by Cali MacKay
Imogen managed a smile, though she’d clearly been caught off guard. “Of course. Come in.” Rowan couldn’t help but notice how slight Imogen’s Scottish lilt was-as if she’d spent many a year abroad, or had put in the effort to wrangle it into submission.
They were escorted to the living room, and once seated, Rowan took several more deep breaths to try and calm her nerves. She looked at Imogen, easily seeing the young woman who’d been standing next to her mother in the photo.
Imogen gave her a kind smile. “How is your mother? I hope she is well.”
Angus gave Rowan’s hand a squeeze as she tried to keep the emotion from her voice. “She passed away a year ago.”
Imogen’s hand went to her lips. “Oh. I’m so sorry, dear. She was a lovely woman and will be missed.”
“Thank you.” Rowan tried to muster her courage to discuss the reason she came, but needed a moment more.
“You’re the spitting image of her, you know. And just as beautiful.” Imogen looked at Rowan as if searching her memory for glimpses of the past. “So, how can I be of help?”
“I know this is hardly the conversation to have when you first meet someone, but I hope you’ll understand. I’m looking for my father. I don’t know who he is, but if you were my mother’s friend and roommate, I’m hoping you know who she was dating when she became pregnant.” Rowan tried to calm her fraying nerves, but so much hinged on Imogen and what she knew or remembered. Every muscle in her body was taut with tension as she waited for an answer, her heart thrashing against her ribcage.
“I remember she was engaged to a nice lad from her home town, but if she was seeing someone else, I wasn’t aware of it, I’m afraid.” Her eyes darted from Rowan to Angus in apology. “I will say, there were always lads lingering about with the hope of catching her attention. She was so pretty and such a sweet girl… more than one man had fallen for her charms, despite her betrothal.”
“Is there anyone you can remember? Any name at all? Something she said that might give us a clue to his identity?” Desperation had her blinking back tears.
“I’m so sorry. I wish I could be of more help. I’ll continue to give it some thought. Perhaps something will come to me.”
They stayed a bit longer, but with disappointment weighing heavy on Rowan’s heart, she didn’t want to linger. Making sure Imogen had all her information in case she remembered anything, they said their farewells.
Angus held her close with an arm around her shoulder as they headed for his car. “We’ll find a way, love. Dinnae fash yerself.”
She squeezed her eyes shut in an effort to keep the tears at bay, her heart aching. “What if we don’t?”
“Whist, love. We’ll figure something out.” He kissed the top her head and then got her in the car, before slipping behind the wheel and setting off.
She told herself he was right-they’d find another way to track her father down. It wasn’t like her to give up, even if the odds were against her. And yet she still found herself swiping at her tears. “I hate this.”
“Och, love. Don’t go being hard on yerself. Ye’ve got a new life ahead of ye, and it’ll be fantastic whether it’s with or without yer father.”
“But that’s just it. I don’t feel like I can move on with my new life until I get this sorted. It’s the reason I came, Angus.” Didn’t he get that? Though why should he when he had his entire family cozily tucked away at home.
“Then maybe Conall’s father can help.” He let out a weary sigh, his brow furrowed as he took her hand, giving her a quick glance while keeping his eyes on the road. “I just hate to see ye putting yer life on hold for a bastard who’s never cared enough to bother with ye.”
“Thanks for that little reminder, since I’d obviously forgotten.” Her tears spilled over as she looked out the window at the passing scenery, not wanting Angus to see her cry.
“Rowan… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” He brushed her hair from her shoulder, but she still couldn’t look at him.
“It’s nothing but the truth. And I don’t need him to play daddy or make up for the time he’s missed. I just need to know who he is-need to look him in the eyes. Just once. And I need to know why-why he never bothered with me. Then I can walk away. Then I’ll have the answers I need to truly live my life. Because until then? I’m just going through the motions.” She heard him sigh, but still refused to even glance in his direction. She’d look anywhere but at him.
“Aye, love. I can’t imagine what it’s like, and I’ll not pretend to understand how hard this has been on ye. Whatever ye decide to do, I’m here for ye. But… what if ye’re better off not knowing who he is? What if there are other factors we don’t know about? I worry about ye, lass.”
And that was why she couldn’t stay angry at him. She knew he only wanted to protect her from getting hurt, yet he didn’t know what it was like to live with that sort of question and uncertainty constantly niggling at the back of your thoughts.
She gave his hand a squeeze. “I appreciate that you care enough to worry about me, and you’ve been indispensable. But I need this Angus-and I’d prefer to do it with you at my side. If you don’t think you can support me in this search, then you need to tell me now.”
He was silent for what felt like a lifetime, as if debating things in his head, and it made her want to scream that there was clearly only one choice. Couldn’t he see that? Yet she bit her tongue and waited, trying not to feel hurt, her tears threatening once more the longer he took to answer her.
He finally gave her the answer she’d been hoping for, leaving her with the one person’s support that mattered. “Aye, love. I’ll help ye any way I can.”
Relief washed over her, as tears escaped to roll down her cheeks. He looked over at her and shook his head, pulling her to his side with a comforting arm around her shoulder, dividing his attention between her and road. “Whist, love. It’ll be all right.”
***
By the time they finished shopping for supplies and got back to Dunmuir, night had fallen and she was feeling drained, although a bit more optimistic. They would see about approaching Conall’s father, and with luck, Imogen might remember a bit more.
They quickly unloaded the items they’d bought at the gallery, when her stomach started to rumble. She looked over at Angus. He always ate like it was the last meal he’d be getting for months. “You must be starving.”
Taking her by the hand, he pulled her close, worry still filling his eyes and creasing his brow. She slipped her arms around his waist, grateful he was at her side, and he enveloped her, closing out the world around them so it was just the two of them. It’d be easy to stay there in the comfort of his arms, but he kissed the top of her head, and then loosened his hold just a little. “Aye, love. Famished. What did ye have in mind?”
“I could attempt to cook.” Mentally running down the list of groceries in her cupboards and fridge, she was already wondering how she’d cobble together a meal someone would actually want to consume.
“Ye’ll pardon my saying so, but attempting dinner doesn’t exactly sound like a chance I’m willing to take when I’m starving.” Angus tucked a red curl behind her ear, his touch lingering to melt away whatever tension remained between them. “The pub might be easiest-or we could go to the chipper and take home some fish and chips.”
“The pub works for me.” Quick and easy.
Hand in hand, they walked into the pub and found a booth. Just like when they’d been walking through town, there were more than a few whispers and glances in their direction. She wasn’t sure how she felt about it, especially when not all the glances were pleasant. Leaning in to speak to him across the table, she said, “Is it just me or do people seem like they’re not too happy about us being together.”
Angus gave everyone there a slow stare, as if daring them to keep up their looks to his face. The noise in the pub seemed to dim, his growl low and dangerous. “Pay them no mind, love. Seems they forgot their manners
for the day. They’re just looking for a bit of gossip.”
She thought it might have more to do with one of the town’s eligible bachelors hooking up with an outsider-and her mother’s past only made matters worse. It bothered her that she was trying to make this place her home, yet it seemed as if she was starting with the deck stacked against her. Normally she’d dig in her heels and let her stubborn streak kick in, making sure they knew she’d be going nowhere, but after the day she’d had, she wasn’t sure she had the energy to cope.
Lara strolled up to their table to take their order, a swagger in her step and a smirk tugging at her lips. “Out on a date then? And here I thought our dear Angus might care enough about ye to take ye someplace nice.”
More growling from Angus. “Just do yer job, Lara, and take our order.”
She glared at him with her head cocked to the side and a hand on her hip before turning to Rowan. “Crankier than a two-year-old without a nap, he is. Don’t know how ye put up with it.”
After the day she’d had, it was all too much. “You know, I’m really not that hungry. If you could just take me home, I’d appreciate it.”
“Stay, love.” He grabbed her hand, which resulted in an eye roll from Lara. “Lara was about to apologize and take our order. Weren’t ye?”
“Och, aye. My apologies.” She glared at Angus, before turning a falsely sweet gaze on Rowan. “So what will it be?”
“Give us a few more minutes to decide. We’ll call ye over when we’re ready.” Angus didn’t look away until she turned to go. Once Lara was out of ear shot, he grabbed both her hands in his. “Don’t let them get to ye, love.”
“It’s just been a long day, and not a good one, at that.” Crawling under the covers of her bed seemed like just the thing-especially if she didn’t have to emerge for a day or two.
“Things will get better, love.” Angus leaned in to close the distance between them and cupped her cheek. “Ye’ve got to believe that.”
“And what if they don’t? Did I make a mistake in coming here-to Dunmuir? I mean, I came here to look for my father, right? But what’s the point if he doesn’t want to be found? And it’s not like I’m welcome here, thanks to my mom.”
Angus’s jaw clenched, and when he spoke it was through gritted teeth. “It wasn’t a mistake to come here, Rowan. And it’s only natural that ye want to find yer father. The only mistake has been made by these eejits who think they’ve a right to judge others.” The last part was spoken louder than necessary. He shook his head. “Come on, love. I’m cooking ye dinner at home.”
He grabbed her hand and all but hauled her to her feet. They were out the door before she’d even had a chance to throw her bag over her shoulder. She knew he was angry, but she could barely keep up with the pace he was setting. “You need to slow down, Angus. I’m too short to keep up with you, and though I get that you’re angry, you need to take a deep breath and calm the hell down.”
She nearly ran into him when he spun on her. His mouth was hard on hers before she even realized what was happening, his arms pinning her to his body. There was no way he was holding back, no taking things slow. Nothing but a primal need and passion, fueled by anger and want. He consumed her, then and there, in the middle of the street, striping her of all other thoughts, until she felt as if her very soul might burn from his kiss.
He then stopped, grabbed her hand and hauled her down the street again. At the first sign that she wasn’t keeping up, he scooped her up and threw her over his shoulder, eliciting a string of protests and curses which he proceeded to ignore. He finally put her down when they got to his car. “Get in.”
“What the hell, Angus? You don’t get to go all caveman on me.” Rowan’s heart was pounding.
His jaw clenched and he took a deep breath. “Sorry. Please, get in the car.” Another deep breath, calmer this time. “Please.”
She shook her head and got in. At least he was angry on her behalf. Angus didn’t say another word while driving, and luckily it was a short ride to his house. Astro greeted them at the door before racing out into the nearby trees.
Rowan followed Angus to the kitchen after dumping her bag and coat by the entry. When he finally turned to her, it was only to get her insides churning. It’d been such a mess of a day, and she could only imagine what the evening would bring. She’d be happy with anything short of a nuclear disaster.
“Do ye want rid of me? I know I’ve antagonized ye today.” His eyes locked on hers, and she could see the lingering lines of anger on his face. But there was more-though what, she didn’t know.
Their day and interactions with each other had been less than ideal, but she shook her head no. “I know you mean well, Angus.” Closing the distance between them, she slipped her arms around his waist.
He let out a weary sigh and held her close, his cheek pressed against her head as she melted against him. “I swear, love, I can’t think straight around ye. Ye leave me dizzy and yearning for ye.”
She knew what he meant. Though she kept telling herself she wasn’t interested in anything serious, he was the only thing she could think of as of late, and she couldn’t ask for a more caring or considerate guy. He was nothing like the man Stephen turned out to be, and she knew she could trust Angus to always have her back. She could count on him-and that wasn’t something she’d been able to say about many in her life.
With her heart racing, she realized she’d come to a conclusion. “I don’t think I want to take things slow, Angus-or casual.”
Chapter Twelve
“Are ye sure, love? I can wait ‘til ye’re ready.” Angus swore every muscle in his body was tense with anticipation as he waited for her answer. He didn’t want to rush her into anything, but his heart was aching for her and he wanted her something fierce.
“My mind’s made up.” She looked up at him with those green eyes and didn’t look away, the fire in them one of determination. “I want to give this a shot. Like you said, there’s no point in putting my life on hold-and if you’re going to catch flack for seeing me, then we may as well do this right.”
“Rowan…” By the gods, he didn’t think he’d be able to hold back much longer. “Are ye sure this is what ye want?”
A smile tugged at her lips. “I’ve fallen for you, Angus. Hard.” She playfully poked him in the chest. “So you better not go breaking my heart.”
“Never.” Except that he now felt horrible about keeping things from her.
Worse still was that their visit with Imogen left him bothered. The woman had lied to them. Of that he had no doubt. But he had no clue why. Was she like his mother, trying to keep Rowan from finding her father to protect her? Or was it something else?
“Angus… what is it? You look distracted. I hope you’re not already regretting this.” Chewing on her bottom lip, she looked away, her smile fading.
Bloody hell, he was a fool. Pushing away any and all thoughts of guilt, he brushed her cheek to get her to look back at him and focused on her alone. Her bright red curls, the porcelain skin and playful freckles, the flecks of gold in her green eyes. “Maybe I need to prove to ye just how happy a man ye’ve made.”
He took a deep breath to try and calm himself, to set a pace that wouldn’t scare the poor lass, but with his heart thundering away, and her body pressed against his, there was no hope for it. His fingers tangled in her hair, as her scent filled his head and urged him on, his lips finding hers. With instinct pushing all logical thought from his mind, he devoured her, one kiss after another, as he fisted her hair and pulled her head back so he could move from her lips to the taut length of her pearly neck.
His hand ran over her curves and down to her hips, pulling her close. Little noises escaped her lips as her body melted into his, spurring him on. Without another thought, he had her off her feet and was carrying her to his bedroom, his mouth finding hers once more.
“Dinner…” It was a breathless word spoken against his lips.
“Aye, love.” His words we
re mumbled against her skin and in between kisses. “I’m damn hungry, but dinner just won’t do.”
***
Angus glanced over his shoulder to watch her pad across the kitchen towards him, wearing nothing more than the shirt he’d discarded earlier that evening. He’d happily take her again-except that she made him promise to feed her.
She slipped her arms around his waist from behind while he stood by the stove, her hands and cheek hot against his skin. “I think I might start painting the gallery tomorrow. Want to join me? I promise to make it up to you afterwards.” She kissed his naked back, and then kissed it again, sending a shiver of need down his spine.
“I wish I could help ye out, love. Ye know there’s nothing I’d like more, but I’ve got patients and a few errands to run.” Like going to see Imogen-not that he could tell Rowan of his plans. Especially now that they were officially a couple, he had to try to find out why Iona didn’t want Rowan looking for her father, and if Imogen was lying, he needed to know why. He needed to know if Rowan’s father was indeed dangerous-he needed to keep her from harm.
“I could come with you, if you like. You know how useful I am around big farm animals.”
He put the spatula down and turned to face her, holding her close and giving her a quick kiss. “You should get started on the gallery, love. I can swing by and give ye a hand when I’m done.”
As if realizing that he was keeping something from her and being less than honest, her eyes clouded over and she looked away. “I appreciate the help, but I’ve already eaten up a lot of your time. Don’t worry about it. I’ll manage.”
Now he’d gone and done it. He wanted to groan, his chest tight with the weight of his guilt. He’d never been any good at lying, and now she was misinterpreting it for disinterest.
“Och, love, ye know I’d spend every moment with ye, waking or otherwise, if it were possible. Now, let me get ye yer dinner before I burn it, and decide I’d rather find more productive ways of spending our evening.”