by Claire Adams
The change happened in an instant. One moment he was soft and slow, and the next he was plunging down into me hard and fast, taking my breath away as I cried with relief. I could feel every stroke, and I arched my back and pushed my hips up to meet every forceful thrust. We were like a well-oiled machine, and we found a rhythm that made me forget all about Dominic and my father and let the force of our desire engulf us. Brian reached down between us and found my clit as he slammed down into me over and over again, and for a moment, I felt as if I had left my body. The rhythm of our hips, his fingers stroking my clit, and our lips pressed together moved us closer and closer to the edge of orgasm.
The sweat ran down his nose and dropped onto my face as he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me tightly against him, trying to find a way to dive deeper. My hands gripped his arms as I felt the first wave moving through my body. I cried out, “Yes! Yes! Yes!” as I felt his fingers moving faster, and as the orgasm enveloped me, I felt him drive harder and deeper as he raced to catch up with me. Soon he was groaning as he reached his own blissful release, and we held tight to each other as the waves of pleasure washed over us.
Many minutes later, Brian opened his eyes and found me watching him. “Oh, sorry!” he exclaimed as he quickly rolled off of me, pulled the covers down on the bed, and urged me to get underneath them before returning to lay by my side. “Can’t have you getting cold!”
“You must have been a Boy Scout,” I laughed.
“No, ma’am,” he replied. “I’m not much for joining things, and I’ve only ever been a Navy man!”
I laughed again as I snuggled in next to him. It felt good to be safely wrapped in his strong arms. I pressed my head against his chest and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat soon lulled me into a deep and dreamless sleep.
PROTECTOR #2
The next morning, slowly emerging from sleep, I was confused by my unfamiliar surroundings. As I lazily stretched my arms, my hand touched the body next to me and panic set in. What did I do? It all came flooding into my brain as I remembered the way I’d confessed everything to Brian. I’d told him all my secrets and shared all of my shame about my relationship with Dominic, and then I replayed the kiss and everything that followed.
Oh no! I flipped over and looked at him sleeping so peacefully next to me, and was horrified that I’d let him so far into my life. Now he had all the information he needed about what happened between me and Dominic, and he would tell my father everything! I’d spent the past year figuring out how to get away from a man who had so totally controlled my life that he’d almost killed me, and then I’d let the man that my father hired to control my life into my bed and here I was again, right back to where I started. Plus, he didn’t even know me. I’d spent one day with him, and look where this had ended up. I was making bad choices again, and I needed to eliminate these men from my life, not allow them more access. I was disgusted with myself for being so weak and needy.
I rolled over and watched Brian as he slept. He was restless, and his face never seemed to stop moving. He looked as if he were acting out his dreams, and occasionally he’d yelp or mumble something unintelligible. He obviously had issues, but what they were was not my problem. My issue was to get rid of the bodyguard and not have my father prying into every area of my life when all he cared about was his own reputation.
I’m going to have to cut this off as quickly and painlessly as possible, I thought as I watched Brian sleep. The memory of his hands on my body and the careful way he’d touched my skin made me shiver, but I knew that if I got too attached to him now, it would just make it harder to let go later. I had to do it; for both of us. He didn’t need me to complicate his life any more than I needed him to complicate mine. I braced myself and set the plan in motion. First thing first, I grabbed my discarded clothes from the floor and put them on before sitting back down on the edge of the bed farthest away from where he was sleeping.
“Brian,” I said softly as I shook him. “Brian, wake up.”
It only took a few seconds for him to hear my wakeup call, and when he did, he bolted up out of bed, poised for attack. “Ready, SIR!” he yelled.
“Brian, it’s me, Ava,” I said quietly—and a little shocked. I was afraid that he wasn’t fully awake yet, and in this state of readiness, I was worried that he’d mistake me for someone else. “Good morning, Mr. Bodyguard.”
“Huh?” he rubbed his eyes and shook his head before looking over at me, and in a voice still groggy with sleep, he said, “Wait, what?”
“It’s time to get up. I’ve got class,” I said in an all-business tone. “We need to get going.”
“Ava, are you okay?” he said in a tone that conveyed extreme concern. “Is something wrong?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I replied. “I just need to get going. I’ve got a big day on campus and I need to pick up my books before we head over to the quad.”
When he reached across the bed and grabbed my hand, I quickly withdrew and got up off the bed. I began anxiously pacing the floor as I tried not to lose my cool.
“Ava,” he began.
“No, don’t,” I said stopping him cold. “It’s fine. Last night was nice, but it was a big mistake. We should not have done that. You work for my father, and I need to focus on my schoolwork, not on being romanced by my personal protection agent.”
“But I don’t think —” he interrupted.
“You might not, but I do,” I replied. “Last night was a mistake that we should both forget. You are here to protect me from that whacko, Dominic, and I need to focus on my classes.”
Brian started to object, then stopped and looked away. “Fine,” he mumbled. “I’ll stay on my side of the suite and maintain constant vigilance.”
I couldn’t tell if he was mocking me or being serious, but for the time being, I didn’t care. I’d dealt with the situation, and now it was time to get to class.
“Get dressed,” I said. “I don’t want to be late to class.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied with a snappy salute before quickly pulling on his clothes and heading out to the main room.
I felt a twinge of sadness as I watched him walk through the door, but I took a deep breath and pushed it aside.
*****
On the ride back to the dorm, Brian rolled down the window and let the breeze blow through the SUV. He fiddled with the stereo for a while before turning it off and plunging the interior into silence. I looked out the passenger side window at the buildings flying by and wondered how I’d wound up here. I’d made some poor decisions, for certain, but somehow, it didn’t all add up.
“You know, Ava, what we did last night isn’t something to be ashamed of,” Brian’s voice cut through my silent thoughts.
“I know,” I replied.
“It’s totally normal for people who’ve been abused to transfer feelings from one situation to another,” he continued. “It’s perfectly understandable if you feel uncomfortable, but I promise you that I didn’t use you last night.”
“What are you talking about?” I snapped.
“I’m saying that I didn’t use you,” he continued. “And it wasn’t my intent to make you feel used.”
“I don’t feel used in the least.” I was getting progressively more irritated with his attempt at playing therapist. “In fact, I don’t feel anything.”
“Oh, I see.” His voice sounded both hurt and patronizing, and I wondered how that was possible.
“Look, I’m not saying it was bad or that I think you did anything wrong,” I backpedaled, and tried to soothe his obviously hurt feelings. “I’m just saying that I appreciate you being there for me last night. It was kind of you, and I’m grateful that you were there, but I don’t feel more than that and I’d like to keep it professional from now on.”
“Sure,” came the terse reply.
“But really, thank you,” I said quietly. “You were really great.”
My backhanded compliment was met with a stony silence that laste
d until we arrived at the dorm.
*****
After I’d stopped in my room to change my clothes and grab my books, Brian and I walked toward the quad in silence. I felt bad that I’d basically shot him down in the car when he was trying so hard to be nice, but I couldn’t see any good coming of us continuing down the path of some fake romance that was brought about by my situation. All I wanted was to let him do his job so I could walk around campus safe from the fear of being attacked by Dominic and his illusions about our future.
I looked over my shoulder for the third time, and caught Brian doing what he had been doing for the past 24 hours; scanning the landscape, looking for threats to my safety. I sighed as I looked ahead, trying to find Lara and Jessie in the crowd on the quad. When I finally located them, I waved and walked quickly towards the spot where the two of them had camped out with their books and computers. Neither one was studying, but they’d managed to set a very convincing scene.
“What are you two doing?” I demanded to know.
“We’re studying,” Jessie whined as she sipped a diet soda as her textbook lay open on the ground, well out of reach.
“Oh, really?” I laughed. “It doesn’t exactly look like A+ central here with all your stuff spread out across the quad.”
“Hey, we’re taking it all in and thinking about the most efficient method of processing the information,” Lara said as she looked at me with wide, innocent eyes.
“You’re so full of it!” I laughed harder as I dropped down and sat next to her. “Do you have the Psych study guide?”
“Yeah, it’s somewhere here,” Lara dug into her backpack and searched for the guide, triumphantly holding it over her head once she’d found it.
“Where’s the hottie?” Jessie asked as she sat up and leaned on one elbow, scanning the quad for Brian.
“Dunno, somewhere around here,” I said as I waved my hand distractedly. “I’m sure he’s casing the quad, making sure I won’t trip over an errant blade of grass or a soda can or something.”
“Oh, there he is!” Jessie yelled excitedly. “Brian! Hi! How are you today?”
“Jessie!” I hissed. “Shut the hell up, would you? Jeez, he’s supposed to be stealth!”
“Oh, I’m sorry. My bad,” Jessie looked genuinely contrite as she took another sip of her soda and then lay back down with her face toward the late morning sun.
“You’re a piece of work, you know that, don’t you?” I laughed. No one could stay made at Jessie for long.
“Hey, did you do any studying last night?” Lara asked.
“Um, no, not really,” I stammered. “I was…um…a little busy.”
“With the hottie bodyguard?” Jessie piped up.
“My God, would you drop it with the hottie bodyguard thing?” I said in exasperation. “I mean, seriously!”
“Sorry, Ava,” Jessie again offered her requisite apologetic pout.
“So, is it all okay, then?” Lara asked.
“Yeah, he’s fine,” I replied as I turned and looked to see where Brian was stationed. He was sitting on a bench not too far away from where the girls were sprawled out. He looked like he was just another college student enjoying the sunny day, but I could see him constantly scanning the area as he made sure I wasn’t in any danger. “He’s kind of growing on me, you know?”
“Sure, sure,” Lara said as she stared at Brian. “Maybe my dad will hire him to follow me around next! I’d love to have him protecting my assets!”
“Lara!” I scolded as I laughed at her horrible euphemism. “You’re terrible!”
“I know,” she shrugged. “But it’s so much fun! Now, let’s get on with this study guide, shall we?”
The three of us settled in and quizzed each other for over an hour. By the end of the study session, I felt like I had a pretty good handle on the exam material, and was confident that I’d pass with at least a B. As we packed up our books, I over at Brian just in time to see an attractive coed in super short shorts approach him and began to flirt. He smiled and chatted with her for a moment, but then made an excuse and moved away as if he saw someone he knew. I followed his line of sight, and for a moment, my breath caught in my throat. Dominic?
Brian walked by the guy and then turned and shook his head enough for me to be able to exhale. He really was looking out for me on so many levels I wasn’t aware of, and although it had only been one day, I was now acutely aware of his presence. And I actually kind of liked it, but I wasn’t about to tell him that.
“Do you want to go grab some lunch?” Jessie was asking as I came back to earth.
“No, I’m really tired. I did a late night run last night, and then I didn’t sleep very well,” I said, only half-lying. “I’m going to go grab a nap.”
“Okay, well, don’t forget about the Chem study group tonight,” Lara reminded me.
“Oh crap, that’s right!” I’d forgotten all about it, partly because of the drama with Dominic, but partly because I already had an A in the class and wasn’t too worried about passing the exam. “I’ll see how I feel later. I might not make it if I’m too tired.”
“Mmmmm hmmm,” Lara said as she raised an eyebrow. “Too tired for Chem? That’s a new one.”
“Oh Lara, will you please shut up about the bodyguard?” I laughed, but in the back of my mind I was wondering about him, too.
*****
Brian maintained his distance on the walk back to my dorm room, but my brain was racing as I tried to think of what I could say to bridge the distance that I’d created. I knew he had been genuinely trying to help when he’d brought up the issue of abuse, but I didn’t think of myself as the typical abused woman —as if there was one in the first place. I just thought of my problems with Dominic as the problems that most couples faced, and when Brian shed light on them, my sense of who I was and who I’d become had been shaken. As we walked, I recited in my head what I would say once we were back in my dorm room.
“Come on in,” I said as I unlocked the door and pushed it open.
“Nah, I’ll just hang out here in the hallway,” Brian casually replied as he glanced down at his phone.
“Seriously?” Exasperation tinged my voice. “Just come inside and hang out. I’m not going to do anything except study, and hanging out in the hall will just creep out my floormates.”
“Fine,” he grumbled as he entered the room and dropped down in the big chair by the window.
I looked at him for a moment, and then rolled my eyes before I sat down at my desk and pulled out my books. The room was so silent that I could hear my thoughts much too clearly, and after 15 minutes I gave up on the books and turned toward Brian.
“Look, I’m sorry about this morning,” I started.
“It’s no big deal,” he shrugged as he looked out the window.
“Yeah, it kind of is; well, to me, anyway,” I continued. “I didn’t mean to shut you out when you were trying to help me, and I didn’t mean to shut you down after last night.”
“It’s not a big deal, I’ve been through worse,” he mumbled.
“What?”
“Nothing,” he replied.
“I’m just saying, it was silly of me to shut you out when you were only trying to help me.” I was desperately struggling to find a way to explain how important he’d already become to me, and I was making a mess of it. “I like you, Brian.”
“I like you, too, Ava,” he parroted back.
“Are you mocking me?” I asked incredulously.
“Whatever gave you that idea?” he grinned.
“Oh, you are so maddening!” I laughed as I balled up a piece of paper and threw it at him.
“I’m maddening? I’m maddening, you say?” he retorted. “I’ve got nothing on you, lady.”
“Oh! Is that right?” I laughed harder as I wadded up another piece of paper and threw it at him.
“Hey, hey, hey! Watch it, would ya?” he laughed as he pitched the paper ball back at me.
“Listen �
�” I began and was interrupted by the sound of my phone ringing in my purse. I quickly dug it out and looked at the screen. I didn’t recognize the number, but something told me to answer it, so I did. “Hello?”
“Are you alone?” the voice on the other end slithered into my ear, causing me to almost drop the phone.
“I’m—” I stammered as I looked across the room at Brian. He tipped his head in confusion, and then seeing the terrified look on my face, mouthed a single word, Dominic? I nodded frantically as I continued to listen.
“Why are you dating that meathead, Ava?” he demanded. “You know that those kinds of guys are not at all your type. They can’t do the things I can do for you.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Dominic?” I said as the anger rose in my chest. “It’s none of your business!”
“Oh, but it is my business,” he hissed. “Everything about you is my business, if I’m going to get you back. Tell me, Kitten, why do you let such a boring gym rat follow you around? What’s he got that I don’t?”
“Well, manners and a brain, for one!” I shouted. The laughter that came from the other end of the line pissed me off, but Brian motioned to me to cool down while he texted into headquarters to have them figure out where the call was coming from.
“You’re hilarious, Kitten; absolutely hilarious!” he laughed. “That frat boy has nothing that I couldn’t give you 10 times over, and yet, you keep him around. Don’t you remember how our life used to be? How you spent your days and nights in luxury and wanted for nothing? Now you’re trapped in a tiny little dorm room with a guy who probably makes minimum wage bagging groceries. How far you’ve fallen.”
“Listen, you jerk, stop calling me that,” I growled in to the phone. “He’s a hundred times the man you could ever hope to be, so shut the hell up and leave me alone! Don’t you get it, Dominic? We are done! I don’t want you; not now, and not ever! Leave. Me. Alone!”