Lotus
SPRAWLED OUT LENGTHWISE across Storm’s bed, I was half-awake, half-asleep, dreaming about kissing him.
My head hanging just off the mattress, he knelt on the carpet and pressed his lips oh-so-gently to mine. His full bottom lip to my top one, he sucked on it. My body tingled and my toes curled. Even though I was half-asleep, an upside-down kiss from him was divine. When he pulled away, I reached for him, pulling him back to me by his muscular shoulders.
“Baby, baby. You’re so pretty.” He realigned our mouths and slipped his tongue between my lips, and I sighed when his touched mine.
A drop of water plopped on my forehead, and my eyes fluttered open. It wasn’t a dream. It was Storm. Only he was truly upside down, or I was.
“Good morning,” he rumbled low, and my nipples and that place between my legs began to throb.
“Morning,” I mumbled.
I sat up in the bed as he withdrew and stared at him, dewy-eyed. With him only in a towel, and my lips still buzzing from his dreamlike kiss, I felt like I was awake inside a fantasy.
Dazed, I followed the streams of water dripping from the ends of his wet hair. They coursed down his pecs, spilled over the ridges of his colorful ink, and disappeared into the white towel he held at his waist.
My buzzing lips quirked. “You didn’t . . . um, dry your hair very well.”
“There was a naked temptress draped across my bed.” He gave me a dark look. “No way could I resist stealing a little kiss.”
“No stealing necessary.”
“Ah, so even half-asleep, your kisses belong to me?”
I nodded. All of me is yours.
“Good to know.”
Storm whipped away the towel, and I gulped. His cock was pointed straight at me. My pussy spasmed. Wetting my lips, I glanced at him through my lashes. He placed his hands on my shoulders.
“Lay back,” he said, and I did. “I’m going to get you all wet.”
Climbing over me, he caged me between his strong arms. He stared down at me, his wet hair dripping on my tingling skin.
“No condom,” I said. We were a couple now, and we’d already had the talk in LA about our health statuses. “I want to feel everything.”
I reached for him, clasping my hands together around his neck.
Bringing his head down to mine, I whispered against his lips when they brushed mine. “I want to feel all of you inside me.”
“Babe,” he whispered against my mouth. “Yes, I’d love that.”
His tongue dove inside. When I touched mine to his, that seemed to be the spark to ignite him.
Storm took over, tonguing me deep, exploring every dark corner of my mouth. His hands plunged under my ass. Gripping each globe, he squeezed rhythmically, matching the thrusting rhythm of his tongue inside my mouth.
Even wet, my skin sizzled. My nipples hardened. Heat drenched my throbbing core.
Tearing his lips away, he swept his gaze over me. “Mine,” he said, his eyes blazing. “Say it, babe. Say you’re mine.”
“I’m yours.” With time, coaxing, and my example, I would convince Storm to reveal his secret, convince him to never leave. Releasing his neck, I reached down between our bodies and gripped his cock at the base. “And you’re mine.”
“That feels so good.” He groaned as I pumped and then aligned him. In one swift motion, he thrust inside me all the way to the end of him and the beginning of me.
I moaned. Being joined was bliss.
“You’re so wet. So tight. So perfect.” He spread my legs wider and started to move.
I hooked my ankles around him, gripped fistfuls of the sheet in my hands, and lifted my hips into each one of his powerful strokes.
Greedily, I took what he gave me. His thrusts were deep, no shallow teases. Again and again, he drove deep and then impossibly deeper still. Again and again, I received him. He built the heat between us, stroke by stroke.
Storm. I bit back his name, but it blazed in my mind.
“Lotus.” As if he heard and knew I knew, he gave me more of him this time, penetrating me deeper than ever before. Stiffening inside me , he said, “Come, baby.”
“Yes!” I cried. His to command, I flew.
He threw back his head and roared, pulsing and throbbing inside me. His essence was a force, much like he was. He filled, remade, and completed me.
My pussy tightened, drawing from him every last drop, all that he could give, until spent, he collapsed on top of me. I released the sheet and wrapped my arms around him, clasping the man I loved with all my heart to me.
“Babe.” His hand on my nape, he tugged on my hair. “Look at me. I need to tell you something.”
Tensing, I pressed my lips to his skin and pulled my face away from his neck. “Yes?”
Will this be the moment he tells me?
“You’re incredible.” His hooded eyes searched mine. “So precious to me. Every time with you is better than the last.”
He rolled his hips, sending fiery aftershocks spiraling through me.
My lips parted. No, not the moment, but this was good, so undeniably good.
He lowered his head, and his whiskers brushed my chin before his mouth touched mine. I shivered and licked my lips when he lifted his head, feeling his cock stir inside me. My eyes widened.
“Yeah,” he said. “Impossible is possible with you. Do you get what this is? What I feel for you?”
I thought I did. I hoped. Despite all that had happened in my life, Storm remained the critical component to that hope. He had been since the day he reached out his hand to me on the playground.
“I love you.” I could give him the words. Even if he couldn’t return them, I felt them when we were together.
He squeezed his eyes shut, then reopened them. The green that seemed to represent hope blazed brightly within the brown.
“There’s nothing in this whole world that I want more than you.” Cupping my jaw in one hand, he swept his thumb across my skin, making my scalp tingle. “I’m going to pull out, but I want you to shower with me.”
“I can do that.”
“And I want you to spend the whole day with me.”
When he pulled out, I plunged my hand between us to stem the flow. Snagging a tissue from a box on the nightstand, he gave it to me, anticipating my need before I voiced it. It was like we were a couple who’d had sex without a condom for years, but in reality, this was my first time.
Tears burned in my eyes. I was so glad my first time was with him.
“Well, the rest of it, at least.” He gave me a wry look. “It’s already past noon. Are you hungry?”
“What?” I sat up and glanced at the window, panicking as I noted the bright sun. “No. Cork. Job hunting. I can’t. I don’t have time to play.”
“Already checked on Cork.”
“Oh.” I took in a breath and told my racing heart to slow.
“I had a little talk with him. I hope you don’t mind.”
“What kind of talk?” I tossed the wadded tissue in a nearby trash can and narrowed my gaze on him.
“Cork wasn’t alone. He had the blonde with him.”
“Monique?” My mouth rounded.
Storm nodded. “She’s eighteen. On the pill. They used protection, but it was Monique who brought it.”
“He told you all that?” I asked.
“Yeah, we’re guys.” Storm shrugged like that explained all the mysteries of the universe. “I don’t think they’re serious, but I told him I’d take him to get his own supply of condoms later. Better to be prepared all the time, yeah?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “Thank you.”
“For nothing.” He shrugged like it wasn’t significant what he’d done, but it was. He was looking out for my brother like Cork was his brother.
“Shower?” he asked to remind me.
“Sure.” I followed him into the bathroom. It was like mine, clean and small. The tile was mustard yellow, and the fixtures were gold. He drew back
the curtain and turned on the water.
“In, babe.” He tapped me on the rear.
I stepped over the rim of the tub, and he moved in behind me.
“Can you hold my hair out of the spray?” I asked. “I don’t have my shampoo and stuff here. And anyway, I don’t have time to mess with washing it. I have to go look for another job.”
“Okay. But why don’t you hold it, and I’ll soap you off.”
I shuddered, imagining it. “Your hands on my body?”
“Yeah,” he said thickly, as if just imagining it turned him on too.
“Huh-uh. I’ll never get out of here. Shower. A quick one. Then I have to go. I’m sorry.”
“Surf with me later?” He wound a long length of my hair around his hand.
Just feeling the tug at my scalp and knowing he was doing the tugging made my nerve endings, from breasts to clit, tighten like a drawn bow.
“I want to. I’ll try to make it happen.” I grabbed a bar of soap and started lathering it in my hands. “What about you? Don’t you have to return Ivy’s purse this morning?”
“Yeah, and Cork and I have band practice later, but we should be done by the afternoon.”
“I’ll call you,” I said as I applied soap to all the important parts.
“Do.” He kissed the side of my neck.
Shifting to rinse away the suds, I said, “You can let go of my hair.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Let go . . . Journey.”
I almost slipped on his name again, and then wondered, would it be bad if I did? Would it end us like he thought it would? Why?
Not knowing the answer, I kept silent.
“All right,” he grumbled.
I turned and lifted my hands, placing them on his beard. As he gently gripped my upper arms, I pressed my lips to his. “I gotta go.”
“I know you do.” Yet his fingers tightened around me, his gaze searching mine.
Did Storm want to tell me? Was he looking for clues like I was, to how the truth would be received?
“I’ll miss you,” he said softly. “I like you in my bed, in my shower, at my place . . . in my life.”
My throat closed. His words were lyrical and profound. He’d verbalized what I wanted, but I wanted it to repeat and repeat unendingly. Did he?
“I’ll be back later.”
“Promise?” he asked, his gaze steady.
“I promise.” I nodded, and he let me go, but I felt his gaze on me as I stepped out of the tub and dried off. I made myself take one step and then another. Outside the bathroom, I grabbed my things, doing what I needed to do but not what I wanted.
As I thought of him, the farther I went away from him, the tighter the cords stretched that wanted to pull me back to him.
Storm
AS SOON AS Lotus was gone, I felt uneasy. Anxious. The apartment was too empty. The air too stuffy. I couldn’t breathe right.
I got dressed, then snagged my mom’s purse and my keys. I texted Cork that I was on my way up to get him. Since he knew my secret, I didn’t see any reason that he couldn’t go with me to see my mom before we went into the studio. Plus, he was part of the steps to implement the plan.
Jogging up the stairs, I felt my heart racing, not from the exertion but anticipating seeing Lotus again. I knocked and turned the knob like I’d done earlier, when I’d surprised Cork and Monique. My not having a key to the apartment was one of many issues that needed to be addressed.
I wanted Lotus with me all the time, and Cork was like a brother. There was no need for two apartments.
“Hello,” I called, glancing around.
“Hey.” Cork emerged from the hall that led to the bedroom. “Is it time to go?”
I nodded. “Is Lotus already gone?”
“Yeah, she popped in for a second. She wanted to check the plants at Ash’s again and ask him for a reference.”
“Good plan.” I wasn’t the only one thinking ahead.
“She’s acting upbeat about getting fired. But I can tell she’s worried.” Cork’s brow creased. “She’s always stressed after paying the rent.”
“Not much left for the rest of the month after that?” I asked. I’d noted the startlingly low amount of food in their refrigerator and pantry.
“Just enough, usually.” He shrugged, just like his sister would.
This was bullshit. Their financial situation was serious until Cork’s check from Ash went into their account. Probably around the same time mine did. But I had years of savings. I wasn’t strapped, and they obviously were.
“Ready?” I turned, ready to get things moving. Cork and I had a lot to talk about, and then I had a lot to do.
“Yeah.”
He followed me, and I waited while he locked up. Then we were on our way down the stairs and to the Scout.
“Was it a tense scene with Saber and your parents last night?” he asked as I backed out of the parking space.
“Oh yeah,” I said.
Cork made a face. “I think deep down, Lotus blames herself for our parents splitting.”
“It’s not her fault. That’s ridiculous.”
“Your parents’ problems aren’t your fault either,” he said quietly.
At the stop sign, I stomped on the brake pedal harder than necessary and glanced at him sharply. I almost told him I didn’t blame myself, but I wondered if that was true. Knowing what I knew now, I did play a part in my mother and Graham’s marriage falling apart.
“Lots of times, gutting it out to stay together is best,” I said, thinking it through. “But in my parents’ instance, staying together was worse than them being apart. The tension between them affected all of us badly. Graham was abusive. My mother should have left him a long time ago.”
“Lotus mentioned your dad came over to your place last night.”
“Yeah.”
“And she still didn’t guess who you are?” He tilted his head to a considering angle.
“No,” I said. “But I’m going to tell her.” I gripped the steering wheel tight and turned.
“When?” he asked.
“Soon as I can.”
And soon couldn’t come soon enough.
I told Cork my plan. Most of it. There were a few parts that were just for her and me.
Cork grinned at me. “I’m totally in. She will be too. You could just tell her now.”
I shook my head. “I messed up not telling her at the beginning. And losing her job, she has too much going on right now.”
I couldn’t take the chance of making another wrong move with Lotus. I’d let my desire for her overrule everything in LA, and then I’d been conflicted when I first came here. I wasn’t conflicted anymore. She needed to know that, see it, feel it in her heart. That meant proving it to her.
“It’s not what others think about you that matters most, but what you think of you, and what you do that matters.”
Her father had it right. Lotus had it right, too, sharing his knowledge with me at our first meeting all those years ago. Now I needed to make it right.
Deep in my thoughts, I made it through the rest of the drive to Saber’s place in a fog.
“Hey,” Saber said, answering the door after I knocked. “Heard our old man visited you last night.”
“Who told you?” I asked, moving into the condo, Cork alongside me.
“I did.”
My mom rose from the couch. The living room, kitchen, and dining were all connected in one big loft-like space, with the bedrooms in the back. I’d seen it all the night before.
“Your father called my cell repeatedly after you left here. I’m sorry he bothered you. His lawyer contacted me this morning.”
She reached out and took my hands, dropping her gaze to look at them. I wasn’t sure she’d noted all the tats last night. She’d been deep in her own thoughts at the time.
“He’s trying to get out of any monetary responsibility.” She looked up and studied me a long beat, then her eyes widened a
nd she drew in a sharp breath. “He told you, didn’t he?”
“It’s a fucking relief to know I’m not his,” I said, keeping it real.
She’d made mistakes. We all had, but she was my mother.
“Who’s not whose?” Shield stepped out of the half bath, a flush accompanying his appearance. He glanced back and forth between Mom and me while retying the drawstrings on his board shorts.
“Does he know?” I asked Saber.
“No,” he said. “I wasn’t sure how you wanted to play it.”
“I’m your brother,” I said, looking Shield straight in his eyes. “Journey’s just a nickname.”
His eyes flew open wide. “Fucking shit! No way!”
“Yeah.” I shook my head, my lips curving. This wasn’t exactly the response I expected. “Way.”
“Righteous!” He stepped closer, squinting as he looked at me. “It is you, but you look really different.”
“What gives it away?” I asked.
“Your eyes, now that I know who you are.” He tapped his chin. “The color’s a little different, but there’s something in them that’s familiar. The facial hair and the other shit threw me off. Nine years is a long fucking time. Mom missed you a lot, you know.”
“I heard that was the case.” To her, I said, “I’m sorry, Mom. About not contacting you. It just seemed easier and best for everyone involved for me to stay gone.”
Her brow creased as her eyes glistened. “We’re all learning that easier isn’t always best. I wish I could rewind the clock and do things differently. I would have spared all of you boys a lot of pain if I’d left Graham sooner.”
“It’s okay, Mom.” Saber placed his hands on her shoulders. “No one’s perfect here. But we’re together now. That’s what counts.”
“Thank you.” Her expression softened. “Better for me to grow up at some point, even if I’m a late bloomer.” Blinking against her tears, she glanced at Shield and then me. “My boys. All together. Finally.” She opened her arms.
“It’s okay. Don’t cry.” I stepped forward, hoping to ward off the tears. I didn’t like it when she cried, any more than when Lotus did. “We’re all together again.”
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