“Ok, it’s safe.”
I peeked through my fingers to find he had put on a loose pair of shorts. Nothing else. That made my nakedness beneath the blanket all the more obvious.
“There are some clothes in the dresser over there for you too, if you want.” He turned his back to wait for me to get dressed. “Get dressed, so we can talk.”
I scrambled off the bed and opened the drawers swiftly finding a t shirt and a pair of yoga pants. Both were a bit big, but better than sitting naked and wrapped in a blanket.
Someone knocked on the door as I finished dressing. Jake opened it slightly. “She’s not ready yet. Let me talk to her first,” he addressed whoever was outside.
A female voice responded, “We don’t have time to coddle here Jake. The Alpha sent for me and I won’t anger him. Let me in please.”
I recognized Marla’s voice instantly.
“No, she’s not ready. I’ll deal with Jerome’s anger. I’ll let you know when a good time is.” He started to shut the door.
“Wait!” Having another person here might help. “Let her in Jake.”
He looked back at me “Are you sure?” His protective nature kicking in.
“Yes.”
He stepped back and let Marla enter.
She came in and sat in the chair by the door. “Hi Casey.”
Her presence comforted me. “Hi Marla.”
“You have had quite a busy day, haven’t you?” She smiled. “I am sure you have questions. I wish we had all the time in the world to answer them and ease you into this, but we don’t. Jerome brought me here to help you in any way I can. Adjusting to the fact that you shift into an animal probably scares the shit out of you, but I want to let you know that it’s an amazing thing. You aren’t weird, or flawed, or an outcast. I know you are thinking that. Of course, that’s if you even accept it at this point.” She crossed her legs and sat back waiting for my reply.
I took my time responding. My mind tried to wrap around what had happened in the last twenty four hours and I would rather say that I had gone insane than accept that the events were actually true. It’s easy to fantasize about this world when you are reading it in a book, but when faced that it truly is reality, your feelings change. Being honest with myself, I was scared and mad. More than I had ever been in my life. The thought of changing into an animal scared me, the loss of control. Plus, I was angry at Jake, he knew what I was for so long and didn’t share. Then he helped bring me back here to this place and these people. Locking me in this room making it my prison cell. I paced the small length of the room, rolling the events around in my head. Working through each one. The more I thought, the easier it was to accept. People changing into animals, I saw it, heard it, and experienced it myself. The last fact solidified that this world was real. Something shifted inside and I wanted to know more. “Marla, it’s a lot to take in. Why do I have to adjust so quickly? Can’t I ease into this slowly?”
“Hun, I wish you could. If you were still a small cub we would, but your story is different. Do you remember anything of your childhood?” she asked.
“Nothing like changing into an animal. I only remember being in the system, thrown from one family to the next, but always being sent back to the home.” I huffed. That part of my life was shit. I wanted to forget as much of it as I could. Move on, get past it.
“I wasn’t around when you were taken in. I have heard stories, but most of it is hearsay. If you want to know about that time in your life, Jerome or Suzanne would be the ones to share that with you. For now, we need to figure out how to bring your cat out without giving her full control. I do know that you are in danger and that’s why they want us to work so fast.” She held her hand up to silence my reply, “No, I don’t know what kind of trouble, I am not that high up in the food chain yet. I only know I was brought in to help you. Females in our pack are few and far between. We are cherished, guarded, and if they could get away with it, they would probably lock us up.” She laughed. “Can you see me in a cage?”
I smiled at that image. “Nope.”
“Exactly. Ok, let’s get started. I am sure Jake will be back with some food for you. I can hear your stomach growl from over here. One thing you need to know is when you shift, you must eat and refuel afterwards. Our animal side has a higher metabolism and shifting takes a lot out of us.”
I was so focused on Marla I didn’t realize Jake had left.
As if on cue, a knock sounded at the door.
Marla let Jake in. Carrying a tray loaded with food. “Hey Casey. I made some of your favorites, you need to eat.” He set the tray on the bed.
I wanted to ignore him and the food. I was pissed at him, but my stomach chose that moment to growl and constrict in hunger. I sat on the bed and started eating, ignoring Jake.
“Very well, you can be mad at me as long as you want, but please listen to Marla. We only want what’s best for you and to keep you safe.” I huffed in response. Jake turned his attention to Marla. “How are things going?”
“I am not a miracle worker. I was just about to work with her on meditating and try to get her in touch with her cat. Jake, you know it can take weeks on a normal case for that to work and you are wanting me to do it in a couple hours’ time. Be patient. Tell Jerome and Mack I am doing my best. When she is done eating, we will work some more. Then get her a good shower and I think she needs to meet the rest of the pack. The more shifters she is around, the faster she can absorb things. Keeping her locked in a room, isn’t going to help.”
Jake nodded in agreement. “I’ll talk to Jerome and come check on you girls later. There are towels and essentials in the bathroom she can use.”
They chatted as if I wasn’t in the room. “I’m right here guys. Jake, where are my clothes?” I licked the grease from the fried chicken off my fingers. “I am not walking around this house, around people I don’t know in old sweats and t-shirts.”
“I can’t get your bag right now, it’s not safe. Our apartment is being watched. Marla should have something in your size. I am sure she can let you wear for now.” Without waiting for a response, he left and locked the door after him.
Marla got up and opened the closet door. “We have an array of clothing in each room, you should be able to find something that will fit you. There is a small three drawer storage container in here with brand new bra’s and underwear in almost any size. Grab what works for you when you are ready for your shower.”
I pushed the tray away having finished everything Jake brought. Feeling full and content all I wanted to do was stretch and nap. A luxury I had never had before. From the look on Marla’s face though, napping wasn’t an option. I decided to wait on the shower and jump right in. Choosing to take this life twist as a challenge, instead of letting it consume me with fear was the only way I would get through. It’s how I’d always dealt with things. I boxed the fear up, stored it on an internal shelf and faced the challenge head on. “Let’s get this meditation practice started. I’ll shower later.”
Marla smiled. “I knew you were strong. All right, have you ever meditated before?”
“I have never had the luxury of being anywhere that I could let my guard down enough to even try. You will have to start from scratch with me.”
“Very well, we will simply start with breathing exercises.” Marla spent the next hour helping me learn how to breathe, deep and from my core. She had me focus on each breath, practice shutting outside sounds down and focus on the feeling, sounds, and movement of my body as I breathed. By the end of the hour, my whole body was relaxed, my mind clear, and a calm had enveloped me. “Very good Casey. You learn quickly. How do you feel?”
“I feel good. It’s cool how I can almost feel each muscle in my body. I have never been this in tune before. I am calm and relaxed. Marla thank you, I wish someone had shown me this years ago, it could probably have helped many times over.” I looked up at her from where I sat on the floor. “What now?”
“Now you take that
calm feeling into the bathroom and take a shower. Practice keeping that state of calm. If you are still in this place when you get out, we will work on trying to connect to your cat side without letting her take full control. I’ll text Jake and let him know we could use a snack.” She pulled her phone out of her pocket and I headed towards the bathroom. “Casey?” She stopped me at the bathroom door. “This next part is going to be hard. I want to warn you, learning to meditate is a cake walk compared to controlling your cat. Be ready for a fight.” She turned back to her phone as it chirped at her.
I peeled out of the borrowed t-shirt and pants as I turned the water on to warm. I faced myself in the mirror, scrutinizing what I saw. The woman before me didn’t look like anything special. Average height, street thin, small breasts, hips that jutted out, but her face was the worst. My time on the streets over the past year were starting to show. Dark circles under my eyes, hollow cheeks, blood shot eyes. Nothing a little food and sleep couldn’t fix. Both of those were hard to come by when you lived on the streets, but now that I had a place with Jake, I knew things would turn around. Nothing I saw indicated that there was an animal lurking beneath the skin. The mirror started clouding with the steam from the shower. I turned and flipped the lever to transfer the water flow through the showerhead. I stepped in and just stood there, letting the warmth flow over me. My skin was hyper sensitive and I let the events of the past day flow over me. I grabbed the shampoo and lathered my hair twice, enjoying the scent as it wrapped around me. I scrubbed my face and realized tears were flowing down my face. I gave in to the need to cry, a small squeak escaping as the sobs took over. I slid down the shower wall and curled into a ball until the tears stopped flowing.
“Casey, everything ok in there?” Marla asked through the door.
“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.” I stood up, finished with my shower and stepped out. I wiped the steam from the mirror and looked myself in the eyes. “You can do this. Pity party over, this may be a good thing. Imagine all the people you could have chewed up and spit out over the years if you had known.” I smiled, and in a corner of my mind, I heard an agreeing growl followed by a purr. It was gone as rapidly as it came. “Ok girl, let’s go find that cat inside of you. Maybe you’re a lioness, or a bad ass panther. Yeah, whatever you are, you’ll be bad ass. No lap kitty here.” I dressed, ran a brush I found in the cabinet through my hair and braided it to keep it out of my face. One last glance and I was ready to face Marla and the next phase of my journey. I entered the bedroom and found her munching on a new tray of food Jake must have brought.
This one was overflowing with fresh fruits, brownies, yogurt and granola, and my favorite cookies.
“Grab a cookie, Jake says they are fresh from the oven just for you.” Marla pointed. “Monster cookies he said.”
I grabbed two cookies and sat on the bed, scooting until my back hit the wall. I curled my legs under me and enjoyed my cookies. Neither one of us said anything, but the silence was a companionable one. I gazed around as Marla finished her plate.
This room was fairly bare, a typical guest bedroom. One bed, one dresser, closet, window and then the door to the adjoining bathroom. One chair situated next to the door, but nothing on the walls, no pictures, nothing to make it feel like a room family would stay in. It had a hotel feel, except the bed wasn’t hard and lumpy. The quilt on the bed was obviously hand made. Patches sewn together with stitches that weren’t quite even, I could feel the love that had been put into it. That was the only piece in this room that had a welcoming feel.
Marla brushed her hands and stood. “I think it’s time to meet Jerome and some of the pack. Come on, let’s go downstairs.”
I expected the bedroom door to be locked when she grabbed it, but the knob turned easily in her grasp.
She looked back at me as she walked through. “Coming?”
I scooted off the bed and slowly followed her. Not sure what to expect, but putting my guards up just in case. I followed her down the stairs, trailing my hand along the railing, smooth under my hand from years of hands being run over it. I could smell Jake baking in the kitchen. Or I assumed it was Jake, there could be someone else in the house working in the kitchen. I stopped halfway down the stairs and focused on listening. I wanted to see if I could guess how many people were here. There was a small tick tock of a timer, meaning someone was working in the kitchen. I searched through the sound layers coming to me, there was a click as if ice in a glass that was closer, maybe someone pouring a drink. So another person, that makes two besides Marla and I. Then buried deep in the layers a muffled sound, intense and if through layers of wood or wall. So three other people, making five in the house. Ok, I could deal with that. I continued down meeting Marla as she waited for me at the bottom.
“What did you hear Casey?” She tilted her head in question.
“I was trying to see if I could tell how many people were here besides us.”
“And what did you come up with?”
“Well, someone, I assume Jake, is in the kitchen cooking or baking something. Someone is in the living room and just poured a drink, and there is someone else behind thick walls or a heavy door. I heard a muffled voice, rather intense but I couldn’t make out what he was saying.”
Marla had a surprised look on her face. “That’s good. Ok, change of plans. Stand here, close your eyes, block the sounds, and just smell. Tell me what you smell.”
Focusing on scents was a harder. I took a few deep breaths, remembering how Marla had taught me. Knowing she was right there to protect me, I let myself relax and filter through each scent that came to me. A sharp sting hit me, deep and tart. That was the drink that had just been poured. “Whiskey.” I peeled each layer back, there were brownies baking and I recognized Jake’s gumbo. “Brownies baking and gumbo on the stove.” Past those initial scents were those of the people in the house. Marla smelled spicy, with a hint of cinnamon and cloves. The rest in the house were male. Jake was easy to filter, he always smelled like the kitchen, with something underneath I could only identify as happiness. He was sweating though and not due to heat in the kitchen. He was worried, and I sniffed again. He felt scared, fear radiated from him. “Jake is scared.”
“Keep going,” Marla urged.
I heard shuffling and almost lost my focus.
Marla placed her hand on my arm. “Its ok, stay focused and keep going.”
The movement turned my focus to that person. He smelled of woods, whiskey, and sex. Not fresh from having it, but the potential. This scent lured me in and something deep inside responded with quick need. I wanted to rub against him, lick his skin and purr. I moved without thought to be closer to him.
“Don’t touch her, let her explore,” Marla whispered.
I followed my nose, taking in deep breaths. Even with eyes closed, I knew where he was, how to move around him. I found his neck and inhaled deeply. “Ours” that voice, deep in my mind purred. “Mine,” I whispered.
“Casey, what did you say?” Marla asked
I turned my head, opened my eyes, looked over my shoulder and growled, “Mine”. Fingers brushed my chin, turning my head back and up to meet his gaze. Shock hit me first, then fear. I stumbled back out of his grasp. This was the man who’d taken me and locked me up in a cage.
“Hello Cassandra,” he said, dropping his hand.
“My name is not Cassandra.” My breathing became heavy, my skin prickling and feeling too tight. My fear compounded every minute I stood there. My mind emptied of everything I had learned and focused on the man before me. A war waged within. I wanted to run and I wanted to jump into his arms at the same time. My hands curled into fists, muscles coiling for the getaway. I took one step towards him, drowning in his eyes. “Want a taste…” I thought that had only been in my head, but by his response, I realized I’d said it out loud.
His eyes changed right in front of me. The pupils dilated, radiating a need that equaled what I was feeling, but even more their shape changed. Stari
ng back at me were the eyes of the panther.
His scent changed and became smokier, I could smell his arousal and it turned me on. My hips moved as I felt the wetness spring up between my legs. I was moments from throwing myself at him when we were interrupted.
“MACK! Remove yourself now,” a deep baritone ordered.
I felt the power in that statement in every fiber of myself. I watched as the man in front of me, Mack as he was called, fought for control and stepped back. Finally taking a seat on the couch, but never breaking eye contact.
“CASSANDRA!” that same voice boomed.
I had enough, no one yelled at me like that. I broke eye contact and roared, “My name is NOT Cassandra!” I felt my body shift, ready to fight. I wanted to kneel down, my body vibrated with a need I didn’t know. A damn broke in my mind and I screamed as I fell to the floor. I panted through the pain on my hands and knees, my skin itching as I felt my bones try to shift.
Everyone in the house came running but I heard Marla state, “NO, don’t touch her.” She knelt next to me. “Casey, honey, look at me.”
I focused in on her.
“Your body wants to shift, I can see it. Your eyes have already changed. Do you understand me?”
Feeling mute, I could only nod.
“Does she want to hurt anyone?” Marla continued to talk, her voice and questions calm.
I still couldn’t speak through my breaths, I searched my mind but found no malice. What I did find amazed me. My cat was there, but she wanted to protect Mack, wanted to rub on others. “Let me out so we can play.” I forced myself to speak, “Play,” I whispered.
Marla laughed. “She wants to play?”
I nodded in answer.
“Can you hold it together another moment?”
My breathing was becoming easier, but the cat was still at the surface. “I’ll try.” I knew there was no going back, she would come out one way or another, but I had to control it, not her. This would be the deciding battle, I knew deep down either she or I would win. Whoever did would become the one in control from now on. I would not lose myself and she would submit. That resolve helped me keep her at bay for another few moments.
Mack (Black Mountain Pack Book 1) Page 6