He pushed his angry face close to my chill one. “Stay away from Lotus.”
“Or else, is that it?” I said, just to irritate him.
“Right, but I’ll add this in with my warning.” He hit me with a sucker punch that landed in my breadbasket.
It had some power. I expelled some air, but that one punch was all I let him have before I came at him. Shoving him off me, I sliced him with a perfect undercut as his arms went wide. It knocked his head back and stung my knuckles some as it connected with his jawbone.
“Fuck you,” I said, watching him swipe a smear of blood from the edge of his mouth. Must have bit his tongue. “Fuck you for disrespecting her. Fuck you for this high-handed bullshit. You got one punch in. I did too.”
Basic dive-bar etiquette. I’d had plenty of lessons in places like that out on my own.
“We’re even now,” I said, “but we’re not fucking band brothers or any of that shit.”
“Guess not.”
“Could’ve been before this bullshit play of yours.” I gave it to him straight like Lotus would. “You’re too fucking bossy, man. It grates. Not a good atmosphere for being creative as a band. You want more songs like Cork and I cranked out together, then you need to acknowledge that there are other people’s thoughts, feelings, and priorities in this band that matter besides your own.”
“I know that.” Saber’s eyes narrowed, darker brown than mine but without the green.
“Yeah? What do you know about me other than that you don’t want me near Lotus? Or about Cork, really, other than him being your girlfriend’s brother?”
Saber didn’t respond, but I didn’t expect him to. There was nothing he could say.
What does he really know about Lotus? He bossed her around like he did me and everyone in the band. Worse, he treated her like she was a thing, not a treasure.
“I don’t like you,” Saber said, working his jaw. “And you don’t like me. So, how do you propose we fix things so we can at least work productively together?”
His tone was different now. Letting off some steam seemed to have taken the edge off his anger. I could relate. He was my brother. We’d inherited the same temper from our piece-of-shit father.
“I don’t dislike you,” I said calmly, dialing back my anger, and that was the absolute truth. I just didn’t like Saber for her.
He scoffed. “Right.”
“We started off on the wrong foot. But there’s a big patch of common ground, us liking music and our freedom. Room for us to work together there.”
“I agree.” Saber nodded. “So long as you keep your distance from Lotus.”
“Brother.” I meant the endearment for real. He had a thing for her. I understood the fascination because it was one I shared. “Lotus isn’t something you own. She’s a person, her own person. It’s up to her who she wants to spend time with.”
I might not know a lot of shit about women beyond how to get them in my bed and make them happy for the short time they were there, but I did know Lotus.
He frowned. “You do understand that she’s with me.”
“Yeah,” I said. She was with him for now.
“Sorry I sucker punched you,” he said huskily, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “I’m going to let Lotus decide who she wants to spend her time with. Not because of anything you just said, but because I think that’s what she wants.”
He reached out and I clasped his hand, recognizing the gesture as a peace offering.
With Lotus out of the equation, I could grow to like my brother. He wasn’t perfect, but who was? But you had to admire someone who could swallow their pride and admit when they were wrong.
“Respect.” I lifted my chin and withdrew my hand from his.
“But don’t get your hopes up,” Saber said, giving me a hard look. “Or get the idea that spending time with her is going to give you a shot with her.”
I shook my head at him in disbelief. He just couldn’t resist getting in the last word.
“Remember,” Saber said. “Lotus chose me before and after she was with you. She and I are a done deal.”
Lotus
“TO THE SUNSET.” I raised my glass along with everyone else at the Deck Bar. As usual, my glass only held sparkling water with lime.
Each evening, everyone paused, employees and patrons alike, to acknowledge the sunset over the water. The display varied. Today, it was spectacular. Cotton-candy cloud streamers and a flaming ball of orange melded to a baby-blue sky over a dark navy sea.
“Cork is surfing circles around everyone out there,” Jeff said, pointing with his empty shot glass at the ocean. “Is that boy finally gonna start surfing competitively again?”
“No.” My denial was instant, though I wouldn’t go into the reasons with Jeff.
He was a nice guy, but he was only a coworker, not a confidant. He certainly had no way of knowing that by asking, he dredged up painful memories of the countless times where I had to be the grown-up, making the difficult decision to deny Cork something he loved so much. Competitive surfing was just too dangerous for my brother now.
“That’s too bad.” Jeff clucked his tongue. “He’s amazing out there. Makes the rest of the crew with him look like amateurs.”
Numb, I nodded, trying not to worry about Cork being out there on the water without me watching over him. Finally, I lost the battle I’d been waging with myself all day.
“Cover for me,” I said, tossing my bar towel on the counter. I slipped through the gap in the bar and almost ran to the windows. I had to get a better look.
“Sure thing.”
Jeff’s voice faded, replaced by the steady murmur of patrons and recorded music in the background. It was a miracle I could hear anything over the worried heartbeat slamming in my ears.
Stopping behind a couple sitting at the low counter beneath the ocean-facing windows, I scanned the surf. I found my brother, recognizing the flash of his blond hair and the effortless way he moved. Even from fifty yards away, I could practically feel his joy.
Cork needed his freedom. It was the right decision, letting him go with Journey. But knowing I was doing the right thing didn’t make it any easier.
“Lotus!”
I jumped to attention. The disapproval in my boss’s tone was becoming all too familiar.
“Not paying you to stand at the window, looking at the view.”
“Sorry, Mr. Macari. I got distracted.” I ducked my head and hurried back to my position at the bar.
My cheeks burned as I went to the sink and rewashed my hands. Turning back around, I could see my boss watching me, his arms crossed over his chest. I began working on a drink order while risking occasional glances out the window, trying to figure out who was with my brother.
His companions all looked like black blobs on the waves, except for one. Journey’s wide shoulders and cocky posture, even on his board, was unmistakable.
My heart did a little flutter—okay, a huge flutter. Yeah, I was falling for him, and it was more than just the fact that he and my brother got along.
With effort, I managed to set thoughts of Journey and worry about my brother aside. I needed to concentrate on my work. As I filled another large order quickly and efficiently, my boss finally turned away.
Able to breathe again, I relaxed into the familiar rhythm of my job. I spun back and forth between my customers and the wall of alcohol behind me, taking care of table orders at one end of the bar while filling and refilling drinks for those standing or seated along the rest of it. Bartending was a highly physical job, much like dancing. It involved finesse, showmanship, and being a good listener, as much as mixing drinks in the proper proportions.
Most evenings, I enjoyed it. But tonight, I was too distracted to fully relax into it.
I was pouring Cuervo into a row of shot glasses for a couple of SDSU students when I felt the dynamic suddenly shift inside the bar. When I turned my head in the direction nearly everyone else was looking, my jaw dropped.
/> A group of men stood at the hostess stand, waiting to be seated, my brother and Journey in front. Their hair wet and slicked back, they stood side by side, looking like friends—good-looking ones—who were comfortable together.
My brow creased. When had my brother gotten so handsome? And why hadn’t I noted it before?
It seemed like only yesterday that Cork was just an awkward gangly teenager. But now, he appeared older and more confident, at ease in his own skin.
Behind my brother and Journey, Ash and Diesel had an aura that required acknowledgment as much as the sunset did. They were superstars, local guys who’d made it big. But at the end of the day, they remained who they’d always been, surfers and OB natives through and through.
As the group filed into the bar behind a menu-toting hostess, Shield and Saber were last. Saber glanced my way, and I frowned at my so-called boyfriend.
Like the rest of the group, he was handsome, but his actions weren’t. I’d confessed and told him the truth—a truth I could have kept to myself—and he’d made me feel small. I knew that was mostly because he was jealous. It was awkward for him knowing it was Journey I’d slept with.
But it didn’t really matter anymore. It was over with Saber. What I felt now regarding him was mostly hurt and anger.
Sure, I experienced those emotions because I cared. It was going to take some effort to work out all my feelings for him. We’d been together a long time, but I wasn’t in love with him anymore. I couldn’t be and feel so much for Journey.
Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice Ash approach until he was right in front of me. A handsome guy with messy mop of sun-streaked light brown hair stood beside him.
“What’s up?” Focusing on Ash, I gave him a big smile. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“Not here to get a drink.” His eyes shimmered with a serious vibe, as did the rest of him. “I’m here to talk to you about your brother.”
“What about him?” I asked, instantly tense.
“Dude is insane on his board,” the other guy said, and I glanced at him. “Pro-level insane.”
I raised my brows. “And you are?”
“Koa Rossman.”
“Oh my gosh! I didn’t recognize you out of the water!” Gushing, I went full fangirl. “My brother loves you. He thinks you’re the best surfer in the league.”
“He’s nearly as good.” Koa gave me a cocky smile that I was certain made the surfer groupies lose their minds, as well as their bikini bottoms.
“High praise.” I shook my head. “Thank you.”
“You should bring him to my next tournament,” he said. “I’ll introduce him to people.”
“I can’t.” Regret clogged my throat.
“Why not?” He tilted his head. “He’s young. He needs to get after it.”
“Koa.” Ash jerked his chin up. “Go find us a table. I need to have a moment with Lotus alone.”
“Sure. Okay.” Koa answered Ash, but he was staring at me. “Nice to meet you, babe.”
“Nice to meet you too,” I said. “And thanks for the compliment and the offer to help my brother.”
“Just speaking truth. And the offer stands, an open invitation.” He swept his gaze over me. “You’re a beauty and sweet. I can see why you have two guys fighting over you.”
What the . . . What two guys?
Surely, he didn’t mean Saber and Journey. My soon-to-be ex wasn’t stepping up to hold on to me, and Journey wasn’t fighting for me. Or was he?
“Lotus,” Ash said, refocusing my attention. “Come talk with me. Take a break. Let’s go outside.”
“I can’t, Ash. I’m working, and I already got reprimanded once tonight. I need this job.”
His brows drew together. “I know you do. But maybe what I need to talk to you about can help with that.”
“I don’t understand.”
Ash opened his mouth to respond, then shut it as Saber’s voice blared out on the bar’s sound system.
“Hey, everyone! We’re OB Hardy.”
I glanced over to see him, Shield, and Journey onstage, along with someone else completely unexpected.
Cork.
“We have a new song to debut, and two new band members to introduce tonight.”
My mouth dropped open. Two? Does he mean my brother?
“What’s going on?” I whipped my head around to direct my question at Ash. “Why is Cork up there with your Fender strapped to his shoulder?”
“Your brother just got voted into OB Hardy. He’s their new bassist.”
“No.” I shook my head. “Impossible.”
“Not impossible because there he is.” Ash’s blond brows drew together. “I don’t know why I didn’t think to suggest a tryout. Journey and your brother were messing around, working on the new single, and Saber heard them. Ted came in and acted like an asshole. Then everything else just clicked into place with the others like it was meant to be.”
“It’s not meant to be.” My stomach churned and bile rose to my throat. This would be as hard or harder to refuse for Cork than the surfing. “You know the problems he has.”
“I do know.” Ash’s features firmed. “But I also know you have to let him at least try this. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“He can’t, Ash. I want his life to go back to normal. I want him to have everything he had before.” My fingers curled into fists. “But he can’t. You and I both know he can’t.”
Ash shook his head. “I think he can do this. I truly do. With any other label, maybe not, but I love him and you. You’re like family. Saber’s your boyfriend. Journey and Cork are friends already. Being bandmates will just add to that. I promise that I’ll get someone we can both trust to go out with them, if and when they tour. Cork will be okay. It will be okay. Maybe better than that.”
I shook my head. This was too much. I just let Cork go surfing for the first time without me, and Ash wanted me to consider this? I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.
“Don’t be afraid, Lotus. Take a chance.”
“Ash, please. If you care about me, don’t ask me to do this.”
“I do care.” He covered my hands with his and squeezed. “Just listen. Watch him up there and keep an open mind. That’s all I ask.”
Feeling sick, I nodded. “Okay.”
Ash took a seat in an empty bar stool in front of me. He turned his gaze to the stage, and so did I, along with nearly everyone else in the bar.
It was OB Hardy. We all knew them. They were good, a local band with a local sound. I could almost smell the ocean and hear it when they played.
Tonight was different. Tonight, there was some of that but more—so much more that I was blown away. I’d heard the song they played before, and it had been solid.
But the song was at a whole other level now, and it was because of a bass groove. It was catchy, carefree, and compelling, which was my brother’s personality captured in a tune. There was also a complementary guitar riff that was serious and sexy at the same time, and that was all Journey.
Even Saber sounded different. His voice was better and stronger with the addition of Journey’s vocals. Shield had added more snare to the song, a subtle addition. It was unusual for him to do anything subtle, but he was now, and I liked it.
From the opening chords to the closing ones, I listened. OB Hardy was polished and professional, delivering the best performance I’d ever witnessed.
And my brother looked like he belonged with them. His grin wide, he looked happier than I’d seen him look in a long time. Stunned, I realized that Cork must have just been going through the motions before. Like my father when my mother left him. Like I’d been doing for a long time.
I knew then what had been missing for Cork. It had been missing for me too.
Hope.
Hope for a brighter and better day in front of him, rather than behind. Cork had found hope up there with a bunch of guys, and a place to fit in.
And then I knew.
>
I couldn’t tell him no.
Storm
I KEPT MY eye on Lotus as she watched her brother during the performance. Her thoughts and emotions scrolled clearly across her pretty face like a slideshow.
Surprise. Pride. Then fear, which was quickly smothered by a determined resignation.
I’d wanted to talk to her about Cork being in the band, but Ash had insisted on doing it himself. Had he gotten through to her?
Cork’s performance should have done it all on its own. He was an accomplished musician and a natural. He had a feel for the music, but more importantly, he had a passion for it like he did about surfing.
Lotus had to know that and had to let him do this. But she was afraid. She’d been afraid earlier to let him go with me without her supervision. I understood that because I understood her. She wasn’t hard to read when it came to her brother.
We ended our short show after debuting the improved single. Though the crowd gathered in front of the stage called out titles, wanting to hear other OB Hardy songs, Saber told them we were through for the night.
Truth was, we couldn’t do a full set list. Not yet. We hadn’t rehearsed them together.
We had a long way to go as a band, but we were on the cusp of something. I could feel it, an electrical hum beneath my skin like hitting the perfect power chord. If we played this right, meaning if Saber could get his authoritative head out of his ass, we could be a really good group.
We?
Fuck.
The collective idea of a band had snuck up on me. Returning to Ocean Beach had gotten to me, awakening memories and longings I’d tucked away.
And Lotus had gotten to me.
From the moment I saw her in LA, I’d thought she was beautiful, sure, but she was also compelling and so refreshingly honest. The seeds for who she would become had been there all those years ago when she was just a kid.
Circumstances should have snuffed out all the good stuff. They had in me, but with her, they hadn’t. She was strong, resilient, and beautiful, exactly like the flower she was named for, only she wasn’t in the developmental stages anymore. Lotus was now in full bloom.
Storm Page 21