by Nixie Taylor
The kid hears the panic in her mom’s voice and looks at me with fear rather than curiosity. It’s another punch to my gut.
“Please. I need to tell you some things.” I glance at the kid and then back at her. “I have some questions, too.”
She shakes her head again. “Not right now. Please? Can we do this tomorrow night? My sister will be here by then. She can watch Maggie. We can do this in private.”
There’s no way I can wait that long, but I’ll agree to anything if it means I get to see her again. “I’ll be working tomorrow night. Rusty Bucket. Anytime after six. The cab will know the way.”
She nods. “I’ll see you then, Flint.”
She turns and guides her child—our child—back into the resort. It’s only then I register that she’d said my name.
She remembers my name after all these years?
It’s a start. I can work from there. I will win her over and make her mine.
4
April
What kind of man works in a dive like this?
The tiny hole-in-the-wall bar has one pool table, one dartboard, and not much else. There must be a jukebox somewhere, because the loud heavy metal music drowns out a few of the many profanities that are being shouted from all corners of the place.
When I don’t see Flint anywhere, I have to decide whether to leave and hope he never comes looking for me or to stay and hope none of the men inside hit on me. I don’t think leaving will fix my problem with Flint. The only thing to do is talk to him and come to some kind of agreement that basically acknowledges he’s Maggie’s biological father and nothing more.
If it takes writing him a check to keep him out of Maggie’s life, so be it.
I nearly jump out of my skin when someone behind me says, “I’m going to need to see your ID.”
I turn and face the man of my dreams…and my nightmares.
He towers over me, easily six and a half feet tall. His hair is shorter now, but the new cut highlights his brown eyes. His kissable lips are smiling as if they are in on some secret the rest of the world will never discover. He’s wearing a plain white t-shirt stretched tight over his muscular chest and shoulders. His blue jeans hug his strong thighs and do more than hint at the massive dick that I know so very well after our one fateful night together.
He’s a rugged block of manpower. The kind of guy who easily blends in at a seedy dive bar like this.
The exact kind of man I have to keep away from my daughter and my business life, no matter how much the mere sight of him gets my panties wet.
He’s got a few new tattoos on his arms. I desperately want to tear the shirt from his body to inspect the rest of him to see what other ink he’s added, secretly hoping to find my name somewhere on his skin.
I never told him my name.
The plan had been to tell him in the morning, but he’d been long gone before the sun rose, charged and later convicted of a horrific murder.
Somehow that knowledge doesn’t do anything to minimize my body’s response to seeing him again. I want him so badly, even though I can’t ever let anything happen between us.
He snaps his fingers twice and holds out his hand once more. “Sorry, ma’am. We card everyone as pretty as you.”
Stunned by the moment, I pull my driver’s license from my wallet and hand it to him. “Do you even work here?”
He ignores me. His focus is on the ID.
The one with all of my personal information on it.
Shit.
“April Harper, born March 18, 1990. Lives in Arlington Heights, Illinois. Blood type, O negative. Organ donor, nice. Height five feet, four inches. Weight—”
“If you value your testicles, you’ll stop right there, Flint. What do you want?”
“If you’d told me your real name, I would have come looking for you earlier, you know.”
My heart pounds in my chest at what could have been before I remember where he spent those years. “Think God for small miracles, then. The last thing I need is a murderer stalking me.”
“I’m no murderer, April. Just a man falsely accused because I looked like what people expect a murderer to look like. They never suspect the guys in the blue polo and khaki pants who piss their pants when they are confronted.”
I cut short a laugh at the memory. “I never properly thanked you for rescuing me from him. He really was a creep.” Flint smiles like I’ve given him some gift. “But, as far as I know, he never murdered anyone.”
His reply comes in a deep growl I can barely hear over a growing commotion on the far side of the bar. “Neither have I. The conviction was overturned two years ago. Not that it erased the other four years I spent in prison because of it.”
Glass shatters over by the pool table.
Flint doesn’t even flinch. His eyes stay locked on mine.
I don’t know what to say. How can I trust him based strictly on his word? I’ll have to do some research first.
But why? It’s not like we’re going to fall in love.
If only my heart agreed with my brain.
I’m so confused. I have to get away from this situation and think.
“I know she’s my daughter, April. She’s got my eyes. She deserves to know her dad. Please let me meet her.”
Damn it.
I’ve done my best to be the only parent Maggie needs, but I’ve heard enough subtle questions over the years to understand that not knowing bothers my inquisitive child.
Our child.
I nod quickly before I can change my mind. “Tomorrow, at the pool at the resort.”
I’m seconds from rambling and telling him how many times I’ve thought about him while lying in my bed at night when someone crashes into my back, knocking me against Flint’s chest. He doesn’t budge. His grip is strong and steady.
He pulls me behind him, placing his massive body between me and the trouble. “Wait right here.”
The fat man who’d collided with me is wearing a leather jacket, opened to expose his shirtless belly. He throws a wild punch at Flint, hitting him in the stomach. Like a block of granite, Flint doesn’t even seem to notice. The fat man takes two unsteady steps backward before Flint pounces.
I cover my eyes to avoid the pummeling I expect Flint to lay on the drunk fool, but I peek through my fingers because I know he’ll look hot doing it.
Instead, he spins the man around, wraps him in a bear hug, and pushes his belly against the bar.
“Listen, Nico. That’s enough bullshit out of you, got it?”
Flint releases him when the man doesn’t struggle.
“Sorry, Flint. I got carried away. The beer, you know?”
Flint pats the man on his shoulder, and it seems like things are ready to go back to normal when I see something flying at my face. I duck just in time to avoid it, but whatever it was breaks the window in the door behind me.
“Get out of here. This bar’s for us locals.”
A bald man with most of his teeth missing winds up and throws a ball from the pool table at me.
I try to dodge, but it still hits my shoulder. “Ouch! Knock it off, asshole.”
The guy flinches, but not because of my words.
Flint charges him, this time not interested in playing the good cop. He throws a punch that smashes the guy’s nose.
“Da ’uck ya do ’at for?”
The jukebox goes silent, dragging the rest of the bar with it.
“Nobody hurts my woman,” Flint growls.
I’ve never heard such sexy words in my entire life.
I don’t get the chance to rush into his arms, though. Four of the men who are hovering around the pool table all start attacking him at once. I look around for something to do, wishing for the second time in two days that I knew who to call on the island during an emergency.
Flint doesn’t waste any time looking for help. He is a whirling dervish of fists and elbows, knees, and feet. Almost as quickly as the fight started, it’s over. All four men are
draped over the pool table or collapsed onto the floor.
I finally realize I need to get the hell out of this bar, but my feet carry me toward Flint instead. He’s got blood coming out of a cut on his forehead but doesn’t seem to have suffered much more damage. He’s single-handedly taken down five men to protect me.
Like a starlet who’s just been saved by the action hero, I kiss him, ignoring everyone else in the dirty bar. There’s just our two bodies and our growing passion, encouraged by the adrenaline rush.
I’m breathless when we finally break apart. “You saved me.”
“I’ll never let anybody hurt you, April.”
But I wouldn’t have been in any danger if I’d stayed away from him in the first place.
For once with Flint, my brain wins the argument. “I’m sorry.”
As I dive into the first cab I find, I can’t help but feel I’m going to be alone forever. Fate is clearly trying to reunite Flint and me, and I’m being a stubborn, scared chicken. There’s just too much I don’t know about him and what happened the night he was arrested.
Was he really innocent?
Can I trust him to tell the truth about it?
Not when Maggie is part of the equation. I won’t put her at risk, no matter how much my body needs a man like Flint in my life. Hell, not just my body. My heart and soul, too. I deserve to be loved and cared for, to have someone to have adult conversations with, and to have someone to grow old with.
The only thing that will resolve any of this is some good old fashioned research.
Maggie and my sister, Heidi, are watching a movie in her room when I return to the hotel. I lie down on the spare bed, pull out my phone, and type in, “Flint murder Arlington Heights 2014,” and start researching.
“Oh my God.”
I must have said the words out loud because Heidi says, “What?”
“It would take a while to explain.”
“I figured, since you’ve been poking at that phone of yours for the last twenty minutes. I’ve got time, though. Maggie is asleep on my arm, so I can’t go anywhere.”
My head is swirling with emotions and regrets. I don’t even know where to begin. Heidi waits patiently until I finally settle with saying, “A long time ago, I made a huge mistake, but I think I’ve just been given a chance to make it right.”
5
Flint
“What the hell happened here, Flint?” Malcolm, the owner of the bar asks after emerging from the bathroom after the fight.
“They disrespected my woman.”
Malcolm rolls his eyes at me. “You don’t have a woman. You’ve never had a woman. Some of the guys are starting to talk.” He holds his hands up defensively when he sees the rage in my eyes. “Not me, of course. Not that I give a flying fuck who you want to spend your nights with. Point is, you don’t have a woman, so I’ll ask once more. What the hell happened here?”
“Big Nico bumped his drunk ass against a lady.” I don’t bother calling her my lady. Malcolm won’t believe me. “Then the hooligans at the pool table decided throwing the pool balls was more fun than playing the damn game. They broke a window and hit the lady with them.”
I stop, because what more is there to say?
Malcolm finishes for me. “And then you beat the living shit out of five of our most frequent customers?”
It’s hard to believe all of the men I’d clobbered choose right then to groan in misery. Even Malcolm frowns at their antics.
“Last time you beat the shit out of customers, what did I say?”
I force a tight smile. “Not to beat the shit out of any more customers.”
Malcolm takes on the tone of a father talking to his toddler. “And what did you just do?”
“Beat the shit out of more customers. But they deserved it.” I ball my fists, not happy that I sound like a toddler talking to his father.
Malcolm nods, buying himself time to deliver bad news. He’s the only person who’d been willing to give me a chance after my years in prison. Turns out, even when you are wrongfully convicted, employers still don’t trust a man like me not to cause problems.
“You’re fired, Flint. Stop by on Friday before we open so I can give you your last check.”
“This is bullshit. You let the hooligan crew pick fights half the time they’re here.”
“There are two big differences between you and those idiots. First, they are paying customers whereas I have to pay you. Second, I expect better from you than those assholes.”
Malcolm had given me a chance, and I’d let him down. I’ve never been more disappointed in myself. Unlike when people get in arguments with their dad, Malcolm won’t be waiting with open arms for me to apologize. I’d blown my chance at the job and with earning his respect.
I never would have thought that would disappoint me, but it feels like he’s just kicked me in the balls.
I’m frustrated and angry. I went to tear the bar apart and kick everyone’s ass.
Mostly, I’m disappointed at myself. Once I’d seen April at risk, I’d lost all control. I escalated a situation into something truly dangerous.
April must have realized what kind of wild animal I can be. That has to be why she ran away. There’s no way she’s going to ever give me a chance to meet Maggie now. I don’t blame her. Knowing she’s my kid makes me want to protect her, and even I’m not sure I would let her around me.
But she never specifically rescinded her offer.
As I turn to walk out of the bar, Malcolm says, “I didn’t expect you to tuck your tail and go away without a fight.”
The hair on the back of my neck rises. Blood pounds in my ears. I don’t dare turn around. I’m teetering on a precipice. On one side is a happy life with the possibility of being with April and Maggie. On the other is darkness, anger, and violence.
The world is never going to give a man like me a fair chance. People will always take one look at me and assume I’m a monster because of the way I look.
But that doesn’t mean I have to be the monster they expect me to be.
If I’m going to ever become a better man, it has to start right now.
Still staring at the exit, I say, “Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think.”
“Might be. I’d be willing to bet you don’t know yourself so well some days, too. We’ll talk on Friday if you manage to stay out of jail until then. Stay safe, my friend.”
It’s a sliver of hope. If Malcolm hasn’t given up on me entirely, perhaps April hasn’t yet, either.
I don’t have any idea what the future holds for me, and I certainly don’t know how to be a good husband or father, but I’m not going to give up on one of the few things in my life that have ever brought me any happiness.
The warm island air greets me when I walk outside. A light mist is falling. I turn my face up to the sky and let it wash over me.
Rather than taking a cab, I decide to walk home. For the first time in ages, I want some time to think about my future and what kind of man I want to be.
6
April
“Come on in, Mom!” Maggie yells as she hits the beachball back toward Flint. “Stop working all day.”
“I’ll have you know I haven’t done any work today. I’ve been reading my book like you keep telling me to do.”
“Ugh. Come play. You can read on the plane or in bed tonight.”
The truth of the matter is I’ve barely glanced at the words in the book. Each time I try, I get distracted by the sight of Flint’s muscles, all wet and shiny from playing in the pool.
He and Maggie have been having a blast for the last thirty minutes. I haven’t worked up the courage to tell Maggie the news yet, because I’m not sure how she’ll react. Sure, she’s wondered aloud a million times who her dad might be. She’s even pretended it might be various celebrities. But it’s quite another for her to learn that this specific man is her father.
What if she hates him? What if she hates me for sleeping with him?
What if she hates me for not doing everything I could to find him sooner?
I’m still having trouble with that last one myself.
Even the hint of the wild violence of last night hasn’t surfaced today. He’s been kind, gentle, and silly. He’s doted over Maggie without making any indication he might be her father or that the two of us are an item.
Because we’re not.
How could a sexy man like him have any interest in a frumpy single mom like me when every woman in this resort has crowded around the pool just to sneak glances at him?
And that’s the real reason I’m still sitting on the lounge chair on the side of the pool. My comfortable t-shirt and wrap hide the bikini I’m wearing beneath them. And my curves.
“Yeah, April. We could really use a third set of hands to keep this ball in the air. We’re trying to set a record over here.”
I owe my daughter the joys of playing on vacation, and I’ll do anything for Maggie. I put a bookmark in the book and set it on the chair. I take a deep breath before grabbing the bottom of my t-shirt and pulling it over my head. In a flurry of movement, so I don’t lose my courage, I untie the wrap and add it to the pile on the chair.
My arms cross over my belly. Then, I force them to my sides. One finds its way to cover my breasts while the other fidgets with my hair. I’m about to say to hell with it all and put my t-shirt back on and pretend I’m wearing it because I’m worried about the sun when I hear a wolf-whistle from the pool.
“You look incredible, April,” Flint says.
I blush when I see the intensity and hunger in his gaze. I’ve only ever had a man look at me with so much desire once before in my life; during that one night we’d spent together.
My body can still practically feel his lips on mine, his fingers on my skin, his tongue licking my—
“Momma, catch!”
The ball hits me in the chest, literally dousing cold water on the memories. I manage to punch the ball before it hits the ground. It flies vaguely in their general direction.