Lotus
“I PROMISE I won’t hate you,” I told Journey, committing to that as staunchly as I’d once committed to be Storm’s friend. “If your secret becomes known, I will lay my hand on your cheek. I will kiss your lips softly. I’ll remember this moment, and I’ll thank you for giving me what I asked for.”
Journey looked at me like I was crazy, and he was right.
I was crazy. About him.
“You want me to deliberately keep something from you,” he asked slowly.
“Yes, I do,” I said and glanced away.
I was desperate to keep this, to hold on to yet another something good that had come into my life, something that was about to slip away like everything else had.
“No expectations or pressure. If you want me in your bed, then I’m here. If you don’t, then I’m not. Okay?” I knew it wasn’t ideal, but I was determined to make the best beautiful life for myself that I could, even if it didn’t last.
Journey was quiet a long time. I glanced up to find him frowning. I was afraid he was going to turn me down, and my heart sank. But he threw me a lifeline.
“I don’t want you only in my bed. I want you around all the time,” he said, not just tossing me a lifeline to keep me from drowning, but reeling me in. “I want you involved in every aspect of my life. I want full access to your life, and you’ll have the same to mine. My door is always open to you. And to Cork. In fact, I’ll give you both keys.”
“Okay,” I said, my eyes wide.
“Good.” Journey gave me a firm nod. “I want full disclosure to your brother about us. He suspects already, but I want you to fill him in about what’s going on.”
“What is going on?” I asked in a whisper.
“Us.”
“Oh.” My lips parted in wonder.
“You have my agreement to your request.” He searched my eyes. “What’s your answer to all of mine?”
“Yes.” I didn’t hesitate. I wanted those things.
Journey’s frown turned into a slow grin. My heart fluttered, and other parts of me warmed.
I wasn’t completely unaware of the risk. Giving Journey full access to my life and Cork’s with his secret in the background was dangerous. It wasn’t only me that could be hurt. But I believed in the good I saw in Journey. I only hoped my faith in him wasn’t misplaced.
“Great.” He reached for me, his long fingers curling around my upper arms. “So, what should we do now? With both of us in bed and awake?”
He didn’t wait for a reply. Lifting me, he deposited me on my back in the center of his bed and stared down at me. His eyes were the color of earth made warm by the sun, the green flecks like new growth.
I reached for him, framing one side of his face in my hand. His whiskers were soft, his gaze softer. He stared at me in wonder as if I were a gift. He was to me, one totally unexpected.
It seemed that each of us had taken leaps of faith just now, bigger than we ever had before.
As I returned his perusal, words rose from my yearning heart. They teetered on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t speak them. A secret silenced, a promise given, I’d agreed to his requests. Now wasn’t the time or the place.
But I’d gained additional time. Maybe later there would be a better time and place for the words I wanted to say to him.
I glided my fingers across his beard and dove them into his hair. Tugging on the silky strands, I brought his handsome face, his tempting lips, and him closer.
“Lotus,” he said softly. “You’re so fucking hot.”
“You are,” I whispered, and he grinned.
His bicep bulged as he balanced on one arm and brushed my hair to the side. Revealing the halter tie at my neck, he undid it and peeled the loosened bodice down. Cool air rushed over my naked skin, but the appreciation in his gaze warmed me.
“Your skin’s so soft.” His eyes lifting, he held me spellbound as he touched me. Slowly, he drew with his thumb over the slope of one breast and then the other before circling my nipple. “You’re so sexy, so incredibly responsive to my touch.”
My mouth parting, I moaned. My back arched off the mattress as he circled again, only around the other nipple. Already tight, both throbbed from his touch. I moaned again, my lids fluttering as he rolled the tip between his finger and thumb.
Watching me closely, he moved to the other side and repeated the procedure. His twists sent fiery bolts straight to my clit. Back and forth, he alternated while watching me closely, seeming to note every hitched breath, every shudder, each moan.
“So pretty.” Drawing back, he took me in with hooded eyes.
My dark brown hair was spread over the white linen. My breasts were bare. My legs shifted.
“I want you, Journey.”
“Not as badly as I want you.”
Not believing that could be possible, I surrendered to the sensations he evoked. Dark, delicious, wet sensation as he put his mouth on me. Using the knowledge he’d gained watching me, he soon had me writhing. At the mercy of his firm lips, wet tongue, and the edges of his teeth, I was at a fever pitch of need.
“Journey, please,” I begged, my body desperate and hot.
“Please what?” He lifted his head, giving me a dark look.
“Please put your cock inside me.”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
His mouth curved, he shifted and kicked his boxers off. Snagging a condom packet from the nightstand, he rolled it on while I watched.
Pouting my lips, I said, “I wanted to do that.”
“Next time.” He grabbed the hem of my nightgown and flipped it up. “It’s my turn to do what I want to you.”
My hips in his eager hands, he brought me to him. As he aligned his cock, his thumb grazed my wet, slippery clit. Shimmers of fiery sensation spiraled through me. I was so close.
“Look at me,” he said firmly, and I did. His features were taut, his eyes shining. His sculpted lips parted with pleasure as he sank his cock inside me, claiming all that was his.
“You feel so good,” I murmured.
His cock was so thick and hard. All the emptiness inside me, he filled.
I ran my hands over his chest. Over the slabs of muscle. Circling the tan coins of his nipples. Sliding down the ridges of his abs to where we were joined. I wanted to absorb his heat with my fingertips and embed my desire in his skin, so that no matter what happened in the end, a part of me would always remain with him.
“No.” He grabbed my hands and lifted my arms, pressing my captured hands into the mattress over my head. “This time you take what I give.” Holding my gaze as tightly as he did my wrists, he started to move. “Watch. Feel me.”
Underscoring his words, he stroked in and out of me. With long, deep, purposeful thrusts and short, shallow withdrawals, he honed my desire to a razor’s edge.
“I feel you,” I said huskily. “You feel so good.” I lifted my hips, wanting to keep him deep, wanting him deeper, wanting him to never stop.
“Take more,” he said low as he went deeper, impossibly deep, and I gasped.
“Yes!”
Whatever Journey needed, I wanted to be. He was in control, yet he gave in to my command. He thrust harder and faster, his expression so hungry.
I was his to have. Lost to him, I greedily took what he gave and reveled in it.
“Don’t stop.” Lifting my hips, I strained for it.
Again and again, our bodies came together. His hard cock. My wet heat. Our passion unrestrained. Higher and higher, we went. We drove each other faster and faster to the edge.
He took us over it. His cock stiffening inside me, Journey threw back his head and let out a deep groan.
Impaled on his need, I came apart and flew.
But I didn’t fly alone. He flew with me.
Storm
“DON’T LEAVE. NOT yet.” My hands on Lotus’s bare shoulders, I pulled her back into me. As her delectable ass cradled my cock, it went hard again, even though I’d just
had her.
“I have to leave,” she said breathily, and I knew she felt me through her hastily donned, sexy-as-hell nightgown. “It’s late.”
She turned her head to glance out the window where the early dawn peeked through the metal blinds. Her long hair spilled over her shoulder.
“Stay,” I said. Brushing her long hair forward, I pressed my lips to the exposed skin at her nape.
“I’m tempted.” She shivered. “But I need to go to my place and shower, then I have a million things to do today.”
“Shower here with me.” I turned her around. “Full access to you and your life, you agreed. Remember?”
“I would love to stay.” She placed her hands on my chest, her eyes darkening. “I would love to shower and spend the whole day with you.”
My cock lengthened as her pearly white teeth sank into her full bottom lip.
“But I can’t,” she said.
“Let’s compromise.” I wanted her again. Needed her. Badly.
“How?”
“You shower with me, and I’ll help you with the things you need to do.”
“Any other day, I would say yes.”
Dropping her chin, she swept her thumb over my skin, right over my heart. It started beating faster. My heart was hers to command, as was my cock. Fully extended, it gave an eager bounce from its confined position between us.
“I want you to say yes now,” I said as petulantly as a teenager.
“I wish I could.”
When she circled my nipple, I captured her hand, stopping her as precum spurted from my slit. That was all it took. Just a little sensual caress from her drove me crazy.
“We’re an us, babe.” Wedging a finger under her chin, I lifted it.
I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to this. It was an ill-fated endeavor. The truth would come out, sooner rather than later, no matter what I did. Even now at the beginning, I could feel the clock winding down.
“We need to start this right,” I said. “Integrate our separate lives.”
“I need to talk to Cork.” Lotus’s brow creased thoughtfully. “Then I have to take care of the plants at Ash’s apartment. There’s also a launch thing at Outside. Maybe later, we—”
“Talk to Cork now,” I said quickly. “I’ll help you at Ash’s. That should free up some time so we can do breakfast, the three of us together.”
Her eyes brightened. To press my advantage, I lowered my head, aiming my mouth for her lips, but my cell rang.
“You should get that,” she said, yet she had her fingers tangled in my hair.
“Ignore it.”
I cupped her nape, lowered my head, and pressed my lips to hers. They were what they always were, petal-soft bliss. She parted them at my urging, and I groaned when the tip of her wet tongue touched mine. Turning her, I moved her back to the bed.
When my fucking phone started ringing again, Lotus moved her hands between us. Pressing then against my chest, she broke the kiss.
“You’d better get that,” she said huskily, her tongue swiping across her rosy lips.
“I don’t want to,” I growled.
The phone stopped ringing, only to start all over again.
Fucking hell.
“Fine! I’ll get the damn thing!”
As soon as I released Lotus, she backed away. It pissed me off, but I suppressed the anger and disappointment. I might not know shit about having a relationship with a woman, but I knew Lotus.
When we were kids and I got pissed, the few times I’d directed my temper at her, she hadn’t tolerated it. She stopped me cold. With others, I’d seen her react differently, attempting to deflect or smooth ruffled feathers, but not with me. She knew she didn’t have to bow to my will to please me. I was already pleased with her in every way. As best friends, we had a foundation built on mutual respect and love. I wanted that back, and I wanted the intimacy.
Turning from her, I snagged my phone from the nightstand and breathed in and out, getting my shit together before I turned back around. My lips parted, an apology on the tip of my tongue, but she was already gone.
“Fucking shit!”
“What the hell, dude?” Saber said in my ear.
“Not you.” I ran a hand through my hair, staring at the empty spot in my doorway where Lotus had been just a moment before.
“Who?” he asked.
Oh hell.
Raking a hand through my hair, I yanked a fistful. I wanted everyone to know Lotus was mine now, but I wasn’t a complete asshole. I didn’t want to rub my brother’s nose in the fact that he’d lost her.
“What do you need?” I said, deflecting, my voice gruff from the strain. I was accustomed to being alone. I moved from place to place, not forming attachments. Balancing the feelings and concerns of others wasn’t easy for me.
Saber was silent. “Lotus. You’re with Lotus. You’re an asshole.”
He was a smart guy. I should have known he would put things together.
“Yeah, man. I am.” I exhaled. “But I was trying to keep her out of things between us.”
“She’s in it. You’re in the group. Her brother is in the group.”
“So I guess you have a choice,” I said.
“Doesn’t feel like I have any choices.”
“It’s your group. Kick me out because of her, or be a fucking leader and let’s move past it. Do what we’re supposed to be doing, making some great music together.”
“Easy for you to say,” he grumbled. “You have her.”
“She holds all the cards, man. I don’t think anyone has her, unless she wants them to.”
“She doesn’t see it that way.”
My brows pulled together. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
“I know I am. I was with her a while.”
A while that screwed with her.
“Water under the bridge,” I said.
“So you think we can get past that and work together?” he asked, his tone incredulous.
“We can. I’m willing.”
Saber was my brother. If there was a way for this to work out where I didn’t lose everything and Lotus didn’t get hurt, I couldn’t see it. But blood was blood. That didn’t change, though I’d been gone a long time. Plus, my gut told me finding common ground with him was critical to everything.
“Okay. Let’s give it a try. But my band, my rules. We don’t talk about her.”
“Agreed.”
“Great. Fucking awesome,” he said with liberal sarcasm. “So, get your ass into the studio.”
“I had plans for today,” I said, then frowned.
Or I thought I did. I’d spouted some executive decrees, but Lotus had taken off without agreeing to them. Maybe I’d been an ass, trying to run things with her the way Saber had.
Fucking hell. I’d been doing exactly that, and I had to fix it.
“Ditch your plans,” Saber said. “Ash liked what he heard last night at the Deck Bar. We have a gig, a big one. Could be our break. Get the band the kind of exposure we need. We need to practice.”
“Oh yeah?” I asked. “What kind of break?”
“A concert in Huntington Beach after the surfing competition. Dogs are headlining. Ash put us in the lineup right before them.”
Lotus
SMILING, I WALKED into my apartment, dazed and thinking about Journey naked. He was so fucking hot, and so was that last kiss.
“Have a nice night out?” Cork asked, and I jumped back a step.
My eyes wide, I found my brother sitting on the couch, a knowing look on his face, a pillow beside him and a blanket around his trim waist.
“Yes, I did, actually.” My hand was at my throat where my heartbeats were only just now starting to slow. “How did you . . . why . . . I thought you were asleep when I left last night.”
“I was sound asleep. I didn’t even hear you sneak out.” He frowned. “Without your cell phone. I woke me up when your bestie drunk-dialed you.”
“What?” My brows rose.
“We’ll get to Sophia in a minute. First things first. I know you’re my guardian and the older sibling, but you shouldn’t go anywhere without your cell.”
Chastened, I nodded. “You’re right.”
“I didn’t know where you were, but I guessed, and decided not to interrupt you. Given that you’re in your nightgown and wearing a smile, I’m thinking that was the right call on my part. Was going downstairs and spending the night with Journey the right thing for you?”
“Yes.” I nodded again.
“Are you going to tell me about it?”
“Scoot over,” I said in lieu of an answer.
I skirted the coffee table and Cork sat up, moving his blanket out of the way so I could have a seat. The worn-out springs on the couch protested when I sat down. It was old, salvaged from an alley back when our father had been alive, but I wouldn’t exchange it for new, even if I could afford new since it reminded me of him.
“I can’t believe you went downstairs in your nightgown.” His expression incredulous, Cork shook his head. He sounded and looked like a serious old man, except he was only seventeen, and his blond hair was smushed on one side of his head.
“I wasn’t thinking about cell phones or proper attire.” My gaze met his. “I wasn’t thinking much at all. But I needed someone, and Journey was there for me. We talked about us, and he wants to be there for me and you, for a while at least.”
Cork tilted his head. “Why only a while?”
I scooted closer. Suddenly cold, I wanted to be closer to the one person who had never abandoned me.
“He has a secret. Something not good. He’s tried to tell me a couple of times.” My gaze turning unfocused, I remembered the look on his face and shivered, wrapping my arms around myself. “He seems pretty certain that if I know, it will end anything between us. So I asked him not to tell me, and he agreed.”
“That doesn’t sound like a good idea.” Cork frowned. “Let me talk to him. Get him to tell me, then—”
“No,” I said quickly. “I don’t want you interfering. Journey and I have an agreement. His part is keeping his secret. My part is being up front with you about us, which I’m doing. But don’t get too attached to the idea of him and me.”
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