“Come on, I don’t bite. Just one dance? You can show off those ballroom dance moves you know so well.”
“There’s no music,” she said.
He reached into his front jean pocket and pulled out a small mp3 player and a pair of ear bud headphones. Katey’s eyes lit up with disbelief and eagerness.
“You planned this didn’t you?” Katey asked, struggling to hold in her nervous giggle.
“Not completely, but I was hoping you’d say yes anyway.”
Logan regarded her with his gorgeous eyes that reflected the light from the windows behind her, making them twinkle like stars in the dark night sky. He gave her a charming half smile and winked.
Katey melted and slid down the slick mats all the way to the bottom. The brief discomfort of her body bouncing against the rolls was worth the chuckle it produced out of Logan. Her legs would have given out if Logan hadn’t been there to meet her at the bottom and take her hand in his.
He swiftly pulled Katey to her feet and offered her an ear bud.
Without another hesitant thought, Katey wedged it into her ear as he played a beautiful violin melody. Logan placed his free hand on her shoulder blade and she gracefully laid hers upon his bulging bicep. She was stunned that he took the correct hand positions the first time without her having to adjust them.
Katey bit her lips together as she felt her stomach flutter. She had taken this position with dozens of guys, young and old, but never did it feel so right to be held like he held her now.
Logan led her in the first few steps of the waltz, but an inexplicable feeling suddenly washed over Katey like a windstorm as she gazed up into his eyes. It was a queer mixture of panic that made her gasp.
She wasn’t afraid because the situation was so unfamiliar to her, but quite the opposite. She’d never once dreamed about dancing with Logan, but somehow in the way that he looked down at her now, how the light shined through the windows at just the right angle, it made his eyes do something strange. And she’d seen it happen somewhere else before.
For a fraction of a second, his eyes weren’t blue, but a deep ochre shade of gold that startled her out of any good feeling she had moments before. She knew it must have been a trick of the sun, but it frightened her all the same.
With Katey’s nerves rattling and shaking uncontrollably, she shied away from him, yanking the ear bud out and stumbling a few feet back. He seemed shocked and took a cautious step towards her like she were a skittish horse.
Katey in turn, moved away, holding herself about her shoulders as her heart raced and eyes were fixed on his.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
Katey shook her head. She hardly knew what to tell him. How could she possibly explain what she saw or how she felt?
“Nothing. I’m just a little nervous.”
“But, why?” His voice was pleading and face distorted with confusion. It hurt Katey to turn him down like she did. She wanted to dance with him more than anything. Even if he was clumsy and stepped on her toes until they were numb, Katey was willing to dance with him until dawn the next morning if the world would let them.
“I don’t know… Maybe we can just sit and talk. I’ll take you up on that dance later.” She tried to give him a reassuringly smile, but her lips twitched against the command.
Logan looked disappointed and concerned, but nodded in agreement and turned his mp3 player off before stuffing it back into his pocket.
Katey attempted to sit on the lowest rolled up mat and give her legs a rest, but she slowly slid to the floor and landed with a dull thump. Logan joined her as she tightly wrapped her arms around her stomach, fighting the fear that attempted to strangle her mind.
“Are you alright?” Logan asked suddenly. Katey took a deep breath and nodded. She was waiting for the butterflies to go away, repeating over and over in her head that he didn’t have feelings for her the way she might have had feelings for him and he probably was just hanging around because he felt sorry for her. She felt as if her guts would hurl from her mouth at any moment.
“Are you sure?” he repeated.
“I’m fine. I just don’t feel well all of the sudden.”
“Is the deer not agreeing with you?”
Katey let her chest slowly rise and fall with each soothing breath, feeling the jitters being slowly pushed out of her each time. “Yeah. Maybe I just moved too much all of the sudden.”
Logan reached out his hand and felt her forehead with the back of his hand. Katey felt the urge to bat his hand away, but she closed her eyes and let him touch her, savoring the feel of his skin on hers.
“You’re burning up. Do you want me to take you to the nurse?” he asked. She shook her head when he removed his hand.
“No, I just need to slow down, I guess.” Katey looked up to Logan’s worried expression and had to turn away. He looked too pitiful for her to stand.
“Well, while you slow down, do you still want to talk?” he asked.
Katey nodded and began chewing on her fingernail; a bad habit that came out every time she was overly nervous.
Logan respected her need to unwind and let her pick the first subject. Unfortunately, it was not a light one. Already frazzled and on the edge of going into a nervous breakdown, she decided to do what she had longed to do since the moment they met. Now was a good a time as any.
“Before I met you,” she began, “I had a lot of problems.”
“Problems?”
Katey nodded, keeping her eyes fixed on a particular crack in the concrete floor just beyond the tips of her shoes. “Yes. I umm… I wasn’t emotionally well, I guess you could say.”
He was silent, waiting for her to continue.
Katey took a stuttered breath. “If you’ll let me get poetic, I’d say I was in a fog. I didn’t know where I was going. I couldn’t feel anything. Every day was bland and gray. I put on a smile and tried to act like everything was ok, but deep inside, I knew it wasn’t. I just put on a mask for everyone. I didn’t know why. It was nothing but emptiness and I knew I was missing something. I wasn’t sad. I didn’t cry or anything. I just… stopped. I don’t know how else to describe it.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” he said, his voice filled with tenderness.
“But, when I met you, I wasn’t numb anymore. I could feel again. It’s weird and I haven’t felt the same since.”
Now, Katey knew she was crossing a line, breaching past the point of no return. Once her feelings were spoken, she could never erase them. She could have gone on and told him about the cuts on her thigh and the several failed suicide attempts. Before she could mess everything else up, she squeezed her lips tight together, letting Logan know that she was done over-sharing.
From the corner of her eye, she saw him edge closer and she refused to shy away this time. He lifted his arm and hung it around her shoulders, pulling her close to him in a comforting, but platonic side-hug.
“I’m glad you’re not feeling that way anymore,” he whispered in her ear as he leaned his head against hers. His breath tickled the fine hairs around her temples and Katey didn’t know what to do with herself.
Should she hug him back? Fall into his arms and cry the long awaited tears that wouldn’t leak out over the last few years? Or simply bask in the sensation of togetherness that she hadn’t felt with anyone else. Katey never knew the feeling before, but if she didn’t know any better, she would have said that Logan felt like home to her in that moment. She didn’t want it to end.
Suddenly, Logan’s head quickly perked up towards the door.
“What is it?” Katey asked.
“I think we better be getting you to your fifth period,” Logan said, standing up and offering his hand to help her to her feet.
Katey keenly felt the difference when he disconnected from her, like the winter cold suddenly shattering a fun summer day. “Did the bell ring?” she asked.
“Yes. Didn’t you hear it?”
In fact, she had not. But after
checking the time on her phone, it was indeed time to return to reality.
Katey hesitantly took his hand and he gently pulled her up so they could start towards the door.
Chapter 11
Fifth period was a blur to Katey. She sat at the counter and graded papers for Dustin while he lectured on behind her, but her mind was on anything else. The memory of lunch period paraded through her thoughts, reminding her of how sweet, kind and understanding Logan was.
She hadn’t missed the part when he confessed to knowing exactly how she had felt when she was suffering in her depression. It brought up all new questions that she was determined to ask next they saw each other, which she hoped would be sooner rather than later.
When the bell rung, she sprung from her seat and bolted out the door on her way to sixth period. The path she often took was a little unconventional. Instead of braving the indoor traffic of students, Katey trekked across the parking lot. Dustin’s classroom was clear across the campus from her journalism class.
But half way across the parking lot, Katey felt as if she wasn’t alone amongst the cars and pick up trucks.
Before she knew what happened, two arms were wrapped around her shoulders and hot breath hit her neck. “Gotcha,” she heard whispered in her ear. She had no time to recognize the voice.
Katey gasped, grabbed one of the arms that held her and bit down deep into her assailant’s arm. Her attacker grunted, let go and Katey ran as fast as she could towards the main building. As she ran, she could taste the familiar metallic flavor of blood in her mouth.
Once she felt that she was at a safe distance under the catwalk against the side of the main building, she glanced back and saw Logan holding his injured arm.
She thought she had bit hard and deep enough to make him bleed, but all she could see was small red holes and cuts before he covered it over with his hand to hide the damage.
What puzzled her more than his wound was his expression. She imagined that he would have looked hurt or angry, but he didn’t. He almost looked happy with a hint of disbelief.
Katey wanted to run to him and apologize, but when she took a step closer, he quickly turned and hurried away in the opposite direction. Katey was stunned by his hasty flight, but didn’t pursue him.
She wiped her lips and continued on to her class, feeling utterly mortified and embarrassed for her rash impulses. God only knew what Logan must have thought of her now. Katey could only hope that he would accept her apology next time she saw him.
But all the way to her sixth period class, she couldn’t help but wonder why Logan would have smiled in that quirky way. Who smiled when they were bitten like that?
***
After class was over, Katey walked to her locker as usual, and whom else would she find, but Logan standing nearby. He had a bandage over his arm where she had bitten him, but he didn’t look at all bother by it.
Suddenly overcome with embarrassment and forgetting her resolve to apologize, Katey groaned and turned away to walk back down the hall from where she came.
But it was too late and Logan ran after her.
“No, wait. Katey, stop!” Logan called out to her from down the hall. He caught up with her in practically no time at all and grabbed her wrist, not tight enough to hurt, but firm enough to stop her. Katey turned back around to face him, her face twisted with shame and humiliation.
“Haven’t I done enough?”
“I just want to talk,” he replied. She glanced at his wrapped up arm. “Don’t worry about that. It’s just a scratch. Please, I just want to talk.” Logan swallowed hard and came close enough that she could smell his cologne. “I need to see Darren first, and then we can walk over to McDonald’s to get something to eat. What do you say?”
Katey stared off at the ground, knowing well by now if she looked into his eyes, she would have no choice but to agree.
But it didn’t matter, Katey nodded anyway and peered at him from the corner of her eye. He was grinning broadly. Obviously the fiasco that took place in the parking lot did not bother him enough to keep him away or change whatever opinions he had formed about her already. And if he wasn’t bothered, then Katey supposed there was no reason that she should be either.
“Ok, I’ll be right back. Please don’t go anywhere?” he pleaded as he let go of her wrist and walked off towards Darren’s room down the hall. Katey sighed, leaned against a brick wall and waited.
As the hallways emptied, it became so quiet that Katey couldn’t help but hear voices coming from inside the classroom. Her curiosity peaked.
Katey deftly made her way to Darren’s classroom, stood next to it so she wouldn’t be seen from the small window in the door, but was still within hearing range.
Inside the classroom was Logan, Darren, Dustin and Ben. Darren had his arms folded over his barrel chest, leaning against the podium. Dustin perched himself atop one of the desks near Ben who was sitting in a chair. All three of them were paying close attention to Logan who was standing before them all as if on trial. The classroom was filled with tension so thick that even a knife wouldn’t be able to pierce it. They were all on edge as the discussion turned onto a subject that none of them were ready to bring up.
“What are you suggesting, Logan?” Darren asked, his voice deep with severity.
“I think we should try and change her,” Logan replied.
Darren sighed and rubbed his face in irritation. Ben looked away without a word though his face revealed that he wanted to say so much more.
Dustin scoffed. “Ok… have you lost your mind? She’s a girl! She wouldn’t survive the bite let alone living like us,” he shouted.
“Keep your voice down, Dustin. There are still kids outside,” Ben muttered.
“Sorry… But you have to understand, Logan. I don’t think she’d make it. No other female has, or have we neglected to tell you that?”
“I think she will,” Logan countered fiercely. “Even if there isn’t one like her, we can teach her and…”
Darren interrupted him. “Logan, the reason there are no females is because they don’t survive the bite, let alone the first change. You know that others have tried and failed.”
“But, she’s different,” Logan pleaded, pounding the edge of his fist against his chest. “I can feel it. She’s not like other girls. There’s something about her that sets her apart.”
Dustin shook his head. “That’s your emotions getting in the way of your judgment. If you have feelings for her, she’s obviously going to feel different than all the other girls out there.”
Logan shook his head sternly. “But, it’s not that. I mean, I might have feelings for her, but that’s not why I’m saying she’s different. She’s special, I know it. I know you all feel it too. You’ve talked about it before.”
The teachers all exchanged knowing glances, feeling suddenly sheepish in front of their ward for the truth that he spoke so plainly. At one time or another, they had all looked upon Katey and sensed something within her that stood out among the rest. She had that special spark, which was certain. None of them might have admitted it to the other, but they had all entertained the idea that Katey belonged with them somehow.
The long pause of silence told Logan he may have been close to winning his case, but he knew he had a long way to go before a decision would be made.
“And even if she could survive it, you mentioned teaching?” Dustin asked, a hint of his old Irish tongue slipping out. “Logan, we’re still teaching you! Who would be the one to change her?”
“We haven’t agreed that we would, Dustin,” Darren grumbled, his eyes cast down to the floor in deep thought.
“I know,” Dustin replied, “but that question needs to be addressed before we can even agree on anything.”
“I was thinking I could change her,” Logan stated proudly, his hands balled into tight fists by his sides as if he were ready to fight anyone who contested him.
Ben laughed. “You? You can’t even control yourself.”
“Look who’s talking,” Logan retorted back.
Ben’s eyes flashed an angry gold and his lips twitched as if they wanted to curl back into a snarl.
“Mind your words,” Darren scolded.
“Ben has a point,” Dustin added as he slid off the desk and began pacing. “Who says you won’t kill her in the middle of it? Rip her to shreds before the change can even take hold? And who ever said you had the ability to change others yet? You’ve never done it. If anyone would change her, it would be me or Darren, not you.”
“Again, who said I would even agree to this?” Darren unfolded his arms and pushed himself away from his podium to walk closer to the group. “There is no hard evidential proof that if we tried, she wouldn’t die. And if she does die, that’s on our hands and it’s a bigger mess to clean up than it’s worth. She would need to choose it willingly and be completely informed of the risks. She’ll stay human for now and that’s my final word on the matter.”
Dustin and Ben nodded in agreement, but Logan looked less than pleased with their decision. He took a deep breath to calm himself, and then gave one last look to his family before stalking out of the classroom.
Logan stepped into the hall and looked around, sniffing the air and listening for any sign of Katey. He found none.
“Katey?” he called out, but no voice answered him back.
***
Katey ran frantically from her parked car to the front door of her house. Her shaking hands fumbled countless times with the key, but she managed to make it inside. She shut the door, locking both the knob, deadbolt and sliding the chain into place. She threw her bag to the ground and began pacing the floor, running her fingers through her hair and fiddling with her clothes nervously. It was a chore just to keep her breathing under control.
“Ok, Katey, get it together,” she told herself aloud. “Think this through. This can’t be what you assume it is, so let’s just talk this out. They were talking about a girl. A girl they want to change. Change into what? No, no questions, just facts. Ok, they want to change her. She goes to the school, she hangs out a lot with Logan apparently and all the guys know her. That description fits plenty of girls, right?”
The Enigma (The Loup-Garou Series Book 1) Page 14