.’
Molly could easily understand that and thought they would make such a lovely couple.
‘So I have a proposition for you. Harry has a brother i
n New Zealand who he’d like to visit but he hasn’t wanted to make the trip on his own. I haven’t had a break from this place since George died so I’d like to go with him. Our plan would be to go for a couple of months. I’d only go if I could find the right person to manage the inn. And I’d like that person to be you.’
Molly opened her mouth and closed it. The offer was so unexpected and her mind wheeled trying to take it in. Part of her was very tempted and wanted to jump at the chance there and then. Staying here, working at the inn…so much about it sounded appealing. But there was also a voice of caution in her head and she knew she had to think carefully before making a decision.
As if reading her mind, Judy told her she didn’t want an answer straight away. ‘I know you have things to consider. But if you decided to stay, you could live in my flat for the time I was away and when I come back we can see how things are. I saw how you dealt with the tournament and I’d be very keen for you to develop some of your ideas. I have every confidence in you.’
Molly gave her head a small shake. ‘It’s an amazing offer. And I’m honoured that you would trust me. I’ll think about it very seriously and let you know, if that’s okay?’
‘Of course.’
After she left the inn, Molly walked back to the guest house in a slight daze as she mulled over Judy’s offer. So much about it was right and she would relish the challenge of working and developing her ideas at the inn. The day of the tournament had proved to Molly what she had suspected. The inn had heaps of potential especially with the golf facility nearby. Greg Ritchie clearly recognised it too and if he could make it work, then why couldn’t Molly? She could already feel her imagination alight with ideas.
But then she felt herself land back in the real world with a thump. How could she possibly consider working there with Tom being so close by? She blew out a long sigh, feeling a muddle of confusion and contradiction weighing her down.
By the time she got back to the guest house, preparations were already underway for the barbecue and she went to her room, taking a few minutes to compose herself, determined not to let any of her inner turmoil spill over into this evening. She dressed for comfort, choosing faded jeans and an oversized pink jumper. She twisted her hair into a ponytail, soothed something that promised instant radiance onto her skin and headed downstairs.
Summer at West Sands Guest House Page 15