by Marie Garner
He smiled and reached for her. “Hey, babe,” which became an indignant “Hey!” After she poked him in the chest.
“Don’t ‘hey babe’ me.” She poked him again just for good measure. She went to do it again, getting pissed while thinking about her recent conversation, before he grabbed her finger and held her arm out. “I just spoke to Marcia.” His eyes widened at the name, and she balled up her fist to hit him before she remembered that he was holding her arm so she couldn’t hurt him. She had to lay off the tequila; it was messing with her right hook. “Were you with her last night?”
Aaron hesitated a little too much, and she could see that he didn’t want to answer. All the people at the table were watching their interlude, and she got pissed the longer he stood there.
“Well, I think that answers my question. Thanks for everything, asshole.” She grabbed her purse and tried to walk off as dignified as she could while still drunk. She may have stumbled the first couple of steps, but she gave herself a mental high five for staying upright. She didn’t know how she was going to get home, maybe a cab, when she heard Aaron running after her telling her to wait. Yeah, right, she thought, and continued to walk into the summer heat before she was jerked back with the hand on her arm.
She tried to pull her arm away, but he had an iron grip. “Hey! Get the hell off me! Just because you are fucking two different women doesn’t mean you can manhandle me! Don’t get mad because you got caught!”
He turned her around to face him, gripping her shoulder and shaking her. “What the fuck are you talking about? I am not fucking two women, trust me, the one I have right now is enough.”
She shook out of his grasp, wiping the tears she started to fall. “So you weren’t with her last night?”
He scrubbed his hands over his face, brown eyes pleading for understanding. “She came over to the house, yes, but nothing happened. Where the hell is this even coming from?”
She continued to cry, unable to stop the tears that flowed. “I talked to your slut in the bathroom and she told me how she was with you last night. She also told me that you would be coming back to her after I leave.”
He grabbed her, pulling her face into his chest and stroking her hair to calm her down. “She’s wrong. I couldn’t do that if I wanted to, not when I am falling in love with you!”
Eva stepped back, unsure about how to proceed, wiping her face with the heel of her hand. Love? What the fuck? She was definitely feeling something for him, but love? It was too much and she couldn’t process the information.
“I am too drunk to have this conversation,” she said, because she didn’t want to deal with his confession and she really was too drunk for this. She just wanted to lie down, drink some water, and pass out until tomorrow. Her statement seemed to affect Aaron too, who reached for her. She went willingly, lifting her head for a kiss.
He held her face, kissing her cheek. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. Let’s get you to bed. We can talk about this tomorrow.” Although it was a partial cop-out, she just nodded and let him lead her to his car. She didn’t want to think about his budding feelings, or what she was going to do when summer was over. He was just supposed to be hot sex, but he was turning into a bigger complication than she had ever imagined.
Eva thought that death would feel better than the drummer boys that were beating in tandem on her head. She moaned in pain as she buried her head under the pillows and wondered why she drank so much. She was always one to have a good time, but she usually didn’t overdo it. Then she remembered the massive amounts of shots that were poured down her throat by the girls. They drank for everything, because Aaron had a girl they liked, because Addie was off today, because Ash was out of Bryan’s life. You name it, they celebrated it with a shot. Eva just didn’t remember that she shouldn’t do the same until it was too late.
“You’re awake.” She jerked at that voice then remembered why that was a bad idea when she clutched the side of her throbbing head.
“Unh,” she grunted, because who needed words when you couldn’t even think? She did turn around to look at Aaron, who was standing there smiling with a mug in his hand.
She reached out to grab the mug and tried to remember what happened last night. It came back as she sipped the warm, comforting liquid. The bar, Marcia, their mini fight, him screaming that he was falling in love with her. If she had been halfway sober, she would have realized that Marcia was probably lying, but she was a bit too upset. Plus, he had admitted that he saw her two nights ago, which really pissed her off. She knew their relationship was complicated, but was it too much to ask that he respect her enough not to be screwing his ex?
“So … Marcia?” Eva figured it was like ripping off a Band-Aid, and the quicker they talked about it, the quicker they could clear the air. And she could decide whether whatever they were doing would continue. But she really wanted it to continue, so she hoped he didn’t piss her off.
“What I was trying to tell you yesterday was that I am not with Marcia. I haven’t seen her romantically for months, and I definitely haven’t slept with her in months.”
“But you said—”
He stopped her with his hand on the side of her face, rubbing his thumb over her cheek.
“I said she came over. I didn’t tell you what happened. It was late and she came by asking about some stuff that I am working on for her. I know that sucks, but I can’t tell you what we talked about because I am technically her lawyer. I will say, in the effort of full disclosure that she had been by the office within the last couple of weeks and basically tried to seduce me.” So maybe Eva didn’t want to hear this, because that meant that bitch was trying to take her man when they had just started to get serious. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think anything of it, but it is ridiculous that she cornered you in the bathroom and tried to make it seem like we have more going on than we do.”
“But she said when I am gone …”
He pointed at his chest. “I am telling you she is wrong. Even if you weren’t here, which you are, there is no way that I am going to go back to her. That was over a long time ago, and I told her that the other day when she came to the office. I don’t want to lose you over bullshit, which is what she is trying to spread.”
Eva thought about it and did find it a bit off that she would confront her in the bathroom. Aaron seemed like a straightforward person, and she knew that if he wanted to see Marcia, he wouldn’t string her along. She hadn’t known him for very long, but something told her that wasn’t his style.
“I don’t know why, but I believe you. She threw me last night; I mean, I was really drunk. And then we started fighting and you dropped the L-word.”
He scratched the side of his head and blushed, an adorable sight that she didn’t think she would ever see. “Yeah … about that. I didn’t mean to blurt that out without thinking. That was just poor planning. I wasn’t lying when I said I think I am falling in love with you, but I shouldn’t have said it like I did.”
He looked so cute being embarrassed that she couldn’t help but lean up and kiss him, which didn’t end in the gentle kiss she had planned. He palmed her face as he towered over her, guiding her back down onto the bed while he leaned over her and kissed her. She loved the feel of his weight on top of her and rubbed her hands up and down his back in slow strokes before she moved them to his head to touch his silky strands.
Aaron kissed his way down her neck, and as much as the mind wanted, the body wasn’t willing. She let him play with her breasts for a couple of minutes as he sucked on one nipple before biting it lightly. Then she put her hand on his head and tugged lightly to get his attention. He popped his head up, aggrieved to be interrupted, but took one look at Eva’s face and knew he was not going to be getting any today.
“Babe…” she rubbed the side of his face, kissing his cheek lightly as she rubbed her leg slowly up and down his calf “…as much as I would love to have sex with you, my head is killing me and I am so damn hung
over I want to curl up in a ball and pray my stomach doesn’t upend itself.”
He laughed, rubbing his nose down her face. “I kinda figured when I looked at you and saw you turning green.” He kissed her, rocking his body against her one more time before lifting himself up on his elbows. “Do me a favor next time and lay off the tequila.” He left the bed, unashamed of his nakedness and clearly aroused as he walked into the bathroom, presumably to take care of himself.
“You got it, boss,” she muttered slightly before getting up and looking for her clothes after she heard the shower turn on. The only thing worse than not getting any was trying to find her clothes from last night, but you would think that she would be able to find them since all she did was strip and go to bed. After her hunt, she realized her outfit was not going to work, and borrowed one of his T-shirts and some sweats before going downstairs to wait for Aaron.
Eva didn’t have to wait long before he came in ready for work. As much as she loved seeing him a polo and jeans, he looked amazing in his button down and dress slacks. He took in her outfit and smirked, but she read the glint of possession in his eyes seeing her in his clothes. He kissed her quickly and they were off, his promise to bring her home before he headed to the office.
A hurried kiss and a promise for dinner was the only thing she got when he dropped her off, and she couldn’t help but think about how he was already starting to treat her like an old girlfriend. She shook her head, happy despite feeling like crap and wearing borrowed clothes, but the happiness was short lived when she walked into the house and saw the bags by the stairs. Those were Gwen’s bags, but she didn’t know why they were packed before she heard Gwen call out to her from the living room. Gwen was sitting, playing with her phone, when she looked up and greeted Eva.
“Hey.” Eva didn’t really know what she wanted her to say, but she knew what was coming. “I saw the bags.”
“Yeah.” Gwen shook her head in affirmation. “I waited until you got home, didn’t want you to think that I was just leaving.”
“Why are you going? You’ve haven’t even been here a full week, and I know that you haven’t made a decision yet. Or have you?” she asked, wondering about Gwen’s offhanded remarks and whether she was actually going back to the asshole.
“No, that hasn’t changed; it is just time to go home. Don’t get me wrong, this was great, but I can’t just pretend like my life isn’t a shit storm somewhere else. I talked to Nick last night, he has moved out into an apartment to give me time.”
“Why can’t you do that here?” Eva didn’t know why, but she didn’t want her friend, her lifeline, to leave.
Gwen gripped her shoulders, looking her in the eye. “It’s time. For me and for you. I know that you are getting along, but you have to face all the stuff about your mother. Read the letter. I know you haven’t since I have been here. I am going to go home and sort my shit out, and you need to do the same.”
Eva wanted to protest, but she knew that Gwen was right. She did need to go home and figure stuff out, and Eva needed to find out the truth about her mother. It was time, but damn Gwen for raining on her parade. She nodded meekly as she followed Gwen to the front and hugged her.
“Nice outfit by the way …” Gwen gestured to her borrowed clothes. “Make sure you give him a real shot.”
Eva gaped at her. “What does that mean?” She always gave every relationship a chance. Gwen raised her eyebrows, unfazed by her reaction.
“It means exactly as it sounded. Don’t find anything wrong with him.”
“Whatever. Give me a hug.” They hugged again, squeezing tightly because they knew that they were going to have to shoulder through their stuff alone, and she bid Gwen farewell as Gwen packed up her car to leave.
Eva stood there, thinking about Gwen’s strength and determination in her eyes, despite everything swirling around her. If Gwen could do it, so could Eva, but first she needed to shower and sleep off this hangover.
Eva showered, cleaned, ate breakfast, and slept. She piddled around in an effort to avoid the inevitable. She finally went to the office and stared at the offensive envelope, knowing that she couldn’t put it off any longer. She grabbed it and went into the living room to collapse on the couch. Thankful for small favors, she was glad that Conner didn’t work on Saturdays, so she was alone while she read the letter. Here goes nothing, she thought before ripping it open. It was over two pages long, front and back, and she didn’t know what to do but start at the beginning.
Dear Eva,
If you’re reading this then I know that I have died, and I am sorry that I didn’t get the chance to get to know you while I was alive. My fault, I know, and nothing to do with you and everything to do with my own insecurities and fears. Maybe if I was stronger, I wouldn’t have caused you pain, both while you were younger and now, but I have never been known for my strength. I know that you must take after your father in that regard, as he has shared many tales about all the amazing things that you have done and endured throughout your life. I am sorry to have missed all the things in your life, but I always watched from the sidelines, and your father was more than willing to give me information, more than I had any right to ask for.
You have to understand, I loved you more than anything in the world. The best thing in the world was when the doctor handed you to me after you were born. I always wanted a daughter and promised you that I would do the best by you despite everything. Life was great for a couple of years. Your father and I were doting parents, and we decided to expand our family. I got pregnant with your brother soon after your second birthday, and we couldn’t be happier. Don’t get me wrong, we had our problems, but I always knew that we would work through them for our family. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had decided to hang some Christmas decorations. Your father told me not to, partially because the pregnancy had been so difficult and I had been ordered to stay in bed. I didn’t listen, and I am sure you know what it is like when you know best and your stubbornness kicks in—another trait I heard you inherited from me. Well, I was on the ladder, and you were playing in the living room. I don’t know what happened, I guess my foot slipped and I fell. It was horrible, I could feel something shift, and I felt the blood between my legs. You started crying, I couldn’t speak, couldn’t comfort you, and I knew that my baby was dying.
My foolishness led to the death of my baby, and I couldn’t take it. Your father was so great, he didn’t blame me for the baby, and we really tried to put the pieces back together. He told me that we could start trying again for a baby when I was ready, but I just couldn’t do it. I started drinking heavily because I couldn’t get a handle on my life. I knew that I needed help and your father even pointed out that you were still there to care for, but I couldn’t help myself. That, however, is not how the story ends.
One day I was drinking, like normal, and I was holding you trying to get you to go to sleep. I was walking up the steps, and you were wiggling like normal, but I couldn’t hold onto you and you fell. You screamed and cried, clutching your arm, and I knew then I was no good for you. I called your father who took you to the pediatrician. Thankfully nothing was broken, but your arm was badly bruised. Your father met me at the door after the appointment, telling me that I either needed to get help or get out. I spent three months in rehab and really thought about everything that I had become. I had killed one baby because of my foolishness and almost broke your arm because of my carelessness. How could I continue to raise you?
I called your father and told him I wasn’t going back. He protested, told me that we could work it out, but I knew that I just couldn’t do it anymore. What was I going to do if something else happened to you in my care? I could hardly face myself because of what happened to your brother. I didn’t want to have to deal if something else happened to you. I did what I thought was best, regardless of what other people thought. And when your father found your stepmother and you had latched onto her and called her ‘Mom,’ I knew I had made the right ch
oice. I will always be your mother, but sometimes the hardest part of being a mother is knowing when to let go. I let you go thinking it was best, and maybe it wasn’t, but I couldn’t see beyond my own pain and all the stuff I had put you through during your young life. I am truly sorry and hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me. I know if you are anything like your father and mother (and yes, I consider your stepmother your mother) you will. I will always love you and tried to do right by you. I hope that this gives you some closure, if not peace. I love you.
Love,
Elizabeth
(Your first mother- who gave you to another to allow you to grow)
Eva finished reading the letter, tears streaming down her face the whole time. She couldn’t imagine the desperation that her mother must have felt to feel her life spiraling out of control. If anything, it gave her a greater appreciation of her mother. And yet she couldn’t help feeling anger at everything. At fate, at life, at her mother, at her father, you name it and she was probably mad. All she could think was to get to her parents and blindly dialed the number she knew by heart.
“Dad,” she cried when he picked up the phone, “I need to come home.” She finished the phone call, providing enough details that he wouldn’t worry too much, and left to go home.
Aaron tried to give Eva space, and let her have time with her family, but he was worried. When he got the text from her a couple of nights ago cancelling their plans, he immediately called to see if she was ok. The tearful conversation killed him, and knowing that he was unable to help her through her pain was more than he could bear. He had given her time, allowed her to try and work through it with her parents, but he was slowly going crazy. That was the main reason why he was at Bryan’s house tonight; he wanted to go bother someone else so he wouldn’t lose his mind at home.