by Carol Gould
‘What he does – he goes off on these trips, and drives tarts about in fancy cars. He comes home and smells of them. You aren’t too young to know about this, Cal. Your father had all his faults, you know, but at my age – to have to put up with the scent of fancy ladies.’
‘How do you know – their perfume?’
‘No, my love – a wife knows, like that mother cat over there. Instinct, or some such thing. They’re not the sort who’d wear perfume – more mannish like.’
‘What are you saying?’
‘It hurts, Cal – these girls are pilots.’
‘Rubbish, Mum!’ He was shouting and felt as if she were a stranger casting aspersions on his proudest loyalties. Had he not felt that ATA people belonged to each other, pledged to protect one another and do a job no human had done before at the expense of home, lover and child?
‘Our girls aren’t tarts – not any of them! Besides, they’re all too busy working. Just last week, a few days before her wedding, Marion Wickham did three major ferry trips in ten hours. Delia and Stella were flying all over the place and Angelique was dropping with fatigue. There aren’t enough of them to go around – and I can tell you, Mum, there’s none of the new recruits are cheap slags. Not one—’
A smack as hard as anything he had ever felt from his father’s belt stung into his face and he thought he would lose his sight. His hands shot up as if to press eyeballs back into place and he rose to his full stature.
‘What was that in aid of?’ he asked, staring stonily at Bridie.
‘Someday you’ll understand what a woman goes through. I curse your flying ladies every day. They are no-good, drunken slatterns without a fibre of morality in their thick skins. Edith Allam, Sally Remington, Barbara Newman – I’ve heard about them all.’
‘Sally Met!’ Cal exclaimed, laughing.
‘Is that what they call her? How many men call her by funny names then?’
‘She’s our Met Officer,’ he said, wiping his face with a perfume-laden handkerchief he had taken from Marion’s car after her wedding.
Bridie looked her son up and down with a suspicion she had never held for him before.
‘You had better go before your father returns.’ As she spoke voices could be heard. In strode Joe, his face animated as Alec followed on his heels looking enraged yet nervous.
‘Bloody ignoramus,’ Joe snarled, oblivious to Cal’s presence.
‘Your boy’s here, Joe,’ Bridie said, her eyes now a blank screen between features.
Joe did an about-face, his gaze meeting Cal’s.
‘Here’s a pretty sight, then,’ he said, leaning against the sink drainer.
‘I’m not staying, Dad.’
‘So your friend said.’
Alec had composed himself, and stood to attention as if before a tribunal.
‘Mum, Dad, this is Alec Harborne, real RAF Retired – now ATA, and my tutor.’
‘Tutor in what, I ask you?’ Joe moved across the room and pressed against Alec’s torso.
‘As I tried to tell you on our way in, the wee lad has impressed my wife with his prowess in the air.’
‘What other prowess?’ Joe demanded, his voice grinding against the thick, putrid atmosphere.
‘He’s a good boy, Joe,’ Bridie whispered.
‘I’Il tell you precisely, if you really want to know,’ said Alec evenly. ‘Unlike the ferry pilot, who seldom flies enough hours on any one type either to reach the sublime state of being in unity with his mount or to know its dials and knobs blindfolded, this boy will have one wedded mate, an aircraft he will come to read like a spouse.’
‘I’ve never heard of a man leaving his bride on his wedding day to go off somewhere with a young lad.’ Joe was becoming agitated, and he was shouting into Alec’s face.
‘War has that effect, sir,’ Alec said, smiling.
‘I’ve a mind to keep my boy here,’ Joe snapped.
‘Dad!’ Cal screamed, moving to the door. His father was fast upon him, gripping his arm with a twisting, burning cruelty that made the boy cry out. Alec pounced on Joe, pushing him away and wresting Cal from his grasp. In the corner, the kittens squealed and Cal broke away from Alec, darting to the box and overturning its contents, the mother cat’s howl reverberating against the four ugly walls.
‘Bloody devil himself, you are,’ cried Bridie, crawling on her knees on the filthy, greasy floor to gather up the frail newborns, thrusting them against their mother’s agitated breast. Red, swollen teats on the cat’s upturned underbelly seemed to glare at Cal. He ran from the room and raced for the car, locking himself inside and hiding on its warm floor. He dreaded the sight of his father tearing out of the house to pursue him with the usual beating, but as his heart pounded and guilt at the memory of the distressed animals rose in his overworked heart he wanted to cry at the sound of the car door opening.
Alec was there, and Cal no longer wanted his mother.
He wanted to travel, and to meet other people’s mothers. He wanted to leave this horrible legacy behind. He wanted to love, and he agonized to imagine the girl who was his own private picture as some loose woman turning tricks in the back of Lord Beaverbrook’s car. Jo Howes had been left in peace by the men on the base and if she were not pure, as Cal thought, then could it be everything was the opposite of what it seemed, and Hitler not so bad?
40
This pilot was overjoyed when handed a Heinkel Transport, knowing it would be one less aircraft destined for conversion from passenger to bomber class. Her cargo had been paid for and was causing no problems so far, but she dreaded the turbulent entry into airspace over the English Channel. Once an ace, Vera Bukova had flown thousands of hours in her lifetime and had trained fighter pilots whose medals were a legacy of her teachings, but now she had to be doubly vigilant as the years eroded her brilliance. Soon she would have to retire, but not before transporting the Kranz family to be reunited with Friedrich in England.
There had been innumerable delays in this mission, and for some weeks she had doubted the Jewish cargo could ever be collected from the ghetto and herded to the airfield. By the time they had managed to escape she had made another sixteen trips ferrying refugees to Romania. Her inebriate husband hated her, after a while, and in recent days had become alcoholically violent. She was pleased to be airborne virtually all her waking hours. Every time she arrived at Bucharest the same Romanian soldier, Ludo, harassed her about the cargo and spat out racial obscenities, but always waved at her and smiled as she taxied.
When she had brought the Kranz cargo in to Bucharest, Ludo had asked about Hana – he remembered hearing something about a boy called Benno who had appropriated the golden girl’s affections and he wanted to know of her again. Vera made cheery excuses, saying Hana was on holiday, for she dared not reveal the truth about her daughter’s perilous journey to Allied shores. Ludo seemed exceptionally anguished and she wanted to tell him something more concrete about Hana – could he write to her? a postcard? – but her cargo needed transporting and her secrets needed preserving. Her tired, aging brain felt an enormous strain and she very nearly invited Ludo to come along for the ride to Britain, her exhaustion bringing momentary madness to a terrifying scenario. Everywhere around them refugees – some once rich and brilliant and now with nothing, some poor but becoming brilliant in adversity – begged for a place on air transports, but her package of people was paid for …
‘These are my special Jews.’
‘I’m impressed,’ said Ludo, circling the aircraft.
‘If they were my own family I wouldn’t let them all travel on one flight,’ she said. ‘The father’s instructions were specific: they must go together.’
‘You will wear your own parachute, and if something happens, bail out.’
Vera looked into the soldier’s dull eyes. ‘What about them?’ she asked.
‘If on land, they will perish. But if on sea, like flotsam they will rise to the top.’
‘You’re a poet, Lud
o.’ Vera checked inside her holdall to see if her belongings were in order, and she ran her hands along the sides of her flying suit as if frisking herself.
He smiled. ‘When will I be seeing Hana again?’
‘I hope to bring her here on my next trip, Ludo,’ she replied, studying his face more closely.
Ludo scratched his head, poking his finger underneath a soiled cap. He looked at the aircraft, which rested in the small, muddy field unnoticed amid the usual din of confused refugees and even more bewildered officials, all of whom, deep down inside, yearned for safe refuge too.
‘Anyone who helps these worthless people without being asked will be a traitor,’ he said. ‘Everywhere in the world, Hitler will be the owner and the citizens his guests. Doing something out of the ordinary will be treason.’
She gazed at him with thoughts of Hana surging through her mind, and could not control an urge to squeeze his burly arm before turning towards her aeroplane and joining the cargo.
Vera shut her eyes and thanked the Guardian Angel of Aviators for the commotion that had distracted all the officials present on this day, allowing her to leave Bucharest without a proper inspection of papers. There was an atmosphere of excitement inside the Heinkel, but she was irritated that the cargo insisted on speaking German, with which she had always had tremendous difficulty. Vera concentrated on the controls of her aircraft; the Heinkel had been lovingly designed by the race she hated, and she had to admit the specifications created a machine unlike any other she had ever piloted. When she landed in Britain, there would be joy all around: here was a technical masterpiece their geniuses could dissect.
She allowed the engines to roar with pride, skirted the runway and made a dangerous ascent, barely missing the tops of cottages peppering the village. Benno Kranz was sitting next to her now, as she manoeuvred the magnificent aircraft well out of Romanian airspace and on a course for the rain and the pallid men of England.
Were there any real men left there? Or anywhere?
Vera convinced herself that this mission had been performed for Hana. During Friedrich’s visits to the ghetto, the well-dressed boy had practised his Polish with her daughter and developed a bond: he had told her about the Dybbuk and afterwards his father had berated him for scaring the girl. Hana had laughed – she was a woman and a pilot, and she was never scared – and on Benno’s next visit she had told him the story of Our Lady of Czestochowa. It was not meant to frighten, but he had been terrified.
Listening now to the women talking, she glanced around and noticed their fair hair and small features: they could easily have stayed in Austria or in Poland, blending in with the Aryan population. Was it their intensity that made them different? Suddenly she recognized a few words: Kranz’s mother was drifting into Polish, and she wanted to talk to them all.
‘How long is it since you saw Dr Kranz?’ Vera shouted, mouthing her words slowly.
‘Ages!’ his wife replied, her Polish perfect.
‘All this time I thought you spoke only hoch Deutsch!’ Vera yelled, as the engines gained a happy momentum.
‘My mother speaks five languages fluently, and she once played a violin concerto and a piano concerto all in one symphonic concert!’ Benno announced, staring straight ahead.
‘You people seem to undertake ruthless goals,’ the pilot responded. ‘There is never a sense of fun. Have you ever thought of getting drunk and being ridiculous?’
There was a silence as all four Kranzes exchanged guarded looks.
‘How could we allow ourselves to get drunk?’ Frau Kranz asked testily. ‘What do you think would happen to us?’
‘When you get drunk, you get drunk,’ Vera said.
‘Does your husband?’ asked the old lady.
‘My husband? Yes, he does.’
‘When?’
‘When he comes back from your ghetto.’
‘My husband could never get airborne,’ murmured Vera, ‘so he hates, and therefore he drinks.’ Then she noticed the permanent pout on the face of the younger Kranz daughter. ‘Do you miss your father?’ she asked the girl.
‘He didn’t have to leave,’ she replied lifelessly.
‘I’m not quite sure why he did,’ Vera said, pleased to be as relaxed as a passenger in this aircraft.
‘England had an attraction for my handsome man,’ said the younger Frau Kranz. ‘He thought the British might want his aeroplanes, but I suspect it has turned out to be a wasteland for him.’
‘All I know is that his money has reached me and I have been able to bribe half of Poland to get this aircraft. You are aware of what contortions I have had to endure to smuggle you out of bondage and into the air.’
‘Our life was not bondage,’ snapped Friedrich’s wife.
‘Are you suggesting it will be so in England?’
‘Inside her head is bondage,’ Benno whispered, his face darting a swift look at Vera and then returning its intent gaze towards the heavens.
‘You have an old man’s head,’ she whispered back, her hand reaching sideways and taking his. It was icy cold. Did he fear his own bondage in the hours to come? Was every country another potential prison to these Jews, these people who rejected Christ and worshipped the dismal solitude of scholarship?
‘Fires ahead!’
Vera’s heart jumped. The boy was shouting in Polish and she understood.
‘Don’t worry,’ she said, astonished that the flames had come up on the horizon so quickly and that the smoke could so completely block her vision. She took an immediate course away from the conflagration but at once realized the nightmare was everywhere. In the back of the aeroplane the four women – Kranz’s wife, his daughters … his mother – had gone strangely silent, and as the smoke began to seep into the massively insulated fuselage of the most advanced aircraft in Europe, Vera pondered the absurdity that after thirty years of perilous flights she might suffer the indignity of being asphyxiated. Why had she not brought masks for her cargo? She remembered the huge book that accompanied the Heinkel had mentioned something about it being equipped with its own ultra-modern oxygen goggles that were supposed to drop from the ceiling. She reached behind her, straining to touch the fuselage above, but there were only gaping crevices.
‘Please see if there are masks anywhere above you – hanging from the ceiling!’ she shouted, all the while trying to steer out of the hellish blackness. Any moment she knew she would strike another aircraft or career into the hard, life-ending ground. She had lost her bearings and the sheer power of the enormous Heinkel Transport seemed to be driving her, its propellers still healthy as if defying the smoke like an infant defying exhaustion and crying long into the night. One of the women was crying, but now Vera could only hold on to every second, stiffly contemplating the inevitable impact and feeling gratified she had not had time to acquire an affection for her cargo. Everywhere was blackness and now the engines were spluttering. Unbelievably, in a few short moments both had cut out. She was gliding, and the immense grace of the aircraft enabled Vera to guide it through its last moments without noise or tremors or terrible somersaults. There was no noise: she turned to the boy in the seat alongside, and he was looking at sepia-toned photographs. He handed one to her, and as they spun faster towards earth, she saw in the corner of one the celebrated signature:
Fischtal.
Suddenly the engines came back to life, and they were climbing, but when the blackness cleared Vera’s heart sank and the horror of what lay ahead made her spine harden and her thoughts of Hana and of picture albums stop with this vision of calamity. This was not Switzerland, nor was it Scandinavia or any other gateway to Vera’s own special brand of treason …
Friedrich Kranz’s wife gasped as the aircraft landed on a beautiful stretch of green, its wheels skidding and Vera praying that she could pull the machine back under control and be airborne again. Her cargo of women gathered up their belongings as if they knew they were not meant to leave the earth again and as Vera struggled to steer the giant tr
ansport into a takeoff position a loud banging made the boy cry out, and he reached for the pilot whom at this moment he saw only as a soft, round woman. Banging was reverberating within and Vera could no longer think, the awful sounds from every angle outside now penetrating their stifling cabin. Benno stood up. He imagined he could see the tops of helmets. There had been banging in the Ghetto, and he remembered the tops of helmets that had tumbled from pickup trucks and herded old ladies out of houses. Now Vera was working the engines to fever pitch, but there was an even louder, more terrible bang and the aircraft lurched, only to sink down into the mire.
41
One element of Noel Slater’s personality had caught Sam Hardwick’s attention, so much so that he had begun to suffer sleepless nights in its wake. He had never before encountered an aggressive young man whose background had been as deprived as his own, defying the rules of lower-class obedience. Lying alongside the woman who had borne him three neutral characters of the male sex, Sam had speculated that Slater awoke aggressive, ate his first meal with aggression, lived out each day as the total aggressor, and did not ever love. That was the aspect which fascinated Sam the most – had Noel sacrificed his heart for an ambition that by the end of every twenty-four-hour period was replete? In the mornings Noel would most certainly be an empty shell needing replenishment, other humans being the bollards he had to knock over to achieve it.
Neither Sam Hardwick, nor his sons, nor any man he had met in his limited life, had resembled this mere boy, who had taken an adult twice his age under his tutelage and begun to mould him into a fresh creation. Had Sam taken a mistress, the patchwork symmetry of his home could not have gone more askew.
War meant that men of his age would be allowed to learn to fly for a few shillings an hour and to ferry simple craft; when the RAF needed every pilot in the country, men like Sam would be allowed to fly more dangerous machines into the war zone and across the Atlantic. Noel wanted Sam to learn everything. They had lived through 31 August 1939, the last day on which civil aircraft had been allowed to fly, a day on which Maylands had been full of youngsters eager to join Air Cadets. But Noel took no notice of the Cal Marches of this world when he could have malleable antiquity in the person of Sam Hardwick, and be father to the man.