by Marie Garner
“Just know that it is one of those things that you will never understand and chalk it up one of the mysteries of life.”
He shook his head because she was probably right—that was one of the great mysteries of life women would never divulge. Like how they smelled so good, or got their skin so soft, but those were ways he would be forever grateful that they were different than men.
“So how is it?” He leaned in, nodding at what was left of the food on the table. He was interested to know if he picked the right restaurant, desperately seeking her approval, surprised he wanted it. It was never something he was concerned about before. He always wanted to make sure a woman enjoyed their time together and liked everything about the date, but he never actively sought approval. She was too busy eating to answer him right away, but if the way she was killing the mashed potatoes was any indication, he didn’t have to worry. If he didn’t know any better, he would think this was her last meal. She had already devoured a piece of chicken, the mashed potatoes, and was currently eyeing the biscuit like it was next on the hit list. He didn’t know where she put it; she wasn’t really fat but had a glorious maze of curves that he couldn’t wait to explore. If the taste that he got last night was any indication, he was along for an amazingly luscious beautiful ride.
“It is delicious. I must admit that despite my earlier doubts, of which there were plenty, I am really enjoying the dinner and the company.” She looked at him like she had last night, as though he was next on her list of things to eat. Her tongue darted across her lips, causing him to shift uncomfortably in his seat, picturing that tongue wrapped around his cock. She leaned closer, boobs spilling over the top of her dress.
He adjusted himself, his pants suddenly too tight. “I told you this was the best place to eat. And as far as the company, who can beat my awesome presence?”
She smiled slyly, looking down pointedly, knowing exactly what she was doing. “Have I mentioned how I admire your humility?”
He leaned toward her, deciding to see her bet and raise it. He glanced down at her breasts, still on display, slowly working his way toward her mouth. He could see her chest rising and falling more rapidly, cocking his eyebrow when he looked at her. He knew he was turning her on—hell, he was turning himself on—but short of throwing her on the table and taking her in the middle of the restaurant, his desire would have to wait, so he changed the subject to something that didn’t involve foreplay. “A time or two. I forgot to ask, how was it with Conner today?”
She blinked, trying to focus on the question at hand, and he saw when the haze of lust cleared from her eyes. As much as he wanted to get her in bed, right fucking now, he knew the wait would be worth it. When they finally got into bed, it was going to be damn good.
Leaning back, making him want to pout because her beautiful breasts went with her, she answered his question about Conner. “Messy…” she crinkled her face in response “…and very noisy. But your brother’s really nice, and he tried to make it as painless as possible.”
“That’s Conner. He will do the best work for you, and if you don’t like it, he’ll fix it until you do.”
“Yeah, I got that vibe from him.”
“Glad you like him. Did you get a chance to go through the house?” he asked casually, staring at the fork he turned over repeatedly.
He was trying not to ask, but he really wanted to know if she found out anything about why her mother would want her to think she was dead. He was trying not to push her because she seemed a bit irritated the other night, so he figured if he was sneaky about it she wouldn’t know.
It worked, because she answered the question without any snide comments or gestures. “I went through some of it. I found these letters the other night that my father had written to my mother. She had them in her bedside table and some of them were really old, which surprised me. You know what I am talking about, when the paper is yellow and really soft because you have folded it and unfolded it numerous times? Well, the other night I found one he had written like right after he received the signed divorce papers, and he was telling her about me and my stepmother. He had just met her and he talked about how taken I was with her and how I was doing. It was really sweet, and it made me think about what would make her leave me. She clearly loved me, I know that, but something held her back from giving herself to me, and that makes me feel unloved. Right or wrong, even though I know she loved me, I can’t seem to see how abandonment equals love.” Her mouth turned down in a frown while she stared down at the table. He didn’t know what to do with her, but he grabbed her hands and squeezed them to let her know he was here for her.
He leaned over and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, rubbing his hand along her jaw to lift her chin. Her eyes, alight only minutes before, now looked dull. All he wanted to do was reassure her, regardless of whether she wanted him to help or not. “Honey, sometimes we do stupid stuff. There are always things that I wish I could turn around and do over, and maybe your mom felt the same way.”
She shook her head in disbelief. “But over twenty years? At any time I would have welcomed her back.” He brought her hands to his lips, kissing them lightly in comfort.
“I know, but maybe she didn’t know that. You have to stop doing this to yourself. You have the key in your house right now and you choose to ignore it. If you want to know her reasoning, read the letter that she left for you.”
Her lips pursed curiously. “How do you know about the letter?”
He knew he stepped in it and moved quickly to reassure her so she didn’t think she was talking about her behind her back. “My mom may have mentioned it the other night.”
She smirked. “After she yelled at you?”
He scratched his head, not liking to be in the hot seat. “Who told you that?” How the hell did she know that his mother chastised him like he was five years old?
Eva held up her soda, glass clinking against the side as she shook it. “Conner,” she said before drinking, wanting to see his reaction.
He could feel his face getting red. He was going kill Conner the next time he saw him. “Of course, little brother is always willing to help out.”
She wagged her finger at him. “Don’t blame your brother for you being an ass.”
“As I was saying …” He changed the subject back to the topic of the envelope, not liking the direction that conversation was going. “You can’t continue to live in this limbo— did she or didn’t she? Why did she do it?—that you’ve created for yourself. It’s not healthy for anyone, you especially, and it brings you no less peace than if you knew for sure.”
She sighed heavily, figuring she might as well come clean. “But I’m scared of what I will find out.”
“We all get scared. What really counts is what the hell you do when you get scared.” He gave her a slight smile before raising his hand for Ellen. “Now what do you say we put your mother out of your mind for the time being and go back to your place?”
This time the smile reached her eyes. “I would like that.”
Even though she tried to put the situation with her mother out of her mind, Aaron could tell she was still worried in the limited conversation that they had in the car. Despite his best efforts, he was unable to truly engage her in conversation, so when they pulled up to the house, he wasn’t surprised she didn’t really want him to come inside.
“Do you mind if we just say goodnight here,” she said, looking everywhere but him.
She shouldn’t have been uncomfortable, especially given their make out session yesterday, but he moved to comfort her. “Yeah, baby, that’s fine.”
“Ok.” She seemed to sigh in relief before she realized what kind of impression she was giving him. She put her hand on his arm to reassure her. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I loved last night, and as much as I would love for you to come inside and continue where we left off, I am just not in the mood for it.”
“You don’t have to explain. I knew what you meant. How about we ju
st say goodbye in the car, and I will call you tomorrow.” He leaned in and kissed her tonight, sweetly laying his lips on hers.
It took about thirty seconds before Eva decided that wasn’t enough and opened her lips to him while she reached up and grabbed him on the side of the head. They never seemed to be able to take it slow, their kisses running hot the minute their lips touched. Aaron pulled her closer, trying to get her hips as close as he could despite the tight spot in the car. She assisted, half straddling him as she struggled to get all the way on his lap, pressing her thigh into his arousal. They continued to kiss until she moved to get more comfortable, accidently kneeing his dick with her knee.
“Oh shit,” he said, jerking his lips and pushing her to the side while he moved his legs together, trying to protect his dick.
“Oh my gosh!” She gasped, hands over her mouth, moving toward him to help but when he turned away from her to cup his abused penis, she backed away. “I’m so sorry; I don’t know how that happened.”
“It’s … ok …” he struggled to say, his face a surprising shade of red as he tried to breathe through the pain. She kneed the shit out of him, and the pain was horrible. He thought he was dying and wished that something would mercifully cut it off.
“Is there something I can do?” She looked lost, normally not kneeing a guy that she was trying to have sex with. The way he was acting, you would think she had crushed it.
“No, no,” he said, waving her off as he continued to take deep breaths in an attempt to help the constant shooting pain.
He rested his head on the window, cupping his penis and breathing deep for what seemed like hours but was probably closer to minutes before he felt like he could talk again. He looked at Eva to see her watching him wide-eyed, not knowing what to say.
“Ok,” he said, feeling like he could breathe normally and move gingerly without feeling like he should wish for death.
“How about we call it a night because my jewels can’t take any more attention tonight?” She laughed at his question, causing him to stare at her in wonder. “Are you seriously laughing at me? You did this!”
She grabbed his arm. “I’m sorry,” she said, still laughing, “I can’t help it. You look so sad, and I do feel bad. I have a feeling I am going to be very fond of that part, and I would never do anything to hurt it.” She blinked adoringly at him, and he laughed despite the pain because she looked so funny trying to make sure he wasn’t mad at her.
“Just know next time you hurt it, I will expect you to kiss it and make it better.”
She leaned in with her lips pressed slightly to him. “I would kiss it anytime to make it better.” She leaned closer and their lips connected in a whisper before she turned and left to go inside. Aaron was forced to adjust himself yet again, now uncomfortable for a completely different reason.
Eva didn’t even pause when she heard the crash from upstairs, something she had gotten used to in the last couple of days that Conner had been working. She had settled into a pattern of some sort, going through her mother’s stuff during the day as Conner worked on the bathroom, which still looked like someone had set off a bomb inside. After going through the letters the other night, none of her mother’s other belongings had anything that pertained to her. Even still, she felt like all the clothes, knickknacks, and journals that she read gave her insight into the woman that had birthed her. Her mother had an extensive travel journal, and reading about what she thought of different places while looking at the stuff she collected made her feel closer to her. Just by seeing the Gombey ragdoll she got in Bermuda, the pashmina from India, and the set of antlers she got from Jackson Hole, Wyoming, Eva began to see her as an eclectic person that enjoyed local flair wherever she went.
From the whimsical to the practical, she saw different shades of her mother in everything. She had a penchant for Royal Dalton dolls; Eva had found fifteen at last count, and she had yet to see if there were even more in the attic upstairs. One thing she could say about her mother, she had a lot of shit. It was going to take her at least two months just to get through it, and Eva started to wonder if her mother was a mini hoarder trying to fill the void that she was missing somewhere else with stuff. As she was going through another box of dolls, she stopped when her stomach started growling. She looked at the time, shocked to see it was close to 12:00. Eva had been at this for hours and only felt like she had made a slight dent in the stuff.
Oh well, I guess a lunch break is in order, she thought, with her mind immediately turning to what Aaron was doing. She had seen him a couple of times since dinner, but it was really quick because he seemed to be super swamped with work. She missed him, something she never thought she would do given the fact that she hadn’t known him that long and she was sick to death of all the damn prancing around. If she didn’t have sex with him soon, she would burst. Their kisses tended to burn hot, but every time she thought they would move it along something happened to interrupt them. She was getting to the point to where she just wanted to tie him down on the bed and not let him go until they got it done. She was irritated with all the stuff she had to deal with at her mother’s house, and on top of that she was sexually frustrated, cringing when she thought about how long it had been since she had gotten laid. Thinking about him and how nice it would be to get primed before their date tonight, she decided to bring him lunch. If she happened to find herself in a mid-afternoon make out session, she wouldn’t complain.
With her mind made up, she waved goodbye to Conner, who was in the middle of what he’d told her this morning was the plumbing rough-in, whatever that meant. She had no clue, nor did she care as long as it looked good and was clean when he was done with everything. She struggled to find the keys that seemed to get lost in the black hole of her purse, finally victorious as her phone rang, which meant another frantic search to see who was calling. She inwardly groaned when she saw Gwen’s name, knowing this would not be a quick conversation. Eva hadn’t heard from her since that original voicemail four days ago, and every time she called the phone went straight to voicemail.
“Hello,” she said, trying not to sound winded as she balanced her keys and tote while trying to open her door.
“Eva …” Gwen sobbed, immediately putting Eva on alert. Gwen never cried, it was so bad people often made jokes about her inability to shed tears, so Eva knew something was horribly wrong.
“What’s wrong?” her mind racing with worst case scenarios because Gwen just sat on the phone sobbing loudly.
“It’s Nick …”
“What happened to Nick?!”
“Nothing happened to that fucking asshole!” she screeched and sobbed. “I went to his job to surprise him and … and …” she continued to sob, making it difficult for Eva to make out all that she was saying, but a sinking feeling was taking over in the pit of her stomach.
“I saw him … with … his … secretary!” All those late nights trying to make “partner” made sense now, and it was apparent that my unease with the whole situation was not unfounded.
“Gwen, I’m so sorry. When?”
“Last week.” She seemed to have calmed down enough so Eva could at least understand what she was saying.
“I went to meet him after work, but I was a little early …” She paused to take a breath, as though she couldn’t keep going. “I didn’t think anything was wrong with that.” Gwen started crying loudly again, breaking Eva’s heart because she had never heard her this upset.
“Of course nothing is wrong with that,” she tried to reassure Gwen, “shhh … it’s ok.”
“It’s not ok! It will never be ok again! He was fucking her on his desk. And when he saw me, he didn’t even stop, he yelled…” she paused and composed herself “…that asshole yelled at me to get out!”
Eva gasped, outraged on her behalf. “Are you fucking kidding me?!” She was going to castrate Nick the next time she saw him, the bastard.
“Yes! With his assistant! How cliché is that? And here I am, the l
ittle wife sitting at home waiting for her husband, when he is fucking his old-ass secretary!” Eva couldn’t stop the laugh, regardless of how inappropriate or sorry she felt for Gwen.
“Wait, did you say his secretary?”
“Yes, that old bitch! She is like forty and married herself. I am so fucking tired, Eva, all I have been doing is crying for the past four days. He called me over and over, and I finally had to turn off my phone. I don’t know what to do; I just know that I need to get out of here. Do you mind if I come to you?” Eva took a mental inventory of everything she had to do and tried not to groan aloud. All she needed to add to the current craziness was Gwen and all her current issues, but she put on her big girl panties and decided to be a good friend. Besides, it would be pretty damn selfish for her to refuse Gwen’s request just because she felt like everything was spiraling out of control. Hell, Gwen was in the same damn boat and they could commiserate together.
“Of course you can come,” she said soothingly, barely avoiding the urge to cringe before getting over her selfishness. “When do you want to come?”
“Three hours.”
“Uh … I’m sorry, did you say three hours?” She mentally rearranged her schedule, running through the errands she planned to do before she had to be home for Gwen.
“Yeah, is that ok? I am not staying here any longer than I need to. I am literally going to run home, pack my shit, and hit the road. That asshole is at work—thank the Lord—so I will not have to run into his dumb ass. You know I have never been a violent person, but he made me want to beat the shit out of him the other day. Do you have a washing machine? I need to wash my clothes and haven’t been able to since I was at the hotel, and I am not even trying to stay long enough for him to come home and corner me. Although why would he? He has his work bitch with all the vagina he wants.”
There was the Gwen that Eva knew and loved. Once her mind was focused on something else, she just went with it full speed ahead, often because she was trying to avoid the problem. She had been doing it for years, and Eva knew that she was just trying to deflect attention from the problems within her marriage. But Gwen would have to face it soon, if not now then eventually, because she couldn’t just pretend her marriage didn’t exist. Her ability to change the subject on a dime often gave Eva whiplash trying to follow the many directions that Gwen’s conversations would take.